I Killed Pom Pom

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 13:18, 31 October 2014

"It's time to fight murder with murder!"

Homestar tries to cover up his "murder" of Pom Pom.

Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Pom Pom, Strong Bad, Bubs, Coach Z, The King of Town, The Poopsmith, Homsar (Easter egg), Strong Mad, The Cheat, Strong Sad, Marzipan.

See I Killed Pom Pom Costumes for more information on what everyone was wearing.

Places: The Field, Bubs' Concession Stand, The King of Town's castle, Basement of the Brothers Strong, Marzipan's House.

Date: Thursday, October 30, 2014

Running Time: 7:48

Page Title: Bewaouw! Take Caouw! Bewauw!

Transcript

{Open in the field. Homestar and Pom Pom are standing in front of an inflatable pumpkin, which is plugged into a tiny segment of wall sticking out of the ground.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh man Pom Pom, this Halloween is gonna be the Christmas ball! Hot tricks, cool treats, good friends, and MURDER!

{Every time Homestar says "murder", the title screen for the toon pops up to a musical sting. It shows a silhouette of Pom Pom sliced in two, with the caption "I KILLED POM POM!"}

POM POM: {bubbles}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What? Murder? Nah, that doesn't sound like something I would say. I was probably talking about the crisp cool air, the fallen leaves dappling the MURDER!

POM POM: {bubbles}

{As Homestar speaks, with his eyes closed, Pom Pom bounces away. He knocks aside the pumpkin's power cord and pulls it out of the socket as he does so, and it slowly deflates.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Nah, man, you're hearing things, I was just talking about MURDER. And, you know, like this time of year sometimes there's a little bit of MURDER, and maybe a little bit of MURDER. But I would never say anything about— {opens his eyes and sees the now-completely-deflated pumpkin} WAH! Murder! Pom Pom! What happened? Did you get popped? Say a few bubbles! You can't be dead! You're my best friend and concubine! {crying} Oh, I should really look up what that word me-he-he-he-heeeans!

{Strong Bad walks up.}

STRONG BAD: Who-ho-hoa! What manner of stitch witchery have I stumbled upon this Hallows-eve?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, Strong Bad, I think my evil jealous side secretly killed Pom Pom without even telling my dopey lovable side!

STRONG BAD: All right, settle down, Homestar. Unckie Strong Bad'll getcha through this. Now, tell me exactly what happened.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, it all started 117 days ago...

{To a musical sting, the screen cuts to one similar to the title card and reads "4 hours later..." Cut back to The Field at night, with Strong Bad and Homestar in costume.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: ...and then I turned back around, and there was a puddle of Pom Pom at my feet!

STRONG BAD: And no one else saw anything?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: No one! Well, there was that inflatable pumpkin, but I think he said something about having a previous engagement. Man, I like that pumpkin. I should really get his phone number.

STRONG BAD: Well, it definitely sounds like you killed Pom Pom. First thing you need to do is dispose of the body. {Pulls a partially-transparent card out of his jacket} Here, go to Bubs's and get everything on this laminated murder cover-up check list. Plus a twelver of Cold Ones and a dozen Maple Bismarcks. For the cover up. Than meet me back at my basement.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks, Strong Bad, you're a real cartoon pal!

{Takes the card and runs off.}

STRONG BAD: Oh-ho, oh, this is gonna be a real good night.

{Strong Bad walks off scatting the rhythm to the song "Mack The Knife". Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand, where Bubs and Coach Z are having a discussion.}

BUBS: Heh heh, I'd like to see those teenagers try and egg the concession stand this year, now that I own an ostrich farm! {places a large egg on the counter}

COACH Z: Boy, I'll say! And these piña coladas are torp nortch! {Coach Z produces a similarly large egg that has been cracked with its top missing, and an umbrella, straw, and cherry sticking out of it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hey there say there, Bubs!

BUBS: Happy Halloween, Homestar!

COACH Z: Yeah! And I'm standing here!

{beat}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Just the essentials tonight, just the essentials. Lemme get a, uh, 50 gallon drum of bleach...

BUBS: {produces a storage drum} Check.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: ...and a 50 gallon drum of saw blades...

BUBS: {produces another} Sounds good.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: ...and a 50 gallon drum of body bags.

BUBS: {produces a third drum} Reasonable.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {in his mind} Boy, Homestar, you've got this. These guys don't expect a thing! Just order these last few everyday items and we're in the clear! {aloud, sweating, and growing more nervous by the second} Um... I need a... twelve pack of cold ones, and um... a dozen maple Bismarcks I DON'T KNOW WHAT BISMARCKS ARE I KILLED POM POM!

BUBS: Simmer down Homestar, it's all right! We've all made, quote unquote, mistakes.

COACH Z: Yeah, who hasn't slipped up and engaged in a little, quote unquote, pre-meditated murder in cold blood? Am I right?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: So what do I do now?

BUBS: You need to establish an alibi!

COACH Z: Yeah, with witnesses! And if ya's can swing it, wetnesses!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay, I can do that, I can do that, I can do that, I can do that, I can do that—

BUBS: Homestar!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yep, sorry, got it, peow!

BUBS: Good kid, that Homestar... should we light 'em up?

COACH Z: Absalortly!

{Coach Z and Bubs launch their eggs. Cut to the King of Town's castle. The Poopsmith and the King Of Town are standing out front.}

KING OF TOWN: {as though a whiny teenager} Gah, I keep telling you Poopsmith, I didn't do it, stop acting like my dad!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {talking into a "burner phone", which is really just a piece of cardboard with a keypad and a square with "BURNER" drawn on it} What? Yeah, I've been here all the live-long day. At the KOT's castle, or as I like to call it, alibi city. Who? Pom Pom? Never heard of him! Sounds like someone who's still alive, though. Okay corroborating witness, bye! Click!

KING OF TOWN: Ahem!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh! Hey Can Of Town, Tootsmith, you guys hear that legitimate conversation I was just having? So legitimate.

KING OF TOWN: So you've been here at the castle all day?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yep! Right here! Innocent as charged!

KING OF TOWN: Ah-ha! I told you I didn't eat your pile of whatsit! It was him!

{Zoom out to show Homestar standing in what is left of the whatsit pile. The Poopsmith's shovel is behind him.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh crap... literal crap...

{The Poopsmith turns the dial on his helmet to "4" and raises his claw-hand menacingly.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ah! Objection! Leading the witness! {runs off}

{Cut to The Basement. Strong Bad, Strong Mad, The Cheat, and Pom Pom are sitting around.}

STRONG BAD: ...and he totally thinks the inflatable pumpkin is you, Pom Pom!

POM POM: {bubbles}

STRONG BAD: He also tried to get its phone number, which is more than a little weird.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {from offscreen} Unckie Strong Bad, I need more help!

STRONG BAD: Pom Pom, quick, hide!

POM POM: {bubbles}

{Pom Pom ducks behind the couch as Homestar walks in.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Things have gone downhill! Not only did I murder Pom Pom, but now it's on record that I ate fifteen hundred pounds of crap.

STRONG MAD: {laughs}

THE CHEAT: {laughs}

STRONG BAD: {laughing} Oh ho, stifle a laugh. Well, you know what you gotta do now, don't you?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I will literally do whatever comes out of that sweet rectangular mouth next.

STRONG BAD: Uh, in that case, you gotta... get us sixteen dozen maple bismarcks.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Done!

{Cut to the basement filled with pastries.}

STRONG BAD: These are kolaches, I said bismarks!

{Cut to the basement filled with different pastries.}

STRONG BAD: {eating} Now that's more like it! Now you gotta find a patsy and pin that murder on him like a corsage on a puffy-dressed prom date!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You mean like with a lot of blood and them going, "Ow, ow, Homestar, ow, quit it, I'm not going to prom with you anymore! And I hate Bennigan's!"

STRONG BAD: Yeah, something like that. Now go stash Pom Pom's body at their house!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: But who I'm supposed to pin this murder on?

STRONG BAD: The most unsuspecting saps you can find...

{Cut to Marzipan's house. Strong Sad is sitting on the couch.}

STRONG SAD: {hisses}

{Marzipan walks in.}

MARZIPAN: Hey Strong Sad, there's a bad horror movie on. Wanna make snappy comments and obscure references while we watch it?

STRONG SAD: You know I can't see, I just drew these eyes on my hands.

MARZIPAN: Why don't you just take your hands down?

STRONG SAD: {nervously} Uh, because I may have also sorta super-glued my eyes shut...

MARZIPAN: What?

STRONG SAD: For authenticity! {He moves his hands aside. His eyes are not visible at all.} I was trying to be a cosplay-donnaire!

MARZIPAN: That's a word you just made up!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {entering} Ah-ha! I knew you two were up to something!

STRONG SAD: Ahh, cosplay-dang!

MARZIPAN: Okay, I admit it! My homeade cabucha is just apple cider vinegar with Strong Sad's... phlugus floating in it.

STRONG SAD: My secret shame slash finest hour!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Don't play games with me, you murdered Pom Pom! {Cut back to reveal that the pumpkin is stuffed in Marzipan's couch cushions.} You stuffed his body right here under the couch all day probably, {taps the pumpkin with a baton} since you murdered him.

MARZIPAN: This again?

{A loud sound suddenly emanates.}

STRONG SAD: I hear a yonder ruckus!

{Cut to the field, The King Of Town, The Poopsmith, Bubs, and Coach Z come in.}

KING OF TOWN: Gah, what's all this noise? It's so lame!

COACH Z: What's the what's the scenario?

{Pom Pom appears behind a bush.}

STRONG SAD: Look! A specter rises!

{Strong Mad and The Cheat throw Pom Pom into the air}

STRONG BAD: Oh no, Homestar! It's Pom Pom's ghost come back to haunt you! Don't you want to, you know, pee your pants, or do something else embarrassing while all these people are here?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: No way Unkie- {runs into the bottom point of Strong Bad's costume} Ow! Sharp... No way Unkie Strong Bad, you guys have shown me the light! It's time to fight murder with murder! {Homestar breaks the point off of Strong Bad's chin}

STRONG BAD: No, wait!

{Homestar jumps up and throws the point at Pom Pom. Pom Pom explodes in a blinding flash of light and whatever was left of him floats to the ground.}

STRONG BAD: Homestar, that wasn't a ghost! That was actually him! You just... you... you...

ALL: You killed Pom Pom!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uhh, duh!

{The "I Killed Pom Pom" title card comes up again, which changes into card reading Next Season}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {narrating over the title card.} Next season on Homestar Runner dot com...

{Cut to the field, Homestar, dressed in his normal attire, is standing next to the inflatable pumpkin.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Dang inflatable pumpkin, you're a way better best friend than floaty old Pom Pom ever was.

{The pumpkin suddenly deflates. Pom Pom appears from behind it, having been crudely reassembled. He is brandishing the same piece of Strong Bad's costume that popped him and has an angry expression.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ahh!

{cut to a title card, which shows Homestar cut in two, reading "I Killed Hometar." This fades into the cast standing in the field.}

Easter Eggs

• Click on the Poopsmith's shovel after he intimidates Homestar to see a scene with Homsar:

{Cut to the field, where Homsar is standing. Homestar runs past.}

HOMSAR: Ahhh. If you need me, I'll be loped after dark.

• At the end, click on Bubs:

STRONG BAD: Can't stand it, Cochese, I know you planned it.

BUBS: Imma set it straight, this Watergate!

{the fisheye lens sound effect plays as Bubs bulges outward in a fisheye distortion.}

• At the end, click on Strong Bad:

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey Strong Bad, I really like your Jay Leno costume. That guy had a really pointy forehead.

STRONG BAD: Nah, come on, don't you remember? {signing} Oh its a good time for large headed monstrosities. Oh! To sell you cheeseburgers. Hey! Strong Bad tonight!

• At the end, click on Homestar:

STRONG SAD: {laughing} Hey Homestar, where does the dark lord Sauron live again?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What you talking about like Mordor? The land of Mordor? Where the shadows lie?

STRONG SAD: {laughing} Yeah, and uh, what illegal act did you commit against Pom Pom again?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, you mean murder?

STRONG SAD: {laughs}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You know come to think about it, there's a lot of murder in Mordor. Orcs murdering wargs, wargs murdering orcs, {uniteligible mumbling. Homestar coughs up some candy and starts talking in a deeper, extremely human-like voice.} Excuse me, orcs murdering wargs in the land of Mordor. Heh heh, thats better.

STRONG SAD: Ahh!

• At the end, click on Coach Z:

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey Coach Z, you really nailed that Evil Aquafresh costume.

COACH Z: {rapping} Back in the days on the boulevard in London, we used the corporate teens, and the prices was fortin'

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ew, maybe you were fortin'.

• At the end, click on Strong Mad:

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey Strong Mad, I really like your muscle toys costume. I had a bunch of those little pink guys. I played with 'em in the sandbox... till that cat started pooping in there.

STRONG MAD: I'M A BABALITY.

• At the end, click on Pom Pom:

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey Pom Pom, I really like your Dom DeLuise costume. I definitely know why that guy was famous! Boatniks? He was in The Boatniks maybe? Can I get a boatnik?

STRONG SAD: Boatnik!

Fun Facts

Explanations

• A burner phone is a prepaid phone generally used to conduct illegal business, with the intent being to not have the phone be able to be tracked back to the owner.
• Cosplay is a form of costumed role-playing that is strongly associated with Anime and comic culture.
• A concubine is a woman who lives with, and has a relationship with, a man to whom she is not, and cannot be, married. Typically, she is of a lower class than the man and his wives.
• A babality are a feature in Mortal Kombat working like the Fatalities, only the other player is turned into a baby.

Trivia

• This is the longest Homestar Runner toon to date.

Remarks

• Marzipan was dressed as Anton Chigurh from No Country for Old Men in the Halloween Safety teaser. This was confirmed with the Sketchbook and Quote of the Week released the same day as the toon. This is the first time a character other than Strong Bad has worn a Halloween costume that didn't match their silhouette in the teaser.

Inside References

• Strong Bad speculated the results of Pom Pom's death in pom pom, regarding how Pom Pom would die if he was popped and on fire at the time of his death.
  • Even earlier, Strong Bad also pretended that Homestar killed Pom Pom during Where's The Cheat?
• The King of Town's alleged consumption of whatsit was previously referenced in fan club, where he consumed the pile.

Real-World References

• Homestar's line "It all started 117 days ago" is referring to the interview in which the Matt Chapman alluded to a return to creating more cartoons. 117 days previous from Halloween was July 5, 2014, which is presumably the day that Matt and Jeff Ruben conducted the interview that was released on July 7th.
• Homsar's Easter egg refers to Lōc-ed After Dark, 1989 album by Tone Loc.
• Strong Bad and Bubs' dialogue in Bubs' Easter egg consists of lyrics from "Sabotage", a song by the Beastie Boys.
  • Bubs' costume is a reference to the music video for the same song.
• Aquafresh is a brand of toothpaste manufactured by GlaxoSmithKline. The toothpaste itself has three colored stripes in it, one white, one red, and one aqua.
• "Mack the Knife" is the current name for a song that was written in 1928 by Kurt Weill and Bertolt Brecht for their musical The Threepenny Opera. The song later became a pop standard and was recorded by many singers, with the most successful version recorded by Bobby Darin. McDonald's later used a rewritten version of the song for its "Mac Tonight" advertising campaign, hence Strong Bad's costume.
• Dom DeLuise was an American comedian and actor. Homestar's remark to Pom Pom calls reference to DeLuise's usual wearing of a white hat similar to the one Pom Pom is wearing.
• M.U.S.C.L.E was the American name for a line of Japanese toys released in the 1980s. Homestar confuses Strong Mad with Muscle Man, its lead character.
• Mordor is a fictional land in The Lord of the Rings, a three volume fantasy novel written by J.R.R. Tolkien and published in 1954 and 1955. Sauron is the title character of the novel and films based on it.
• Kolache and Bismarcks are popular baked goods in Europe. A kolache is a pasty consisting of a fruit filling surrounded by pastry while a Bismarck, or Berliner as it is correctly known, is a treat similar to a doughnut.
• The rap Coach Z is trying to perform is "Check the Rhime" by A Tribe Called Quest. The actual line is "Back in the days on the boulevard of Linden, We used to kick routines and presence was fittin'".

External Links

• watch "I Killed Pom Pom" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "I Killed Pom Pom"
• watch "I Killed Pom Pom" on YouTube
• forum thread re: "I Killed Pom Pom"