Homestar Presents: Presents

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 22:41, 8 June 2005

Naked somehow.

Homestar does some very last-minute Decemberween shopping, and ends up getting people crappy discount gifts.

Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Strong Mad, Tony Stony, Strong Bad, The Cheat, Homsar, Bubs, Coach Z, Strong Sad, Marzipan, Pom Pom (Easter Egg), The King of Town (Easter egg), The Poopsmith (Easter egg)

Places: Homestar's House, Bubs' Concession Stand, Strong Bad's Basement, The Field, Coach Z's Locker Room, Marzipan's House, King of Town's Castle (Easter egg)

Page Title: White and Drifted Snow, Yo!

Date: December 20, 2004

Transcript

{Wintery music plays as the camera zooms in on Homestar's clock; it flips from 9:59 to 10:00. Cut to Homestar Runner in bed yawning. Homestar sits up and looks out the window, and the music stops with a record scratch. It's the middle of the night.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh crap! {cut to outside Homestar's window looking in} I set the alarm for 10 PM instead of AM again!

{cut back to inside the bedroom}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I was supposed to go Decemberween shopping today!

{Another record scratch as the camera focuses on a page-a-day calendar, which reads "Dec. 25 — 'The D'Ween, yo.'"}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh crap! It's Decemberween already!

{Homestar jumps out of bed and runs off, and we hear the sound of him smacking into something.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh crap! I ran into the door!

{Homestar gets up and runs off again. The camera shakes to banging noises offscreen.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {dryly} Oh crap, I fell down the stairs.

{Cut to outside Homestar's house. Naked and censored Homestar leaps out and looks around.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {sighing} And now, I ran out of the house, naked somehow.

{Homestar looks up at the snow.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {happily} Ooh, but it is snowing.

{Cut back to the calendar, over which the cartoon title appears, then to a field view with the the title "Blah blah blah — The Brothers Chaps," then to the side of Bubs' Decemberween-decorated concession stand and the title "Vocal Styles by Missy & Matt," and then finally to the Strongs' living room with the title "Here we go."}

{In the Strongs' basement, a Capsela set and present wrappings are on the floor. Strong Mad is on the couch wearing a green Decemberween sweater with snowflakes on it. He's happily tossing a large rock with a winking face drawn on it and a red ribbon up in the air and catching it.}

STRONG MAD: I LOVE YOU, TONY STONY! {holding the rock in front of his face} NO, I LOVE YOU MORE!

{The camera pans over to reveal Strong Bad playing with an extending claw toy in front of a box labelled "Grabbo Arm."}

STRONG BAD: This thing is awesome. The Grabbo Arm demands respect. {to Strong Mad} I'd like to see somebody front on this. {calling} Hey, The Cheat!

THE CHEAT: {off-camera} Meh?

STRONG BAD: Grab a hold of that egg nog.

THE CHEAT: {off-camera} {"Okay" noise}

{The Cheat yelps as Strong Bad extends the Grabbo Arm, grabs him, and pulls him onscreen. He's wearing a red nose and antlers and holding a glass of egg nog.}

STRONG BAD: Thanks, man.

{Cut to outside, where Homsar is waving a paintbrush, standing next to a Salvation Army-like red pail with a sign over it reading "Baked Beans." The paintbrush rings like a bell. Homestar runs by, then skids to a stop in the snow and turns around.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Listen up, shortstop. I need some presents.

HOMSAR: Alms for the pudgy? Alms for the pudgy?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uhm, I don't know what any of that means, but I will make use of your complimentary spit bucket. Ahct-poo!

{Homestar spits into the bucket and runs off.}

HOMSAR: You're a real state trooper.

{Homestar runs across the countryside in silhouette, then to Bubs' Concession Stand.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {quickly} Bubs I need to buy everyone and their brother Decemberween presents! {panting}

BUBS: Running a little late, aren't we Homestar?

{Zoom in on Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I've got an hour and forty-five minutes. What do you got?

BUBS: {motioning to his left} Well, there's a bunch of my aught-four crap in that filthy box over there. Gotta make room for the aught-five crap!

{Homestar walks over to the box, clearly labelled "aught four crap," and kneels down. The camera switches to inside the box looking out.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay, what do we got here? {pulls out electrical tape} Electrical tape? Pom Pom loves electrical tape. What else, what else? {pulls out a steak knife} Ohh, rusty steak knife. That's got Coach Z written all over it.

{Cut to the locker room. Coach Z is sitting on the bench in front of a TV dinner on a tray.}

COACH Z: Ooh, Salisbury steak. Ring ring! {Picks up a phone with frayed wires, not attached to anything} Hellor? Ooh, Mom! Well, a very cheery Decemberween to you too! {shakes his head} Oh, Dad, it's you. Sorry about that. Yes, sir, I cooked a turkey, with the gravied yams and stuffinged ham. {camera zooms out to show entire bench} No, I'm not alone. Yes, this phone is plugged in.

{The lights suddenly go out.}

COACH Z: Aww, crackles. {Dejectedly} I forgot to pay my bills again this year...

{Cut back to the concession stand. Homestar pulls out a banana with an arrow through it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey Bubs, check this out. For the Poopsmith who has everything...!

BUBS: You give me anything in that box, you'll be gettin' a kick in the skull with a ribbon on it.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Right right. Ribbons. Bubs loves ribbons. Lessee... Strong Sad. Don't need to worry about Strong Sad.

{Cut to an old fashioned bathtub with chains holding the boards covering the top in place.}

STRONG SAD: {singing, from locked inside the tub} One night in Bangkok and the rough got rougher!

{Cut to Marzipan's house, where she is sitting on the couch sporting Decemberween lights in her hair.}

MARZIPAN: If Homestar doesn't get here soon with my present, {camera zooms in} I'm gonna cook his goose.

{Homestar runs in and trips, falling flat on his face in front of Marzipan. He gets up in a daze and hands Marzipan a wrapped present.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {groggily} Happy Decemberween, Marzi-man.

{Homestar falls back on the floor and Marzipan opens the present.}

MARZIPAN: {sounding disappointed} Wire cutters...?

{Strong Bad walks in.}

STRONG BAD: Foolish Homestar. Decemberween is not about getting people presents. It's about getting people good presents! Good presents! Not this last-minute discount crap you're trying to foist on us!

MARZIPAN: {interrupting} Oh, Homestar, it's perfect!

HOMESTAR RUNNER AND STRONG BAD: {simultaneously} It is? {Homestar shakes his head a few times in disbelief of his blind luck}

MARZIPAN: This is just what I need to free the baby seals from the crab traps down at the wharfs. {Marzipan walks off, singing to herself} Free the baby seals...

STRONG BAD: Well, shut my mouth.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well well, Strong-o Bad-o. Looks like the ol' captain of the team still has what it takes.

STRONG BAD: {brandishing his Grabbo Arm} Oh yeah? Well, the Grabbo Arm has what it takes, {extends the arm} and what it takes is Marzipan's purse.

{The Grabbo Arm comes back with Marzipan's purse.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: No skin off my back.

STRONG BAD: Hey, thanks! Have a nice last seven minutes of Decemberween, Homestar. {pokes Homestar with Marzipan's purse}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {increduously} There's only seven minutes left of Decemberween?! Oh, crap! I forgot to get everyone presents!

{Homestar runs off again.}

STRONG BAD: Ugh, it goes on and on like this.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {off-camera} Oh, crap! There's only seven minutes left of Decemberween?!

{Homestar Runner runs back behind Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: Seriously. Like until New Year's.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {off-camera} Oh, crap! there's only seven minutes left...

{scene fades to black.}

STRONG BAD: I didn't know we had any wharfs.

{The camera returns to Homestar's clock, which displays the number of minutes remaining until Decemberween/Christmas ends. The back button appears.}

Easter Eggs

• Click on "Homestar's Clock" at the end to see what happened to the three main characters left out of this toon.

{The King of Town, the Poopsmith, and Pom Pom sit around a table in the King of Town's castle with two cans, one labeled "gravied yams" and the other labeled "stuffinged ham" on the table. On the wall behind them is a sign that reads, "Left Out Characters' Support Group & Buffet."}

THE KING OF TOWN: Pass the gravied yams, please. And don't bogart that stuffinged ham neither!

Fun Facts

Trivia

• The Cheat is dressed as Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer.
• This episode marks Homsar's first appearance in a Decemberween 'toon.
• This is the first main Decemberween toon that does not end in a multi-character holiday greeting.
• Homestar's comment to Strong Bad referring to himself as the "ol' captain of the team" is also referenced in TBC's interview with Wired
• The sound quality is higher than normal, resulting in crisper sound compared to other toons on the site.
• Strong Bad's Grabbo Arm makes the same noises as Homestar's tricked-out propeller cap in car.
• Homestar's bunny slippers have the eyes and ears upside down relative to one another.

Explanations

• At the end, Homestar's Clock counts down the minutes remaining of Decemberween, although it is actually counting down the minutes until the end of the 25th of the current month (based on the local computer system's clock). If it reaches zero, the clock reads, "It's over".
• Strong Sad is locked in the bathtub—something he said his brothers do to him every Decemberween, according to The Best Decemberween Ever.

Remarks

• If Homestar slept through December 24 (as many assume after watching this toon), he could not have changed his tear-away calendar to the 25th.
• Homestar has somehow got cinnamon on his face again. He doesn't have to shave according to the caper Easter egg.
• This is one of the few times we see the inside of Homestar's House, and the very first time we saw his bedroom. The outside looks as it did in The Best Decemberween Ever, which is different from how it has looked in older cartoons.
• Homestar's alarm clock here is different from the alarm clock in radio. It was apparently made just for him, as it says "Homestar's Clock" right on it.
• Apparently Free Country, USA has wharfs, although Strong Bad didn't know this either, despite him appearing in a boat in both lures & jigs and montage.
• Homestar does not have the Race Car Bed he bought with Marzipan's credit card in Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 10.2
• Homestar takes about 15 minutes to go from his house to Bubs' Concession Stand; he woke up at 10, and then told Bubs that he had an 1 hour and 45 minutes left when he got to the concession stand.
• Coach Z's phone resembles the one from replacement.

Real-World References

• While locked in the bathtub, Strong Sad sings a misquoted lyric from the song "One Night in Bangkok," from the musical Chess. It became a number one hit for Murray Head in 1984, and was composed and written by Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus of ABBA and Tim Rice.
• The toy seen briefly on the floor in the Strongs' living room is a Capsela set, a module-based construction set which can be used to make portable fans, real floating boats, all manner of wheel and caterpillar-driven vehicles, and even remote-controlled robots. It appears as though their set in particular was used to make a boat (the "balloon" capsules on the bottom are a dead giveaway).
• The piano T-shirt Homestar is wearing in bed is essentially the same as that worn by Michael Jackson in bed in the video for "Beat It". This includes the inaccurate depiction of a keyboard, showing both single black keys and three white keys in a row.
• Strong Mad's rock is a reference to "pet rocks" which were popular in the mid-'70s.
• Homsar's "Alms for the pudgy" request, and Baked Beans bucket/complimentary spit-bucket is a take on the Salvation Army's annual Christmas drives.
• The banana with an arrow through it may be a veiled reference to the saying "Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."

External Links

• watch "Homestar Presents: Presents"
• view the Flash file for "Homestar Presents: Presents"
• forum thread re: "Decemberween Toon"