Let us give TANKS!

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Toon Category: Holiday Toon
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"I can never tell you two apart!"

Blue Laser invites the Cheat Commandos to Thanksgiving dinner.

Cast (in order of appearance): Green Helmets, Gunhaver, Silent Rip, Reinforcements, Crackotage, Reynold, Firebert, Fightgar, Blue Laser Minions, Blue Laser Commander, Ripberger, Oliver Smidgen, Reynold's Brother

Places: Cheat Commandos HQ, Blue Laser Cottage, Reynold's Parents' House

Date: November 21, 2006

Running Time: 5:00

Page Title: A Very Tremendous Chimendez Thanksgiving

Contents

Transcript

{The title appears — "LET US GIVE TANKS!!" written by A. Chimendez — over a shot of the Cheat Commando base in red, orange, yellow, and brown hills in the background and falling leaves. Light, percussive music plays.}

{Gunhaver and Silent Rip are in front of the control panel and video screen, watching shaky video of three Cheat Commandos being assaulted by blue lasers and explosions on a smoky, war-torn landscape.}

CHEAT COMMANDO: We're taking heavy losses, sir. They've got us pinned down! We really need—

{The video image is interrupted by the Blue Las-alert siren and a yellow and orange screen with the text, "Thanksgiving Break Alert".}

GUNHAVER: All right! Thanksgiving break!

{The screen fades through static back to the Cheat Commandos.}

CHEAT COMMANDO: But sir! We could really use some—

{Gunhaver turns off the monitor and turns to Silent Rip.}

GUNHAVER: I love Thanksgiving break!

{Focus on Silent Rip.}

SILENT RIP: Uh, shouldn't we go help him?

{Cut out to include Gunhaver, along with Reinforcements and Crackotage.}

GUNHAVER: Naw, he's just one of those green helmets. We got like fifty of them. So, what's everybody doing for the holiday?

{Shift to Reynold.}

REYNOLD: I'm going to stay at my parents' house! If they haven't rented out my room... again... to my brother.

{Gunhaver salutes the Cheat Commandos as they leave.}

GUNHAVER: Well, have a good time, soldiers. I'll just be here in case Blue Laser tries to blow up over-the-river-and-through-the-woods... so that no one to grandmother's house... can go.

{Shift to a small cottage in the autumn woods with a gravel path and smoke rising out of the stone chimney. Transition music plays.}

{Cut to the inside of the cottage. A Blue Laser minion is preparing a turkey in the kitchen. Blue Laser Commander enters, brandishing a meat fork.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: I thought I told you to fiendishly dice the evil onions!

BLUE LASER MINION 1: No sir.

{Pan to a second Blue Laser Minion chopping onions with fiendish faces drawn on them on the counter.}

BLUE LASER MINION 2: That was me, sir.

{Pan back to Blue Laser Commander.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: I can never tell you two apart! Yah! {Hurls the meat fork into the offscreen minion's eye.}

BLUE LASER MINION 2: Ow!

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: There! Now you're the one with the fork stuck in your eye!

{The door crashes open and Fightgar, Firebert, and Silent Rip enter, armed with guns.}

FIGHTGAR: Sorry Blue Laser — the only thanks you'll be giving is getting shot by us with our bullet-shooting guns!

{Blue Laser Commander approaches the Cheat Commandos.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: What?!

FIGHTGAR: Aw, just kiddin'. {Smiles, along with Firebert.} Thanks for havin' us over!

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: {laughs and smiles} You really had me going for a second there. Get in here, you guys!

{Fightgar, Firebert, and Silent Rip enter, followed by Ripberger.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Ripberger, you made it! {Ripberger stops at the door} I thought you were only available for a limited time with three proofs of purchase!

RIPBERGER: I brought some ambrosia salad! {displays the salad}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Uh! Where's Gunhaver?!

{Cut to Fightgar and Silent Rip.}

SILENT RIP: {scratching his head} Uh, we kinda didn't give him your invitation. Gunhaver has a bit of a hard time cutting loose.

{Cut to Gunhaver in the Cheat Commandos base, saluting a flag labeled "The Flag" which is being blown by a fan.}

GUNHAVER: Forty-seven! Forty-eight! Forty-nine! Fifty! C'mon Gunhaver, you maggot! Give me fifty more! One! Two! Three!

{Cut back to the cottage, with Blue Laser Commander and Fightgar at a table with plates, the turkey, and yams with marshmallows.}

FIGHTGAR: Uh... I guess... Claude Monet, and um... Manchester United!

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: That's good, that's good! Now what about you, Silent Rip?

{Pan over to Silent Rip.}

SILENT RIP: I'm thankful for this bountiful Blue Laser Thanksgiving action playset!

{A "ding" noise is heard and the words "CHEAP AS FREE" appear in a cloud bubble in the corner.}

{Cut to Crackotage.}

CRACKOTAGE: I'm thankful for the gift of rhyme!!

{Cut to Ripberger.}

RIPBERGER: Ambrosia salad!

{Cut back to Crackotage.}

CRACKOTAGE: I'm also thankful for this lime! {holds up a lime} Hibbety-jeebity!

{Cuts to Blue Laser Commander.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Plutonium at closeout prices!

{Cut to a Blue Laser minion.}

BLUE LASER MINION: I'm thankful I don't have a fork in my eye, sir.

{Cut back to Blue Laser Commander.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: My Nana's new hip!

{Cut to the Blue Laser minion with a fork stuck through his visor into his eye.}

BLUE LASER MINION WITH FORK IN EYE: I'm... thankful for this fork in my eye.

{Cuts to Gunhaver, facing the camera in front of the control panel.}

GUNHAVER: So I exchanged it for something of lesser value, and they gave me the rest in store credit!

{Cut to reveal him standing in front of the video monitor with the Cheat Commando green helmet onscreen.}

CHEAT COMMANDO: That's great, sir. A real value. But we could really use some air support!

GUNHAVER: Yeah, I should go too. Gotta check in on Blue Laser.

CHEAT COMMANDO: Please, NO—

{Gunhaver brings up the Blue Laser cottage on the video monitor, showing Blue Laser Commander, Fightgar, Silent Rip, and a Blue Laser minion at the table with the turkey.}

FIGHTGAR: Ambros-er-a salad... sayin' right, right, right, right...

GUNHAVER: Tight buns! Blue Laser has captured the Cheat Commandos and is forcing them to sit down to a delicious meal and pleasant conversation! Hang on, boys. Daddy Gunhavvy's on his way! {walks away from the monitor}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: But I'm not thankful for that guy over there with the camera!

{Cut to Reinforcements, who is using a camera and lights to record the Thanksgiving dinner.}

REINFORCEMENTS: Hey, guys.

{Focus on Silent Rip and Blue Laser Commander.}

SILENT RIP: Uh-oh. You know what that means.

{Cuts to Fightgar.}

FIGHTGAR: It won't be long before...

{Gunhaver pops out of the turkey holding a handgun. The Cheat Commandos theme music plays in the background.}

GUNHAVER: Gobble, gobble... you're in trobble!

CRACKOTAGE: {offscreen} Hey, that's not bad!

{Cut to Blue Laser Commander.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Gunhaver! You actually have a gun!

{Cut back to Gunhaver, with the silhouettes of two Cheat Commandos in the foreground.}

GUNHAVER: Cheat Commandos, run! For cover! {camera zooms in} Blue Laser is clearly trying to have you all over for dinner!

{Cut to Silent Rip.}

SILENT RIP: Uh, yeah! He invited you too. But we didn't tell you because we were afraid you'd do something like this!

{Cut back to Gunhaver.}

GUNHAVER: And I did! The Cheat Commandos win again!

{Cut to Blue Laser Commander.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Well, since you're here... {clasps his hands together} Play us a song, won't you, Charles?

{Pan past several Cheat Commandos, all murmuring in agreement}

GUNHAVER: A—a song? No, I couldn't possibly... it's been so long, I...

{Cut back to Gunhaver, with a small, dirty Cheat Commando wearing a cap behind him.}

OLIVER SMIDGEN: Won't you play us a song, Gun'aver?

GUNHAVER: All right, you talked me into it. One song!

{Cut to Gunhaver sitting at a black upright piano with the Cheat Commandos and Blue Laser gathered around.}

GUNHAVER: This is one everybody knows, so give me a hand, boys. {begins playing the piano and singing} Buy all our playsets and...

CHEAT COMMANDOS AND BLUE LASER: Ooh!

GUNHAVER: {singing} Buy all our playsets and...

{Ripberger descends upside-down from the ceiling.}

CHEAT COMMANDOS AND BLUE LASER: Ah!

GUNHAVER: {singing} Buy all our playsets and...

ALL: {singing} Toys!

{Pan past Fightgar, Silent Rip, and the Blue Laser minion with the fork in his eye. Focus on the piano keys, on which Gunhaver is playing diddy tune of the Cheat Commandos theme song, and then cut back to everyone in front of the piano.}

ALL: Yeah!

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: A holiday classic!

{Smoke begins wafting through the the room.}

SILENT RIP: Uh, what's that smell?

FIGHTGAR: How should I know? You're the one called Silent Rip!

GUNHAVER: That's all me. I stuck a nuclear device in the oven in case I didn't make it out of here alive! {several of the attendees open their mouths in surprise}

{Cut to Reynold's room, with his brother playing video games. There are several speakers in the room; the one in the foreground is pulsating as it plays music. The Blue Laser cottage can be seen outside the window with smoke rising from it.}

MUSIC: No one understands me! No one understands me!

{Reynold enters the room, covering his ears.}

REYNOLD: Will you turn that noise down?!

REYNOLD'S BROTHER: You're so lame.

MUSIC: No one understands me... but YOU!

{The Blue Laser cottage explodes in a mushroom cloud at the end of the song and the glass window of Reynold's room shatters.}

{Cut to a picture of Gunhaver coming out of the turkey, with the message, "Happy Thanksgiving! from those Cheat Commandos". The "Buy all our playsets and toys" music plays, without lyrics.}

Easter Eggs

  • At the end, click on "Cheat Commandos" to see Oliver Smidgen and Reynold's brother's action figures.
  • At the end, click on the turkey drumstick to see Blue Laser order around a minion.
    BLUE LASER COMMANDER: {Holding a plate of food} I need you to take this plate of food, make a milkshake out of it, and spread it on Nana's gums for her!
    BLUE LASER MINION: I'm going to go ahead and disobey a direct order, sir.
    BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Understandable!

Fun Facts

Explanations

  • The "Green Helmets" are minor, expendable characters added so "heroes" can die without losing any members of the main cast. Such characters are frequently called "Redshirts", due to the fact that such characters in Star Trek usually wore red shirts; in G.I. Joe, they were called "Greenshirts".
  • Ambrosia salad is a fruit salad variation that contains sour cream, whipped cream, mandarin oranges, pineapple, and coconut. Some variations also contain bananas, strawberries, or miniature marshmallows.
  • Oliver's pronunciation of Gunhaver as "Gun'avah" is a play on "Guv'nuh," a term of British origin used to refer to a person of higher social status.

Trivia

  • Crackotage's "Hey, that's not bad!" line is the first time we hear him not attempting to conclude what he says with a rhyme.
  • This toon contains a fairly rare appearance of a handgun.

Remarks

  • The leaves at the beginning fall in front of the character-generated title.
  • Gunhaver is shown playing C E F B♭ F E. The notes heard are G G A B♭ A G.
  • In action figure form, Reynold's brother still has cartoon-style eyes, although it may be because of his disgruntled facial expression.
  • When Fightgar enters Blue Laser Cottage, he threatens Blue Laser Commander with "bullet-shooting guns." The Cheat Commando weapons normally fire lasers.
  • Reynold's brother's box says he is a child of the '90s, meaning he is somewhere between age 6 and age 16 at the time of the toon's release.
  • If you look closely at Gunhaver's gun when he bursts out of the turkey, the lines are not properly drawn as one of them is at a slightly awkward angle.
  • During the song, Ripberger's mouth doesn't move. However, his body moves as though he is singing.

Goofs

  • The fork in the injured Blue Laser Minion's eye switches eyes depending on which direction he is facing. This is due to the fact that each character simply flips horizontally when facing a different direction, rather than being redrawn.
  • Reynold's parents' window breaks, correctly, a short time after the Blue Laser Cottage can be seen blowing up. The noise of the explosion, however, is not delayed at all. Since it's the noise itself which shatters glass, the explosion should be heard at the same time the window breaks.

Fixed Goofs

The floating lime
  • Crackotage's arm originally went down after showing the lime, but the lime didn't descend with his arm. This was fixed by removing the downwards arm movement.

Inside References

  • The Lil' Steiny piano is a reference to Stiny's nickname, Li'l Stiny, from superhero name. (See also: Real-World References)
  • The page title refers to A. Chimendez.
  • This is another instance of blood in a cartoon.
  • This is another instance of Cheap as Free in a cartoon.
  • The price of each Easter egg action figure is $11.01.
  • The appearance of Ripberger and Reinforcements originated from ideas mentioned in the commentaries for the Cheat Commandos on Everything Else, Volume 2.

Real-World References

  • The Lil' Steiny piano is a reference to Steinway & Sons pianos. (See also: Inside References)
  • Over the River and Through the Woods is a popular holiday song written by Lydia Maria Child.
  • Oliver Smidgen is an allusion to the title character of Oliver Twist.
  • Claude Monet (1840-1926) was a French Impressionist painter.
  • Manchester United Football Club is the English football team most well-known to Americans through David Beckham. The reference is also made funnier by the joke associated with the club, that it attracts fans from all corners of the globe except Manchester itself (a recent study showed people with Manchester-area post codes are more likely to support Manchester City).
  • The poster in Reynold's brother's room displays the anarchy symbol.
  • The gun that Gunhaver is holding resembles a Colt .45 M1911.
  • The end of Gunhaver's song on the piano bears a strong resemblance to the ending of Rhapsody in Blue by George Gershwin.
  • In the toy Easter egg, The "Next Gen Gamepad" on the box for Reynold's brother most closely resembles that of the Super NES, which was considered a next-generation console in the early 1990s. Incidentally, two new game consoles, the PlayStation 3 and the Nintendo Wii, were released just a few days before this toon.
  • Oxi Clean is a brand of general-purpose cleaning products.

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