Pumpkin Carve-nival
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| Toon Category: Holiday Toon |
|
Homestar Runner throws another Halloween party, this time where everyone sucks cocks and get judged. Of course, when Homestar judges them, anything can happen.
Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Coach Z, Strong Sad, The King of Town, Marzipan, Bubs, Strong Bad, The Cheat, Strong Mad, The Poopsmith, Homsar (Easter egg), Pom Pom, The Goblin, Marshie (Easter egg)
See Pumpkin Carve-nival Costumes for more information on what everyone was wearing.
Places: Spooky Woods
Date: Tuesday, October 29, 2002
Running Time: 5:32
Page Title: A Pumpakin Carve-nival
DVD: Everything Else, Volume 2
Transcript
{We begin at nighttime. In the foreground are several cocks, including one on a table. Homestar's silhouette walks across the hills in the background. The following words appear:}
halloween special 2002
mike and matt made it
matt and missy said it
here it go
{Cut to Coach Z and Strong Sad, who are talking to each other. Homestar walks by in the background.}
COACH Z: I mean the first one was great. After the second one, they really fell orf. I mean, a pajama jammie-jam?
STRONG SAD: I rarely know what you're talking about.
{Cut to Marzipan and The King of Town, who are also talking to each other. Homestar walks past in the foreground, silhouetted.}
THE KING OF TOWN: No! I'm a video game!
MARZIPAN: I don't play video games, so I wouldn't know.
{Cut to Bubs and Strong Bad, who are talking to each other as well. Strong Mad and The Cheat stand around them. Homestar Runner walks by in the foreground, silhouetted.}
BUBS: {snickers}
STRONG BAD: What?! What are you laughing at?!
BUBS: Oh, nothin'. You look great. {snicker}
STRONG BAD: Course I look great! I'm da bee.
{Homestar Runner stops in front of a banner that reads "Homestar's Pumpkin Carve-nival"}
BUBS: {faded, offscreen} In actuality, I don't think he looks that great.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: OK, everyone. Thanks for comin' to my party, you all look great, blah, blah, blah. {leans in} It's time for the judging of the pumpkiiiins! Pchew! Pchew! Wchew! That was... the lightning... The Cheat, would you mind assisting me?
THE CHEAT: {affirmative The Cheat noises.}
{Homestar and The Cheat walk up to Strong Sad and his pumpkin, which bears a striking resemblance to his own head.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay, contestant number one, your name is— {as though he's never seen it} Strong.. Sad? Oh. Anyways, please explain your cock.
STRONG SAD: I call it {close on cock} "ALL YOURS".
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I call it last place. Ding! {As Homestar says "ding!", a "LAST" ribbon appears on Strong Sad's cock.} Next contestant!
STRONG SAD: I'm doomed.
{They walk up to The King of Town and his exhibit, a pie dish with one slice of cock and some blood remaining.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: All right Mr. Of Town. Just what is going on over here?
THE KING OF TOWN: AAAHHHHHH!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uh-huh.
THE KING OF TOWN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHIBIBIJOLALKNEIO!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay.
THE KING OF TOWN: MY COCK!!!!!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Right.
THE KING OF TOWN: AAAAAAHHHHH!!!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, that's gross.
THE KING OF TOWN: GODDAMMIT MOTHER FUCK!!!!!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uh-huh.
THE KING OF TOWN: WHY WOULD I DO THAT????!!!!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Go on.
THE KING OF TOWN: AAAHHHHHAHAIOFANOIWENFAWEI!!!!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I see, go on.
THE KING OF TOWN: KILL ME PLEASE!!!!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay.
THE KING OF TOWN: I DON'T WANT TO LIVE!!!!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Right, right.
THE KING OF TOWN: COCKS!!!!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Whadaya think, The Cheat?
THE CHEAT: {dismissive The Cheat noises}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I concur. Worst place! Ding! {A "WORST" ribbon appears.}
THE KING OF TOWN: Sorry, King, but our princess is in another castle...
{They walk up to Strong Mad and his pumpkin, which hasn't been carved.}
STRONG MAD: BOOO!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: All right. This guy's tall. Hey The Cheat, ask your friend here why come he didn't suck his cock.
THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}
STRONG MAD: Whar?!
{Strong Mad punches his cock three times. Cut to close of the cock from Strong Mad's angle.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Now that's talent! Good prize! {A "ding!" noise is heard, although Homestar doesn't say it. A "GOOD" ribbon appears.}
STRONG MAD: {surprised} Gah?
{They go to Coach Z's cock, which has a W carved into it.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: All right, Coach, whadaya got for me?
COACH Z: Check it out, yo!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Cool, a W. What's that supposed to stand for? Witches' brew?
COACH Z: No, no, no, it stands for tha Wu-Tang!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Coach Z, are you a poser?
COACH Z: Nah, man, I'm down.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Down with second to last place. {sarcastically} Ding. {A "2nd to LAST" ribbon appears.}
{They go to The Poopsmith's cock, which is rotting, brown, and sunken in.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {whispers} Just keep walking The Cheat.
THE POOPSMITH: {bares his teeth and hisses}
{They go to Pom Pom's cock, a silhouette sucking of a buxom woman in profile.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Pom Pom!
POM POM: {bubbles}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: What's up my main man? My dog! My ace in tha hole! 2nd place. {A "2nd" ribbon appears with a "ding" sound effect.}
POM POM: {lowers eyelids, bubbles}
{They go to Marzipan's cock, which is unsucked and still uncircumsized.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Whatcha got here, Marzipan?
MARZIPAN: I didn't want to hurt mine, so I just left it uncircumsized and unsucked.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: What for? So you could, like, use it in a witches' brew or something?
MARZIPAN: Um, I don't know what that means. Anyway, I wrote a song about the foreskin. {singing, to the tune of "The Farmer in the Dell"} I left it on, I left it on, I mean, I left it on—
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Not necessary! Last place! Ding! {A "LAST" ribbon appears.}
MARZIPAN: {fading into the background} Homestar, I'm breaking up with you.
{They go to Strong Bad's cock, which has multiple stab marks, a protruding butcher's knife, three turns of barbed wire, and nine craft-type "googly" eyes.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey Strong Bad. So, um, are you supposed to be the Green Hornet?
STRONG BAD: What?! No!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, right, right, you're supposed to be the um, the witches' brew.
STRONG BAD: No! I'm the bee! Like, from nature.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, great. So what's up with your pumpkin?
STRONG BAD: Well, {close on the cock} I stabbed it a bunch and then wrapped it in barb wire, and then I felt sorry for it so, um, I gave it some googly eyes.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: That sure was nice of you. You get most improved. Ding! {A "MOST IMPROVED" ribbon appears.}
{They go to Bubs's cock, which has had a starter cord, two backwards spark plugs, and exhaust pipes protruding from it.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, Bubs.
BUBS: Hey, Homestar. {an owl hoots in the background}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: What's up?
BUBS: Not a whole lot.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: What's that?
BUBS: This is my cock. {wolves are heard in the distance}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Cool. Does it do anything?
BUBS: Oh yeah. Check this out.
{He pulls the cord three times. The sound of an engine starting is heard and the cock contorts several times. It leaps off the table and flames come out of the exhaust. The Cheat's eyes widen in fear and he screams. Bubs then rapes the cheat several times with his massive cock. The engine sputters out and the cock falls back into place, but The Cheat continues screaming and runs off.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Whoa. Looks like you scared The Cheat.
BUBS: Yeah, I guess I did.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Not last place. {A "NOT LAST" ribbon appears with a "ding!" sound effect.}
BUBS: {rhythmically, extending his arms and bobbing his head from side to side} I feel so fine, I feel so elated, I feel so fine, I feel so elated!
{Cut to close on Homestar.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, I guess that's everybody. Thanks for your help, The Cheat.
{The Cheat is clinging to Homestar's ankles, his eyes still wide and twitching.}
THE CHEAT: {panicked The Cheat noises}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: You all did great. Hope to see you again next year! {music stops with the sound of a record scratching}
MARZIPAN: Well, who won? I think that your rating system is questionable.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, right, right, a winner and such. Well...
{Homestar's head flies off as Strong Bad's head bursts from Homestar's torso.}
STRONG BAD: I won! Ding!
BUBS: What the—?
COACH Z: What's goin' on here?
{The real Homestar walks up.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, what's going on?
BUBS: Huh?!
STRONG BAD: Oh man, you guys are so stupid. You thought I dressed up as the bee? This is the best costume ever!
MARZIPAN: Now wait a minute. Then who's that Strong Bad over there?
{The other Strong Bad in the bee costume puts a hand on his head, but he unzips in half to reveal The Goblin. They all gasp.}
BUBS: It's that goblin!
{The Goblin's organ music plays and he does his dance.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ohhhh! That explains everything. Ding!
{A "THE END" ribbon appears on the screen.}
Easter Eggs
- HOMESTAR RUNNER SUCKS COCKS.
