Doomy Tales of the Macabre

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Toon Category: Holiday Toon
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Doomy Tales

Strong Sad takes control this year!

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Sad, The King of Town, Marzipan, Homestar Runner, Coach Z, Bubs, Onion Bubs, Pom Pom, The Poopsmith, Homsar (Easter egg), The Sad Kids, Strong Mad, The Cheat, Strong Bad

See Doomy Tales of the Macabre Costumes for more information on what everyone was wearing.

Places: Strong Sad's Room, The King of Town's Castle, Marzipan's House, Bubs' Concession Stand, The Field, The Halloween House, Computer Room

Date: Thursday, October 29, 2009

Running Time: 5:57

Page Title: Available wherever doomy books are sold!



{Open to an almost-entirely black screen, with a window in the corner. As the following words are said, they are written at the bottom of the screen in red.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} {He has a slight echo throughout the toon, unless noted.} One chilled {said as "chillèd"} Hallow's Eve I rose,

{Strong Sad steps out of the shadows. The next line is not written on the screen.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} And sat right down to writing,

{He sits down as a desk moves in to view, with a paper and inkwell on it. He pulls out a pen and takes it to the paper.}

STRONG SAD: For none had bothered to propose, to their parties, my inviting.

{Cut back to another mostly-black screen with another window. Strong Sad is seen writing at the desk in white silhouette. The words are again written in red.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} So I crafted such a macabre {said in an exaggerated fashion} tale there in my darkened room

{Cut to a closeup of Strong Sad.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} To achieve literary justice, and send each to their DOOOOM! {As he says the final word, his skull image appears over his head, the screen glows slightly green, and a musical sting is heard.}

{To music, a book entitled "DOOMY TALES OF THE MACABRE by S. Sad" appears. On the cover, Strong Sad is dressed as the grim reaper and laughing. In front of him lie skulls of other main characters.}

{Cut to the exterior of the King of Town's castle. One window is brightly lit. The camera zooms in on that window.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} We start with the most expendable. Grrrreetings, {with the R rolled} King of Town!

{Cut to inside the castle, where the King of Town is slowly sinking into a giant boiling pot.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} For this glutton, a stew of mutton in which to slowly drown!

THE KING OF TOWN: I thought these were tales of the McArby: {A book appears with "TALES OF THE McARBY" on it, showing an enormous hamburger.} the mythical fast-food crossover sandwich of legend!

{The book disappears. The King of Town is now mostly submerged. He gurgles a bit and munches on the mutton on the way down. The King of Town's skull, in the shape of The Municipality logo, appears over his head as he sinks, to a musical sting. Cut to an image of a crystal ball.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} What's this? {Marzipan walks up to the crystal, and a distorted reflection of her is visible in it.} The fair maid Marzipan considering a brand new man?

{Homestar leans in.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Marzipan! Have you seen my toenail clippings? I left them right on top of your toothbrush.

{Marzipan glares at Homestar for a moment, and then into the crystal.}

MARZIPAN: Crystal, crystal, on the ball, I need a better boyfriend, y'all!

{Closeup on the ball, which is glowing. A buzzing sound is heard.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} But the gypsy forces she invoked decided they would play a joke!

{The ball flashes to a thunderclap. Cut to Homestar, but pan immediately so that only his shadow is visible.}


{His shadow and voice both shift to match Coach Z's}


{Pan back over to Coach Z.}

COACH Z: Hey there, my little love jorb! {Holds up his foot, which is encased in a shoe that's falling apart. It's stained and some hairs are on it.} These bunions, corns, and calluses aren't gonna pumice themselves!

{Cut to Marzipan.}

MARZIPAN: {halfheartedly; her skull appears over her face to the musical sting} Nuuuuuuu... Oh, wait, {squinting} what's that say? {The skull appears to the musical sting again.} Nooooooooo!

{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand. Bubs is in silhouette. The top of the screen resembles the paper Strong Sad is writing on, and Strong Sad's line is written on it.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} And now we join a man obse—

{Sudden cut back to Coach Z.}

COACH Z: {interrupting} Hey, what abrat my doom?

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} Um, you're already Coach Z. No sense in beating a dead horse.

COACH Z: Hey, good point!

{Coach Z's skull appears over his face to the musical sting. Cut back to the Concession Stand, the same as before.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} And now we join a man obsessed with sales and liquidation,

{Cut to inside the Stand. Bubs is concocting some sort of potion with a complicated device. He has some bubble gum in his costume's wig. A bottle of "TOXIC WASTE" is sitting near him.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} Dabbling with fiendish tests and genetic experimentation.

BUBS: I'll just take this piece of brain from my wig... {grabs the bubble gum and throws it into the concoction. Strong Sad's face appears in the top-left corner of the screen.}

STRONG SAD: But you all know how these things go, with unnatural creations.

{Cut back outside the Stand.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} A puff of smoke! {smoke appears} A greenish glow! {the space inside the Stand turns green} Voila! Horrible abominations!

{A giant puff of smoke appears. The text on the stand has been replaced with Bubs-like eyes, and teeth resembling Bubs' teeth hang above the stand's window. Bubs, now clearly visible, looks up at this. The stand growls and the teeth shake.}

BUBS: Aw, this was supposed to reduce my overhead! Not turn into my head!

{The teeth chomp at Bubs, severing his head from his body. The head, with Xs in place of eyes, flies forward and lands in front of Onion Bubs.}

ONION BUBS: Welcome to my world! Ehhhhh-heheheheheheeeeeeeh!

{Bubs' skull appears over his head to a musical sting. Cut to Pom Pom and the Poopsmith in the middle of the field.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} These two no-talkers need to go!

{A piece of paper comes down from the top of the screen; both characters look at it. "Poopmith" is written on it over Strong Sad's next line.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} Let's eliminate a Poopsmith O!

{The word on the paper becomes "POpmith". A tire pump that looks like it came from an old video game appears in front of the Poopsmith. The Poopsmith looks at it and starts pumping it. As he does, a tube connects from it to Pom Pom. Pom Pom becomes pixelated and grows bigger, until he pops. Crickets chirp for a moment.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover, unsure} Oh, uh, and Pom Pom was filled with a deadly gas... {a cloud of gas appears where Pom Pom was} that killed the

{The Poopsmith suddenly falls over onto the tire pump. His skull appears over his head, and Pom Pom's over his cloud, with a really fast musical sting. Cut to Homestar running in the field.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} Homestar Runner, fast, like the whind, but how fast can he run when his knees can't bend?

{As Homestar passes a tree, his legs straighten out to a musical sting. He keeps running, albeit slower, anyway.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oooh! Hey, this ain't so bad! {Hearts appear over his head} Give me the good thoughts, you know.

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} Well, I'll revise, then, if you please. What if each leg had several knees?

{A flash of light and musical sting as Homestar's legs become curved and tangled. Nonetheless, he shuffles along anyway.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, great! It's like I'm wadin' through puddin' with every step! And everyone knows how much the Homestar Runner loves wadin' through puddin'. {He stops.} Strong Sad, these doomy tales of macrame aren't very scary. {He walks forward.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} Oh, there's an idea!

{Cut to the dark room where Strong Sad is writing, now silhouetted in gray. Homestar shuffles in as a white silhouette. The words are written on the bottom of the screen again.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} A crafty fad, once loved by all. I'll hang you on a '70s basement wall!

{Suddenly, the background becomes a yellow wallpaper, and Homestar becomes a macrame owl hanging on it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {terrified} Oh no! Macrame! My worst nightmare!

{Marzipan steps forward.}

MARZIPAN: But Macrame Owl Homestar, I give you a macrame dream catcher for Decemberween every year.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: My point exactlyyyyyyy!

{Homestar's skull appears over the macrame Homestar to the musical sting. Marzipan jumps back in surprise. Coach Z steps in.}

COACH Z: Get back upstairs and cook my seventies dinner, woman!

{Marzipan scowls and walks off.}

COACH Z: And put on a pantsuit, fer cryin' out loud!

{Cut to the Sad Kids approaching a house with a candy bag. A paper appears, with Strong Sad's words written on it.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} Halloween is very handy, for those with appetites for candy.

{The paper disappears as a hand drops a piece of candy into the bag. The Sad Kids walk off.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} Except for greedy trick-or-treaters...

{Cut to Strong Mad and The Cheat.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} Like Strong Mad and The Cheat... {struggles for a rhyme} er...


{He indicates a dumpster with "TRiCK TREAT" spray-painted on it.}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

{Cut to the moon, panning back.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} All night long, they gathered sweets,

{The dumpster comes into view. Candy is poured into it.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} And tossed upon the growing heap! When finally struck the midnight hour,

{Strong Mad and The Cheat appear in the dumpster and start scarfing down candy. The Cheat disappears suddenly.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} 'Twas not just candy he devoured! {chuckles}

{Strong Mad chokes a little and yellow hairs fly out of his mouth.}


{Strong Mad's skull appears over his head, and The Cheat's over his stomach, for the musical sting.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} That's not macabre! {pronounced as "macab-er"}

{Cut to Strong Bad standing near the dumpster.}

STRONG BAD: Strong Mad eats The Cheat like four times a day! How do you think we give him baths?

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} Oh, fine! {Strong Bad looks upwards left and right, in search of Strong Sad} Well, I saved the most macabre {exaggerated} for last!

STRONG BAD: I'd like to see you get macabré on mé!

{Cut to the Compé. Strong Bad types Strong Sad's words.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} Strong Bad, as he always does, checks emails from his fans, what if,

{Cut to behind the Compé.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} instead of boxing gloves, a pair of human hands?!

{Strong Bad's hands are replaced by live-action human hands. Strong Bad recoils, knocking The Compé's monitor away. The hands' fingers continually move, except when in contact with the Compé's keyboard.}

STRONG BAD: Aaahhh! I'm hideous! How will I ever type with these waggly knuckled monstrosities?!

{He attempts to type, but fails. His skull appears over his head to the musical sting. Fade out and back in to Strong Sad.}

STRONG SAD: Now all have met their grisly fate, such horrors for you to see. Perchance next time they'll all think twice before not inviting me!

{The lights suddenly come on, and Strong Sad looks up with a happy surprised face.}

ALL: Happy Halloween, Strong Sad!

{Cut back to show Strong Sad looking at all the other main characters except Homsar.}

STRONG SAD: {His voice no longer exhibits the echo} A surprise party? Just for me?! Oh, you guys shouldn't have! You all really do care!

{The characters all fall forward, revealed to be a giant cardboard cutout with a tape player behind it.}

STRONG SAD: Oh. {to the viewer, nervously:} Heh, heh, you weren't really supposed to see that, uh... let's just flick the light back off, shall we?

{He turns off the light. The words "the end." appear to music, with skulls of the characters appearing below it. Cut to a scene of all the characters standing around in the field.}

Easter Eggs

  • During the scene with Pom Pom and The Poopsmith in the field, click on The Poopsmith's Goron Ruby tattoo to see the Homsar Easter egg.
{Shows the clip of Homsar being crushed by the Heavy Lourde from homsar.}
STRONG SAD: {voiceover} Crushed once by a Heavy Lourde in sbemail number two. To keep this little weirdo dead, only a heavy gourd will do!
HOMSAR: My punjab has a pretty price-tag! {His bowler hat spins in midair and flies off the top of the screen}
{A gourd marked "Heavy Gourd" comes down and crushes Homsar, then his skull flashes over where he used to be to the musical sting. His hat lands on top of the gourd.}
  • At the end, click on Strong Mad:
  • At the end, click on The Poopsmith:
{Homestar sings Saria's song from The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time slightly off-key as The Poopsmith dances}
  • At the end, click on Bubs:
BUBS: Hey, Coach Z, you seen my wallet?
COACH Z: Well, what does it look like?
BUBS: It's the one that says "Bad business practices".
  • At the end, click on The King of Town:
STRONG BAD: The King of Town ate the colonel's mustard, and the rope, and the parlor.
THE KING OF TOWN: I admit to only two thirds of that statement!
  • At the end, click on Coach Z:
COACH Z: Say, Marzipan, peep this: "You take two steps frorward and I'll take two steps back." Huh? No? I'm a cold-hearted snake? Rush rush? The Laker girls?
  • At the end, click on The Cheat:
{The Cheat grabs his backside and pulls himself into the air. A stone podium inscribed "UNLESS" appears under The Cheat, and he flies away. The podium disappears and The Cheat reappears with a pop.}
  • At the end, click on Strong Bad:
{As he speaks, a face resembling the face of the moon in The Legend Of Zelda: Majora's Mask fades in and out repeatedly on the surface of the moon.}
STRONG BAD: Oh, the evil moon is crashing into the Earth again! What a totally un-frustrating way to play a video game!
  • At the end, click on Marzipan:
STRONG BAD: Run, Marzipan, Run—off of a cliff, preferably.
MARZIPAN: You Kinder-Überraschung!
  • At the end, click on Homestar:
HOMESTAR RUNNER: All right, I'm just gonna save everybody some time and burn through these. {quickly} Pom Pom? Underwater orange juice man? Classic. Strong Bad? Scarecrow and Mrs. King? I would've preferred Jake and the Fat Man, but nice work. The Cheat as the thorax? Love it. Favorite part of the insect. Coach Z? Not sure if I wanna know the answer to this, but did you steal Mickey Mouse's pants? Marzipan, off-duty Ronald McDonald? It is what it is. And finally, Homestar, you seem to be distraught. {turns around} People try and make me sound a lot... weird, y'know, and I'm strong! And I can... kick... {lifts his leg to kick. It becomes the curled-up tangle it was during the toon.}

Fun Facts


  • Macabre is a literary and artistic style characterized by its grim nature and details of death.
  • Macrame is a form of textile-making using knotting rather than weaving or knitting.
  • Overhead refers to a business's expenses that aren't tied to sales (e.g. rent, labor, utilities, advertising).


  • This is the first time Onion Bubs has ever spoken.
  • This cartoon marks the first time that both Bubs and Onion Bubs were visible at the same time.
  • This is the second time that a character has sported two different costumes in the same Halloween Toon: Strong Sad is wearing his Grim Reaper getup on the cover of his book.


  • Many characters break the fourth wall by speaking to Strong Sad as he narrates. Marzipan does so by misreading a cue card. Strong Bad also does so by typing what Strong Sad is narrating. Strong Sad does so by addressing the audience at the end.
  • The patty on the McArby resembles that of the Thick 'n Nasty.
  • This cartoon suggests that both Coach Z and Homestar have toes.
  • The Compé was purchased with, and has been shown with, a mouse. However, it appears to be absent in this toon, though it could have fallen off the desk with the Compé itself.
  • This toon suggests that Strong Bad has a wireless keyboard.
  • Marzipan wears a tank top in this Toon, revealing her skin. This adds to the theory that her body is skirt-shaped (see also: The House That Gave Sucky Treats).
  • Strong Sad pronounces "chilled" as "chillèd".
  • Strong Bad mentions "the parlor" in the King of Town's Easter egg, but this is not one of the rooms included in the game Clue, on which the King of Town's costume is based.
  • Even though Strong Mad coughs up The Cheat's hair, he doesn't seem to eat The Cheat (The Cheat doesn't appear to go into Strong Mad's Mouth).
  • When Strong Bad's Gloves turn into hands, the hands don't seem to be attached to his body at all.


  • The Poopsmith is dressed as Darunia, but the tag at the end says that he is "King Dirunia". In addition to the spelling error, Darunia (though the leader of the Gorons) is not a king. The Gorons in Goron City refer to him only as "Big Brother".
  • Homsar's hat is dressed up for Halloween, but at the end, he is wearing his normal bowler hat.
  • "Poopsmith" and "Popsmith" are both missing the "s" when they are written on the parchment Paper.


  • As with all years, the cursor can hover over Homsar to bring up his name and costume while characters give their Easter egg speeches, which is not possible for any other characters. This is due to Homsar being added in over the movie clip, and not affected by the rendering level that the others are in.

Inside References

Real-World References

What a totally unfrustrating likeness!
  • McArby is a portmanteau of McDonald's and Arby's.
  • Strong Bad's comment about the moon falling refers to The Legend Of Zelda: Majora's Mask, in which, the moon would come crashing down after 3 in-game days (about 54-72 minutes real-world time, under normal conditions), causing a game over unless Link reset time using the Ocarina of Time. His comment about it being a "totally unfrustrating" manner of play refers to how this time limit and limited saving caused frustration among some gamers having to repeat similar parts of the game frequently as well as a feeling of being rushed. The face on the moon as he says this resembles the one in the game.
  • The song that Homestar sings and the Poopsmith dances to is Saria's Song from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. In this game, the player must make Goron Chieftain Darunia dance to this song. This tune also plays in different locations in various later games in the series.
  • Marzipan says "Crystal, crystal, on the ball," a reference to the line "Magic mirror, on the wall" from Snow White, which was mistakenly interpreted as "Mirror, mirror, on the wall."
  • When you click on Homestar at the end of the toon, the Easter Egg wraps up with him claiming to be strong and able to kick. This, along with Homestar's costume, is a reference to Crispin Glover's 1987 appearance on "Late Night with David Letterman" where he kicked at Letterman.
  • Coach Z's Easter egg makes heavy reference to Paula Abdul, including her songs "Opposites Attract", "Cold Hearted Snake", and "Rush Rush". MC Skat Kat first appeared in the Abdul's "Opposites Attract" video.
  • Strong Bad's quote "Run, Marzipan, Run" is based on the source of Marzipan's costume, the German movie Run Lola Run.
    • Marzipan's reply, "You Kinder-Überraschung!" refers to the German confection also known as "Kinder Surprise" or "Kinder Egg".
  • Bubs' Easter egg is reference to Pulp Fiction, where his costume, Jules, originated from. Jules had a wallet saying a similar, but vulgar phrase on it.
  • Bubs pulling the brain from his hair is a reference to a scene from Pulp Fiction.
  • Scarecrow and Mrs. King was a US TV series that ran from 1983 and 1987 about the adventures of a spy and a divorced housewife.
  • Jake and the Fatman was a US TV series that ran from 1987 to 1992 about a prosecuting attorney and an investigator.
  • The Cheat "lifts himself up by the seat of his pants" and "takes leave of this place... without leaving a trace", leaving only a pile of rocks bearing the word "UNLESS", just as The Lorax does.
    • There is also a Thneed lying at The Cheat's feet when he is first shown. A Thneed is a product made from the Lorax's beloved Truffula Trees, and which (claims the Once-Ler, the book's villain) "everyone, everyone, everyone needs".
  • When Strong Mad says "MOVE-A MOVE-A", it is a reference to a lyric spoken in the Dire Straits song "Money for Nothing".
  • Homsar is dressed as Little Orphan Annie, and his line refers to "Punjab", a recurring character from that comic strip.
  • Strong Bad's remarks about the King of Town's costume reflect the format of Clue (who, what, and where), on which the King of Town's costume is based.

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