Editing Senor Cardgage

{{about|creepy mortgage broker and used car salesman}} {{for|blue [[storybook character]]|Señor}} {{for|common misuse of the Spanish word "Señor"|Senor}}

[[Image:Senor Cartgage Profile.PNG|thumb|100px|{{cardgagequote}}]]

'''Senor Cardgage''' first appeared in the [[Strong Bad Email]] [[kind of cool]]. In this email, [[Strong Bad]] is asked what he would be like if he was not stylish and buff. He describes an ugly, dumpy version of himself who is, at least to Strong Bad, "so cool, you don't even know [that he is] cool". It turns out that Strong Bad's fictional character was apparently based on a creepy guy who lived down the street from [[The Brothers Strong]] when they were little, whose extreme sketchiness gave [[Strong Sad]] nightmares. Senor Cardgage resembles Strong Bad somewhat, both sharing a red with black markings [[Wikipedia:Lucha libre|lucha libre]] mask for a head, green eyes, pinkish torso, boxing gloves for hands and black pants. However, he's much taller than Strong Bad, wears yellow glasses, has a round head, a brown [[Mustache|goatee]], and a [[Coach Z pukes in dude's toupee|toupee]] resembling a comb-over. Senor Cardgage also has a flabby belly and much longer arms. His feet are simply black, suggesting they are covered by or are part of his [[pants]].

Senor Cardgage is often seen working different jobs, such as [[Senor Cardgage Mortgage|his own mortgage business]], a [[Senorial Day|used car dealership]], a [[licensed|day care]], a replacement [[Bubs]], and as an [[the movies|usher]]. He has also tried to market a lawn mower as an "[[concert#Easter Eggs|Intregway]]" and his own brand of shoes, [[Air Cardgage]]. He has also written a book called ''The Homeless Romantic'': "verses from the weird shrub and alarming recipes for brunswick stew", as shown in [[love poems]]. As shown in a commercial in [[theme song]], Senor Cardgage got fourteen degrees in the [[Crazy Go Nuts University|CGNU Online E-niversity]] during his lunch "take", including one that lets him "legally prescribe marriages in the state of Kansattica". He is #34 on [[Team Kneepads]], although he wears dead animals instead of kneepads. His name is pronounced "[[Senor|Seh-nor]]", not "Seh-nyor", because his name is spelled with an "N" rather than an "[[Wikipedia:Ñ|Ñ]]" (although in "kind of cool", Strong Sad pronounces it "See-nyor"). He is apparently [[Left Handedness#Ambidextrous Characters|ambidextrous]]. He sometimes forgets to wipe honey [[mustard]] off his goatee, and gets in the way of other people.

Some of his traits include:
*Suspiciously coming out of [[Weird Shrub|bushes and shrubs]] just as someone walks by.
*Pronouncing words incorrectly (for example, pronouncing "loans" as "lawns").
*Always carrying an old plastic [[Aldi Bag|Aldi grocery bag]] of mysterious contents.
*Loudly eating melty [[Zagnut Bars|chocolate bars]] while standing too close to someone in lines.
*Smelling like [[Peas|pea soup]] (according to [[Homestar Runner]]).
*Speaking in phrases that are described by Strong Bad as "[[portmanteaus|almost one word and not quite another]]," such as "excardon me" and "exobably not".
*"Calling at you as if you were a lady", [[Gender Confusion|regardless of your gender]].
*Producing traffic sounds, even when there is seemingly no traffic nearby.

Strong Bad seems to look up to Senor Cardgage as sort of an idol or a father figure. He is constantly heard remarking on how cool he believes Senor Cardgage is and how he wishes to be that cool. In [[Senorial Day]], Strong Bad asks Senor to autograph his football and throw it to him. In [[alternate universe]], he says that his life is complete after going on a fishing trip with Senor Cardgage, and expresses joy at the thought of Senor adopting him. When he sees Senor as an usher in [[the movies]], he tells [[The Cheat]] that "someday [he's] going to be the one tearing tickets and telling folks that forty-twone will be on their lest." Senor also unknowingly played [[Dadgeresque]] in [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]].

[[Image:Dadgeresque.PNG|thumb|left|"Hey, Brethany. Are you came to fetch the Dodgers?"]]
However, none of the other characters seem to like him. In particular, Strong Sad still harbors fear against Senor Cardgage as evidenced in [[garage sale]]. Strong Mad also ran away in terror when Senor Cardgage asked him to retrieve his spectacles. Coach Z was adamantly against the casting of Cardgage in Dangeresque 3, referring to him as "creepy with a capital cree", and claims Cardgage has a loose grip on reality, although Coach Z [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 8.0|also admits to having this problem]]. And of course, Homestar seems annoyed with Senor Cardgage for standing too close to him in line while eating melty candy bars, and is put off by his odd catchphrases (as well as thinking he smells like pea soup). Even Strong Bad himself has felt unnerved in Cardgage's presence, as in [[hremail3184]] he admitted that he was "quite scared" as Senor Cardgage walked in place without moving forward, and he was disgusted by his "Family Might/Could" in [[too cool]].

[[Image:Candy product alley.png|thumb|Senor's possible residence]]
Even though he has a car dealership and his own mortgage company, his residence is unknown. It is suggested in [[Senorial Day]], [[candy product]], and [[love poems]] that he is homeless, as he is shown in an [[alleyway]] sleeping in a sleeping bag and using his [[Wikipedia:Aldi|Aldi]] bag as a pillow. The [[weird shrub]] is also shown to be Cardgage's residence, complete with a doorbell and he invites them in. Strong Sad said that Senor Cardgage lived down the street when they were little, implying he had a house at one point; however, there is no proof of this. Although it is implied that he is poor, he offers to buy Strong Sad a can of peas at [[Strong Bad]]'s [[garage sale]] for $99, and then proceeds to walk away with it, supposedly paying, even though he is never seen to do so.

Originally, Senor Cardgage was just strange and creepy, but his strangeness has evolved to break the laws of physics, much like [[Homsar]]'s. A minor example of this is in [[hremail3184]], where he walks in place, accompanied by traffic sounds. A more extreme example of this is the email [[too cool]], in which it is revealed that Senor Cardgage's [[character video]] was "filmed" using an air freshener. Somehow, a completely different character video showed up in Strong Bad's [[mailbox]] the next day, in an outdated video format called "Betaflop-D", complete with a spooky music sting. In this character video, Senor Cardgage introduces "The Family Might/Could", a crudely-drawn green face drawn on an unknown part of Senor Cardgage's vague skin folds. This video curses everyone who watches it with the "Cardgage curse"; whenever they say the word "tertiary", their mouth turns into human lips and they say the word in an echoey sing-song voice.

Senor Cardgage lost a Non-Sequitur Championship to the equally bizarre character Homsar. As the loser of the contest, he had to complete a coherent sentence on [[The Show]] (as documented in the short [[Non-Sequitur Champion]]). He failed twice, but his third attempt ("Grape Soda Banked") was judged successful by "<s>celebrity</s> judge" Strong Sad.

In [[A Decemberween Mackerel]], Senor Cardgage tells Marzipan that he's dying. After she and Homestar try to save him, he passes out in the snow. Strong Bad suggests that he was not actually dying, and that it was just another of Senor's bizarre ramblings, but then states that "everybody knows" that the way to save Senor Cardgage is to tear a stack of Motor Sports Magazines in half, and pour gravy on a defibrillator. After this is done, Senor Cardgage rises up and proclaims, "Oh, it truly is a Decemberween mackerel!" (meaning "miracle").

==Fun Facts==
[[File:Strongbad Meeple Bowling on Tabletop Simulator.jpeg|thumb|<code>cardgagefan73</code> on Tabletop Simulator, meeple bowling during a game of [[Trogdor!! The Board Game]]]]
*As of [[too cool]], Senor Cardgage has the most appearances of any non-main character, except for some [[pseudocharacters]] and variations, with 32 appearances.
*[[Strong Bad]]'s username on Tabletop Simulator, which he has used to virtually play [[Trogdor!! The Board Game]], is <code>cardgagefan73</code>.

==Filmography==
*'''Debut:''' Email [[kind of cool]]
*[[:Category:Senor Cardgage Filmography|Complete Filmography]]

==Quotes of the Week==

{{qotwstart}}
*{{qotw|"You bet, small girl! How bout I hit you on the slant!"|[[Senorial Day]] outtake|Mirror:cardgage_smallgirl.mp3}}
*{{qotw|"Carageenan, Monteljohn. Can you detect me to the nearest bus stamp?"|[[fan club]]|Mirror:cardgeenan.mp3}}
*{{qotw|"Oh. I should eat a pony."|[[original]]|Mirror:cardgage_pony.mp3}}
*{{qotw|"Oh...I live a hard life." ''{faint laughter from Mike can be heard at end}''|Quote of the Week exclusive|Mirror:cardgage hardlife.mp3}}
*{{qotw|"My left name is tremendous savings, Ms. America!"|[[Senorial Day]]|Mirror:cardgage msamerica.mp3}}
|}

==See Also==
*[[Strong Bad and Senor Cardgage's Relationship]]
*[[Nicknames#Miscellaneous|Nicknames]]

[[Category:Secondary characters]][[Category:Strong Bad Email Spin-offs]]