Editing Homestar Ruiner Responses (House of Strong)

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<blockquote class="lappy email">
<blockquote class="lappy email">
-
<div>subject: Beat Homestar?</div>
+
<div>Subject: Beating Homestar?</div>
-
Dear Strong Bad, I've got a question: If you hate Homestar<br>
+
Dear Strong Bad, I've got a question: if you hate Homestar<br>
-
so much, why dont you just beat the snot out of him? Are<br>
+
so much, why dont you beat the snot out of him? Are<br>
you chicken or something?<br/>
you chicken or something?<br/>
Confused,<br/>
Confused,<br/>
-
Eddie M., Frenchtown, CA.
+
Ennie M., Frenchtown, CA.<br/>
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
:''{reads "dont" as spelled, reads confused as "Con-fussed"''}
:''{reads "dont" as spelled, reads confused as "Con-fussed"''}
Line 57: Line 57:
::{{short hr}}
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey! It's the Laugh Trackalicious Adventures of Guy and Girlfriend! Oh, this is the one where Guy thinks he kills Girlfriend's hamster and tries to replace it with another hamster but the first hamster had been dead all along so Girlfriend thinks it came back to life and then the hilarity&mdash; and the humor&mdash; and the original comedy television writing!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey! It's the Laugh Trackalicious Adventures of Guy and Girlfriend! Oh, this is the one where Guy thinks he kills Girlfriend's hamster and tries to replace it with another hamster but the first hamster had been dead all along so Girlfriend thinks it came back to life and then the hilarity&mdash; and the humor&mdash; and the original comedy television writing!
-
:'''When Homestar is present'''
+
:'''When Homestar is present, first time'''
-
::''First time only''
+
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Time for a few hours of retina frying entertainment!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Time for a few hours of retina frying entertainment!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Don't touch that dial!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Don't touch that dial!
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::'''STRONG BAD:''' Actually, I don't think it's your face you should be worried about showing.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Actually, I don't think it's your face you should be worried about showing.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, you mean my feet? Yeah, they are pretty big.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, you mean my feet? Yeah, they are pretty big.
-
::{{short hr}}
+
:'''When Homestar is present, each time thereafter'''
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Don't change the channel! I'm tracking the progress of my very own personal pan-nationwide manhunt!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Don't change the channel! I'm tracking the progress of my very own personal pan-nationwide manhunt!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' More like nationwide '''''GET OFF MY COUCH!'''''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' More like nationwide '''''GET OFF MY COUCH!'''''
Line 78: Line 77:
:'''After Homestar has left the couch, but still inhabits the house elsewhere'''
:'''After Homestar has left the couch, but still inhabits the house elsewhere'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' There's nothing I'd rather do than max and relax in front of the TV... but I'll ''never'' be able to enjoy it as long as Homestar's still moping around my house like a wussier version of Strong Sad.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' There's nothing I'd rather do than max and relax in front of the TV... but I'll ''never'' be able to enjoy it as long as Homestar's still moping around my house like a wussier version of Strong Sad.
-
::'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{from upstairs}'' I heard that!
+
'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{from upstairs}'' I heard that!
:'''During Party'''
:'''During Party'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I'll never be able to get back to watching scrambled premium cable until I get these annoying party people out of here.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I'll never be able to get back to watching scrambled premium cable until I get these annoying party people out of here.
Line 96: Line 95:
====Homestar &rarr; Television====
====Homestar &rarr; Television====
-
:''First time only''
+
:''{First time only}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Can we watch something a little less... yokel than local news?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Can we watch something a little less... yokel than local news?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No way, man! I need to keep up-to-date on all the details of my scandalous downfall and nationwide manhunt!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No way, man! I need to keep up-to-date on all the details of my scandalous downfall and nationwide manhunt!
Line 113: Line 112:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, my trusty steed. Stooly, I'd ride you into email battle any day.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, my trusty steed. Stooly, I'd ride you into email battle any day.
=== Calendar ===
=== Calendar ===
-
:'''Before visiting the Track'''
+
:'''Start of game'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Today's the day I finally give Homestar his long overdue pummeling.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Today's the day I finally give Homestar his long overdue pummeling.
:'''After visiting the Track for the first time'''
:'''After visiting the Track for the first time'''
Line 139: Line 138:
==Homestar Runner==
==Homestar Runner==
-
:'''In any of the three rooms Homestar inhabits'''
+
===Cell Phone &rarr; Homestar===
 +
:''First time only''
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm not giving up this object of enormous pranking potential until it's absolutely necessary.
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Not yet, my pretty.
===Homestar &rarr; Homestar===
===Homestar &rarr; Homestar===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, Homestar, it's time for you to go. There's no room in the House of Strong for crybabies.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, Homestar, it's time for you to go. There's no room in the House of Strong for crybabies.
Line 179: Line 182:
=== Bubs ===
=== Bubs ===
 +
:'''Only during party'''
==== Bubs &rarr; Bubs ====
==== Bubs &rarr; Bubs ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Wait a minute, if you're here, who's minding the concession stand?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Wait a minute, if you're here, who's minding the concession stand?
:'''BUBS:''' Oh, I got that covered.
:'''BUBS:''' Oh, I got that covered.
-
:''{cut to the Concession Stand. The Poopsmith is behind the counter.}''
+
:''{cut to the concession stand, The Poopsmith inside}''
:'''THE POOPSMITH:''' ''{holds up a sign reading ''Half off all Whatsit!''}''
:'''THE POOPSMITH:''' ''{holds up a sign reading ''Half off all Whatsit!''}''
:''{Strong Bad shakes his head}''
:''{Strong Bad shakes his head}''
Line 206: Line 210:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' '''''Get out!'''''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' '''''Get out!'''''
:'''BUBS:''' Mmmmm... nope.
:'''BUBS:''' Mmmmm... nope.
 +
 +
=== Candy &rarr; Homestar ===
 +
:''First time only''
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey mopedog!
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What?
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Have some candy!
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Ewww, packing peanuts! That sounds like something Marzipan would like! ''{sighs}''  Marzipan...
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Great, now he's sighing.
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sure you don't want any of this (and I use the term loosely) candy?
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{sadly}'' No, the smell of organic packing peanuts reminds me of... Marzipan... wah-huh-hah!
 +
 +
=== Cell Phone &rarr; Homestar ===
 +
:'''After having successfully left the Candy for Marzipan'''
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey Homestar! Look who found your cell phone!
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What would I want with a phone? It's not like anyone will ever call me again.
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Anyone? Not even ''{dials voicemail}'' Marzipan?
 +
:'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{recording on phone}'' Homestar? It's Marzipan. I want you to know that while I'm still a little bit sore ''{Homestar saddens more}'' that you burned down most of my backyard, I've accepted your chocolate apology, ''{Homestar brightens}'' and am prepared to be your girlfriend again. Good bye!
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' The candy worked? Hooray!  Waitaminute... when did I give her candy?
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You don't remember? You sent me over to her house a few hours ago with a big box of chocolate-covered organic packing peanuts.
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh yeah, that ''sounds'' like something I'd do. So what am I doing in your kitchen now with all this cooking stuff?
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Beats the crap outta me.
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Well, I'll just go then.
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yes please. ''{Homestar leaves}'' At last, the kitchen and all its four year old condiments are mine again! Bwah-hah-ha-haaa!
=== Chef's Hat ===
=== Chef's Hat ===
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===Dead Plant===
===Dead Plant===
-
:''First time only''
+
:'''First time only'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This is Charlemagne, Strong Sad's plant. It used to be healthy, but after Strong Sad started talking to it, it decided to kill itself!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This is Charlemagne, Strong Sad's plant. It used to be healthy, but after Strong Sad started talking to it, it decided to kill itself!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' That's not true!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' That's not true!
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::{{short hr}}
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Eww, that mayonnaise is so ancient, its expiration date is chiseled on a stone tablet.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Eww, that mayonnaise is so ancient, its expiration date is chiseled on a stone tablet.
 +
::{{short hr}}
 +
::''{not at start of game}''
 +
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I think they say that once it turns a light grey, it's safe to eat again.
 +
:'''Only while Homestar is in the kitchen'''
:'''Only while Homestar is in the kitchen'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What happened to all the food?
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What happened to all the food?
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::'''STRONG BAD:''' Peanut Extract Cola, Eggplant Fritters, Frozen Double Vegan Sundaes... Yeah, this is a Marziparty all right.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Peanut Extract Cola, Eggplant Fritters, Frozen Double Vegan Sundaes... Yeah, this is a Marziparty all right.
-
:'''In Extended Play'''
 
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I think they say that once it turns a light grey, it's safe to eat again.
 
=== Fruit & Veggies Pizza ===
=== Fruit & Veggies Pizza ===
 +
:'''Only during party'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Normally, I'd be pouncing on these pizzas like The Cheat on a wounded Twinkie, but I draw the line at veggie pizzas. Especially veggie pizzas with olives and extra King of Town slobber.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Normally, I'd be pouncing on these pizzas like The Cheat on a wounded Twinkie, but I draw the line at veggie pizzas. Especially veggie pizzas with olives and extra King of Town slobber.
-
===Homestar Runner===
+
=== Jela-ton&trade; ===
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey now, what's this? ''{Strong Bad takes and reads note from crate}''
 +
:'''COACH Z:''' ''{voiceover}'' Dear Homestar, even though you thoroughly disgraced yourself at the Race to the End of the Race, rules are rules. Please enjoy this lifetime supply of Fluffy-Puff Jela-Ton&trade;, the official second place prize of the F-C-U-T-R-E-R. Yours truly, Coach Z. PS Never show your giant face around my track ever again!
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm. Homestar'll probably feel a lot better if I get rid of this unpleasant reminder of his humiliating defeat. I know ''I'll'' feel a lot better &mdash; I ''love'' Jela-Ton.
-
=== Candy &rarr; Homestar ===
+
=== The King of Town ===
-
:''First time only''
+
:'''Only during party'''
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey mopedog!
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey!
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What?
+
:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{eating noises}''
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Have some candy!
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' He's even more ravenous than usual, almost like he's spent the last few hours in a deep dark hole... or something.
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Ewww, packing peanuts! That sounds like something Marzipan would like! ''{sighs}'' Marzipan...
+
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Great, now he's sighing.
+
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sure you don't want any of this (and I use the term loosely) candy?
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey there!
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{sadly}'' No, the smell of organic packing peanuts reminds me of... Marzipan... wah-huh-hah!
+
:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{eating noises}''
-
=== Cell Phone &rarr; Homestar ===
+
=== Homestar &rarr; Chef's Hat ===
-
:'''Before giving the candy to Marzipan'''
+
:''{first time}''
-
::''First time only''
+
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm not giving up this object of enormous pranking potential until it's absolutely necessary.
+
-
::{{short hr}}
+
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Not yet, my pretty.
+
-
:'''After having successfully left the Candy for Marzipan'''
+
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey Homestar! Look who found your cell phone!
+
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What would I want with a phone? It's not like anyone will ever call me again.
+
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Anyone? Not even ''{dials voicemail}'' Marzipan?
+
-
::'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{recording on phone}'' Homestar? It's Marzipan. I want you to know that while I'm still a little bit sore ''{Homestar saddens more}'' that you burned down most of my backyard, I've accepted your chocolate apology, ''{Homestar brightens}'' and am prepared to be your girlfriend again. Good bye!
+
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' The candy worked? Hooray!  Waitaminute... when did I give her candy?
+
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You don't remember? You sent me over to her house a few hours ago with a big box of chocolate-covered organic packing peanuts.
+
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh yeah, that ''sounds'' like something I'd do. So what am I doing in your kitchen now with all this cooking stuff?
+
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Beats the crap outta me.
+
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Well, I'll just go then.
+
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Yes please. ''{Homestar leaves}'' At last, the kitchen and all its four year old condiments are mine again! Bwah-hah-ha-haaa!
+
-
 
+
-
==== Homestar &rarr; Chef's Hat ====
+
-
:''First time only''
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What's with all the cooking?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What's with all the cooking?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' The Cheat told me that the way to a woman's heart is through her stomach, so I'm endeavoring to prepare a scrumptious confection to win back Marzipan's a-love.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' The Cheat told me that the way to a woman's heart is through her stomach, so I'm endeavoring to prepare a scrumptious confection to win back Marzipan's a-love.
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:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, don't be dissin' my meaty milk!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, don't be dissin' my meaty milk!
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
 +
:''{each time thereafter}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Any closer to finishing off that make-up candy for Marzipan?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Any closer to finishing off that make-up candy for Marzipan?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No. I'm starting to think it's all hopeless.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No. I'm starting to think it's all hopeless.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, maybe Dr. Strong Bad can write a prescription to cure Homestar's broken heart. A candy prescription. For Marzipan. To eat.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, maybe Dr. Strong Bad can write a prescription to cure Homestar's broken heart. A candy prescription. For Marzipan. To eat.
-
 
-
=== Jela-ton&trade; ===
 
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey now, what's this? ''{Strong Bad takes and reads note from crate}''
 
-
:'''COACH Z:''' ''{voiceover}'' Dear Homestar, even though you thoroughly disgraced yourself at the Race to the End of the Race, rules are rules. Please enjoy this lifetime supply of Fluffy-Puff Jela-Ton&trade;, the official second place prize of the F-C-U-T-R-E-R. Yours truly, Coach Z. PS Never show your giant face around my track ever again!
 
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm. Homestar'll probably feel a lot better if I get rid of this unpleasant reminder of his humiliating defeat. I know ''I'll'' feel a lot better &mdash; I ''love'' Jela-Ton.
 
-
 
-
=== The King of Town ===
 
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey!
 
-
:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{eating noises}''
 
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' He's even more ravenous than usual, almost like he's spent the last few hours in a deep dark hole... or something.
 
-
:{{short hr}}
 
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey there!
 
-
:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{eating noises}''
 
===Microwave===
===Microwave===
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===Outside===
===Outside===
-
:'''During the party only. The same response is received if attempting to leave the area via the map.'''
+
:''During the party only. The same response is received if attempting to leave the area via the map.''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No way, man. I'm not going anywhere until I've kicked everyone whose name doesn't begin with "Strong" out of my house! Except The Cheat. I'm just gonna kick him.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No way, man. I'm not going anywhere until I've kicked everyone whose name doesn't begin with "Strong" out of my house! Except The Cheat. I'm just gonna kick him.
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::''{Strong Bad turns off the See Dee Spinner}''
::''{Strong Bad turns off the See Dee Spinner}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' That's what happens when you mess with General Flexmypecs! Tha&mdash;That's me. I sometimes call myself General William Flexmypecs. Now maybe I can get some freakin' piece of quiet around here...
::'''STRONG BAD:''' That's what happens when you mess with General Flexmypecs! Tha&mdash;That's me. I sometimes call myself General William Flexmypecs. Now maybe I can get some freakin' piece of quiet around here...
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{off-screen}'' Ow, my snot!
+
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{off screen}'' Ow, my snot!
::''{cut to the epilogue}''
::''{cut to the epilogue}''
=== Coach Z ===
=== Coach Z ===
 +
:'''Only during party'''
:'''While ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years'' is playing'''
:'''While ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years'' is playing'''
::'''COACH Z:''' This music really captures the dark empty abyss in my soul!
::'''COACH Z:''' This music really captures the dark empty abyss in my soul!
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:'''COACH Z:''' Nope.
:'''COACH Z:''' Nope.
-
=== Conga Line ===
+
==== Conga Line ====
 +
:'''Only during party'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey&mdash;
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey&mdash;
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Whoo hoo!
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Whoo hoo!
Line 427: Line 431:
=== Marzipan & Homestar ===
=== Marzipan & Homestar ===
 +
:'''Only during Party'''
 +
:'''If wearing Homestar disguise'''
:'''If wearing Homestar disguise'''
-
::''First time only''
+
''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, hewwo, Marzipan.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, hewwo, Marzipan.
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Hello Strong Bad.
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Hello Strong Bad.
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::'''MARZIPAN:''' Well, you nearly had me fooled, but then I remembered that the real Homestar is standing right next to me!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Well, you nearly had me fooled, but then I remembered that the real Homestar is standing right next to me!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, he is!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, he is!
-
::{{short hr}}
+
:{{short hr}}
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hewwo, evewybody!
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hewwo, evewybody!
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Why hello, Homestar...
+
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Why hello, Homestar...
-
::'''MARZIPAN:''' You're not fooling anyone, Strong Bad.
+
:'''MARZIPAN:''' You're not fooling anyone, Strong Bad.
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, Homestar.
+
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, Homestar.
-
 
+
:'''While ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years'' is playing, both speak slowly and sadly'''
:'''While ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years'' is playing, both speak slowly and sadly'''
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I'm too depressed to talk...
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I'm too depressed to talk...
Line 482: Line 487:
===Melonade===
===Melonade===
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You've gotta see it when Strong Mad shotguns one of these things.
+
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You've gotta see it when Strong Mad shotguns one of these things.
:'''During the party'''
:'''During the party'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Mad's gonna be seriously miffed off when he finds out they've tapped his melonade keg!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Mad's gonna be seriously miffed off when he finds out they've tapped his melonade keg!
Line 488: Line 493:
===See Dee Spinner===
===See Dee Spinner===
:'''Before party'''
:'''Before party'''
-
::''{Ordinary background music playing}''
+
::''{music playing}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Let's see what's in the ol' See Dee Spinner. ''{changes music}'' Uh. It's Strong Sad's copy of ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years.''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Let's see what's in the ol' See Dee Spinner. ''{changes music}'' Uh. It's Strong Sad's copy of ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years.''
::{{short hr}}
::{{short hr}}
Line 499: Line 504:
::{{short hr}}
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Enough with the music already! ''{changes back to original music}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Enough with the music already! ''{changes back to original music}''
-
:'''During Party, when switching to ''The Cheat's Assorted Latin Rhythms''.'''
+
:'''During Party'''
 +
::''When switching to ''The Cheat's Assorted Latin Rhythms''.''
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' All right! Conga line everybody! Adoot-doot-doot doot-doot doo-''doo''!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' All right! Conga line everybody! Adoot-doot-doot doot-doot doo-''doo''!
-
::''{The party goers form a conga line}''
+
::''{party goers form a conga line}''
===Smoke Detector===
===Smoke Detector===
Line 507: Line 513:
===Window===
===Window===
-
:''First time only''
+
'''First time only'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sometimes I like to stand in front of my window and start flexing in case a girls' volleyball team is walking by.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sometimes I like to stand in front of my window and start flexing in case a girls' volleyball team is walking by.
-
:''Second time only''
+
'''Second time only'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I know it's hard to tell from this angle, but the view from here is awesome!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I know it's hard to tell from this angle, but the view from here is awesome!
-
:''Each time thereafter''
+
'''Each time after'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You wouldn't think, since we're on the first floor and everything, but the drop-off from this window's like, 20 feet or something.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You wouldn't think, since we're on the first floor and everything, but the drop-off from this window's like, 20 feet or something.
Line 535: Line 541:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Checkin' my snail mail, checkin' my snail mail! Hmmm, what's this? ''{finds a ski cap}'' I'm ready for the big heist! Those smoky red laser beams don't stand a chance when I'm in this get up!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Checkin' my snail mail, checkin' my snail mail! Hmmm, what's this? ''{finds a ski cap}'' I'm ready for the big heist! Those smoky red laser beams don't stand a chance when I'm in this get up!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, I think I'll put it in my fancy schmancy transdimensional photo-booth wardrobe.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, I think I'll put it in my fancy schmancy transdimensional photo-booth wardrobe.
-
:'''After being emptied'''
+
 
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' It's empty now. On account of all the emptyin' I did earlier.
+
===Mail Box (empty)===
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's empty now. On account of all the emptyin' I did earlier.
===Pile of Dirt===
===Pile of Dirt===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh nophers, we've got gophers.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh nophers, we've got gophers.
Line 543: Line 550:
:'''STRONG SAD:''' (Sigh)... ''{leaves scene}''
:'''STRONG SAD:''' (Sigh)... ''{leaves scene}''
===Treasure Marker===
===Treasure Marker===
 +
====Treasure Marker====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, there's buried treasure just outside my front door! I hope it's a bubblin' crude.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, there's buried treasure just outside my front door! I hope it's a bubblin' crude.
====Shovel &rarr; Treasure Marker====
====Shovel &rarr; Treasure Marker====
Line 548: Line 556:
== Strong Bad Emails ==
== Strong Bad Emails ==
-
===When sitting down===
+
===Sitting Down===
-
:''During game intro only''
+
:''{During game intro only}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' I'm gonna check my email, my email, my email. I'm gonna check my whaat?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' I'm gonna check my email, my email, my email. I'm gonna check my whaat?
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
Line 562: Line 570:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I kick you in the head with my e-mail boot!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I kick you in the head with my e-mail boot!
-
=== When deleting emails ===
+
=== Beat Homestar? ===
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Survey Says! &mdash; Deleted.
+
:''{E-mail only appears in game intro}''
-
:{{short hr}}
+
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Dee! Lee! Ted!
+
-
:{{short hr}}
+
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted!
+
-
:{{short hr}}
+
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' El Deleto Grande!
+
-
:''{After each of these, the deleted sound plays, showing a red DELETED! screen which has the Female Lappy with devil horns.}''
+
<blockquote class="lappy email">
 +
<div>subject: Beat Homestar?</div>
 +
Dear Strong Bad, I've got a question: If you hate Homestar<br/>
 +
so much, why dont you just beat the snot out of him? Are<br/>
 +
you chicken or something?<br/>
 +
Confused,<br/>
 +
Eddie M., Frenchtown, CA.
 +
</blockquote>
 +
:''{Strong Bad pronounces "dont" as "dahnt", and "Confused" as "Confussed"}''
-
=== When undeleting emails ===
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' First of all, I don't think a Frenchy like yourself is in any position to be calling anyone "chicken", comprende-vous cordon bleu? ''{when typing Strong Bad omits the word "in" from the phrase "in any position"}''
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deteled! That's... deleted backwards.
+
 
-
:{{short hr}}
+
:''{Clears screen}''
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted no more!
+
-
:{{short hr}}
+
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Delete, meet un!
+
-
:{{short hr}}
+
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Undeleted!
+
-
:''{After each of these, the deleted sound plays backwards, showing a cyan UNDELETED! screen.}''
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Secondly, I'm pretty sure I don't want to beat the ''snot'' out of Homestar... I mean, have you ever listened to the guy? He's ''obviously'' got a '''lot''' of gunk up there. I could probably handle beating the tar, the stuffing, or the... into next-week out of him though.
-
=== Email 1: Beat Homestar? ===
+
:''{Strong Bad steps away from the Lappy}''
-
:''Email only appears in game intro. See [[#Game Introduction|Game Introduction]].''
+
-
=== Email 2: Pummelling? ===
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I bet I could find Homestar down at Coach Z's track, running in place or something.
 +
=== Pummelling? ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Pummelling?</div>
<div>subject: Pummelling?</div>
Line 597: Line 602:
:''{Strong Bad pronounces the last name "Oooh Meeeera", and says "Country Crock" instead of "County Cork"}''
:''{Strong Bad pronounces the last name "Oooh Meeeera", and says "Country Crock" instead of "County Cork"}''
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
-
:'''When checking the email a second time'''
+
:''{when checking the email a second time}''
:'''STRONG BAD:'''  Oh yeah, beating the snot out of Homestar. I should probably get back to that someday.
:'''STRONG BAD:'''  Oh yeah, beating the snot out of Homestar. I should probably get back to that someday.
-
=== Email 3: Got Bulk? ===
+
=== Got Bulk? ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Got Bulk?</div>
<div>subject: Got Bulk?</div>
Line 617: Line 622:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing as he speaks}'' Dear Total Load Peoples, Although I personally am endowed with bulging biceps that have been described as "bad boys," "pipes," and "thunder bludgeons," it never hurts to get a heroically chiseled leg up on the competition. Please send me a free sample of your wonderful product immediately. Grape flavor. Yours truly, Strong Bad.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing as he speaks}'' Dear Total Load Peoples, Although I personally am endowed with bulging biceps that have been described as "bad boys," "pipes," and "thunder bludgeons," it never hurts to get a heroically chiseled leg up on the competition. Please send me a free sample of your wonderful product immediately. Grape flavor. Yours truly, Strong Bad.
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
-
:'''When checking the email a second time'''
+
:''{when checking the email a second time}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I probably can't get another free sample.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I probably can't get another free sample.
-
=== Email 4: Your Head ===
+
=== Your Head ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Your Head</div>
<div>subject: Your Head</div>
Line 627: Line 632:
Quizzically, Jay and Jim Rosen, Brookyln, NY.
Quizzically, Jay and Jim Rosen, Brookyln, NY.
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
-
:''{Strong Bad shouts the capitalized part}''
+
:''{shouts the capitalized part}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, that's a good question. I should go do some field research.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, that's a good question. I should go do some field research.
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm.
-
=== Email 5: Hey There! ===
+
=== Hey There! ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Hey There!</div>
<div>subject: Hey There!</div>
Line 648: Line 653:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I never should've signed up for Bubs' Free Weekly Spamvertisements. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I never did.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I never should've signed up for Bubs' Free Weekly Spamvertisements. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I never did.
-
=== Email 6: Tie-Things ===
+
=== Tie-Things ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Tie-Things</div>
<div>subject: Tie-Things</div>
Line 656: Line 661:
-Christine B
-Christine B
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
-
:''{Strong Bad pronounces "Strtong" as "Stir-tong"}''
+
:''{Pronounces "Strtong" as "Stir-tong"}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' More like Christine D+, as in you get one, in life! Y'know, I was gonna ask you something similar, Christine. What's the deal with that giant nose-thing on the ''front of your face?!''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' More like Christine D+, as in you get one, in life! Y'know, I was gonna ask you something similar, Christine. What's the deal with that giant nose-thing on the ''front of your face?!''
-
=== Email 7: Total Load Confirmation ===
+
=== Total Load Confirmation ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Total Load Confirmation</div>
<div>subject: Total Load Confirmation</div>
Line 672: Line 677:
TOTAL LOAD TOTAL etc., INC.<br/>
TOTAL LOAD TOTAL etc., INC.<br/>
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
-
:''{Strong Bad stresses the incorrectly plural word "Thanks"}''
+
:''{Stresses the incorrectly plural word "Thanks"}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Bubs distributes Total Load? Man, he carries everything!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Bubs distributes Total Load? Man, he carries everything!
-
=== Email 8: Total Load Arrival ===
+
=== Total Load Arrival ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Total Load Arrival</div>
<div>subject: Total Load Arrival</div>
Line 687: Line 692:
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad ignores the extraneous word "arrived" on the third line, as well as the misspelled word "distirbutor"; He says "etc." twice and adds "whatever" at the end of the email, but makes no further comments}''
:''{Strong Bad ignores the extraneous word "arrived" on the third line, as well as the misspelled word "distirbutor"; He says "etc." twice and adds "whatever" at the end of the email, but makes no further comments}''
 +
 +
=== Deleted ===
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Survey Says! &mdash; Deleted.
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Dee! Lee! Ted!
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted!
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' El Deleto Grande!
 +
 +
=== Undeleted ===
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deteled! That's... deleted backwards.
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted no more!
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Delete, meet un!
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Undeleted!
==Strong Bad's Room==
==Strong Bad's Room==
Line 695: Line 718:
===Drawing Table===
===Drawing Table===
:'''At the start of the game'''
:'''At the start of the game'''
-
::''First time only''
+
::''{First time only}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You know what I need to add some much-needed ''hooah!'' to my day? A little thing I like to call Teen Girl Squad!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You know what I need to add some much-needed ''hooah!'' to my day? A little thing I like to call Teen Girl Squad!
-
::''{[[Homestar Ruiner Teen Girl Squad|Teen Girl Squad]] mini-game starts.}
+
::''{[[Homestar Ruiner Teen Girl Squad|Teen Girl Squad]] mini-game starts. After the mini-game}''
-
::''{After the mini-game is finished}''
+
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, I can never get enough of that Sassy, Injury-Prone Teen Girl Squad! The only thing that could possibly make their adventures even more unfortunate would be if I used those Really Cool Teen Girl Ideas I jotted down last night after a fried chicken pizza bender&mdash;
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, I can never get enough of that Sassy, Injury-Prone Teen Girl Squad! The only thing that could possibly make their adventures even more unfortunate would be if I used those Really Cool Teen Girl Ideas I jotted down last night after a fried chicken pizza bender&mdash;
::''{looks around the table}''
::''{looks around the table}''
Line 704: Line 726:
:'''When Homestar is blocking the table'''
:'''When Homestar is blocking the table'''
-
::''First time only''
+
:''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, Teen Girl Squad... which one of you wants to get trampled by stampeding Venus fly traps today?
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, Teen Girl Squad... which one of you wants to get trampled by stampeding Venus fly traps today?
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Get away! I'm pouring my crushed soul and grody guts into an epic 23-part comic 23-part comic zine graphic novel about a really cool guy who wins the Race to the End of the Race!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Get away! I'm pouring my crushed soul and grody guts into an epic 23-part comic 23-part comic zine graphic novel about a really cool guy who wins the Race to the End of the Race!
Line 826: Line 848:
=== Homestar &rarr; Teen Girl Squad ===
=== Homestar &rarr; Teen Girl Squad ===
-
:''First time only''
+
:''{first time}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Put your hands up, and back away from the Teen Girl Squad, Homestar. We don't want this situation to escalate.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Put your hands up, and back away from the Teen Girl Squad, Homestar. We don't want this situation to escalate.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Not yet, Strong Bad. I've got to finish my 23-Volume Epic Graphic Novel Zine about a Really Cool Guy who wins the ''{fanfare}'' Race to the End of the Race, and slays a dragon, and starts dating a supermodel and makes his old boring girlfriend jealous, and&mdash;
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Not yet, Strong Bad. I've got to finish my 23-Volume Epic Graphic Novel Zine about a Really Cool Guy who wins the ''{fanfare}'' Race to the End of the Race, and slays a dragon, and starts dating a supermodel and makes his old boring girlfriend jealous, and&mdash;
Line 833: Line 855:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Grr...
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Grr...
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
-
:''Second time only''
+
:''{second time}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Are you done with your moron opus yet?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Are you done with your moron opus yet?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I'm almost ready to start... what do you like better, "Goldstar Stunner" or "Dash Bigstar"?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I'm almost ready to start... what do you like better, "Goldstar Stunner" or "Dash Bigstar"?
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
-
:''Each time thereafter''
+
:''{each time thereafter}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Finish your comic already!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Finish your comic already!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I'm trying, but the words keep coming out all misspelled and unintentionally humorous! Oh, if only I knew what it was like to be a winner!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I'm trying, but the words keep coming out all misspelled and unintentionally humorous! Oh, if only I knew what it was like to be a winner!
Line 865: Line 887:
===Videlectrix Poster===
===Videlectrix Poster===
-
:''First time only''
+
:'''First time only'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's my Videlectrix Poster that I got for sending in ten bucks to become a member of the Videlectrix Good Graphicketeers!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's my Videlectrix Poster that I got for sending in ten bucks to become a member of the Videlectrix Good Graphicketeers!
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}

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