SBCG4AP Tutorial

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Strong Bad is required by law to teach people how to play Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People.

Cast: (in order of appearance) Strong Bad, Strong Sad, Bubs

Places: Computer Room, Strong Sad's Room, Bubs' Concession Stand


Transcript (Computer Room)

Tutorial Opening

{Fade in To show Strong Bad walking to his Computer Room}

STRONG BAD: {singing} Time to check the email. The email! The email! The email!

{Strong Bad Walks into The Computer Room. The Lappy appears to be missing, with a finger print right on it.}

STRONG BAD: {ominious music} Oh no! The lappy is missing!

{Strong Bad turns to the player}

STRONG BAD:{To player} Hi folks. My name is Strong Bad. {Walks Over to A Chair and sits on it} You may remember me as pretty much the coolest guy or sandwich ever '98, or the fellow what stole your girlfriend. Welcome to the required by video game law tutorial portion of my awesome video game. {ominous music} It seems as though someone has stolen my state of the art laptop computer, and you, yes you, need to help me find out who. {Jumps off Chair} Ok, let's take a look around my computer room. Move your cursor around various items of interest in the room and click the left mouse button. I'll check them out as you do.

Computer disks

STRONG BAD: Yeah, those are my old computer games. They don't even work on the Lappy, but I keep them around so that people know how cool I am for keeping them around.

STRONG BAD: Seriously, those are not important right now.

Missing Lappy

STRONG BAD: Oh man, could that be a clue in the area where my laptop computer used to be? I wish I could somehow see it bigger.

STRONG BAD: Hmm. How can I see that purple smudge bigger?

Magnifying glass

STRONG BAD: I totally stole this from my nerdy little brother Strong Sad. Man that guy is such a whiney baby. He's probably crying over losing it right now. Ok, this is an item that I am going to keep. That means that it's going into my "inventory", or "collection of surprising useful useless crap." To see the stuff in my inventory, just click on the inventory icon in the upper left of the screen. It's the one that's blinking, but don't think about using it until I'm done talking! What were you, raised in a click-on-stuff-while-cool-people-are-still-talking barn? Anyway, when the inventory is open, click the magnifying glass icon. Your cursor, formerly a dot, will become the magnifying glass. Then just point and click on things you want to use the magnifying glass on. It's like, super easy man.

Magnifying glass → Missing Lappy

STRONG BAD: Ah ha! I'd recognize that pudgy, grape jelly stained fingerprint anywhere! It belongs to — {ominous music} Dun dun dunnnnnn! My little brother Strong Sad! Let's go across the hall into his room and unethically interrogate him.

Transcript (Strong Sad's Room)

When entering the room

{Cut to a closeup of Strong Bad entering Strong Sad's Room. Zoom out to show Strong Sad standing next to him wearing a Sherlock Holmes Detective Hat.}

STRONG SAD: Strong Bad, get outta here! I'm trying to get ready for the 19th century Scotland Yard LARP festival, and I can't find my authentic Sherlock Holmes magnifying glass!
STRONG BAD: That whiney sack of gray dump over there is Strong Sad. Clicking on him means you want me to talk to him. You'll see a bunch of stuff appear over my head. They represent topics I can talk about. Let's try talking to him about his own miserable self first.

Strong Sad

STRONG BAD: Hey little brother...
STRONG BAD: {first time only} Click on the picture of Strong Sad's ugly face in the bubble above my head.

Strong Sad → Strong Sad

STRONG BAD: {first time only} {to the audience} Sometimes when talking to people, I can choose between saying something nice, and saying something that I would say. Choose the angel me to say something nice, or the devil me to be more of a jerk.

Strong Sad → Strong Sad → Angel

STRONG BAD: Nice hat. It distracts people from your grotesquely bulbous midsection.
STRONG SAD: It's a tweed deerstalker hat!
STRONG BAD: I am sure that it is.
STRONG BAD: {to the audience} Ok, enough chit chat, let's shake him down about my stolen laptop!

Strong Sad → Strong Sad → Devil

STRONG BAD: You are ugly and you smell like old feet!
STRONG SAD: I don't even know what old feet smell like.
STRONG BAD: Corn chips and medicated creams.
STRONG SAD: Oh, you're right. I do.
STRONG BAD: {to the audience} Ok, enough chit chat, let's shake him down about my stolen laptop!

Strong Sad → Laptop

STRONG BAD: Where is my Lappy, you two-bit thief?
STRONG SAD: What? No, I told you I don't want to be part of your stupid tutorial!
STRONG BAD: If you want your magnifying glass back you will!
STRONG SAD: Fine. Give it back and I'll say my line.
STRONG BAD: {to the audience} To give my brother back his magnifying glass, just get it from your inventory and use it on him. Just like you did with the fingerprint in my computer room.

Magnifying glass → Strong Sad

STRONG BAD: Here's your nerd glass. Now, where's my Lappy?!
STRONG SAD: Thank you! {monotonously} I pawned your Lappy to Bubs so I could afford — do I have to say it? — {dejected} foot replacement surgery.
STRONG BAD: Well, you sure need it pal, but that's no reason to steal someone else's expensive high tech electronic styles! I need to get to Bubs'!
STRONG BAD: This is my map. It's what I use to get from point A to place B. You can access this map at any time by clicking the map icon in the top left part of the screen.
STRONG BAD: Yes, okay... my map is looking a little... undernourished. I need to throw Bubs' Concession stand up here somewheres. As I discover wondrous new places, I will add them to my map.
STRONG BAD: Simply point to a location and click it to travel there. Give it a try!

Strong Sad → Cancel

STRONG BAD: Nevermind.

Transcript (Bubs' Concession Stand)

When entering the scene

{Cut to Strong Bad walking to Bubs' Concession Stand. Bubs is there, as usual.}

STRONG BAD: Hey Bubs! I heard my stupid brother was down here—
BUBS: Hi Strong Bad! Here is your laptop computer—
STRONG BAD: Bubs, what are you doing? That part comes at the end of the tutorial. You're supposed to be sad in this part.
BUBS: I am? Oh yeah, right.
STRONG BAD: Why do I even bother with rehearsals?
BUBS: {flatly} Hi Strong Bad. I'm feeling so sad today that I think I am just gonna close up and go home.
STRONG BAD: {unemotionlly} No Bubs, wait! I need The Lappy!{to audience; normally} If I want this guy to cooperate, I'd better change his mood! There are usually a variety of ways to change people's moods. You'll figure this out as you go. Generally I find kissing up or breaking their stuff usually gets the desired response. In this case, go ahead and give ol' blue head a compliment to cheer him up.

Bubs → Bubs → Devil

STRONG BAD: Wow Bubs, you sure have gotten fat!
BUBS: No I haven't, I'm just smuggling cantaloupes past the border under my shirt!

Bubs → Bubs → Angel

STRONG BAD: Cheer up Bubs, at least you're not on fire!
BUBS: {cross} That's the best compliment you could come up with?
STRONG BAD: Just stick to the script!
BUBS: {monotone} Thanks muscular Strong Bad. I feel much better.

Bubs → Lappy (before compliment)

STRONG BAD: Hey Bubs, have you seen my Lappy around here?
BUBS: I don't know Strong Bad. Apparently I'm too sad to look around for it. Maybe if I were in a better mood.

Bubs → Lappy (after compliment)

STRONG BAD: Did my dumpy little brother bring my laptop computer to you?
BUBS: He sure did. He tried to pawn it to get money for some kind of foot replacement surgery, but I know how much pirated software you've got on there, so I kept it for you.
STRONG BAD: Lucky you did, or both you and Strong Sad would be in for a world of hurtings from me! The awesome one! The Strong Bad!
STRONG BAD: {facetiously} All right! I got my Lappy back! So there you go folks, that should be everything you need to know to play this best game ever. Now get out there and have some fun at the expense of others. And don't make me look bad! Er, good— Don't make me look good. I got a bad reputation to uphold.
BUBS: Hey, where's my money? I'm getting paid for this, right?

Fun Facts

  • The normal light switch cannot be interacted with.
  • Attempting to leave the Computer Room before inspecting the missing laptop with the magnifying glass results in:
STRONG BAD: I'm not leaving here until I get a clue about who stole the Lappy.
  • Attempting to go downstairs will result in one of two responses:
STRONG BAD: That goes downstairs. We won't be going down there in this tutorial.

STRONG BAD: Hey! Stay focused, man!
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