Homestar Runner Goes for the Gold
From Homestar Runner Wiki
- This article is about the toon. For the book, see Homestar Runner Goes For The Gold!.
Homestar and Strong Bad find an old discarded script for another children's book.
Cast (In order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Pom Pom, Mr. Bland, Strong Mad, Strong Sad/Strong Glad, The Cheat, Dijjery-doo, The Announcer, Grape Fairy, The Sneak, Coach Z, Bubs
Places:
Date: Saturday, December 24, 2016 (actual); Friday, December 16, 2016 (main page)
Running Time: 6:24
Page Title: Unearthed and rebirthed!
Contents |
Transcript
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{Over a spooky-sounding chord, some text appears over a blue screen:
"20 years ago, two guys made this book:"
An image of Homestar Runner Enters the Strongest Man in the World Contest appears below it. After a few seconds, the text and book disappear, to be replaced with:
"A month later, they wrote the next Homestar Runner story,"
Which is followed with some pieces of notebook paper with the script on them, followed by
"and then promptly forgot about it."
Followed shortly by:
"Until now..."
Cut to Homestar Runner's house in silhouette, with a shed behind it. Homestar and Strong Bad leave the house and head toward the shed.}
{Zoom in full to the shed with Homestar Runner and Strong Bad}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, man, Strong Bad. You're not gonna believe this thing! {opens the door of the shed and starts taking out a see-through box labelled with masking tape, "old H*R crap"} Wait 'till you see this thing! This thing is gonna change your life! Blow your mind! Wipe your nose!
STRONG BAD: Then shut the dang up and let's see it already!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay. Okay. Um... It's, um... It's right... Um... {starts looking nervous}
STRONG BAD: Homestar, did you ramble on so long that you forgot what you were going to show me?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Um, no. And furthermore, no. It was this... {pulls a shiny rubber burger out of the box} Squeakburger. {squeezes it twice} Burger burger!
STRONG BAD: Whoa, look at this! {He takes something out of the box; close-up revealing that it's a children's book called "homestar runner and the brothers strong". Blue text at the bottom reads "an unfinished second children's book by mike & craig".} "The Homestar Runner and the Brothers Strong"? "An unfinished second children's book by Mike and Craig"? {As he says the name's Mike and Craig, they are bleeped out; Mike's name is scribbled over with black, and Craig's name is pixelated}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, that's definitely not what I was lookin' for. That thing looks terrible!
STRONG BAD: Come on, let's read it right the dang now!
{Close-up on the book, which is now completely different; it depicts The Homestar Runner with a whistle next to a strange submarine}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: "The Homestar Runner and the Bathyscaphe". {seductive tone} "A Lurid Tale of Underwater Intrigue and Underwater Pants".
{Cloud transition back to Homestar and Strong Bad}
STRONG BAD: Uh, maybe I should read it. {cut back to the unaltered book} "The Homestar Runner and the Brothers Strong". {the title of the book changes to match what Strong Bad says} A.K.A. "Homestar Runner Goes for the Gold". A.K.A. "old glue turns gross and brown {arrows appear, pointing to the brown glue on the fabric Homestar Runner} if you let it sit for 20 years".
{The image changes to a cartoon rendering of the cover, with The Homestar Runner posing against golden stars.}
STRONG BAD: {reading} Everyone loves The Homestar Runner. He is a terrific athelete.
THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: {moves upwards} Ding!
{Next page, showing a "Triathlon Tomorrow! Go for the Gold!" poster on a telephone pole.}
STRONG BAD: Tomorrow is the annual triathlon. {Cut to Pom Pom, The Homestar Runner, and Mr. Bland practicing; Pom Pom is twirling himself on two hanging rings, Mr. Bland is doing chin-ups, and The Homestar Runner is standing with a whistle around his neck.} Homestar Runner's team, the All-Stars, {says name sluggishly; the words slump down on the page; The Homestar Runner looks surprised} is practicing as we speak.
THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Whistle hard, Pom Pom! {whistles several times} Come on guys! {whistles more} Whistle to the max! {whistles more}
{Cut to Strong Bad, Strong Bad, and Strong Sad near the extremely expensive jambox. A sign nearby says "Hot Team Meeting".}
STRONG BAD: The Homestar Runner's rivals, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and Strong Sad {again, says name sluggishly, causing it to slump down on the page} are having a hot team meeting.
TINY-HANDED STRONG BAD: Strong Sad, you are too weak. You must be replaced by... {The Cheat comes onscreen and makes triumphant noises} Diggery-Doo!
THE CHEAT: {annoyed The Cheat noises}
{Diggery-Doo, a bizarre brown animal with tusks, comes onscreen. Cut back to modern-day Homestar Runner and Strong Bad.}
STRONG BAD: Who the crap is Diggery-Doo?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I tried to warn ya! I wash my hands of this whole affair!
STRONG BAD: Well, I guess he looks kinda cool. Maybe he'll turn out alright.
Easter Eggs
Fun Facts
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Real World References
- Homestar quotes lyrics from "Blackbird" by The Beatles, "Fly to the Angels" by Slaughter, and "Sister Christian" by Night Ranger when asking Strong Sad to replace Mr. Bland.
External Links
- watch "Homestar Runner Goes for the Gold" on the old Flash site
- view the Flash file for "Homestar Runner Goes for the Gold"
