Donut Unto Others
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| Toon Category: Shorts |
|
Homestar Runner opens his own donut stand, much to the chagrin of Bubs
Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Bubs, The King of Town, Strong Bad
Places: Marzipan's House, Bubs' Concession Stand
Date: Monday, April 6, 2009
Running Time: 3:56
Page Title: Hey There, Doughnut Rush!
Contents |
Transcript
{Homestar is seen cutting out dough rings in Marzipan's Kitchen. Marzipan Enters}
MARZIPAN: Oh, that's sweet! Are you making me homemade donuts for the 16th anniversary of our 17th breakup?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Um, no. No way. Um, no way. You know how I've always dreamed of being my own boss at the donut factory!
MARZIPAN: No, since when?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Why, just last night! {Homestar appears in his dream wearing a shirt with the Mexican flag on it and only one leg} I dreamt that I was a French long-jump champion with eight wooden legs!
MARZIPAN: Aaand that made you want to start a donut shop?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yes sir! Like I said, it's a boyhood dream of mine. Could you pass me that recipe?
MARZIPAN: {Picks up a small note from the table} There's just this square of TP that says "dog-nut" on it.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, yeah. That's it. My secret recipe.
MARZIPAN: {Sighs} I'm gonna go talk to anyone else but you.
{cut to The Field. Homestar is a cardboard box marked "Do-Nots". Fat can be seen bubbling in the back.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I honestly wonder how many million donuts I'll sell on my first day. Three? Four? Eight? I've gotta be ready for the 3:09 p.m. donut rush, you know? Ooh, here it comes.
{Bubs, with a red face and a VERY furious expression, enters from the right}
BUBS: {with forced restraint} Well, hello, Hoomestar.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey there, donut rush. What can I get for you?
BUBS: It's really great to very see you, Homestar.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uhhm... it's good to see you, too, I guess.
BUBS: I'm delighted you've decided to set up shop about ten feet away from me!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, we could be a conglomerate, like KFC-Taco-Bell-Raddison-Texas-Instruments-NASA!
BUBS: Yes. That is a really outstanding ideeeaaaa!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Um, Bubs? Are we in a fight?
BUBS: What do you think, man?! You opened up a competing donut place right across the street from me!
{Cut to a single shot of Bubs and his face is blue again.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {examining the grass between the two stands} The street?
BUBS: Right across the way from me.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: But I thought you sold questionable medical coverage.
BUBS: That was two hours ago. Now I'm in the donut business. How's that coverage working out for you, by the way?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Great so far!
BUBS: I gotta get ready for the big 3:09 p.m. donut rush. When next we meet, 'twill be on the donut field of battle!
BUBS: {singing/marching} Dubba dup dup dup dubba dup dup dup.
{cut to a shot of a clock that strikes 3:09. Cut back to a shot of Bubs' Concession Stand and Homestar's Do-Not, when the The King Of Town poofs in with a puff of smoke.}
THE KING OF TOWN: Oof! All right gentlemen, here's how this is gonna go down. I need fried dough so bad it hurts! According to the data I got back from Taco-Bell-NASA, we're gonna need in the 3 to 8 million range to maintain my caloric intake. Now, commence marketing bombardment.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Mine's is homemade!
BUBS: Mine's is shipped from a 3rd world country named Homemáde, so I can legally print from "Homemade" on the prepackaged package.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I've got great gumption and an adorable speech impootaboot.
BUBS: My name's Bubs, I talk hard and fast.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Available in 57 different varieties!
BUBS: One flavor, over a hundred different names for it
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Marzipan raves "Hey! Get outta my kitchen, you!"
BUBS: Fights cavities! Cleans Teeth! The American Dental Association does not approve the preceding statements.
THE KING OF TOWN: All right, all right, all right. You both make excellent cases, but I've come to my decision.
BUBS: Health Inspector! Cheese it, everyone!
{Bubs closes his stand}
THE KING OF TOWN: Ooh! {he disappears}
{Strong Bad, in silhouette, is seen coming up and walks towards Homestar with a clipboard in his hand.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey potential customer, would you like several million donuts?
STRONG BAD: No, I don't want one.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: But do you do-not want one? Hmmm?
STRONG BAD: I'm the health inspector, here to hopefully shut you down. Now rub this swab under your grease trap and bring it back.
{Homestar takes the swab and rubs it on the fat fryer.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yes sir, inspector! {Homestar starts humming}
STRONG BAD: and.. a little bit of THIS! {Strong Bad puts a note marked "F" on the side of Homestar's stand and pushes it over.}
{cut to a long shot of Homestar's overturned stand in silhouette, with smoke rising from it}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ah! My face!
STRONG BAD: {laughs and walks away}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: My delicious fried face! Bubs, is this covered by my questionable medical coverage... at least questionably so? Bubs?
{Bubs opens the back of his stand and is seen sneaking away}
BUBS: Dooot droot dooba doop doop doop...
Fun Facts
Trivia
- The newspaper reads:
| The Imaginary Newspapes |
| MARZIPAN RAVES: Hey, get outta my kitchen, you! FCUSA - The Marzipan was stunned today when she woke to find a totally legit donut enterprise operating out of her own dang kitchen. Mexican high jumper Homestar Garcia Colon was unavalible for comment but French long jumper Chateau 'Octo' Etoile broke out the ol' soft shoe. |
Remarks
- When viewing the flash file, this toon does not not have any viewable areas aside from the actual toon.
- This is the first time when we see Bubs's face in a different color.
- When his face goes from red to blue there is a thin line of red till his face is all blue.
Inside References
- Homestar claiming he was a French long-jump champion is another instance of French. The French name in the newspaper, "Chateau Etoile" means "Home Star".
- Trivia Time is shown in the kitchen.
- Strong Bad smiles in this short.
- The King of Town appears from hammerspace.
- Strong Bad also pulls the F slip out of hammerspace.
- In the scene where Bubs and Homestar are marketing their donuts to the King of Town, the music playing is from No Hands On Deck.
- In Homestar's newspaper, Marzipan is once again referred to as "The Marzipan" as she was in Date Nite. This is another example of integral articles before names.
Real-World References
- Homestar hums the theme to Inspector Gadget.
- The flag that Homestar wears in his dream is the flag of Mexico.
- The companies that Homestar lists as a conglomerate are real companies:
- KFC and Taco Bell are restaurants owned by Yum! Brands.
- Radisson is a hotel chain owned by Carlson Companies.
- Texas Instruments is a semiconductor and electronics maker.
- NASA is the United States space agency, not part of a conglomerate.
- Homestar's line about "57 different varieties" refers to American condiment company Heinz.
