Disk 4 of 12 - World Games

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(Fun Facts)
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** Strong Bad may be referring to ''[[The Simpsons]]'' episode "The Otto Show", in which a comedic variant titled [[Wikipedia:Singing to the Bus Driver|"Hail to the Bus Driver"]] is used.
** Strong Bad may be referring to ''[[The Simpsons]]'' episode "The Otto Show", in which a comedic variant titled [[Wikipedia:Singing to the Bus Driver|"Hail to the Bus Driver"]] is used.
* {{wp|Borscht}} is a red beet soup originally created in {{wp|Ukraine}}, and commonly served in [[Wikipedia: Eastern Europe|Eastern Europe]] and the countries of the former [[Wikipedia:Russian Empire|Russian Empire]].
* {{wp|Borscht}} is a red beet soup originally created in {{wp|Ukraine}}, and commonly served in [[Wikipedia: Eastern Europe|Eastern Europe]] and the countries of the former [[Wikipedia:Russian Empire|Russian Empire]].
-
* {{wp|Chick-O-Stick}} is an orange candy stick.
 
* "Bangers" is British slang for sausages.
* "Bangers" is British slang for sausages.
* The {{wp|CMYK color model}} is used in color printing and refers to cyan, magenta, yellow, and key (black) colors.
* The {{wp|CMYK color model}} is used in color printing and refers to cyan, magenta, yellow, and key (black) colors.
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*Strong Bad mentions King Graham from [[Sierra]]'s King's Quest.
*Strong Bad mentions King Graham from [[Sierra]]'s King's Quest.
*The "Sixers" may be a reference to the {{wp|Philadelphia 76ers}} [[Wikipedia:National Basketball Association|NBA]] team.
*The "Sixers" may be a reference to the {{wp|Philadelphia 76ers}} [[Wikipedia:National Basketball Association|NBA]] team.
 +
* {{wp|Chick-O-Stick}} is an of orange candy stick.
== External Links ==
== External Links ==

Revision as of 17:16, 13 September 2021

Toon Category: Strong Bad's Disk 4 of 12
watch FrienDendum FriendlyWare‎‎
Toon Category: Video Stuff
watch Disk 4 of 12 - FrienDendum Peasant's Quest Movie Trailer
"The sea breeze off the water gives me goose flesh!"

Strong Bad causes some severe bodily damage in the Epyx classic World Games.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Wagon Fulla Pancakes, Lady, Limozeen (voice only), Sickly Sam, Kerrek, The King of Town, Rather Dashing, Cheerleader, Powered by The Cheat Bubs

Places: Computer Room

Date: Friday, August 6, 2021

Running Time: 16:25

Page Title: Peli Luncheon Takes Gold!

Contents

Transcript

{A live-action case filled with 5 inch floppies sits on a desk next to an old computer. The disk in the front has a handwritten label reading "Disk 4 of 12". Strong Bad's gloves reach into the shot, open the case and begin rifling through the contents.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} When I check my email,

{Strong Bad holds up a disk labeled "Old Game".}

STRONG BAD: —there are some old games.

{Strong Bad inserts the disk into a disk drive and then types on a keyboard with boxing gloves on.}

STRONG BAD: Now I'm gonna play them for you.

{The monitor comes to life, showing a screen reading "Strong Bad's Disk 4 of 12". A disk reading noise plays.}

{Fade into a shot of Strong Bad's desk, zooming in on the container of floppy disks, the frontmost one reading "world games".}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Okay, this episode's game comes from sbemail number 70: big white face. And this game, oh man, it's the greatest game! I am of course talking about World Games, aka the game where Epyx—

{Cut to a photo collage of Epyx game box arts including Pitstop II, Summer Games, Summer Games II, Robots of Dawn, Temple of Apshai, Gateway to Apshai and Winter Games. While Strong Bad is speaking, the collage scrolls to the top left of the screen, revealing more games as it scrolls.}

STRONG BAD: —ignored their awesome neon box art style guide.

{The photo collage stops, and the cover of World Games pops on screen with a splat sound effect accompanying it, the music stops as well.}

STRONG BAD: For some reason.

{As Strong Bad says this, the cover zooms in slightly.}

STRONG BAD: Also, also known as, {music starts} a game that I legitimately thought was about giant continent-sized bull riders, fighting giant continent-sized sumo wrestlers, fighting giant continent-sized speedomen.

{While Strong Bad speaks, the individual parts of the cover he is talking about get zoomed in upon when he mentions them. Then it cuts back to the container of floppy disks.}

STRONG BAD: But hey, until that game exists, let's play this one! Please insert Disk 4 of 12.

{A disk reading sound is heard, then it cuts to the title screen for World Games, where a PC speaker tune with quick arpeggios plays for a couple of seconds.}

STRONG BAD: BLAH! Jeez! Notes, chords, melodies! That's supposed to be the title... music? Sounds more like a... sonic weapon. Why is it gargling at me? {imitating the title music} WOoOoRLD GAaAa- {gargling sound} -AaMmes, WwWw-{gargling sound}-WwOoOrld Ga- {gargling sound} -Aaames.

{Cut to the main menu, with 7 options.}

STRONG BAD: Phew... Sweet silence. All right, what have we got here? Compete in all, some, one event. Let's compete in one event at a time, juust in case this game actually sucks. And sound settings... On? I guess? I'm taking a risk here... In case they hit me with more gargles. "Include Travelogue?" Ooh! Sounds, cosmopolitan. I'll do it!

{Cut to the country selection screen, with the USA, France, Great Britain, the U.S.S.R, Canada, Mexico, Japan, Netherlands, and Epyx}

STRONG BAD: Oooh! "Enter your name." I gotta go with the number one world athletic champion, Loadpast. "Loadpast pick your country!" I see the very current nations of U.S.S.R.—

{The screen scrolls to the right, revealing West Germany, Spain, Norway, Austria, Denmark and Ireland.}

STRONG BAD: —and West Germany. And what is that {screen scrolls back to the left} jumble-mess on the Epyx flag? Is that supposed to be their Thinkin' Man logo? {The Thinking Man fades out from the flag} Looks more like one of them {The Thinking Man fades back into the flag.} Sierra, King Graham {A wolf appears from the top of the screen and walks to the Epyx flag.} gettin' mauled by a wolf clouds. {The wolf turns into the aforementioned clouds} Know what I'm talking about? Anyways, I wish Loadpast could be from Strong Badia...

{The screen scrolls to the right again, revealing Italy, Australia, Brazil, and also Strong Badia where Ireland was. The Strong Badia anthem in PC speaker form plays.}

STRONG BAD: There we go!

{Cut to an "Is This Correct?" screen.}

STRONG BAD: "Is This Correct?" Loadpast from SBA. {pronounced "sbaaah"} Yes!

{Cut to a screen with "WEIGHTLIFTING" as the heading, and lengthy info text about the sport. An icon is at the top left featuring a weightlifter with a barbell raised above his head. A globe spins at the top middle, and an airplane is at the top right with the Continental logo below it.}

STRONG BAD: Wait a minute, is this the travelogue? Some text-heavy attempt at making the game educational? Shame on you, Continental Airlines! And your sidewise Atari logo!

{Cut to a man standing on a stage at a long barbell with pairs of thin magenta lines on each end. Text reading "PRACTICE WHICH EVENT? CLEAN AND JERK" is at the bottom.}

STRONG BAD: Umm, why is this weightlifting competition taking place on the trunk of a 1950's Cadillac?

{The text changes. It begins with "CLEAN AND JERK #1 CURRENT WEIGHT 75kg".}

STRONG BAD: "Please select the weight."

{The number increases; white rectangles appear next to the pairs of magenta lines at each end and grow in size.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa, my weights are made of... strips of bacon. {the white rectangles are each replaced with another pair of magenta lines} Let's do... two bacons aaand a biscuit.

{Strong Bad sets the weight to 135 kg. At each end of the barbell is a group with a small white square and two pairs of magenta lines. "BEGIN LIFT" appears at the bottom of the screen. The man starts to take breaths.}

STRONG BAD: That's supposed to be my breathing? Sounds like I've got some upper respiratory issues. All right, let's go for it.

{The man crouches down.}

STRONG BAD: Grab the bar. {PC sounds are heard as the man opens and closes his fingers} Here we go. {the man lifts but then drops the barbell} Ahw, bacon drop!

{Text reading "PRACTICE AGAIN? YES" briefly appears.}

STRONG BAD: 'Kay, try again. {imitates the PC sounds} Wiggle wiggle. Wiggle wiggle. {the man lifts the bar to his shoulders} Oh, there we go. {the man drops the bar} Oh man! I heard him breathing there. Maybe I need to pay more attention to his... rasp-iratory noises.

{The man lifts the bar to his shoulders again.}

STRONG BAD: Right, up. There we go. {the man stands up straight} And... into the next level! {leans and lifts the bar above his head} You got it! {stands up} Oh, now what do I do?!

{There are three pairs of black rounded squares at the front of the stage between the man and the text. In each pair, the left-hand rounded square turns cyan.}

STRONG BAD: The turn signals on the Cadillac are blinking!

{The man's face turns magenta and then cyan. After a moment, the floor cracks and falls apart underneath the man, who falls into the hole with a puff of smoke. The barbell remains in midair.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa! That is awesome!

{The man peeks his head out of the hole.}

STRONG BAD: Right into—

{The barbell falls to the floor and knocks the man back in.}

STRONG BAD: Ohh! Dang! Right into the floor! I forgot that this game had, like, fatalities! I gotta look for those in every event!

{Strong Bad selects "NO" to the "PRACTICE AGAIN?" prompt.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, and by the way: Today's special at the 50's weightlifting diner...

{Appearing on the stage wall are a plate, knife, and fork. The plate is cyan with a thick white circular border; on it are a small white rectangle and two pairs of thin magenta lines. Magenta text above the plate reads "TODAY'S SPECIAL:", while black text below it reads "$5.99".}

STRONG BAD: —is two bacons and a biscuit.

{Cut to a spinning-globe info screen about "BARREL JUMPING". The top-left icon features a man leaping over a series of barrels.}

STRONG BAD: On to barrel jumping. I suspect this one will have some good fatalities.

{Cut to a scene with mountains, a cyan and magenta forest, three flags and two black rectangles to the left, and a plain white ice rink. "CONTESTANT" is in white text to the bottom left of the screen, while "PRESS YOUR BUTTON" is flashing in different colors at the bottom right. Blippy PC speaker music starts.}

STRONG BAD: Uh! There it is. Nothing like a nice gargle rendition of... "The More We Hail the Bus Driver", or whatever the crap that song is called.

{Strong Bad presses a key. An ice skater appears at the left wearing a full-body magenta outfit and black skates with cyan blades. He gestures toward the screen and then assumes a starting stance. A white hollow rectangle, the speed bar, appears at the bottom right.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa, look at my pink full-body hoodie! This is just like Little Mac! Oh man, I hope it plays a gargle version of that Punch-Out!! trainin' music.

{A scene appears in a fading transition. In it, highly pixelated versions of Strong Bad wearing a pink jogging suit and the Wagon Fulla Pancakes are running through a highly pixelated city.}

STRONG BAD: {imitates the training music in gargling form} Dalalalalaww, bahw bahw-bahw bahw balalalalaww, bahw bahw-bahw bahw blahlalalalaww, bahw bahw-bahw bahw blalalalalalalawww!

{The scene pixelates and fades away.}

STRONG BAD: Let's do it!

{The skater starts to move as the speed bar fills.}

STRONG BAD: Okay, here we go. {the arena background passes by} Do, do, do, do, do, do...

{The skater approaches a small cyan marker flag to the side and a row of three magenta barrels. He jumps above the barrels and goes very far.}

STRONG BAD: —Pfvvt!

{The skater breaks through the ice. His head peeks out of the hole of magenta water.}

STRONG BAD: Whooaaaa! Right through the ice! Into the... frozen river of fruit punch! I'm telling you, man, I predict that the failures of this game are going to be... way more entertaining than the successes.

{The skater begins again.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} Full-body hoodie! Do, do, do, do, do, do...

{The skater trips over the three barrels, knocking the last one out of place. He dives onto his stomach and spins to a stop on the ice. The text "0 CLEARED!" appears where the speed bar was.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa-ho-ho-ho! Nice wipeout! I did, like six 360s! That's like a... six-thrixty! They should give you wipeout style points in this game.

{Two beeps are heard as "SIX-THRIXTY!! +150 WIPEOUT STYLE POINTS" appears.}

{Music starts. The skater leapfrogs onto a long row of barrels and lands on his stomach on top of the fifth one.}

STRONG BAD: Ooh, "Slidin' into foist"! {"+200 WIPEOUT STYLE POINTS" appears}

{The skater begins his next long jump before passing the small flag. He crash-lands on his bottom onto a barrel, which breaks, and bumps along several before falling to the side. He keeps his legs in the air and turns his head to the screen.}

STRONG BAD: "Maximum bump buttery with a {text reads "w/"} sidewise dismount!" {"+75 WIPEOUT STYLE POINTS"}

{The skater fails to clear the row of barrels. His legs kick up the last barrel as he spins on his stomach. The barrel flips into the air and breaks on the ice.}

STRONG BAD: Nice! "Pop-up barrel slip n' slide"! {"+100 WIPEOUT STYLE POINTS"}

{The skater's next long jump has him land on the sixth-last barrel, crushing it, and bumping his bottom along the rest. Sitting on the ice with legs raised, he looks at the screen. The music stops.}

STRONG BAD: That's not a wipeout! He's just posing—

{A magazine cover appears featuring the skater in his sitting pose just in front of a barrel. "TBJM" is in big multicolored text at the top between sets of three thin horizontal lines. "FASHION ISSUE!" is in black text at the bottom of the cover.}

STRONG BAD: —for the cover of Terrible Barrel Jumper Magazine.

{The music resumes. In the next long jump, the skater lands onto the fifth-last barrel and takes a forward dive onto the rest, causing the barrel he landed on to fly out from the row and break.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa-ho-ho! The "Realistic fizzix barrel toss"! {"+500 WIPEOUT STYLE POINTS"}

{The skater does a long jump well before the row of barrels and crashes through the ice at the small flag. His head peeks out of the magenta water.}

STRONG BAD: The "Pre-barrel Pepto Bis-borscht bath"! {"+100 WIPEOUT STYLE POINTS"}

{The music stops. Strong Bad has another go at the game.}

STRONG BAD: All right, let's see if I can at least clear the fifteen. Do, do, do do do do do do... {the skater approaches the long row of barrels} Go!

{The skater does a long jump and finally clears the barrels. He gestures toward the screen as "15 CLEARED!" appears at the bottom.}

STRONG BAD: Yes, I did it!

{A short burst of noise plays.}

STRONG BAD: What was that? Was that my congratulations?

{The gameplay rewinds to before the barrel jump and replays. The skater gestures and the burst of noise plays again.}

STRONG BAD: A burst of TV static? When I wipe out, I get cool bonus animations, graphics, and sounds. But when I do an awesome job, I get somebody in the stands openin' a Cold One. {imitating} Pshhht!

{Cut to a spinning-globe info screen about "CLIFF DIVING". The icon has a man diving off a magenta cliff.}

STRONG BAD: Hey, let's jump off some cliffs!

{The screen shows a man in a speedo standing atop a rocky magenta cliff under a bright cyan-blue sky. A white marker flag is next to the man. A scale view of the cliff is in a white box at the top-left corner, and a long arrow next to it faces the right. "CONTESTANT" and "SELECT LEVEL" are at the bottom of the screen.}

STRONG BAD: Ooh, didn't say I'd be diving off cliffs of... pure ambrosia salad.

LADY: Oh, those cliffs look—

STRONG BAD: Watch it, lady!

LADY: Euh... Never mind. I can't even fake it with that stuff.

STRONG BAD: All right, "select level." {scrolls the diver's starting position down along the cliff} Where do we want to dive from?

{At the lowest starting point, Strong Bad notices a pelican at the bottom left corner.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, hello, my expectant pelican friend! {scrolls back up to the top of the cliff} Let's just go from the top; what's the point otherwise?

{Strong Bad presses a key. The scale view, arrow, and "SELECT LEVEL" disappear.}

STRONG BAD: Okay, here we go. {the man dives off} Vvvt!

{Strong Bad makes the diver fall toward the cliff.}

STRONG BAD: {grunts}

{The diver bounces off the cliff and tumbles into the magenta water below. He swims to the surface near the rock that the pelican is on, and floats there as the water level shifts.}

STRONG BAD: Doh-ho-ho! Sorry, man!

{The pelican shakes its head and the score appears as "FAULT".}

STRONG BAD: Thought I could dive into the ambrosia salad {the diver wipes his forehead} and get me a marshmallow. I guess not. Even the pelican is disappointed in me.

{The pelican turns and flies away to the left with two PC speaker chirps.}

STRONG BAD: Hey wait, come back! Whoa, check out that sweet treasure chest—

{Zoom in to a small black treasure chest at the bottom right corner.}

STRONG BAD: —down there! Oh man, that's gotta be the secret to this event. It's getting the treasure!

{The diver resets at the top of the cliff and dives.}

STRONG BAD: {imitating Dangeresque} Looks like I'm gonna have to cliff-jump! ...Get treasure!

{The diver hits the water's surface but also the sea floor below, getting his head stuck in the ground for a moment. The pelican covers its eyes with its wing.}

STRONG BAD: Ohhh-ho-ho! {the diver recovers and swims to the surface, and gets another "FAULT"} That— I did not get the treasure. Unless permanent spinal damage is the treasure. I guess you gotta, like, pull up after you go into the water.

{The diver resets at the top.}

STRONG BAD: All right, we'll try again and I'll mash some more buttons. Here we go. Speedo leap!

{The diver jumps off the cliff.}

STRONG BAD: And pull up!

{Strong Bad presses a key just before the diver hits the water, cuing the diver to avoid hitting the sea floor and head toward the surface right away.}

STRONG BAD: Yes!

{The pelican nods and "SCORE 81" appears in the corner.}

STRONG BAD: Buddy Peli approves! {the diver triumphantly gestures} Thank you, Peli! That's all I want to do in this ambrosia cliff world... is to gain your approval, Peli!

{With a single chirp, the pelican turns and flies away as before.}

STRONG BAD: Wait, wh-where you going? What did I do to offend thee? All right that's it! My goal in this event is to get over there to that pelican...

{The diver resets.}

STRONG BAD: —and... dine with him. Jump! {the diver jumps but doesn't turn toward the water} Glide! Go, go, c'mon, more, MORE!

{The diver belly-flops on the water and gets a "FAULT".}

STRONG BAD: Gaaahhh!

{The diver slowly lands on the sea floor and then swims to the surface. The pelican shakes its head.}

STRONG BAD: The wind was against me. I c— I can do this! I will have my peli-luncheon.

{The diver resets and jumps.}

STRONG BAD: Majestic leap! Go, go, go, luncheon, luncheon! {the diver belly-flops} Daaagh! What kind of a sadistic game teases you with a delightful pelican lunch-make {the pelican flies away} and won't let you actually have the lunch?

{Strong Bad answers "NO" to the "PRACTICE AGAIN?" prompt. Cut to an info screen about "LOG ROLLING", which is on screen for a brief moment.}

{Cut to a screen with two lumberjacks rolling on a log with magenta and white stripes atop bright blue water. One lumberjack is wearing a toque while the other is bald. There are two balance meters at the bottom of the screen with small white rectangles at the center of each. "CONTESTANT", a numeric stopwatch, and "COMPUTER" are at the bottom of the screen.}

STRONG BAD: All right, on to log rolling. Look at these giant luscious graphics! And these burly lumberjacks!

{The toqued lumberjack on the left struggles to stay on. Strong Bad's balance meter fills with magenta rectangles to the right. His lumberjack flips forward in midair and falls into the water with a big splash.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa, wait— I... don't even know what I was doing! What the crap!?

{The toqued lumberjack surfaces from the water and shakes his head. A burst of noise plays as a shark fin begins to circle around the toqued lumberjack. The bald lumberjack, on the log, begins to gesture his clasped hands from side to side.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, and a rare Canadian river shark {chuckling} is gonna eat me. Hey, my opponent's doing that weird self-clasping handshake thing. I always call that "potatocakes". Anybody else call that "doing potatocakes"? When you, like, win?

{The log rolling game resets with both lumberjacks on the striped log.}

STRONG BAD: Why are we log-rolling on a giant peppermint stick? Is that what candy canes look like in Canada? Cana-dy canes? All right, what am I doing?

{Strong Bad's balance meter is filled with rectangles halfway to the left.}

STRONG BAD: I see meters at the bottom... and I don't understand what I want. {the lumberjacks roll faster and faster as key presses are heard} Do I want it to go up or down?

{Strong Bad gets his balance meter into the center.}

STRONG BAD: {rhythmically} Dugga, dugga, dugga, dugga. Log, rolling, on a peppermint stick, trying to make my bald friend flip, into the water now!

{As Strong Bad's balance meter begins to fill to the right, the toqued lumberjack begins to gesture and kick wildly as he struggles to stay on. Low-pitched PC speaker sounds begin to play.}

STRONG BAD: It's like the DJ breakdown! {imitating the PC speaker} Now now, nah, now, now. I wanna make my opponent go dow-dow! Come on, {imitating} dehw dehw...

{Strong Bad's balance meter suddenly fills over to the left and the toqued lumberjack falls backwards into the water.}

STRONG BAD: Deh d— Oh, okay, nope, lost. Into the juice.

{The game resets.}

STRONG BAD: Okay, here we go. {the lumberjacks start} Yes, it's young Santa Claus versus Rasputin the Mad Monk in a battle to the get-wet... on top of a weird factory-rejected candy cane!

{The computer's meter suddenly fills over to the right; the bald lumberjack flips forward in midair and splashes into the water.}

STRONG BAD: YES! Flipped him!

{The bald lumberjack surfaces from the water and shakes his head.}

STRONG BAD: I have no idea how I did it!

{A burst of noise plays. As the toqued lumberjack begins gesturing with clasped hands, a small submarine periscope circles around the bald one.}

STRONG BAD: And a submarine from the Canadian river navy is gonna... blow him up. Potatocakes, potatocakes!

{Cut to an info screen about "SUMO WRESTLING".}

STRONG BAD: All right, no more messin' around! Let's do sumo wrestling!

{Cut to a traditional sumo ring with two sumo wrestlers facing each other in the middle. The letter S in the word "Sumo" in the bottom is stylized with thick diagonal lines. PC speaker music starts.}

STRONG BAD: Check it out, the word "Sumo" is in the Limozeen font for some reason.

{A black T-shirt fades and slides upward from the bottom, with this "Sumo" logo in the colors of the Limozeen one; the letter S is in gold.}

LIMOZEEN: {voiceover} Suuu-mooooo!

{The shirt fades out. Strong Bad assigns his "contestant" position as the right-hand sumo wrestler.}

STRONG BAD: All right, sumos, what are we doing?

{The computer is assigned as the left-hand wrestler. The two begin to stomp their feet.}

STRONG BAD: Stomping! Stomping!

{The right-hand wrestler leans forward, touching his knuckles on the ground. He stands up.}

STRONG BAD: And then I tap down,

{The left-hand wrestler does the same.}

STRONG BAD: —and then you tap down. {his wrestler leans forward again and stays} And then I tap down, {the computer's wrestler does the same} and then you tap d—

{Strong Bad's sumo wrestler is tackled and pushed back by the computer's. Rapid key mashing is heard.}

STRONG BAD: —Hey, wait! Hangonasecond! Stop it! {unintelligible} Ohh!

{The computer's wrestler throws Strong Bad's wrestler onto the middle of the ring. The losing wrestler is on his stomach and gets plus-shaped eyes. A burst of noise plays.}

STRONG BAD: And you turned me into Sickly Sam.

{Sickly Sam's head curl and moustache appear on the losing sumo wrestler.}

SICKLY SAM: That was more affection than I've been shown in years!

{The sumo wrestlers reset positions.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} All right, let's go again. I got him this time. {the wrestlers stomp their legs} Leg stomps. Ready down hut set one blue forty two!

{The wrestlers lean on their knuckles and charge at each other. Strong Bad starts mashing keys.}

STRONG BAD: {unintelligible grunts} Scrum— Scrum him! I'm gonna scrum him real good!

{The computer's sumo wrestler hops up and pushes Strong Bad's wrestler down onto the floor before falling outside the ring. The computer wins.}

STRONG BAD: Yes! {burst of noise plays} Wait, why don't I win? But I totally threw him out of the ring! What the rules-have? This makes no sense!

{The wrestlers reset.}

STRONG BAD: All right I gotta get him this time! {the sumo wrestlers charge} Go! Flip him! {mashes keys} S-s-swat! Slap! Hundred handed slap! {imitating grunts} Hah hah hah hah hah hah hah!

{Strong Bad's sumo wrestler hops up and pushes down his opponent backwards before falling onto his stomach past him.}

STRONG BAD: Whooaa, {burst of noise plays} I did it!

{The bottom-right corner pops out, showing that the player-controlled "CONTESTANT" is the winner. Strong Bad's sumo wrestler gets plus-shaped eyes with small cyan-blue pixels.)

STRONG BAD: I got crazy robot eyes for winning. {his wrestler begins panting while his eyes turn black} And a little nap as a reward. {imitating} Hagh-too, hagh-too.

{Strong Bad presses a key. Cut to an info screen about the "CABER TOSS".}

STRONG BAD: All right, the caber toss seems like it'll have lots of opportunities for catastrophic failures.

{Cut to a bright cyan-blue landscape with tents, a rectangular stand, bagpipe players, and audience stands. A man wearing a kilt stands at the left and holds a tall caber with magenta and white stripes. "CONTESTANT" and "PRACTICE" are at the bottom. Blippy music starts.}

STRONG BAD: Ohh! An actually pleasant song. Just a kiss of the ol' gargle, as they probably say in the Highlands. At the c— at the circus, apparently.

{The kilted man begins walking forward with the striped caber.}

STRONG BAD: All right, Kiltyman. What are we doing with this giant pink Chick-O-Stick? {grunts} Oh. Twuhh!

{The man throws the caber up and ahead, falling onto his bottom in the process. It doesn't flip before it hits the ground, and the score is a "FAULT". A prompt reading "TRY AGAIN? Y" appears.}

STRONG BAD: Dawww. I didn't flip it at all!

{The man resets at the starting position with the caber. He begins to run.}

STRONG BAD: Maybe I need to get a longer run-up. Come on, ladybug kilt! ... Go, go, whoa, whoa, and toss!

{The man throws the caber and remains standing. The caber doesn't go very far. It rebounds off its other end and hits the man upon landing, leaving him hopping on one foot.}

STRONG BAD: Ohh-ho-ho-ho! Those are some broken toes right there.

{Reset to the starting position.}

STRONG BAD: All right, let's try no run-up. {the man walks with the caber} Go, go, oh, doh! No!

{The man lets go of the caber. The caber smashes the man into the ground before falling next to him. His head remains above the hole of magenta dirt.}

STRONG BAD: Wow! Oh man! Pounded right into the ground! Like the Kerrek to Rather Dashing, man!

{Another reset.}

STRONG BAD: I love this game! Why does that concession stand in the background say "BAN6ERS"? {pronounced "ban-six-ers"} What did the Sixers ever do? Oh wait, it says "BANGERS"! I want some bangers! Can I type {typing} get bangers?

{Nothing appears on the screen.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Trade Chick-O-Stick for bangers. {nothing appears} Come on! Ugh. One last try, let's see if we get anything for doing this properly. The crowd in the background will probably go "bwaah".

{The man starts to run.}

STRONG BAD: 'Kay. Go, go, go, and caber toss!

{With the caber pointing forward, the man throws it ahead. It flips around once; the other end hits the ground first before the caber lands flat. The measurement of 36' 5" appears on screen, and the "TRY AGAIN? Y" prompt does so a moment later.}

STRONG BAD: Nice! {the man faces the screen and dances as PC speaker music plays} Hey, a little dance! {singing} It's a type of a victory dance, Ladybug Kilt does a victory dance. Do, do do do do do do, do do!

{A magenta Kerrek with a black loincloth walks in from the right.}

STRONG BAD: And the Kerrek storms the field! {gargles the Peasant's Quest theme}

{Kerrek reaches the man and smashes him on the head. The man is pushed into the ground as before.}

STRONG BAD: Oof! Should've offered the Kerrek some bangers, man.

{Cut to an info screen about "BULL RIDING".}

STRONG BAD: All right, bull riding!

{Zoom into the icon for this info screen, depicting a cowboy with one hand raised riding a bull.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa, check out the mythical cowboy centaur {zoom back out} in the preview picture. I wanna do that event!

{A black screen briefly appears with "please wait ..." in brown text at the bottom. Cut to a mostly-red landscape with small background cars, cactus plants, fences, audience stands, and a rodeo booth with three people. The scenery throughout has brown and green highlights. "CONTESTANT" and "BULL: FERDINAND", along with a numeric stopwatch, are in brown text at the bottom. A rider sits atop a bull next to an open gate. PC speaker music starts with low beeps.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa, palette swap! That is jarring. {imitates a Southern accent} In Texas, we only see things in the taco seasoning spectrum. Who needs CMYK when you can have... GMCJ? That's guacamole, mole, cayenne and jalapeño. {normal voice} All right, bull, I hope you can gore and/or trample me in spectacular ways! Here we go!

{Strong Bad presses a key. The music stops. The bull goes very fast out of the gate and bucks its rider off in front of him, to the right. The rider rapidly and continuously shakes his head with multicolored pixels sparkling around. "SCORE: FAULT" and "PRACTICE AGAIN? YES" appears.}

STRONG BAD: Bll-l-l— Wha? I have no idea what just happened. There was no time to input any sort of control. All right, all right, let's try again. I at least want to feel like I did something.

{The game resets.}

STRONG BAD: {gibberish} {rider is thrown off} {gibberish} {rider is thrown off a second time} Pressthebutton! {rider is thrown off a third time} Pressallthebuttons! {rider is thrown off a fourth time} I'm gonna give it one more shot.

{One more reset. The rider stays on the very fast bull for a bit longer.}

STRONG BAD: Mashit! No andmash! Anddownandmash {gibberish} okay!

{The stopwatch reaches 00:32 when the rider is thrown off in front of the bull once again.}

STRONG BAD: Hey! Hey, that was pretty good. Seems like I got thrown off in pretty good fashion at the end.

{The last bull-riding round replays in slow motion.}

STRONG BAD: Let's slow it down and take another look. Oh yeah, look at him go. And {the bull turns to the left} there we go, flip! {the bull suddenly turns back} Ohh, man!

{The rider gets launched forward and bounces off the bull's head. His cowboy hat flies off and he lands on the ground with the sparkling pixels around his repeatedly-shaking head.}

STRONG BAD: Off the horns! I do wish they would let the bull trample you after the fact. I even got a cloud of taco seasoning spinning around my head as bait! Come on, {zoom in toward the rider} gore me! {zoom in more} Gore me!

{Cut to an info screen about "SLALOM SKIING".}

STRONG BAD: {monotone} Slalom skiing. {normal} I've been putting this one off 'cause it's the most boring-sounding of the games. It's just, like, a normal sport thing.

{Cut to the top of a ski course with a cyan and magenta "START" building, where a magenta skier waits. To the left are two skiers in black hats and clothes next to two pairs of skis stuck into the snow. Near the bottom of the screen is a gateway of cyan-blue flagpoles. The snow throughout the course is littered with black pixels. At the top, text shows a "SWISS TIME" stopwatch and a "BEST TIME" record. High-pitched PC speaker music starts.}

STRONG BAD: Ooh, I like this song, though. And look, there's a couple of dark elves over there on the left who showed up to cheer me on.

{Strong Bad presses a key. The music stops and the skier begins going down the course.}

STRONG BAD: All right, here we go!

{The skier goes through the first gate of blue flags. He then misses the next gate of magenta flags, and then crashes into one of the following blue flags. Rumbling low noise plays as the skier tumbles, leaves his skis behind, falls forward, and slows to a stop. The word "DISQUALIFIED" appears on screen, followed by a "TRY AGAIN? YES" prompt to the left of it.}

STRONG BAD: That's it? He just loses his skis and falls down? No compound fractures or... {restarts the game} frostbite or avalanches?

{Strong Bad makes the skier avoid the gateways, counting up a "MISSED" number. He heads straight for the left-hand side boundary.}

STRONG BAD: I don't wanna actually, like, successfully... slalom anything.

{The skier crashes against the boundary next to a group of spectating skiers. He tumbles and leaves his skis behind as before.}

STRONG BAD: I wanna gravely injure my skier!

{He restarts the game.}

STRONG BAD: Let's talk for a second about... the snow. You got a limited color palette, limited graphics, so...

{The skier goes sideways and slows down. A chunk of snow ahead makes him tumble again.}

STRONG BAD: The decision was: "Let's make the snow {restarts the game} look like black pepper gravy. It'll really add to the {singsong} real-i-sm!"

{The skier crashes into a magenta flagpole and tumbles.}

STRONG BAD: Ooh, {restarts} Black Pepper Gravy Mountain—

{A ski lift pass appears for Black Pepper Gravy Mountain. Dot matrix text on it reads, "2/18/87 Adult 2 day".}

STRONG BAD: —sounds like a fantastic resort location. Or what the King of Town eats for brunch.

{A menu slides in from the left, with the King of Town's moustache at the top:}

KING + TOWNE
Gravy Brunch

Black Pepper Gravy Mountain
...
Black Pepper Gravy Flight
...
Black Pepper Gravy Toast
...
Black Pepper Gravy IV

STRONG BAD: Wait, that's it! {the menu slides away to the right} I have a way to save this event!

{The skier goes down the course and starts avoiding the flagpole gates.}

STRONG BAD: You're racing down Black Pepper Gravy Mountain—

{A giant King of Town emerges, munching the area just behind the skier.}

STRONG BAD: —while an enormous King of Town devours it! Can you race to the bottom in time before he slurps you up?

THE KING OF TOWN: {munching noises} Slalom! {gulps} Flags! {gulps} Pokey! {gulps} Delicious! {munching noises}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Keep going, little guy! He's gaining on you!

{The King of Town disappears past the top of the screen as the skier passes the finish line.}

STRONG BAD: All right. I think I've squelched all I can out of slalom skiing. This is what happens when you put a regular sporting event in your "we hope you die at weird sporting events" game. Wellp, that's all the events! Now, time for the satisfying closing ceremonies!

{Cut to a "Final Standings" screen with a splat sound effect. Loadpast from SBA has 0 gold, silver, or bronze medals.}

STRONG BAD: Of course. Well, you all know there's only one thing I want out of this game anyways!

{Cut to the bottom of the Cliff Diving area. The pelican and the speedo-wearing diver are both on top of the small rock at the left. The diver is eating some food on a black plate.}

{The pelican nods and chirps his PC speaker sound.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover, as the diver} Oh, it's so delightful here, Peli. {the pelican chirps} The sea breeze off the water gives me goose flesh! And I had no idea you could substitute abalone in tuna salad!

{The pelican nods and chirps twice.}

{Cut to a fake YouTube autoplay screen: "Peasant's Quest CGA full playthru - CYAN TROGDOR?!"}

{Cut to the Caber Toss area. The kilted man walks in carrying a giant color Cheerleader. He throws her forward.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} CABER TOSSED!! Tonk! Ponk!

{The score of "23 meters?" flashes a few times at the bottom right corner.}

MAN: {with speech bubble} BAGH! Only 23 metres!

{Cut to the Barrel Jumping ice rink. The ice skater starts to move.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Here we go. Do, do, do, do, do! Jump!

{The skater jumps over a row of ten barrels. "10 CLEARED!" appears at the bottom.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Yeees! Stop on a dime!

{Powered By The Cheat Bubs appears from behind the audience stands.}

PbTC BUBS: Hey, Strong Bad, you jumped over ten of my barrels!

{"A new record!! 10 barrels!!" appears in Powered By The Cheat-style text across the ice.}

Fun Facts

Explanations

  • The song Strong Bad calls "The More We Hail the Bus Driver" is the 1679 Viennese folk song "O du lieber Augustin". The melody was later repurposed for the children's song "The More We Get Together" and the Irish folk song Did You Ever See A Lassie?.
  • Borscht is a red beet soup originally created in Ukraine, and commonly served in Eastern Europe and the countries of the former Russian Empire.
  • "Bangers" is British slang for sausages.
  • The CMYK color model is used in color printing and refers to cyan, magenta, yellow, and key (black) colors.
    • In the Color Graphics Adapter (CGA) display standard for old computer games, one color palette uses cyan, magenta, and white. The other palette, used in the Bull Riding game, uses green, red, and brown.
  • Mole is a type of sauce used in Mexican cuisine.
  • Abalone are marine gastropod mollusks (AKA marine snails) that are often harvested by coastal and island nations throughout the world as a foodstuff.

Trivia

  • World Games was previewed in a @StrongBadActual Tweet on 1 Feb 2020. Some lines were changed; one of them is now "Looks like I'm gonna have to cliff-jump!" instead of "cliff-dive".
  • Strong Bad gets a total of 1125 "Wipeout Style Points".
  • Six consecutive 360s, or full rotations, would add up to a total of 2160 degrees of rotation.

Remarks

  • Much like in Teen Girl Squad Issue 10, the purpose of caber tossing is misrepresented. It is not to throw the log as far as possible, but rather to throw it end-over-end as well as possible. Ironically, it is Strong Bad who mentions flipping the log, and the game that grades him on distance tossed.
  • The bursts of noise heard after clearing events, and the impossibly fast bull riding speed are caused by timing/cycles issues in the emulator used to play the game. Lower cycle speeds would let the PC speaker noise mimic some loud applause.
  • The double-digit number in the "Final Standings" screen, shown after a "compete in all the events" session, represents the amount of points gained by earning medals rather than the total number of medals.

Goofs

  • During the weightlifting segment, from 3:19 until 3:55, a tiny cursor can be seen near the rightmost pair of rounded squares on the stage.

Inside References

Real-World References

  • Continental Airlines, founded in 1937, was one of the biggest airlines in the world until it merged with United in 2012.
    • The logo seen in the game is the one used by the company from 1967-1991. Strong Bad compares it to the Atari logo rotated 90 degrees.
  • During the Sumo game, Strong Bad brings up the Hundred-Hand Slap, one of E. Honda's attacks since Street Fighter II.
  • Fatalities are the finishing moves in the Mortal Kombat series.
  • Strong Bad compares the magenta water in the Barrel Jumping ice rink to Pepto-Bismol, a pink liquid antacid used to treat digestive issues and heartburn.
  • Strong Bad mentions King Graham from Sierra's King's Quest.
  • The "Sixers" may be a reference to the Philadelphia 76ers NBA team.
  • Chick-O-Stick is an of orange candy stick.

External Links

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