Homestar Ruiner Responses (House of Strong)
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:'''STRONG SAD:''' (Sigh)... ''{leaves scene}'' | :'''STRONG SAD:''' (Sigh)... ''{leaves scene}'' | ||
===Treasure Marker=== | ===Treasure Marker=== | ||
| + | ====Treasure Marker==== | ||
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, there's buried treasure just outside my front door! I hope it's a bubblin' crude. | :'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, there's buried treasure just outside my front door! I hope it's a bubblin' crude. | ||
| + | ====Shovel → Treasure Marker==== | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, front yard, hit me with your best shot! ''{digs}'' ''{finds a page of the Snake Boxer 5 manual}'' | ||
== Strong Bad Emails == | == Strong Bad Emails == | ||
Revision as of 04:28, 22 August 2008
Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from House of Strong in Homestar Ruiner.
On these pages, A → B (right arrow) means that the response happens when object A is used on thing B, or in the case of talking to other characters, the indicated sequence of chat topic icons are chosen.
A short horizontal line between two or more responses, such as the one above, means only one of the responses is heard at a time, and that the action results in a different response each time it occurs.
Contents |
Basement
Couch
- STRONG BAD: Keep on keepin' my butt print warm for me couch.
Trogdor Arcade Game
- STRONG BAD: I can't play Trogdor until someone gets off their pasty white butt and fixes the joystick.
- STRONG SAD: {muffled} I'm workin' on it! But the parts are on back order!
Television
- Before Homestar's arrival
- STRONG BAD: Hey, it's that infomercial for the Ab-Abber 2000. It claims you can get a 9-pack in less than 40 scribbles a day!
- STRONG BAD: Hey! It's the Laugh Trackalicious Adventures of Guy and Girlfriend! Oh, this is the one where Guy thinks he kills Girlfriend's hamster and tries to replace it with another hamster but the first hamster had been dead all along so Girlfriend thinks it came back to life and then the hilarity— and the humor— and the original comedy television writing!
- When Homestar is present, first time
- STRONG BAD: Time for a few hours of retina frying entertainment!
- HOMESTAR: Don't touch that dial!
- STRONG BAD: Why not?
- HOMESTAR: Look!
- TELEVISION ANNOUNCER: Have you seen this, um, man? He was last seen streaking out of Coach Z's locker room, naked as the day he was born.
- COACH Z: {on television} It all happened so fast... one minute I was definitely not just standing around by myself, and the next thing I knew there was this high-pitched scream!
- KING OF TOWN: {on television} Of course I screamed. Who wouldn't scream at the sight of all that pruny, shower-fresh flesh barreling right towards your moustache!
- TELEVISION ANNONCER: The King of Town has issued an all-points bulletin for the mysterious nudenik, and sealed the negatives of this incriminating security photo in his castle's Hall of Records for further study.
- KING OF TOWN: Studying is fun!
- TELEVISION ANNOUNCER: In the meantime— {continues in the background}
- HOMESTAR: See? I'll never be able to show my face in public as long as I've got a criminal record at the King of Town's Hall of Records!
- STRONG BAD: Actually, I don't think it's your face you should be worried about showing.
- HOMESTAR: Oh, you mean my feet? Yeah, they are pretty big.
- When Homestar is present, each time thereafter
- HOMESTAR: Don't change the channel! I'm tracking the progress of my very own personal pan-natiowide manhunt!
- STRONG BAD: More like nationwide GET OFF MY COUCH!
- HOMESTAR: Yeah, no.
Homestar Runner
Homestar → Television
- {First time only}
- STRONG BAD: Can we watch something a little less... yokel than local news?
- HOMESTAR: No way, man! I need to keep up-to-date on all the details of my scandalous downfall and nationwide manhunt!
- STRONG BAD: Dude, it's a public nudity charge. I've done more scandalous things while buying a pair of brown and tan socks.
- HOMESTAR: Look, there I am again! Oh the shame!
- STRONG BAD: So, just to be sure, there's no way I'm gonna talk you off of this couch, right?
- HOMESTAR: Not until I'm no longer a wanted criminal.
Computer Room
Floppy Disks
- STRONG BAD: That's where I keep disks one through twenty four of all my favorite games.
No Loafing Sign
- STRONG BAD: I put up that sign, but the stupid walls are still loafing all the time.
Stooly
- STRONG BAD: Ah, my trusty steed. Stooly, I'd ride you into email battle any day.
Calendar
- Start of game
- STRONG BAD: Today's the day I finally give Homestar his long overdue pummeling.
- After visiting the Track for the first time
- STRONG BAD: Today's the day I finally give Homestar his long overdue pummelling... in that Race to the End of the Race thing.
Light Switch
- STRONG BAD: {Strong Bad turns the lights off, and then back on} Intriguing.
- STRONG BAD: {Strong Bad turns the lights off, and then back on} Not so intruguing.
Rave Switch
- STRONG BAD: {first time only} Check this out!
- {Camera zooms in and out, light effects and sound clip from techno play}
- STRONG BAD: Ahhh, I sometimes get tired of that.
- {Strong Bad plays another techno rave}
- STRONG BAD: Yeah, I'm definitely tired of that.
Plug
- STRONG BAD: I can't unplug the Lappy. It takes five to seven business days to fully charge the battery. Lappy don't charge on weekends.
Tutorial
Tutorial Opening
- STRONG BAD: {singing} Time to check the email. The email! The email! The email!
- STRONG BAD: {ominious music} Oh no! The lappy is missing!
- STRONG BAD: Hi folks. My name is Strong Bad. You may remember me as pretty much the coolest guy or sandwich ever '98, or the fellow what stole your girlfriend.
- STRONG BAD: Welcome to the required by video game law tutorial portion of my awesome video game.
- STRONG BAD: {ominous music} It seems as though someone has stolen my state of the art laptop computer, and you, yes you, need to help me find out who.
- STRONG BAD: Ok, let's take a look around my computer room. Move your cursor around various items of interest in the room and click the left mouse button. I'll check them out as you do.
Computer disks
- STRONG BAD: Yeah, those are my old computer games. They don't even work on the Lappy, but I keep them around so that people know how cool I am for keeping them around.
- STRONG BAD: Seriously, those are not important right now.
Missing Lappy
- STRONG BAD: Oh man, could that be a clue in the area where my laptop computer used to be? I wish I could somehow see it bigger.
- STRONG BAD: Hmm. How can I see that purple smudge bigger?
Magnifying glass
- STRONG BAD: I totally stole this from my nerdy little brother Strong Sad. Man that guy is such a whiney baby. He's probably crying over losing it right now.
- STRONG BAD: Ok, this is an item that I am going to keep. That means that it's going into my "inventory", or "collection of surprising useful useless crap." To see the stuff in my inventory, just click on the inventory icon in the upper left of the screen. It's the one that's blinking, but don't think about using it until I'm done talking! What were you, raised in a click-on-stuff-while-cool-people-are-still-talking barn?
- STRONG BAD: Anyway, when the inventory is open, click the magnifying glass icon. Your cursor, formerly a dot, will become the magnifying glass. Then just point and click on things you want to use the magnifying glass on. It's like, super easy man.
Magnifying glass → Missing Lappy
- STRONG BAD: Ah ha! I'd recognize that pudgy, grape jelly stained fingerprint anywhere! It belongs to — {ominous music} Dun dun dunnnnnn! My little brother Strong Sad! Let's go across the hall into his room and unethically interrogate him.
Tutorial Notes
- The normal light switch cannot be interacted with.
- Attempting to leave the room before inspecting the missing laptop with the magnifying glass results in:
- STRONG BAD: I'm not leaving here until I get a clue about who stole the Lappy.
Homestar Runner
When Strong Bad walks near
- HOMESTAR: Oh the pain...
- HOMESTAR: Does despair have one G, or two?
- HOMESTAR: Oh hi Strong Bad... {sighs}
- HOMESTAR: {sighs}
Homestar → Homestar
- STRONG BAD: All right, Homestar, it's time for you to go. There's no room in the Housr of Strong for crybabies.
- HOMESTAR: What about Strong Sad?
- STRONG SAD: I'm not a crybaby, I'm tormented!
- STRONG BAD: Okay, there's room for one crybaby in the House of Strong, and that position's been filled. Out you go!
- HOMESTAR: No way. I'm not leaving until my life is back to the wonderful way it used to be.
- STRONG BAD: Guess what, Homestar! Everything's all better again!
- HOMESTAR: Prove it.
Game Intro Song
- {over the course of singing the song, Strong Bad walks through the house, starting asleep on the couch in the basement, and finishing upstairs sitting in front of the Lappy in the computer room}
- STRONG BAD: Rhino... Rhino Feeder... oh, {vigorous head shaking noise} I was dreaming about... muffins.
- STRONG BAD: {half singing} I wake up every morning feeling awesome. Even though I slept on the remote again last night— ow! {kicks The Cheat into the dryer}
- THE CHEAT: {the cheat noise}
- STRONG BAD: Time to tear up another day, the Strong Bad freakin' way!
- STRONG BAD: Like an imploding star, like a burning car, my style shines so bright!
- {high fives Strong Mad}
- STRONG BAD: {singing} Please, stop trying, to handle my style. 'Cause you can't, no you can't, {grunts} handle my style.
- {Throws box of cereal at Strong Sad}
- STRONG BAD: Seriously, quit trying to handle my style. Unless you are a lady, then you're cordially invited to have a giant slice of my styyyyyle!
Kitchen
Dead Plant
- {first time}
- STRONG BAD: This is Charlemagne, Strong Sad's plant. It used to be healthy, but after Strong Sad started talking to it, it decided to kill itself!
- STRONG SAD: That's not true!
- STRONG BAD: That's not what the note said!
- {each time thereafter}
- STRONG BAD: It's Strong Sad's suicidal plant.
Fridge
- STRONG BAD: Hit me witcha best food shot, fridge o' mine! {opens fridge} The only thing in here is some paleolithic Fluffy Puff Mayonnaise. Looks like someFATbody needs to go to the store.
- STRONG SAD: It was my turn last time!
- STRONG BAD: Eww, that mayonnaise is so ancient, its expiration date is chiseled on a stone tablet.
- {not at start of game}
- STRONG BAD: I think they say that once it turns a light grey, it's safe to eat again.
Microwave
- STRONG BAD: I cant use the WavyMic, its door's stuck shut with nacho entrails and mangled action figures.
Dishes
- STRONG BAD: I'll do the dishes once our skeet shooty flinger gets fixed.
Homestar → Chefs Hat
- {first time}
- STRONG BAD: What's with all the cooking?
- HOMESTAR: The Cheat told me that the way to a woman's heart is through her stomach, so I'm endeavoring to prepare a scrumptious confection to win back Marzipan's a-love.
- STRONG BAD: Sounds like a plan. How's it going?
- HOMESTAR: Not so good. Marzipan's vegan and most of the food in here contains meat, milk, milky meat, or ...meaty milk?
- STRONG BAD: Hey, don't be dissin' my meaty milk!
- {each time thereafter}
- STRONG BAD: Any closer to finishing off that make-up candy for Marzipan?
- HOMESTAR: No. I'm starting to think it's all hopeless.
- STRONG BAD: Hmm, maybe Dr. Strong Bad can write a prescription to cure Homestar's broken heart. A candy prescription. For Marzipan. To eat.
Jela-ton™
- STRONG BAD: Hey now, what's this? {Strong Bad takes and reads note from crate}
- COACH Z: {voiceover} Dear Homestar, even though you thoroughly disgraced yourself at the Race to the End of the Race, rules are rules. Please enjoy this lifetime supply of Fluffy-Puff Jela-Ton™, the official second place prize of the F-C-U-T-R-E-R. Yours truly, Coach Z. PS Never show your giant face around my track ever again!
- STRONG BAD: Hmm. Homestar'll probably feel a lot better if I get rid of this unpleasant reminder of his humiliating defeat. I know I'll feel a lot better — I love Jela-Ton.
Laundry Room
Washer/Dryer
- STRONG BAD: Only Strong Sad seems to know the secrets to these mysterious mechanical devices.
The Cheat
- STRONG BAD: Hey! Look at that thing, over there.
- THE CHEAT: Mehr me meh me?
- {Strong Bad kicks The Cheat into the dryer}
- STRONG BAD: Holy pixelated Trogdor, what's that?
- THE CHEAT: Me mihr?
- STRONG BAD: Hey, turn around.
- THE CHEAT: Wii?
Dryer with The Cheat Inside
- STRONG BAD: How you doing in there, The Cheat?
- THE CHEAT: Me-mehr mimimi me mehr mer, me meh!
- STRONG BAD: Hey! Do you kiss your hot mom with that mouth?!?
Pennants
- STRONG BAD: Those are pennants from various academic institutions, unaccredited and discredited alike.
Living Room
Melonade
- STRONG BAD: You've gotta see it when Strong Mad shotguns one of these things.
See Dee Spinner
- {music playing}
- STRONG BAD: Let's see what's in the ol' See Dee Spinner. {changes music} Uh. It's Strong Sad's copy of The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years.
- STRONG BAD: {changes music} Sounds like Coach Z has forced another one of his demos unto the world.
- STRONG BAD: I've had just about enough of that. Let's see what else is in there— {changes music} Oh joy, it's that copy of Jane's Austentacious Chamber Music Jam. I'd like to use this CD as a chamber pot.
- STRONG MAD: MISTER DARCY!!! {sniff}
- STRONG BAD: {changes music} Whoa, what's this? The Cheat's assorted Latin Rhythms?
- STRONG BAD: Enough with the music already! {changes back to original music}
Smoke Detector
- STRONG BAD: That smoke detector hasn't had a battery since that day I made Strong Sad eat a 9-volt Po'Boy.
Window
- STRONG BAD: Sometimes I like to stand in front of my window and start flexing in case a girls' volleyball team is walking by.
- STRONG BAD: I know it's hard to tell from this angle, but the view from here is awesome!
- STRONG BAD: You wouldn't think, since we're on the first floor and everything, but the drop-off from this window's like, 20 feet or something.
Luxa Lounger
- STRONG BAD: {reclines chair} The Luxa Lounger is even more comfortable in its "Ridiculously Overextended" mode.
- STRONG BAD: {unreclines chair} The Luxa Lounger is great lounging-based needs, but man does it take up a lot of real estate!
- STRONG BAD: {reclines chair} Luxa Lounger Powers, activate!
- STRONG BAD: {unreclines chair} Doodle-oot!
Plaque (horse)
- STRONG BAD: {reading plaque} "The lonelient goat sees the last sunset last" — that's a horse.
Plaque (dog)
- STRONG BAD: {reading plaque} "The Cheat, watch your freakin' back, Squeaky!" Man that's one intimidating hushpuppy.
Outside
Mail Box
- STRONG BAD: Checkin' my snail mail, checkin' my snail mail! Hmmm, what's this? I'm ready for the big heist! Those smoky red laser beams don't stand a chance when I'm in this get up!
- STRONG BAD: Hmm, I think I'll put it in my fancy schmancy transdimensional photo-booth wardrobe.
Mail Box (empty)
- STRONG BAD: It's empty now. On account of all the emptyin' I did earlier.
Pile of Dirt
- STRONG BAD: Oh nophers, we've got gophers.
- STRONG SAD: {pops out of the bushes} Actually, true gopher holes are more elliptical in nature, and—
- STRONG BAD: Yeah, it's gophers...
- STRONG SAD: (Sigh)... {leaves scene}
Treasure Marker
Treasure Marker
- STRONG BAD: Whoa, there's buried treasure just outside my front door! I hope it's a bubblin' crude.
Shovel → Treasure Marker
- STRONG BAD: All right, front yard, hit me with your best shot! {digs} {finds a page of the Snake Boxer 5 manual}
Strong Bad Emails
Beat Homestar?
- STRONG BAD: {singing} I'm gonna check my email, my email, my email. I'm gonna check my whaat?
subject: Beat Homestar?Dear Strong Bad, I've got a question: If you hate Homestar
so much, why dont you just beat the snot out of him? Are
you chicken or something?
Confused,
Eddie M., Frenchtown, CA.
- {Strong Bad pronounces "dont" as "dahnt", and "Confused" as "Confussed"}
- STRONG BAD: First of all, I don't think a Frenchy like yourself is in any position to be calling anyone "chicken", comprende-vous cordon bleu? {when typing Strong Bad omits the word "in" from the phrase "in any position"}
- {clears screen}
- STRONG BAD: Secondly, I'm pretty sure I don't want to beat the snot out of Homestar... I mean, have you ever listened to the guy? He's obviously got a lot of gunk up there. I could probably handle beating the tar, the stuffing, or the... into next-week out of him though.
- {Strong Bad steps away from the Lappy}
- STRONG BAD: I bet I could find Homestar down at Coach Z's track, running in place or something.
Pummelling?
subject: Pummelling?Dear Strong Bad: Is it true that you're going to be
beating the snot out of Homestar soon? Because I'd
like a piece of that action. Taking the under over,
Dan O'Meara, County Cork, Ireland.
- {Strong Bad pronounces the last name "Oooh Meeeera", and says "Country Crock" instead of "County Cork"}
- {when checking the email a second time}
- STRONG BAD: Oh yeah, beating the snot out of Homestar. I should probably get back to that someday.
Got Bulk?
subject: Got Bulk?Dear Mr. Strang L. Bod, Are you feeling athletically
inadequate? Is your six-pack more of a pony keg? Do your
muscles have less definition than a first grader's dictionary?
Then why not get on the Adonis train with a crate of TOTAL
LOAD TOTAL BODY FITNESS ENERGY ENHANCEMENT
POWDER!!! Totally Safe! Totally Organic!! Totally
Awesome!!! Order a free sample of TOTAL LOAD TOTAL
BODY FITNESS ENERGY ENHANCEMENT POWDER today,
and begin to TOTALLY TRANSFORM your body today!!!!Limit
one per customer.
- {Strong Bad reads his misspelled name as a question. After reading the product name the first time, he looks at the camera and says "Hey, this stuff sounds great!", and stops reading the email at that point}
- STRONG BAD: {typing as he speaks} Dear Total Load Peoples, Although I personally am endowed with bulging biceps that have been described as "bad boys," "pipes," and "thunder bludgeons," it never hurts to get a heroically chiseled leg up on the competition. Please send me a free sample of your wonderful product immediately. Grape flavor. Yours truly, Strong Bad.
- {when checking the email a second time}
- STRONG BAD: I probably can't get another free sample.
Your Head
subject: Your HeadDear Mr. Bad, MY BROTHER AND I WERE WONDERING
WHOSE HEAD IS BIGGER: yours or Homestar's?
Quizzically, Jay and Jim Rosen, Brookyln, NY.
- {shouts the capitalized part}
- STRONG BAD: Hmm, that's a good question. I should go do some field research.
- STRONG BAD: Hmm.
Hey There!
subject: Hey There!Hey there, every peoples! If you're one of the many bodies
watching the Race to the End of the Race today, why not
top if off with a vist to Bubs Concession Stand! We've got
candy bars, lawn mowers, ketchup, Egyptian artifacts, and
games for the kids! Look for our piles of coupons at the
track, good for one box of awesome free candy while
supplies last! Bubs Concession Stand - We've Got
Everything, Twice!
- STRONG BAD: Free, eh? I might be able to afford that...
- STRONG BAD: I never should've signed up for Bubs' Free Weekly Spamvertisements. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I never did.
Tie-Things
subject: Tie-ThingsHey Strtong Bad,
What's the deal with the little tie-things on
the backa your mask?
-Christine B
- {Pronounces "Strtong" as "Stir-tong"}
- STRONG BAD: More like Christine D+, as in you get one, in life! Y'know, I was gonna ask you something similar, Christine. What's the deal with that giant nose-thing on the front of your face?!
Total Load Confirmation
subject: Total Load ConfirmationDear Mr. Strang L Bod, THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST IN
TOTAL LOAD TOTAL BODY ENERGY ENHANCING POWDER!!!
A SAMPLE JAR OF TOTAL LOAD TOTAL BODY ENERGY
ENHANCING POWDER HAS BEEN SENT FROM OUR CENTRAL
WHEREHOUSE TO OUR LOCAL DISTRIBUTOR - BUBS C.
STAND. You will be notified by email when your totally
awesome jar of TOTAL LOAD TOTAL BODY ENERGY
ENHANCING POWDER arrives. Thanks you for your interest,
TOTAL LOAD TOTAL etc., INC.
- {Stresses the incorrectly plural word "Thanks"}
- STRONG BAD: Bubs distributes Total Load? Man, he carries everything!
Total Load Arrival
subject: Total Load ArrivalDear Mr. Strang L. Bod, WE'RE PLEASED TO INFORM YOU
THAT YOUR FREE SAMPLE SHIPMENT OF TOTAL LOAD
TOTAL BODY ENERGY ENHANCING POWDER HAS ARRIVED
FOUND ITS WAY TO OUT LOCAL DISTIRBUTOR - BUBS C.
STAND. And may be picked up at your convenience. Thanks
again fro your interest in TOTAL LOAD, TOTAL LOAD TOTAL
Etc., Inc.
- {Strong Bad ignores the extraneous word "arrived" on the third line, as well as the misspelled word "distirbutor"; He adds "whatever" at the end of the email, but makes no further comments}
Deleted
- STRONG BAD: Survey Says! — Deleted.
- STRONG BAD: Dee! Lee! Ted!
- STRONG BAD: Deleted!
- STRONG BAD: El Deleto Grande!
Undeleted
- STRONG BAD: Deteled! Thats... deleted backwards.
- STRONG BAD: Deleted no more!
- STRONG BAD: Delete, meet un!
- STRONG BAD: Undeleted!
Strong Bad's Room
Drawing Table (first time only)
- STRONG BAD: You know what I need to add some much-needed hooah! to my day? A little thing I like to call Teen Girl Squad!
- {after the mini-game}
- STRONG BAD: Man, I can never get enough of that Sassy, Injury-Prone Teen Girl Squad! The only thing that could possibly make their adventures even more unfortunate would be if I used those Really Cool Teen Girl Ideas I jotted down last night after a fried chicken pizza bender—
- {looks around the table}
- STRONG BAD: Hey, what happened to all my Really Cool Teen Girl Squad Ideas?
7 Track Player
- STRONG BAD: Ah, the short lived 7 Track. Your lack of a play button was your undoing.
Messy Pile
- STRONG BAD: It's possible that my bed's under there, but I'm not touching it to find out.
- STRONG BAD: I sent some Sherpas in there a few weeks ago, but they haven't reported back.
Metal Detector
- STRONG BAD: All right, the Taranchula Black Metal Detector! I had to sell, like, 500 magazine subscriptions to get this baby. But it was totally worth it to be able to shoot radioactive positrons into the Earth's crust in search of rusty pennies!
Videlectrix Poster
- STRONG BAD: {first time only} That's my Videlectrix Poster that I got for sending in ten bucks to become a member of the Videlectrix Good Graphicketeers!
- STRONG BAD: "Videlectrix — We Use Computers... to Make Video Games!" I don't know why no one else has thought of that...
Fun Machine
- STRONG BAD: Nothing like a little snake fisticuffs to clear the mind... {picks up controller} Ok, show me that logo! {singing} Do do dooo doo... DIII! Awesome, Snake Boxer 5! So much better than the unfortunate Snake Boxer 4: Lady Snake Parade.
- {after the mini-game}
- STRONG BAD: That was awesome! The only thing that could make Snake Boxer 5 even cooler is using that secret code to unlock the game's controversial hidden mode. It's a good thing I wrote down the code in the manual right— over— {looks around} Hey! who took my Snake Boxer 5 manual?
- STRONG BAD: Must. Punch. Snakes.
- STRONG BAD: Whoah! This game is already, like, 50 times cooler than Snake Boxer 2: The Biting of Boxer Joe!
- STRONG BAD: Snake Boxer 5 really put the series back on track. Especially after Snake Boxer 3: Solving Problems through Diplomacy.
When entering the room
- Only if Homestar is present
- {music}
- STRONG BAD: What? How? Huh? You were just—
- HOMESTAR: {sighs}
Homestar → Teen Girl Squad
- {first time}
- STRONG BAD: Put your hands up, and back away from the Teen Girl Squad, Homestar. We don't want this situation to escalate.
- HOMESTAR: Not yet, Strong Bad. I've got to finish my 23-Volume Epic Graphic Novel Zine about a Really Cool Guy who wins the {fanfare} Race to the End of the Race, and slays a dragon, and starts dating a supermodel and makes his old boring girlfriend jealous, and—
- STRONG BAD: Yeah, yeah, I get it. How long will it be before I can use my drawing table again?
- HOMESTAR: Oh it might be a while. I still haven't figured out what to call my Really Cool lead character.
- STRONG BAD: Grr...
- {second time}
- STRONG BAD: Are you done with your moron opus yet?
- HOMESTAR: I'm almost ready to start... what do you like better, "Goldstar Stunner" or Dash Bigstar"?
- {each time thereafter}
- STRONG BAD: Finish your comic already!
- HOMESTAR: I'm trying, but the words keep coming out all misspelled and unintentionally humorous! Oh, if only I knew what it was like to be a winner!
Strong Sad's Room
Strong Sad's Door
- {first time}
- STRONG BAD: Hey Strong Sad! You in there?
- STRONG SAD: Yes!
- STRONG BAD: C'mon, lemme in! I just wanna punch you a few hundred times!
- STRONG SAD: Not interested.
- {second time}
- STRONG BAD: C'mon Strong Sad, I've got your favorite food, some nasty ethnic food!
- STRONG SAD: I don't believe in favoring one food over another.
- {each time thereafter}
- STRONG BAD: Strong Sad Raymond Jenkins, you open this door right now or I'll— I'll— I'll—
- STRONG SAD: You'll what?
- STRONG BAD: Oh, we'll just wait until your father gets home and see what he says!
- STRONG SAD: You're not even my real mom!
- STRONG BAD: Fine. I didn't want to go in your purple room of doom and gloom anyway!
Candy → Strong Sad's Door
- STRONG BAD: Strong Sad, if you open the door I'll give you a box of Choco-OPS.
- STRONG SAD: You know I can't have peanuts!
Tutorial
When entering the room
- STRONG SAD: Strong Bad, get outta here! I'm trying to get ready for the 19th century Scotland Yard LARP festival, and I can't find my authentic Sherlock Holmes magnifying glass!
- STRONG BAD: That whiney sack of gray dump over there is Strong Sad. Clicking on him means you want me to talk to him. You'll see a bunch of stuff appear over my head. They represent topics I can talk about. Let's try talking to him about his own miserable self first.
Strong Sad
- STRONG BAD: Hey little brother...
- STRONG SAD: Yes?
- STRONG BAD: {first time only} Click on the picture of Strong Sad's ugly face in the bubble above my head.
Strong Sad → Strong Sad
- STRONG BAD: {first time only} {to the audience} Sometimes when talking to people, I can choose between saying something nice, and saying something that I would say. Choose the angel me to say something nice, or the devil me to be more of a jerk.
Strong Sad → Strong Sad → Angel
- STRONG BAD: Nice hat. It distracts people from your grotesquely bulbous midsection.
- STRONG SAD: It's a tweed deerstalker hat!
- STRONG BAD: I am sure that it is.
- STRONG BAD: {to the audience} Ok, enough chit chat, let's shake him down about my stolen laptop!
Strong Sad → Strong Sad → Devil
- STRONG BAD: You are ugly and you smell like old feet!
- STRONG SAD: I don't even know what old feet smell like.
- STRONG BAD: Corn chips and medicated creamsA
- STRONG SAD: Oh, you're right. I do.
- STRONG BAD: {to the audience} Ok, enough chit chat, let's shake him down about my stolen laptop!
Strong Sad → Laptop
- STRONG BAD: Where is my Lappy, you two-bit thief?
- STRONG SAD: What? No, I told you I don't want to be part of your stupid tutorial!
- STRONG BAD: If you want your magnifying glass back you will!
- STRONG SAD: Fine. Give it back and I'll say my line.
- STRONG BAD: {to the audience} To give my brother back his magnifying glass, just get it from your inventory and use it on him. Just like you did with the fingerprint in my computer room.
Magnifying glass → Strong Sad
- STRONG BAD: Here's your nerd glass. Now, where's my Lappy?!
- STRONG SAD: Thank you! {monotonously} I pawned your Lappy to Bubs so I could afford — do I have to say it? — {dejected} foot replacement surgery.
- STRONG BAD: Well, you sure need it pal, but that's no reason to steal someone else's expensive high tech electronic styles! I need to get to Bubs'!
- STRONG BAD: This is my map. It's what I use to get from point A to place B. You can access this map at any time by clicking the map icon in the top left part of the screen.
- STRONG BAD: Yes, okay... my map is looking a little... undernourished. I need to throw Bubs' Concession stand up here somewheres. As I discover wondrous new places, I will add them to my map.
- STRONG BAD: Simply point to a location and click it to travel there. Give it a try!
Strong Sad → Cancel
- STRONG BAD: Nevermind.
Attempting to go downstairs
- STRONG BAD: That goes downstairs. We won't be going down there in this tutorial.
- STRONG BAD: Hey! Stay focused, man!
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