Peasant's Quest Walkthrough

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Walkthrough

WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS

(These numbers correspond to the steps outlined in the walkthrough below.)

The Beginning

Before you do anything, you'll want to talk to the knight. He'll explain the whole quest to you, and give you a few tips on what you're allowed to do. He'll tell you that before you can go up the mountain to challenge Trogdor, you need to STINK like a peasant, DRESS like a peasant, and be ON FIRE like a peasant.

General note: In the true style of the old Sierra games, if you find things too slow, you can bump up the speed by pushing shift + a few times, and slow it back down by pushing -.

STINK Like a Peasant

This quest corresponds with the blue dots on the map above.

1. It's useful (though not worth any points) to get the map. This is back at your cottage, which can be reached by going W, S, W, W. Walk into your burninated cottage and type 'look cottage'. You'll discover that there's one piece of unburninated paper. Type 'get paper' to have Dashing tuck it into his pocket. Dashing uses the paper to record where you've been. You can now access the map at any time simply by typing 'map'.
2. Go E and walk to the shore. Type 'get pebbles' to pick up the small rocks. They'll be useful for step #3.
3. Go S (be careful of the Kerrek!) and S to get to the well, or just go north twice. Walk up to it and type 'turn crank'. You'll be told that the crank won't budge. 'put pebbles in bucket' in order to make the bucket descend from the weight. 'turn crank' to get the bucket back up, which should get you a monster maskus.
4. Go S again, walk in front of the counter, and type 'talk man' to learn of the archery teacher's plight, and the secret word, 'haldo', you should say to his brother if you ever meet him.
5. Go W, N, W to get to the horse. Stand in front of him and 'wear mask'. You can now go through the fence to the west.
6. Here you'll find the archer's brother. Say 'haldo' and he'll leave. Walk up to the tree and type 'get arrow'.
7. Go E, N, E, E, E to get to the house surrounded by bushes. Type 'open door' to go into the hut and type 'talk' to talk to the lady. She'll inform you that the Jhonka has taken her riches, and that she'll give you something special if you get them back for her. Remember that for later. She'll also tell you her baby lost something outside, and if you find it, it's yours. Before you leave, walk over to the shelves and type 'get chicken feed'. When you get outside, walk up to each of the berry bushes and type 'get berries'. At the fourth tree (no matter which order you do them in), you should get the super trinket.
8. Go back to the archery counter by going W, N, N. Walk up to the archery counter and 'talk'. Then 'give trinket' to be able to play the archery game. Type 'play' in order to shoot. This is most likely the trickiest part of the game: you have to aim your bow according to the wind direction indicated by the flag on the right. Try to line up the tip of your arrow with the furthest right or left pixel of the target's leg in strong winds (flag moving due left or right), one pixel inside of the formost part of the leg during mild winds (flag diagonal), and directly at the bullseye when the air is still (flag down). To shoot, press space, and then press space again when the indicator reaches the red line. When the second indicator reaches the red line, press space a third time and you should get a bullseye. Get three bullseyes to win the SuperTime FunBow TM. You can now kill Kerrek.
9. Go S, S to get to him (if he's not there, walk off and back on the screen a few times) and type 'shoot kerrek'. It will now start raining. Walk up to his body and type 'get belt'. Congratulations, you now STINK like a peasant!

DRESS Like a Peasant

This quest corresponds with the gold dots on the map above.

1. To start this quest, you'll need to get the loot back for the peasant woman. To do so, walk N, N, W to the mud puddle (which is now wet since it rained) and walk into the puddle to get covered with mud.
2. Go W to get to the haystack, which you'll need to hide in to avoid getting killed by the Jhonka. Type 'hide' to jump into the pile of hay.
3. Waddle S in your new costume, walk up to the pile of loot, and type 'get riches'. Your costume will blow away and the Jhonka will be very unhappy and ask you if you took his riches. Simply type 'no' and you're in the clear.
4. Return to collect your prize by going S, E, E, E to the hut. 'open door' gets you inside again, and then 'give riches'. Here you'll find out that the woman is a complete fraud. The riches were probably the Jhonka's to begin with, but the lady runs out leaving you alone with her baby. You can use the baby to get four items.
5. Go N and 'talk man' to find out about the fishing. He needs a different kind of bait, so go ahead and 'throw chicken feed' into the lake. The man will reel in a big catch, and return to work at the inn nearby.
6. Go E and 'open door' to go into the inn. 'give baby' to the innkeeper to get the pills.
7. Leave the inn and go W, W to the west side of the lake. Stand at the center near the left (the game is finicky about this, but try standing at the spot where the pebbles used to be) and 'throw baby' to get the soda.
8. Then go N, N to the well and 'put baby in bucket' and 'turn crank' to get the meatball sub.
9. N, W, W brings you to the mysterious hut without a doorknob, which belongs to Naked Ned by the wavy tree. Walk to the right of the hut and type 'move rock'. The hole's a little too small for you to fit through, but someone else shouldn't have any problems. Type 'deploy baby' to get the door open. Walk into the now opened hut and go over to the dresser. 'open drawer' reveals a peasant robe. Take it with 'get robe', put it on with 'wear robe', and then just because you're so neat and tidy, close the dresser with 'close drawer' to get an extra point. Congratulations, now you DRESS like a peasant!

Get ON FIRE Like a Peasant

This quest corresponds with the green dots on the map above.

1. Go E, E, E, E, N to return to the inn and type 'open door' to get inside. 'talk man' to learn how to spend the night, which he'll only let you do if you're wearing Naked Ned's robe. Type 'get a room'. You'll wake up 20 mins later, at which point you should walk over to the pantry and 'look pantry' to learn that the innkeeper seems to like a little something called "Old Man Rub" *ick*. You'll need the pot on the top shelf. Type 'get pot' in order to reach up and grab it. With your nouveau headwear, you have to navigate your way out of the inn, which can be a little annoying. Just keep trying arrow keys until you're moving towards the door.
2. Go S and walk near the lantern. Congratulations, you're now ON FIRE and a true, honest to goodness peasant!

Get Your Revenge on Trogdor (maybe)

This quest corresponds with the red dots on the map above.

1. You can now go up to Trogdor's lair. Walk N, N to get to the guard and type 'talk man' to get him to move. Walk E to get to the cliff, save your game, go up to the cliff, and type 'climb' to get into an incredibly annoying Sierra-esque boulder and bird dodge-fest. The ledges and branches on the cliff do nothing, so don't bother with them. You'll have to go up three screens to get to the top.
2. You are now in Trogdor's lair. Save your game again. Walk into the cave and start heading E until you're accosted by the first keeper. You'll have to answer three random questions about the game in order to make it to Trogdor. Alternatively, you can 'give sub', 'give soda', and 'give pills' to skip the questions (eithero of these option gives you the same number of points). The answers to the questions are (there may be more questions than these): "Haldo", "SuperTime FunBow TM", "Old Man Rub", "Orange", "5", "Naked Ned", "C", "Northeast to Southwest", "The Kerrek".
3. Go E to meet your doom. Don't walk too close to Trogdor. All you have to do is type 'use sword' to attack the beast. Now you've gotten his attention and must deal with his majesty. Type 'talk trogdor' to face the burninator, thus completing the game.

Final score: 149 out of 150. (See note in points guide for additional point.)

Points Guide

Points ...  Command (notes)
 1......get stones (at the lake)
 2......put rocks in bucket (at the well)
 2......use maskus
 1......talk (to Mendelev at archery) [NOTE]
 3......say haldo (to Dongolev, at hidden glen)
 2......get arrow (out of the tree in hidden glen, first attempt only)
 1......get chicken feed (from shelf in baby house)
 2......get berries (after 3 attempts on different berry bushes you'll get a super trinket)
 2......throw chicken feed (into lake by fisherman/hotel-keeper)
 2......give super trinket (to Mendelev)
 3......(win SuperTime FunBow TM after getting at least 3 bullseyes on the archery range)
 5......use bow (to kill the Kerrek)
 10.....get belt (from Kerrek's remains)
 2......(jump into mud puddle)
 3......jump into hay (at the hay bail)
 7......get riches (followed by "no", at the Jhonka's cave)
 5......give riches (to "mother" at baby's house)
 5......throw baby (into left side of lake) [BONUS]
 5......put baby in bucket (at the well) (this action can be repeated ad nauseum to go above 150 points) [BONUS]
 5......give baby (to the inn-keeper at the inn) [BONUS]
 2......move rock (on side of doorknobless cottage)
 5......use baby (into the hole created by above command)
 10.....get robe (in aforementioned cottage, AFTER opening drawer)
 1......close drawer (same location, AFTER removing robe) [BONUS]
 3......wear robe (after getting it, location irrelevent)
 3......get room (in inn)
 2......get pot (in inn, after dark)
 3......(exiting inn with pot on head...a tricky task given that the controls are rotated 90 degrees in terms of their results)
 10.....(walking under candle in burninated trees, setting your robe ablaze)
 7......talk (to knight, at Mountain Pass)
 3......climb (then sucessfully climbing the cliff without dieing)
 5......(answering the first question right in the inner sanctum/handing over the sub, earning you the trog-shield)
 5......(answering the second question right in the inner sanctum/handing over the soda, earning you the trog-helmet)
 5......(answering the third question right in the inner sanctum/handing over the pills, earning you the trog-sword) 
 7......use sword (on trogdor)
 10.....talk trogdor [BONUS]

• (BONUS) denotes an action not required to beat the game but earns you extra points.
  
• (NOTE): If you talk to Mendelev before finding the Super Trinket or Monster Maskus, you only earn one point. If you talk to him afterward, the game will reward you with two points, giving you enough to earn all 150 points.

Inventory Items

 1. arrow
 2. baby
 3. kerrek belt
 4. chicken feed 
 5. SuperTime FunBow TM
 6. monster maskus
 7. pebbles
 8. pills
 9. riches
10. robe
11. soda
12. meatball sub
13. super trinket
14. TrogHelmet
15. TrogShield
16. TrogSword
17. map (For some reason it remains questionmarks even after you retrieve the map)
18. shirt (Rather Dashing starts with this item and never uses it in the game)