Crimes Committed by Strong Bad

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 20:32, 15 May 2009

Strong Bad's Wanted Poster

Over the course of the Homestar Runner body of work, Strong Bad has committed several crimes and misdemeanors. In all of the crimes, he either acts alone, or he is aided by either The Cheat, Strong Mad, or both. He has been punished or caught while committing several of his crimes. The list is long and diverse, ranging from petty misdemeanors to major crimes, such as kidnapping.

Arson

• Email the chair — As a child, Strong Bad ignites a newspaper with a Duplo lighter and throws it at a house, causing the front door to emit smoke.
• Email caper — Strong Bad admits to setting fire to Strong Sad's underwears.
• Strong Badia the Free — Strong Bad can use his lighter on all sorts of different objects to destroy them, such as Strong Sad's national documents and Pom Pom's kimono.

Assault and Battery

• Egg Throwing Game — Strong Bad throws eggs at people dressed up as ghosts.
• Bug in Mouth Disease — Strong Bad hits Homestar with a skillet and throws remote at him.
• Donut Unto Others — Posing as health inspector, Strong Bad knocks over Homestar's cardboard donut stand while putting an 'F,' on it, intentionally causing the donut grease to spill on and injure Homestar.
• Email little animal — Strong Bad kicks both The Cheat and Strong Mad.
• Email invisibility — Strong Bad punches Homestar in the gut.
• Email your friends — Strong Bad inflicts pain on, or tortures all of the main characters (except The Poopsmith) in some contemptuous way, most of which simply involves hitting them with his foot or another object.
• Email the process — Strong Bad throws a discount brick at Homestar.
• Email no loafing — Strong Bad's "appointment" consists of jumping on Strong Sad in bed and shouting "I hate you."
• Email car — Strong Bad punches Homestar with his tricked out fist.
• Email origins — Strong Bad presumably gives Strong Sad a belly button by attacking him with a powered drill.
• Email rampage — Strong Bad's "regal rampage" consists of hitting the King of Town with a scepter.
• Email modeling — Strong Bad Karate chops the King of Town.
• Email lady...ing — Strong Bad throws an anvil into the audience, presumably hitting at least one person.
• Email lady fan — When setting fire to Marzipan's arts and crafts supplies, he burns her hair and possibly face and clothes as well.
• Email cliffhangers — Strong Bad ties up the King of Town and Homsar, and dangles them over a cliff. He "resolves" them by cutting their ropes, causing them to fall.
• Email what I want — Strong Bad is suggested to have put wildebeest pheromones in Strong Sad's laundry on at least two occasions.
• Email concert — Strong Bad hits Strong Sad with a sloshy record.
• Email slumber party — Strong Bad attacks Strong Sad with the intent of dislocating his shoulder, having presumably previously dislocated the other in a similar fashion.
• Email environment — Strong Bad attempts to drop a "65 mile-per-gallon hybrid" piano on Marzipan and Strong Sad, but both of them get out of the way before the piano can hit either of them.
• Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 16.2 — Strongbad puts Roman Candles in Marzipan's toilet which go off in proximity to Strong Sad.

Attempted Murder

• Revenge of the King — If you win, you will see The King of Town being lowered into a pot of hot butter, while Strong Bad eats cupcakes.
• Email homsar — Strong Bad attempts to kill Homsar with the Heavy Lourde.
• Email the bet — Strong Bad is hoisting the Typing Tutor Turbo over The King of Town's head, but you do not see him drop it.
• Email pom pom — Strong Bad attempts to pop Pom Pom with a pin while he's on fire, blindfolded. Pom Pom beats the crap out of him instead.
• Email the movies — In an attempt to kill Homestar and perhaps other audience members, Strong Bad fires a bazooka in the movie theater, seemingly reducing the theater to a smoldering crater.
• Marshmallow's Last Stand &mdash Strong Bad unsuccessfully attacks Homestar with a bomb, ultimately ending up blowing a hole in his own head.
• Date Night — Strong Bad and Homestar attempt to kill Marzipan and The Cheat using fireworks, but their plan backfires, causing their submarine to sink.
• Blubbo's Commercial — Strong Bad is an accessory to attempted murder when he has The Cheat fire a harpoon at Strong Sad and Coach Z.
• A Death-Defying Decemberween — Strong Bad moves Homestar Runner's mattress, buried at the bottom of The Steep Deep, assuming that Homestar would die sledding down the mountain.

Breaking and Entering

• Email caper — Strong Bad breaks into Homestar's house with The Cheat to burglarize it. They are unable to steal anything, however, because The Cheat breaks the cow lamp, thus waking up Homestar Runner and forcing them to leave.
• Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon — Strong Bad and The Cheat attempt to break into Bubs' Concession Stand to steal Bubs' fund-raiser candy bars. They are caught by Homestar and Coach Z when they attempt to blow the back door open with fireworks.
• Email part-time job — Strong Bad breaks into Marzipan's house. His motive is unknown, but it's believed he did so to check his email from inside.
• DNA Evidence — Again, Strong Bad breaks into Marzipan's house to search inside her couch to find money. He leaves behind a trail of pecan-pie-filling footprints, and accidentally drops a vial of DNA Evidence.
• Homestar Ruiner — Strong Bad breaks into the King of Town's Castle to steal Homestar's criminal record.

Cheating

• Original Book and Strongest Man in the World — Strong Bad has The Cheat unplug The Robot and help him hold up his grapes.
• A Jumping Jack Contest — Strong Bad has Strong Mad and The Cheat distract Bubs, offer Homestar Melonade in order to force him to drop out, and stand in for Strong Bad wearing bad costumes.
• Tis True, Pom Pom, Tis True — Strong Bad has The Cheat attack Homestar so that Strong Bad can win the race.
• Email impression — Strong Bad attempts to cheat at the Strong Sad Lookalike Contest by using a tape recording of Strong Sad's voice.
• Halloween Awards Show — When Strong Bad wins the costume contest, he thanks The Cheat for helping him cheat.
• Email pet show — Strong Bad uses The Cheat to sabotage the Cat Mess Inbredtational Pet Show so The Cheat can win, but they are disqualified because Homestar has sabotaged them with relish foot.
• Homestar Ruiner — Strong Bad cheats heavily to win the Race to the End of the Race.
• Baddest of the Bands — Strong Bad sabotages the other bands in order to win the Battle Royal of the Bands.

Extortion

• Email suntan In order to get Strong Sad to participate in his Ab-Abber 2000 commercial, Strong Bad threatens Gooblies.
• Email lunch special Strong Bad floods out Bubs' Concession Stand to get a lunch discount.
• Email dangeresque 3 Strong Bad steals Strong Sad's sandwich to coerce him into participating in Dangeresque 1: Dangeresque, Too?, and then eats the sandwich anyway.

Frameup

• Homestar Ruiner — Strong Bad frames Homestar for destroying Marzipan's decorations, and then later Pom Pom with Total Load to get him disqualified so that Homestar could win the Tri-annual Race to the End of the Race.
• Baddest of the Bands — Strong Bad sets up several crimes, each making it appear as though Coach Z committed it to get Two-O Duo back together again (including TPing The Stick and stealing the alarm from Bubs' Concession Stand).

Gate-crashing

• Email senior prom — Strong Bad attempts to crash a senior prom by using a device that de-pants everybody in the room, but it only de-pants him. He ends up becoming prom queen.

Kidnapping

• Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon — Strong Bad kidnaps the Poopsmith.

Identity Theft

• Email credit card — Strong bad scams Homestar into giving him his credit card information, which he uses to purchase a spaceship, two killer robots, a rocket launcher and a robotic dog/shark, spending a total of $3,013,500,000 USD.
• DNA Evidence — Text on Strong Bad's computer implies that he is trying to get someone's credit card information, and by inputting it, it will "safen it all out".

Phone Harassment

• Strong Bad has left numerous prank calls on Marzipan's Answering Machine, and in many of them, he attempts to con Marzipan into giving him something, ranging from food to free cable. It is unlikely that many of these attempts were actually successful.

Prison Escape

• Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon — Strong Bad and The Cheat escape from the cardboard box jail by getting Strong Mad to lift up the box.

Public Indecency

• Email nightlife — Strong Bad gets thrown out of Club Technochocolate every night because he keeps taking off his pants.

Rioting

• Email disconnected — Strong Bad's headless body riots against The Municipality.

Spamming

• Email unused emails — Strong Bad sells 5,000 email addresses to Bubs for his "free weekly spamvertisements." In return, he gets a quarter for each email ($1,250 total.)

Theft

• A Jumping Jack Contest — Impersonating Pom Pom, Strong Bad steals Homestar's Trophy.
• Marshmallow's Last Stand — Strong Bad steals and then destroys Homestar's Star.
• The Reddest Radish — Along with The Cheat, and Strong Mad, Strong Bad steals a radish from Marzipan's garden.
• The Luau — Strong Bad steals Marzipan's wood to use to roast marshmallows at his party.
• Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon — Strong Bad steals several items during the course of the cartoon, including The King of Town's crown.
• Strong Bad's Treat Snatcha — Strong Bad steals candy from trick-or-treaters by slashing open their candy bags.
• Homestar Presents Presents — Using the Grabbo Arm, Strong Bad steals Marzipan's purse.
• Happy Hallow-Day — Strong Bad suggests that he is going to steal the goblin's hamster ball.
• Email vacation — Strong Bad tries to steal the bike from Pantsburg.
• Email invisibility — Strong Bad steals a bunch of Swiss Cake Rolls from Bubs' Concession Stand.
• Email dangeresque 3 — Strong Bad steals and eats Strong Sad's sandwich.
• Email extra plug — It is suggested that Strong Bad steals pretendous amounts of electricity from the King of Town in order to power his 'Lectric Boots.
• Email origins Strong Bad and the other On Point Kings steal the King of Town's dunce cap.
• Email garage sale — Strong Bad has The Cheat steal Marzipan's answering machine, which he then attempts to sell back to her at an inflated price. He also conspires with The Cheat to steal various items from Homestar's house, though Homestar may consent to this activity.
• Email bike thief — Strong Bad steals Pom Pom's bike and attempts to steal Homestar's bike, as well as admitting to stealing various people's lunches, girlfriends, and puppies. He also masquerades as a bush to get free pizza.
• Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 16.2 — Strong Bad steals many of Marzipan's valuables when she is out of town.
• Homestar Ruiner — Strong Bad steals many items during the course of the game, including Homestar's criminal record.
• Strong Badia the Free — Strong Bad steals Pom Pom's katana sword replacing it with a fake one.

Unlawful Impersonation

• A Jumping Jack Contest — Strong Bad impersonates Pom Pom in order to steal the Jumping Jack Contest Trophy from Homestar.
• Donut Unto Others — Strong Bad impersonates a health inspector and assaults Homestar.
• Email [bike thief] — Strong Bad impersonates a bush to get free pizza from Bubs' Concession Stand.

Vandalism

• 3 Times Halloween Funjob — Strong Bad, along with Strong Mad and The Cheat, egg and TP The Stick and The King of Town's castle (the latter is not shown).
• Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon — Strong Bad and The Cheat try to blow up the back door of Bubs' Concession Stand in order to steal chocolate bars.
• Baddest of the Bands — Strong Bad TPs the stick.