Homestar Ruiner Responses (House of Strong)

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These are the responses you get after clicking an item in the House of Strong.

Contents

Computer Room

Floppy Disks

STRONG BAD: That's where I keep disks one through twenty four of all my favorite games.

No Loafing Sign

STRONG BAD: I put up that sign, but the stupid walls are still loafing all the time.

Stooly

STRONG BAD: Ah, my trusty steed. Stooly, I'd ride you into email battle any day.

Calendar (start of game)

STRONG BAD: Today's the day I finally give Homestar his long overdue pummeling.

Light Switch

STRONG BAD: Intriguing.

STRONG BAD: Not so intruguing.

Rave Switch

STRONG BAD: {first time only} Check this out!
{Camera zooms in and out, light effects and sound clip from techno play}
STRONG BAD: Ahhh, I sometimes get tired of that.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, I'm definitely tired of that.

Plug

STRONG BAD: I can't unplug the Lappy. It takes five to seven business days to fully charge the battery. Lappy don't charge on weekends.

Tutorial

Tutorial Opening

STRONG BAD: {singing} Time to check the email. The email! The email! The email!
STRONG BAD: {ominious music} Oh no! The lappy is missing!
STRONG BAD: Hi folks. My name is Strong Bad. You may remember me as pretty much the coolest guy or sandwich ever '98, or the fellow what stole your girlfriend.
STRONG BAD: Welcome to the required by video game law tutorial portion of my awesome video game.
STRONG BAD: {ominous music} It seems as though someone has stolen my state of the art laptop computer, and you, yes you, need to help me find out who.
STRONG BAD: Ok, let's take a look around my computer room. Move your cursor around various items of interest in the room and click the left mouse button. I'll check them out as you do.

Computer disks

STRONG BAD: Yeah, those are my old computer games. They don't even work on the Lappy, but I keep them around so that people know how cool I am for keeping them around.

STRONG BAD: Seriously, those are not important right now.

Missing Lappy

STRONG BAD: Oh man, could that be a clue in the area where my laptop computer used to be? I wish I could somehow see it bigger.

STRONG BAD: Hmm. How can I see that purple smudge bigger?

Magnifying glass

STRONG BAD: I totally stole this from my nerdy little brother Strong Sad. Man that guy is such a whiney baby. He's probably crying over losing it right now.
STRONG BAD: Ok, this is an item that I am going to keep. That means that it's going into my "inventory", or "collection of surprising useful useless crap." To see the stuff in my inventory, just click on the inventory icon in the upper left of the screen. It's the one that's blinking, but don't think about using it until I'm done talking! What were you, raised in a click-on-stuff-while-cool-people-are-still-talking barn?
STRONG BAD: Anyway, when the inventory is open, click the magnifying glass icon. Your cursor, formerly a dot, will become the magnifying glass. Then just point and click on things you want to use the magnifying glass on. It's like, super easy man.

Magnifying glass → Missing Lappy

STRONG BAD: Ah ha! I'd recognize that pudgy, grape jelly stained fingerprint anywhere! It belongs to — {ominous music} Dun dun dunnnnnn! My little brother Strong Sad! Let's go across the hall into his room and unethically interrogate him.

Tutorial Notes

  • The normal light switch cannot be interacted with.
  • Attempting to leave the room before inspecting the missing laptop with the magnifying glass results in:
STRONG BAD: I'm not leaving here until I get a clue about who stole the Lappy.

Strong Sad's Room

Strong Sad's Door

{first time}
STRONG BAD: Hey Strong Sad! You in there?
STRONG SAD: Yes!
STRONG BAD: C'mon, lemme in! I just wanna punch you a few hundred times!
STRONG SAD: Not interested.

{second time}
STRONG BAD: C'mon Strong Sad, I've got your favorite food, some nasty ethnic food!
STRONG SAD: I don't believe in favoring one food over another.

{each time thereafter}
STRONG BAD: Strong Sad Raymond Jenkins, you open this door right now or I'll— I'll— I'll—
STRONG SAD: You'll what?
STRONG BAD: Oh, we'll just wait until your father gets home and see what he says!
STRONG SAD: You're not even my real mom!
STRONG BAD: Fine. I didn't want to go in your purple room of doom and gloom anyway!

Tutorial

When entering the room

STRONG SAD: Strong Bad, get outta here! I'm trying to get ready for the 19th century Scotland Yard LARP festival, and I can't find my authentic Sherlock Holmes magnifying glass!
STRONG BAD: That whiney sack of gray dump over there is Strong Sad. Clicking on him means you want me to talk to him. You'll see a bunch of stuff appear over my head. They represent topics I can talk about. Let's try talking to him about his own miserable self first.

Strong Sad

STRONG BAD: Hey little brother...
STRONG SAD: Yes?
STRONG BAD: {first time only} Click on the picture of Strong Sad's ugly face in the bubble above my head.

Strong Sad → Strong Sad

STRONG BAD: {first time only} {to the audience} Sometimes when talking to people, I can choose between saying something nice, and saying something that I would say. Choose the angel me to say something nice, or the devil me to be more of a jerk.

Strong Sad → Strong Sad → Angel

STRONG BAD: Nice hat. It distracts people from your grotesquely bulbous midsection.
STRONG SAD: It's a tweed deerstalker hat!
STRONG BAD: I am sure that it is.
STRONG BAD: {to the audience} Ok, enough chit chat, let's shake him down about my stolen laptop!

Strong Sad → Strong Sad → Devil

STRONG BAD: You are ugly and you smell like old feet!
STRONG SAD: I don't even know what old feet smell like.
STRONG BAD: Corn chips and medicated creamsA
STRONG SAD: Oh, you're right. I do.
STRONG BAD: {to the audience} Ok, enough chit chat, let's shake him down about my stolen laptop!

Strong Sad → Laptop

STRONG BAD: Where is my Lappy, you two-bit thief?
STRONG SAD: What? No, I told you I don't want to be part of your stupid tutorial!
STRONG BAD: If you want your magnifying glass back you will!
STRONG SAD: Fine. Give it back and I'll say my line.
STRONG BAD: {to the audience} To give my brother back his magnifying glass, just get it from your inventory and use it on him. Just like you did with the fingerprint in my computer room.

Magnifying glass → Strong Sad

STRONG BAD: Here's your nerd glass. Now, where's my Lappy?!
STRONG SAD: Thank you! {monotonously} I pawned your Lappy to Bubs so I could afford — do I have to say it? — {dejected} foot replacement surgery.
STRONG BAD: Well, you sure need it pal, but that's no reason to steal someone else's expensive high tech electronic styles! I need to get to Bubs'!
STRONG BAD: This is my map. It's what I use to get from point A to place B. You can access this map at any time by clicking the map icon in the top left part of the screen.
STRONG BAD: Yes, okay... my map is looking a little... undernourished. I need to throw Bubs' Concession stand up here somewheres. As I discover wondrous new places, I will add them to my map.
STRONG BAD: Simply point to a location and click it to travel there. Give it a try!

Strong Sad → Cancel

STRONG BAD: Nevermind.

Attempting to go downstairs

STRONG BAD: That goes downstairs. We won't be going down there in this tutorial.

STRONG BAD: Hey! Stay focused, man!

Kitchen

Dead Plant

{first time}
STRONG BAD: This is Charlemagne, Strong Sad's plant. It used to be healthy, but after Strong Sad started talking to it, it decided to kill itself!
STRONG SAD: That's not true!
STRONG BAD: That's not what the note said!

{each time thereafter}
STRONG BAD: It's Strong Sad's suicidal plant.

Fridge

STRONG BAD: Hit me witcha best foodshot, fridge o' mine! {opens fridge} The only thing in here is some paleolithic Fluffy Puff Mayonnaise. Looks like some-fat-body needs to go to the store.
STRONG SAD: It was my turn last time!

STRONG BAD: Eww, that Mayonnaise is so old, it's expiration date is chiseled on a stone tablet.

STRONG BAD: I think they say that once it turns a light grey, it's safe to eat again.

Microwave

STRONG BAD: I cant use the WavyMic, its door's stuck shut with nacho entrails and mangled action figures.

Dishes

STRONG BAD: I'll do the dishes once our skeet shooty flinger gets fixed.

Living Room

Melonade

STRONG BAD: You've gotta see it when Strong Mad shotguns one of these things.

See Dee Spinner

Window

Strong Bad's Room

7 Track Player

STRONG BAD: Ah, the short lived 7 Track. Your lack of a play button was your undoing.

Messy Pile

STRONG BAD: It's possible that my bed's under there, but I'm not touching it to find out.

STRONG BAD: I sent some Sherpas in there a few weeks ago, but they never reported back.

Metal Detector

STRONG BAD: All right, the Taranchula Black Metal Detector! I had to sell, like, 500 magazine subscriptions to get this baby. But it was totally worth it to be able to shoot radioactive positrons into the Earth's crust in search of rusty pennies!

Videlectrix Poster

Fun Machine

Laundry Room

Washer/Dryer

STRONG BAD: Only Strong Sad seems to know the secrets to these mysterious mechanical devices.

Dryer with The Cheat Inside

STRONG BAD: How you doing in there, The Cheat?
THE CHEAT: (Angry The Cheat noises)
STRONG BAD: Hey! Do you kiss your hot mom with that mouth?!?

Pennants

STRONG BAD: Those are pennants from various academic institutions, unaccredited and discredited alike.

Basement

Couch

STRONG BAD: Keep on keepin' my butt print warm for me couch.

Trogdor Arcade Game

STRONG BAD: I can't play Trogdor until SOMEONE gets off their pasty white butt and fixes the joystick.
STRONG SAD: {muffled} I'm workin' on it! But the parts are on back order!

TV

Outside

Mail Box

Box

Personal tools