Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 15.2

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 11:48, 25 February 2008

"And tell 'em they'll get 10% off at the concession stand!"

The King of Town threatens to reveal Marzipan's secrets, Homestar chases blondes, Bubs looks for women, Coach Z wants a backup singer, The Cheat leaves a prank call, and Marzipan's questionable surgeon wants to use a photo in an advertisement.

Cast (in order of appearance): Marzipan, The King of Town, Homestar Runner, Bubs, Coach Z, The Cheat, Strong Bad, Questionable Surgeon, Lord Quackingstick (Easter egg)

Places: Marzipan's House, The Movie Theater (Easter egg)

Release Date: Monday, February 25, 2008

Running Time:

Page Title: Marzipan's Answering Machine Volume 15

Transcript

Marzipan's Greeting

MARZIPAN: Hi, this is Marzipan. I'm currently drowning in the abyss, but please leave me a message anyway. {beep}

Message 1

THE KING OF TOWN: Well, well, well, Miss Marzithang, any idea why Strong Bad's been goin' around calling me a "stankwad", or why the Bubs keeps referring to me as a "wad in the grass"? Hmm? Any idea? Maybe because you told everybody that me middle name is Wad?! That was supposed to be our secret! I thought we had a deal. Well, don't blame me if all of a sudden your questionable voluntary surgery becomes public knowledge! The wad is out!

Message 2

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh hello, yes, middle of our conversation? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I just met with him. Oh yeah, he's real famous. Rich. Rich with money. How many? Five? Five's good. {whispering} Psst! Sorry, Marzipan. I had to perpetrate like I was talking, {normal volume} on account of this hot blonde thing walked by. Purple dress, broomstick style. Oh yeah, you're jealous. Yeah, what? No, he's half robot.

Message 3

BUBS: Hey Marzipan, it's the Bubs. Say, uh, do you know any other women 'round here? I mean, you're not exactly my type, and I need somebody to go to the movies with. It's getting desperate! I'll take anything at this point— lady duck, lady pinecone, lady pillow. I gotta go to the movies with somebody! So if you know of any kind of lady item, put in a good word for ol' Bubs. And tell 'em they'll get 10% off at the concession stand! {quickly, as the following words appear onscreen} Discount will not be honored!

Message 4

COACH Z: {with hip-hop beat playing in background} Hey, yo, Marzi! Coach Z, all up in the stujo. Just cut my new record, want you to be a sassy high-pitched background singer on this new track! Maybe sing a-like: "Word, I'm out!" Or maybe like we sampled you from an old '70s disca tape, and you say: "You ain't the type of man that you used to be!" Basically want to just get you up in the stujo, which is kind of a cardboard box, with a microdaphone in it, not plugged in. Uh... maybe like, disregard... that last part. I'm out, peace, love!

Message 5

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Uh, he says you're a face. A facewich. Like a face witch, like rides a broomstick? Or a facewich like between two pieces of bread?

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: You're a facewich and blow up your house.

THE CHEAT: {frustrated The Cheat noise}

STRONG BAD: Your nose! Blow up your nose.

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Epsom salt?! The Cheat, are you sure that's the direction you want to go with this prank call?

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises, gnawing noises}

STRONG BAD: And now, you're just gnawing on the phone. Gimme that! I'll show you how it's done. {quickly} Marzipan, this is Dean Prankcaller from the You're Gross Institute calling to ask you to come speak at out graduation ceremony. If you're interested, please walk into the bathroom and stare at your gross face until you make yourself puke. Thank you, the end, very much. {normally} Now that's a prank call! {more gnawing noises} Ugh...

Message 6

QUESTIONABLE SURGEON: Mmmmmm yes, hello, Miss Marzipan. This is your questionable surgeon. We were just calling to ask if we could use the before and after photos from your {photos appear; the "before" photo shows Marzipan with a large nose and the "after" photo shows her as usual} questionable voluntary surgery in one of our advertisements {pronounced as "ad-VER-tis-ments"}. Yes, that's right, I pronounced it "ad-VER-tis-ments".

Easter Eggs

• Click on the number display after the final message to see Bubs at the movies.

{Bubs is at the movies with Lord Quackingstick, who has a blonde wig. Part of Strong Bad's head is visible in another seat.}

BUBS: I gotta tell ya, Lady Quackingstick, I'm having a great time at the movies!

STRONG BAD: {as Lady Quackingstick} Quack, quack!

Fun Facts

Trivia

• This answering machine has a new loading screen, showing a corner of Marzipan's table rather than the old spinning Homestar Runner logo.

Remarks

• The Main Page, toons links and the cartoon itself were added some time before the page was made, so users were met with a "404'd" message for the first few minutes after the update. However, it was viewable by looking at the Flash file.

External Links

• watch "Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 15.2"
• view the Flash file for "Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 15.2"