Dangeresque Roomisode 1: Behind the Dangerdesque Responses

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(Use on Blinds (Or on Object on Windowsill))
m (Use on Casefile: all caps)
(includes 40 intermediate revisions)
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{{spoiler}}
{{spoiler}}
 +
 +
== Videlectrix Start Screen ==
 +
:''{Dangeresque and Renaldo drive underneath the Videlectrix start screen in a car. The car drives to a building with a sign with the word Warehaus. Dangeresque and Renaldo then get out of the car and head towards the door. The screen then switches to show a door with a sign stating, "No Kick", and kicking sounds is heard. The door then opens and Renaldo and Dangeresque are seen.}''
 +
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE''': Nobody do anything---Dangeresque!
 +
:''{Dangeresque fires the gun, and the screen switches over to the Title Screen. After a while, the screen transitions over to the Instructions.}''
 +
 +
== Mission Instructions ==
 +
:''{Dangeresque's sunglasses are next to the instructions.}''
 +
Use the W, A, S, D keys to move Dangeresque around. Click on stuff with your MOUSE to bring up the ACTION MENU! Click on your INVENTORY in the bottom right and select the item, then click an item in the world to use them together. CLICK ANYWHERE TO START
== Intro ==
== Intro ==
:''{Dangeresque walks into the room through the door, which is to the left of the room. While he's a short distance away from the door, Dangeresque gets on his tiptoes and extends his arms upward. The door closes while he does this. After it's done he stands normally.}''
:''{Dangeresque walks into the room through the door, which is to the left of the room. While he's a short distance away from the door, Dangeresque gets on his tiptoes and extends his arms upward. The door closes while he does this. After it's done he stands normally.}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{Faces to the right of the player}'' Man. That warehaus was full of action and suspense.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{Faces to the right of the player}'' Man. That warehaus was full of action and suspense.
-
:'''THE CHIEF:''' ''{Dangeresque faces to the left of the player, facing the door}'' DANGERESQUE! YOU'RE OUTTA LINE!
+
:'''THE CHIEF:''' DANGERESQUE! YOU'RE OUTTA LINE!
-
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Oh crap! It's the Chief! I was supposed to solve a case for him months ago.
+
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{Dangeresque faces to the left of the player, facing the door}'' Oh crap! It's the Chief! I was supposed to solve a case for him months ago.
:'''THE CHIEF:''' YOU'RE A LOOSE CANNON! A LONER! WHEN YOU'RE AROUND, PEOPLE GET HURT, DANGERESQUE!
:'''THE CHIEF:''' YOU'RE A LOOSE CANNON! A LONER! WHEN YOU'RE AROUND, PEOPLE GET HURT, DANGERESQUE!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Hey, that's what it says on my business cards!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Hey, that's what it says on my business cards!
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:''{Dangeresque jumps in a direction away from the player while in place, putting his hands in the air as he does so.}''
:''{Dangeresque jumps in a direction away from the player while in place, putting his hands in the air as he does so.}''
-
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{After he jumps}'' Hee hee! ''{As he says this, he nods his head.}''
+
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{After he jumps}'' Hee hee!
====Talk To====
====Talk To====
:''{Chosen in order}''
:''{Chosen in order}''
-
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{Faces away from the player.}'' Oh Dangeresque! You're so manly and my husband The Chief is so balding and football watchy. Let's keep making out
+
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{Faces away from the player.}'' Oh Dangeresque! You're so manly and my husband The Chief is so balding and football watchy. Let's keep making out.
:'''THE CHIEF:''' I'M NOT FALLIN' FOR THAT CRAP AGAIN! GLADYS HAS BEEN DEAD FOR 30 YEARS!
:'''THE CHIEF:''' I'M NOT FALLIN' FOR THAT CRAP AGAIN! GLADYS HAS BEEN DEAD FOR 30 YEARS!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Oh jeez. Uh, sorry The Chief.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Oh jeez. Uh, sorry The Chief.
:'''THE CHIEF:''' HA! JUST KIDDING! NO WOMAN WILL COME WITHIN 20 FEET OF ME!
:'''THE CHIEF:''' HA! JUST KIDDING! NO WOMAN WILL COME WITHIN 20 FEET OF ME!
-
:'''DANGERESQUE:'''  Um, touche'?
+
:'''DANGERESQUE:'''  Um, touché?
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{Faces away from the player.}'' Looks like I'm gonna have to juuuuuuump!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{Faces away from the player.}'' Looks like I'm gonna have to juuuuuuump!
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:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
:''{When rug corner is raised, lights on}''
:''{When rug corner is raised, lights on}''
-
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' There's something faintly scribbled on the floorboards.
+
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' There's something faintly scribbled on the floorboards. Can't make it out.
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
:''{When rug corner is raised, lights off and blinds open}''
:''{When rug corner is raised, lights off and blinds open}''
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:'''DANGERESQUE:''' The Dangerdesque is built to withstand gunshots, slammed-down badges, and impromptu makeouts with femme fatales.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' The Dangerdesque is built to withstand gunshots, slammed-down badges, and impromptu makeouts with femme fatales.
====Get/Use====
====Get/Use====
-
:''{When desque is closed}''
+
:''{When drawer is closed}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' This whole system is outta line!!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' This whole system is outta line!!
-
:''{pounds the desque, which pops open}''
+
:''{pounds the desktop, which causes the drawer to pop open}''
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
-
:''{When desque is open}''
+
:''{When drawer is open}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Policy?! How did policy help that poor innocent girl?!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Policy?! How did policy help that poor innocent girl?!
-
:''{pounds the desque, which closes}''
+
:''{pounds the desktop, which causes the drawer to close}''
 +
 
====Talk To====
====Talk To====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Excuse me my good Dangerdesque... Do you know the times?
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Excuse me my good Dangerdesque... Do you know the times?
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:'''DANGERESQUE:''' No more turkish twist. I have my bag of whoozit.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' No more turkish twist. I have my bag of whoozit.
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
-
:''{if desque drawer is open}''
+
:''{if drawer of the Dangerdesque is open}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I should close the drawer first to avoid sitting in the drawer instead.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I should close the drawer first to avoid sitting in the drawer instead.
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===Casefile===
===Casefile===
 +
====Look====
====Look====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Let's see what I need to do to pretend-solve you...
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Let's see what I need to do to pretend-solve you...
-
:''{Cut to a shot of the inside of the casefile. When the player clicks the mouse, scene cuts back to the office}''
+
:''{Cut to a shot of the inside of the casefile, which reads:}''
 +
<blockquote style="border-left:solid 2px gray;border-top:solid 2px gray;width:400px;font-size:125%;background-color:#DDDDDD;">
 +
<br />
 +
<span style="font-family:'Courier New',Courier,monospace;border-bottom:solid 1px gray;">'''The Swissblonkel Scenario'''</span><br />
 +
<span style="font-size:90%">'''Unknown masked assailant attacked victim'''<br />
 +
'''at the Swissblonkel Hotel stealing documents,'''<br />
 +
'''secrets, and notions. Left physical evidence at'''<br/ >
 +
<span style="border-bottom:solid 1px gray;">'''scene (vomit, upchuck, whoozit).'''</span></span><br />
 +
<span style="font-size:75%;">'''Reasons it remains unsolved:'''<br />
 +
<span style="color:#880000;">
 +
'''-Need photographic evidence of the attack'''<br />
 +
'''-Need physical evidence that was left behind'''<br />
 +
'''-Need this case file to have SOLVED stamp on it'''
 +
</span>
 +
</span>
 +
</blockquote>
 +
:''{When the player clicks the mouse, scene cuts back to the office}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' That sounds easy enough. I've faked ID's harder than this.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' That sounds easy enough. I've faked ID's harder than this.
====Get/Use====
====Get/Use====
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==Inventory==
==Inventory==
-
{{sectionstub}}
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===Camera===
===Camera===
====While it's in the safe====
====While it's in the safe====
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:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Well, one hideous sack deserves another. I'm not takin' this shot.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Well, one hideous sack deserves another. I'm not takin' this shot.
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
-
:''{With takeout on windowsill''
+
:''{With takeout on windowsill}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
:''{Cut to view out of window at Strong Sad's apartment}''
:''{Cut to view out of window at Strong Sad's apartment}''
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:''{After it's dislodged, either on the safe or on the windowsill}''
:''{After it's dislodged, either on the safe or on the windowsill}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Good idea. Never know when you might need to make somebody puke.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Good idea. Never know when you might need to make somebody puke.
 +
:''{Takeout is added to inventory}''
=====Talk To=====
=====Talk To=====
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:''{With nothing on windowsill}''
:''{With nothing on windowsill}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Yeah, I should prolly air this stuff out a bit.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Yeah, I should prolly air this stuff out a bit.
 +
:''{Places takeout on the windowsill}''
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
:''{With something already on windowsill}''
:''{With something already on windowsill}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' There's already something up there.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' There's already something up there.
 +
====Use on Casefile====
====Use on Casefile====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' This takeout is basically puke waiting to happen, maybe it can be the physical evidence for The Chief's case.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' This takeout is basically puke waiting to happen, maybe it can be the physical evidence for The Chief's case.
:''{Puts takeout in casefile, casefile is now stained brown}''
:''{Puts takeout in casefile, casefile is now stained brown}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Aw Chunkblow! It just made it all gross and stuck together. Now I'll never pretend to solve it!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Aw Chunkblow! It just made it all gross and stuck together. Now I'll never pretend to solve it!
-
:'''The Chief:''' I HEARD THAT KOWALSKI! TURN IN YOUR BADGE!
+
:'''THE CHIEF:''' I HEARD THAT KOWALSKI! TURN IN YOUR BADGE!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Um, who?
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Um, who?
-
:'''The Chief:''' OH. I MEAN DANGERESQUE.
+
:'''THE CHIEF:''' OH. I MEAN DANGERESQUE.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Crap.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Crap.
:''{Game Over sequence}''
:''{Game Over sequence}''
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====Use on Anything Else====
====Use on Anything Else====
 +
:''{Before use on Dangeresque}''
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Ancient Chinese Secret: ancient chinese takeout won't help here.
 +
:''{After use on Dangeresque}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' That doesn't need to feel the fury of a Dragon Man doing Kung-Fu.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' That doesn't need to feel the fury of a Dragon Man doing Kung-Fu.
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:''{With nothing on windowsill}''
:''{With nothing on windowsill}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Gramma used to do this to cool hers off.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Gramma used to do this to cool hers off.
 +
:''{Places bag of whoozit on windowsill}''
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
:''{With something already on windowsill}''
:''{With something already on windowsill}''
Line 411: Line 446:
:''{Dangeresque takes bag from window.}''
:''{Dangeresque takes bag from window.}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Bag 'em up, Chuck.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Bag 'em up, Chuck.
 +
:''{Bag of whoozit is added to inventory}''
=====Talk To=====
=====Talk To=====
Line 419: Line 455:
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{thinking}'' Urp... almost made a second batch.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{thinking}'' Urp... almost made a second batch.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Good enough for crooked government work! I mean, who's to say whose whoosit is whose?
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Good enough for crooked government work! I mean, who's to say whose whoosit is whose?
 +
:''{Bag of whoozit is removed from inventory}''
====Use on Anything Else====
====Use on Anything Else====
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:''{With nothing on windowsill}''
:''{With nothing on windowsill}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Sure. maybe I can poison a few pigeons.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Sure. maybe I can poison a few pigeons.
 +
:''{Places coffee of windowsill}''
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
:''{With something already on windowsill}''
:''{With something already on windowsill}''
Line 453: Line 491:
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Ugh.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Ugh.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{thinking}'' THAT's gonna stick with me for a while.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{thinking}'' THAT's gonna stick with me for a while.
 +
:''{Coffee is removed from inventory}''
 +
====Use on Anything Else====
====Use on Anything Else====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Naw. Pouring old coffee on that won't help. What a surprise.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Naw. Pouring old coffee on that won't help. What a surprise.
Line 458: Line 498:
===Photo of crime===
===Photo of crime===
====Use on Blinds====
====Use on Blinds====
 +
:''{With blinds closed}''
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I should open the blinds first.
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:''{With nothing on windowsill}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Whoa! This is like staring at infinity! Fat, gray, lazy infinity.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Whoa! This is like staring at infinity! Fat, gray, lazy infinity.
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:''{With something already on windowsill}''
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' There's already something up there.
 +
====Use on Casefile====
====Use on Casefile====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' That photographic evidence makes some pretty good photographic evidence!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' That photographic evidence makes some pretty good photographic evidence!
 +
:''{Photo is removed from inventory}''
 +
====Use on Anything Else====
====Use on Anything Else====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I should really put this in the casefile.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I should really put this in the casefile.
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:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
:''{There is no response when taking the stamp from the window.}''
:''{There is no response when taking the stamp from the window.}''
 +
:''{UNSOLVED stamp is added to inventory}''
 +
=====Talk To=====
=====Talk To=====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' *grumble* Hi, stamp.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' *grumble* Hi, stamp.
Line 480: Line 532:
:''{When dry}''
:''{When dry}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I could try and make this UNSOLVED stamp work, but I gots no ink!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I could try and make this UNSOLVED stamp work, but I gots no ink!
-
:{{short hr}''
+
:{{short hr}}''
:''{When inked}''
:''{When inked}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Okay, let's see if I can make this work. I only got one shot at this.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Okay, let's see if I can make this work. I only got one shot at this.
Line 490: Line 542:
::''{When stamped correctly}''
::''{When stamped correctly}''
::'''DANGERESQUE:''' That was genius! Almost as good as that time I turned that 00% on that algebra test into 1000%.
::'''DANGERESQUE:''' That was genius! Almost as good as that time I turned that 00% on that algebra test into 1000%.
 +
====Use on Dangeresque====
====Use on Dangeresque====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' No way! The MAN's always tryin' to stamp me down!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' No way! The MAN's always tryin' to stamp me down!
Line 504: Line 557:
====Use on Sweet/Sour Sauce (Only When Dry)====
====Use on Sweet/Sour Sauce (Only When Dry)====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Hey, this rancid sweet n' sour sauce makes some nice red ink!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Hey, this rancid sweet n' sour sauce makes some nice red ink!
 +
:''{Dry UNSOLVED stamp becomes an inked UNSOLVED stamp}''
 +
====Use on Anything Else====
====Use on Anything Else====
:''{When dry}''
:''{When dry}''
Line 523: Line 578:
== Game Over ==
== Game Over ==
-
:{''Cut to an outdoor scene; it is still night. A Police Paddy Wagon, with Dangeresque in the back, drives up to a building marked "Jail!" The gate opens, the vehicle drives inside, and the gate shuts. Cut to Dangeresque, dressed in a prisoner's outfit, sitting in a dimly lit cell. The words "Game Over" appear above him in Dangeresque Font. When you click the mouse, however, it cuts to a black screen with either of the phrases that are listed below in Dangeresque Font.}''
+
:{''Cut to an outdoor scene; it is still night. A Police Paddy Wagon marked "Hoose Gow", with Dangeresque in the back, drives up to a building marked "Jail!" The gate opens, the vehicle drives inside, and the gate shuts. Cut to Dangeresque, dressed in a prisoner's outfit, sitting in a dimly lit cell. The words "Game Over" appear above him in Dangeresque Font. When you click the mouse, however, it cuts to a black screen with either of the phrases that are listed below in Dangeresque Font.}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{In compressed audio}'' Or did I?
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{In compressed audio}'' Or did I?
Line 547: Line 602:
:''{After completing all three objectives}''
:''{After completing all three objectives}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Well, that's all the requirements. Let's see if The Chief buys this crap.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Well, that's all the requirements. Let's see if The Chief buys this crap.
-
:''{Cut to shot of the door. The silohettes of the Chief and Dangeresque can be seen through it.}''  
+
:''{Cut to shot of the door. The silhouettes of the Chief and Dangeresque can be seen through it.}''  
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Here you go, Chiefy! Sorry bout the wait. Someone stuck a barracuda in my desk.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Here you go, Chiefy! Sorry bout the wait. Someone stuck a barracuda in my desk.
:'''THE CHIEF:''' I KNEW YOU'D COME THROUGH, DANGERESQUE. YOUR METHODS MAY BE QUESTIONABLE BUT YOU ALWAYS GET RESULTS!
:'''THE CHIEF:''' I KNEW YOU'D COME THROUGH, DANGERESQUE. YOUR METHODS MAY BE QUESTIONABLE BUT YOU ALWAYS GET RESULTS!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Thanks The Chief. I'll just get going then.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Thanks The Chief. I'll just get going then.
-
:'''THE CHIEF:''' WHATAMINUTE?!! THIS ISN'T A PICTURE OF THE VICTIM! WHO'S THE CRAP'S THIS GREYSCALE SCHLUB?
+
:'''THE CHIEF:''' WAITAMINUTE?!! THIS ISN'T A PICTURE OF THE VICTIM! WHO'S THE CRAP'S THIS GREYSCALE SCHLUB?
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Uh oh.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Uh oh.
:''{Cut back to office. Dangeresque re-enters}''
:''{Cut back to office. Dangeresque re-enters}''
Line 558: Line 613:
-
{{stub}}
+
 
{{Dangeresque}}
{{Dangeresque}}
[[Category:Video Game Responses]]
[[Category:Video Game Responses]]

Revision as of 07:15, 19 December 2014

"How did policy help that poor innocent girl?!"

These are all of the responses in Dangeresque Roomisode 1: Behind the Dangerdesque.

Spoiler warning: Plot or ending details follow.

Contents

Videlectrix Start Screen

{Dangeresque and Renaldo drive underneath the Videlectrix start screen in a car. The car drives to a building with a sign with the word Warehaus. Dangeresque and Renaldo then get out of the car and head towards the door. The screen then switches to show a door with a sign stating, "No Kick", and kicking sounds is heard. The door then opens and Renaldo and Dangeresque are seen.}
DANGERESQUE: Nobody do anything---Dangeresque!
{Dangeresque fires the gun, and the screen switches over to the Title Screen. After a while, the screen transitions over to the Instructions.}

Mission Instructions

{Dangeresque's sunglasses are next to the instructions.}

Use the W, A, S, D keys to move Dangeresque around. Click on stuff with your MOUSE to bring up the ACTION MENU! Click on your INVENTORY in the bottom right and select the item, then click an item in the world to use them together. CLICK ANYWHERE TO START

Intro

{Dangeresque walks into the room through the door, which is to the left of the room. While he's a short distance away from the door, Dangeresque gets on his tiptoes and extends his arms upward. The door closes while he does this. After it's done he stands normally.}
DANGERESQUE: {Faces to the right of the player} Man. That warehaus was full of action and suspense.
THE CHIEF: DANGERESQUE! YOU'RE OUTTA LINE!
DANGERESQUE: {Dangeresque faces to the left of the player, facing the door} Oh crap! It's the Chief! I was supposed to solve a case for him months ago.
THE CHIEF: YOU'RE A LOOSE CANNON! A LONER! WHEN YOU'RE AROUND, PEOPLE GET HURT, DANGERESQUE!
DANGERESQUE: Hey, that's what it says on my business cards!
THE CHIEF: IF YOU DON'T WALK OUT THIS DOOR WITH MY CASE SOLVED, I'M LOCKIN' YOU UP!
DANGERESQUE: {Faces towards the player.} Sounds like he means it. Better try and "solve" his case, quick.
DANGERESQUE: {Faces to the right of the player and thinking, with his head angled upwards and a glove on his chin.} Now where'd I put that case file...

Non-Inventory

Dangeresque

Look

{Chosen in order.}
DANGERESQUE: Do these laces make my head look husky?

DANGERESQUE: I look ready for love, a gunfight, a car chase, and a small salad all at once!

DANGERESQUE: Who's the expensive action star with the cheapest costume ever-DANGERESQUE! Ooh, you dang right.

Get/Use

{Dangeresque jumps in a direction away from the player while in place, putting his hands in the air as he does so.}
DANGERESQUE: {After he jumps} Hee hee!

Talk To

{Chosen in order}
DANGERESQUE: {Faces away from the player.} Oh Dangeresque! You're so manly and my husband The Chief is so balding and football watchy. Let's keep making out.
THE CHIEF: I'M NOT FALLIN' FOR THAT CRAP AGAIN! GLADYS HAS BEEN DEAD FOR 30 YEARS!
DANGERESQUE: Oh jeez. Uh, sorry The Chief.
THE CHIEF: HA! JUST KIDDING! NO WOMAN WILL COME WITHIN 20 FEET OF ME!
DANGERESQUE: Um, touché?

DANGERESQUE: {Faces away from the player.} Looks like I'm gonna have to juuuuuuump!
THE CHIEF: HE'S JUMPIN' OUT THE WINDOW! CALL FOR BACKUP! SEAL OFF THE BUILDING! TAKE THE SHOT!
DANGERESQUE: Heh heh. I love doin' that.
THE CHIEF: HEY!

DANGERESQUE: {Faces to the player's left.} You think you're real hot stuff around here don't you Dangeresque?
DANGERESQUE: {Faces to the player's right.} Hotter than you, Kowalski.
DANGERESQUE: {Faces to the player's left.} You wanna go toe to toe with me?!
DANGERESQUE: {Faces to the player's right.} I'd probably get athlete's foot.
DANGERESQUE: {Faces to the player's left.} Heh. You're alright Dangeresque. You're aaall riiiight.

Lamp

Look

DANGERESQUE: You just keep doing your swing thing, man. Swing it out.

Get/Use

DANGERESQUE: Prolly just use the switch, no?

Talk To

DANGERESQUE: Excuse me my good Lamp... Do you know the times?

Switch

Look

DANGERESQUE: It was expensive but I finally upgraded to include the OFF package.

Get/Use

{When light is on; Dangeresque goes to the switch and turns it off}
DANGERESQUE: Better make it more romantic in here in case a leggy dame stops by.
VOICE FROM OUTSIDE OFFICE: Hey! Don't discount my gams! I'm on the stairmaster all the time!
DANGERESQUE: Quiet you!

{When light is off; Dangeresque goes to the switch and turns it on}
DANGERESQUE: Yeah, it's kinda hard to see. My cool, cool nightvision goggles are in the shop.

Talk To

DANGERESQUE: Dangeresque doesn't RAVE, switchy.

Rug

Look

{When rug is flat}
DANGERESQUE: Got this for 10 bucks at a "Rugs 4 Thugs" auction. All proceeds benefit underpriviledged mid-level enforcers everywhere!

{When rug corner is raised, lights on}
DANGERESQUE: There's something faintly scribbled on the floorboards. Can't make it out.

{When rug corner is raised, lights off and blinds open}
DANGERESQUE: I can't see anything under the rug in all this moonlight.

{When rug corner is raised, lights off and blinds closed}
DANGERESQUE: Hey! It's the combination to my safe! 73!
DANGERESQUE: {thinking} I forgot I wrote it in invisible, glow-in-the-dark ink!

Get/Use

{When rug is flat; Dangeresque lifts corner of the rug}
DANGERESQUE: Hands up, Floor!

{When rug corner is raised; Dangeresque flattens out the rug}
DANGERESQUE: Go away, small part of floor!

Talk To

{When rug is flat}
DANGERESQUE: Lookin' rectangulous, rug.

{When rug corner is raised}
DANGERESQUE: Freeze, dust mites!

Door

Look

DANGERESQUE: It says, "EUQSEREGNAD". And there's a The Chief seething behind it.
DANGERESQUE: {thinking} Man, listen to that guy seethe.

Get/Use

{Chosen in order}
DANGERESQUE: I better solve the Chief's case first.

DANGERESQUE: I REALLY better solve the Chief's case first.
THE CHIEF: YEAH YOU BETTER!
DANGERESQUE: {thinking} I really better stop talking to myself so loud.
THE CHIEF: YEAH YOU BETTER!

DANGERESQUE: Yeah, y'know what? Screw this! Dangeresque doesn't take orders from anybody!
{opens door}
THE CHIEF: IZZAT SO?
DANGERESQUE: Oh, hi giant SWAT team. What's up?
{A giant hand in a blue glove reaches in and grabs Dangeresque and pulls him from the room. Game Over sequence.}

Talk To

{Chosen in order}
DANGERESQUE: What did you want again, The Chief?
THE CHIEF: YOU SOLVE MY FRIGGIN' CASE RIGHT NOW OR I'M TAKIN' YOU TO THE HOOSEGOW!
DANGERESQUE: Oh right. Forgot already.

DANGERESQUE: Hey, The Chief, do you respect me as an artist?
THE CHIEF: SOLVE MY FRIKKIN' CASE ALREADY!!
DANGERESQUE: Sorry. My bad. Admittedly, that was off-topic.

DANGERESQUE: What's a 7-letter word for "to shamble one down"?
THE CHIEF: I'LL SHAMBLE YOU DOWN IN THE STATE PEN!
{banging on the door, which bursts open}
DANGERESQUE: {to the player} I bring-a this on-a myself.
{Game Over sequence}

Blinds

Look

{When closed}
DANGERESQUE: These blinds are keeping me from seeing the city at large.

{When open}
DANGERESQUE: Man, that city is SO at large. And so is that fat guy watching TV in that apartment over there.

Get/Use

{If the windowsill is empty}
DANGERESQUE: You got it, hoss.
{If blinds are closed, opens blinds; if blinds are open, closes blinds}

{If something is on the windowsill}
DANGERESQUE: I should pick that thing up first.

Talk To

{When closed}
DANGERESQUE: Thanks for providing the appropriate noir atmosphere, blinds.

{When open}
DANGERESQUE: HEY FAT GUY WATCHING TV!! Nope, can't hear me.

Ashtray

Look

DANGERESQUE: It's an ashtray. The ash meter is on 'E'

Get/Use

DANGERESQUE: No thanks. That would get me all ashen. Faced.

Talk To

DANGERESQUE: Your ash is grash!

Dangerdesque

Look

DANGERESQUE: The Dangerdesque is built to withstand gunshots, slammed-down badges, and impromptu makeouts with femme fatales.

Get/Use

{When drawer is closed}
DANGERESQUE: This whole system is outta line!!
{pounds the desktop, which causes the drawer to pop open}

{When drawer is open}
DANGERESQUE: Policy?! How did policy help that poor innocent girl?!
{pounds the desktop, which causes the drawer to close}

Talk To

DANGERESQUE: Excuse me my good Dangerdesque... Do you know the times?

Safe

Look

{When safe is closed, or when safe is open, after taking camera}
DANGERESQUE: Look safe? It looks safe.

{When safe is open, before taking camera}
DANGERESQUE: Look safe? It looks safe. There's a camera all up in there!

Get/Use

{Before finding the combination}
DANGERESQUE: Crapdangle! I forgot the 2-digit combination.
DANGERESQUE: {thinking} Maybe I wrote it down somewhere.

{After finding the combination, opening for the first time}
DANGERESQUE: Dangcrapple! I remembered the combination!
{Opens safe}

{After first opening, when safe is closed}
DANGERESQUE: Open safe. Sounds like some kinda doorknob.

{When safe is open; closing safe}
DANGERESQUE: Close safe. Sounds like some kinda laundry detergent.

Talk To

DANGERESQUE: Dangeresque NEVER plays it safe!

Telephone

Look

DANGERESQUE: This phone helps me take a proverbial bite out of proverbial crime.

Get/Use

{When you don't have the number, or after Pom Pom dislodges the takeout from the safetop}
DANGERESQUE: We're sending help immediately, Mrs. Fletcher!

{When you have the number, before trying to take the take-out from the top of the safe}
DANGERESQUE: Hello? Kung-Fu Dragon? I, uh, just wanted to say what a cool name you have. Okay, bye.
{Hangs up}
DANGERESQUE: {thinking} Prolly should have a reason to call them first.

{When you have the number, after trying to take the take-out from the top of the safe}
DANGERESQUE: Hello? Kung-Fu Dragon? I have a take-out tech support issue. A Take Support issue, if you will. Can you send a specialist right away? Thanks!
{Hangs up. Pom Pom peeks in the window, then jumps in and kicks the takeout off of the safe, and jumps back out the window}
DANGERESQUE: Nice!
DANGERESQUE: {thinking} Note to self: don't ever mess with the takeout delivery guy.

Talk To

{Same as Get/Use.}

Chair

Look

DANGERESQUE: I've slept more hours in that office chair than I have in beds. You just can't slouch properly in a bed.

Get/Use

DANGERESQUE: Oooh I love this! Whee!
{Jumps into the chair, spinning it for a few seconds. Gets off}
{Before drinking the coffee or eating the Chinese take-out}
DANGERESQUE: Whoa! Feelin' woozy.

{After only eating the Chinese take-out}
DANGERESQUE: Uh oh. *burp* That was close. Almost had the Return of the Kung-Fu Dragon there.

{After only drinking the coffee}
DANGERESQUE: Oh jeez. *urp* Phew. The 2 year old creamer in that coffee doesn't fool around.

{After both drinking the coffee and eating the Chinese take-out}
DANGERESQUE: Aw nuts. *hurk* Here comes trouble.
{Turns away from player to puke, turns back with puke-filled paper bag}
DANGERESQUE: I'll just, uh, send this to the "boys" down at the, um, "lab".
{Bag of whoozit is added to inventory}

{After puking}
DANGERESQUE: No more turkish twist. I have my bag of whoozit.

{if drawer of the Dangerdesque is open}
DANGERESQUE: I should close the drawer first to avoid sitting in the drawer instead.

Talk To

DANGERESQUE: GET BACK TO WORK, CHAIR!

Sweet/Sour Sauce

Look

DANGERESQUE: Eww. Looks like some sweet n' sour sauce oozed onto my safe.

Get/Use

DANGERESQUE: I'm not layin' a glove on that stuff! It'd probably get stuck there.

Talk To

DANGERESQUE: Don't gimme none o' your talk-sauce!

Biz Card

Look

{First time}
DANGERESQUE: Hey! It's the number for Kung-Fu Dragon takeout! 555-KUFU. I can remember that.

{after first time}
DANGERESQUE: I already got those digits memorized. And I like how it looks on the floor.

Get/Use

{Same as Look}

Talk To

DANGERESQUE: STAY DOWN!

Casefile

Look

DANGERESQUE: Let's see what I need to do to pretend-solve you...
{Cut to a shot of the inside of the casefile, which reads:}

The Swissblonkel Scenario
Unknown masked assailant attacked victim
at the Swissblonkel Hotel stealing documents,
secrets, and notions. Left physical evidence at
scene (vomit, upchuck, whoozit).

Reasons it remains unsolved:
-Need photographic evidence of the attack
-Need physical evidence that was left behind
-Need this case file to have SOLVED stamp on it
{When the player clicks the mouse, scene cuts back to the office}
DANGERESQUE: That sounds easy enough. I've faked ID's harder than this.

Get/Use

DANGERESQUE: Naw, I shouldn't take it until it's *ahem* solved.

Talk To

DANGERESQUE: The Chief's unsolved case file's not much of a talker. More of a LOOKer.

Inventory

Camera

While it's in the safe

Look
DANGERESQUE: Ooh! It's my Snoopeur 200 Telefoto Instant Camera. Oh, the things we've illegally surveilled.
Get/Use
DANGERESQUE: Bet I could take some seriously compromising photographs with this baby.
{Takes Camera from safe, adds to inventory}
Talk To
DANGERESQUE: I'm gonna GET you!

Use on Blinds (Or on Object on Windowsill)

{With blinds closed}
DANGERESQUE: I should open the blinds first.

{With nothing on windowsill}
DANGERESQUE: Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
{Cut to view out of window at Strong Sad's apartment}
DANGERESQUE: Whoa, look at that shlump! That guy's just a victim waiting to happen.

{With coffee on windowsill}
DANGERESQUE: Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
{Cut to view out of window at Strong Sad's apartment}
DANGERESQUE: That sad sack is definitely not the "World's Best Crooked Cop!" I'm not takin' this shot.

{With UNSOLVED stamp on windowsill}
DANGERESQUE: Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
{Cut to view out of window at Strong Sad's apartment}
DANGERESQUE: Watch out Lord Fatmonger! A giant rubber stamp is trying to assault you! I'm not takin' this shot.

{With inked UNSOLVED stamp on windowsill}
DANGERESQUE: Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
{Cut to view out of window at Strong Sad's apartment}
DANGERESQUE: Watch out Lord Fatmonger! That saucy rubber stamp is gonna get saucy on you! I'm not takin' this shot.

{With whoozit on windowsill}
DANGERESQUE: Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
{Cut to view out of window at Strong Sad's apartment}
DANGERESQUE: Well, one hideous sack deserves another. I'm not takin' this shot.

{With takeout on windowsill}
DANGERESQUE: Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
{Cut to view out of window at Strong Sad's apartment}
DANGERESQUE: Now HERE'S a shot I can use! It totally looks like the Dragon Man is kung-fuing that fat slob!
{Photo of crime is added to inventory}

{If picture has already been taken}
DANGERESQUE: I'm outta film. Plus, I already got the money shot.

Use on Dangeresque

DANGERESQUE: I don't need a picture of myself! My wallet's already full of them.

Use on Casefile

DANGERESQUE: I don't think that's what it meant by "photographic evidence."
DANGERESQUE: {thinking} I should take a photo with it.

Use on Anything Else

DANGERESQUE: I'm not taking a picture of that. I only gots one instant shot left.

Kung-Fu Takeout

While it's on the Safe or on the Windowsill

Look
DANGERESQUE: Some 5-year old takeout from Kung-Fu Dragon.
DANGERESQUE: I keep it around cause there's a cool picture of a Dragon Man doing Kung-Fu on it.
Get/Use
{When stuck to the safe; Dangeresque gets on his tiptoes and extends his arms upward. After a brief moment he gives up and stands normally.}
DANGERESQUE: Nnnng! It's stuck to the top of the safe! I'm gonna need to hire a Takeout-Stuck-To-The-Safe Cracker for this one.

{After it's dislodged, either on the safe or on the windowsill}
DANGERESQUE: Good idea. Never know when you might need to make somebody puke.
{Takeout is added to inventory}
Talk To
DANGERESQUE: And the Kung-Fu Dragon Chinese Takeout comes in the niiiight! (they're open late)

Use on Blinds

{With blinds closed}
DANGERESQUE: I should open the blinds first.

{With nothing on windowsill}
DANGERESQUE: Yeah, I should prolly air this stuff out a bit.
{Places takeout on the windowsill}

{With something already on windowsill}
DANGERESQUE: There's already something up there.

Use on Casefile

DANGERESQUE: This takeout is basically puke waiting to happen, maybe it can be the physical evidence for The Chief's case.
{Puts takeout in casefile, casefile is now stained brown}
DANGERESQUE: Aw Chunkblow! It just made it all gross and stuck together. Now I'll never pretend to solve it!
THE CHIEF: I HEARD THAT KOWALSKI! TURN IN YOUR BADGE!
DANGERESQUE: Um, who?
THE CHIEF: OH. I MEAN DANGERESQUE.
DANGERESQUE: Crap.
{Game Over sequence}

Use on Dangeresque

{First time}
DANGERESQUE: Yeah, this takeout has seen too much over the years.
{Eats}
DANGERESQUE: Sorry, takeout. They said NO LOOSE ENDS! That was definitely one of the worst things I ever done.
DANGERESQUE: {thinking} Gonna keep the cool box though.

{After first time}
DANGERESQUE: This box has a cool picture of a Dragon Man doing Kung-Fu on it.
DANGERESQUE: {thinking} Wish he was real. He looks capable of some really cool-to-watch assault and battery.

Use on Anything Else

{Before use on Dangeresque}
DANGERESQUE: Ancient Chinese Secret: ancient chinese takeout won't help here.
{After use on Dangeresque}
DANGERESQUE: That doesn't need to feel the fury of a Dragon Man doing Kung-Fu.

Bag of Whoosit

Use on Blinds

{With blinds closed}
DANGERESQUE: I should open the blinds first.

{With nothing on windowsill}
DANGERESQUE: Gramma used to do this to cool hers off.
{Places bag of whoozit on windowsill}

{With something already on windowsill}
DANGERESQUE: There's already something up there.

While it's on the Windowsill

Look
DANGERESQUE: It looks so delicious steaming on the windowsill there...wait, what?
Get/Use
DANGERESQUE: Wish there was a better place for this.
{Dangeresque takes bag from window.}
DANGERESQUE: Bag 'em up, Chuck.
{Bag of whoozit is added to inventory}
Talk To
DANGERESQUE: Bag of whoosit, there's something me and the guys need to tell you about hygiene.

Use on Casefile

DANGERESQUE: Let's just tuck this in here... erm...
{Puts bag in casefile}
DANGERESQUE: {thinking} Urp... almost made a second batch.
DANGERESQUE: Good enough for crooked government work! I mean, who's to say whose whoosit is whose?
{Bag of whoozit is removed from inventory}

Use on Anything Else

DANGERESQUE: Most things are better without a bag of whoozit poured on them.
DANGERESQUE: {thinking} Most...

Coffee/Mug

While it's on the Dangerdesque or Windowsill

Look
DANGERESQUE: It's so old the creamer has formed a fuzzy little island in the middle.
Get/Use
DANGERESQUE: Yeah. I might accidentally drink it if it's just sittin' there.
Talk To
DANGERESQUE: You're gettin' too old for this job, coffee.

Use on Blinds

{With blinds closed}
DANGERESQUE: I should open the blinds first.

{With nothing on windowsill}
DANGERESQUE: Sure. maybe I can poison a few pigeons.
{Places coffee of windowsill}

{With something already on windowsill}
DANGERESQUE: There's already something up there.

Use on Casefile

DANGERESQUE: Maybe if I spill coffee on The Chief's case file, he won't be able to read it and he'll think it's solved!
{Adds coffee to casefile, creating a large black spot on it}
DANGERESQUE: Or maybe it'll just ruin it and I'll go to jail.
{Game Over sequence}

Use on Dangeresque

DANGERESQUE: Dangeresque NEVER backs down from a really terrible, gross idea!
{Drinks}
DANGERESQUE: Ugh.
DANGERESQUE: {thinking} THAT's gonna stick with me for a while.
{Coffee is removed from inventory}

Use on Anything Else

DANGERESQUE: Naw. Pouring old coffee on that won't help. What a surprise.

Photo of crime

Use on Blinds

{With blinds closed}
DANGERESQUE: I should open the blinds first.

{With nothing on windowsill}
DANGERESQUE: Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
DANGERESQUE: Whoa! This is like staring at infinity! Fat, gray, lazy infinity.

{With something already on windowsill}
DANGERESQUE: There's already something up there.

Use on Casefile

DANGERESQUE: That photographic evidence makes some pretty good photographic evidence!
{Photo is removed from inventory}

Use on Anything Else

DANGERESQUE: I should really put this in the casefile.

UNSOLVED Stamp

While in Dangerdesque or on Windowsill

Look
DANGERESQUE: It's one o' them rubber stamps. I mostly use it on Renaldo's forehead when he's asleep.
Get/Use
{While in Dangerdesque}
DANGERESQUE: An "UNSOLVED" stamp?
DANGERESQUE: {thinking} Great, just what I needed today...sarcasm, sarcasm.

{There is no response when taking the stamp from the window.}
{UNSOLVED stamp is added to inventory}
Talk To
DANGERESQUE: *grumble* Hi, stamp.

Use on Casefile

{When dry}
DANGERESQUE: I could try and make this UNSOLVED stamp work, but I gots no ink!

{When inked}
DANGERESQUE: Okay, let's see if I can make this work. I only got one shot at this.
{Cut to casefile for stamping}
{When stamped incorrectly}
DANGERESQUE: Oh crank. That was indelible sweet n' sour sauce. This does not look good for Dangeresque.
{Game Over sequence}

{When stamped correctly}
DANGERESQUE: That was genius! Almost as good as that time I turned that 00% on that algebra test into 1000%.

Use on Dangeresque

DANGERESQUE: No way! The MAN's always tryin' to stamp me down!

Use on Blinds

{With blinds closed}
DANGERESQUE: I should open the blinds first.

{With nothing on windowsill}
{Dangeresque puts the stamp on the sill without comment}

{With something already on windowsill}
DANGERESQUE: There's already something up there.

Use on Sweet/Sour Sauce (Only When Dry)

DANGERESQUE: Hey, this rancid sweet n' sour sauce makes some nice red ink!
{Dry UNSOLVED stamp becomes an inked UNSOLVED stamp}

Use on Anything Else

{When dry}
DANGERESQUE: That's not UNSOLVED. Besides, I got no ink.

{When inked}
DANGERESQUE: I don't wanna get rancid sweet n' sour sauce all over that.

"Need to WASD"

{When the player trys to "Get/Use" the Dangerdesque from the side farthest from the door}
DANGERESQUE: {Thinking} I need to WASD myself to the front of the desk for full dramatic effect.

{When the player trys to "Get/Use" the Chair from anywhere but the bottom side of the desk}
DANGERESQUE: {Thinking} I need to WASD myself below that chair to get the jump on it.

{When the player trys to "Get/Use" any other object, except the door, the safe, and the casefile, from too far away}
DANGERESQUE: {Thinking} I need to WASD myself closer.

Game Over

{Cut to an outdoor scene; it is still night. A Police Paddy Wagon marked "Hoose Gow", with Dangeresque in the back, drives up to a building marked "Jail!" The gate opens, the vehicle drives inside, and the gate shuts. Cut to Dangeresque, dressed in a prisoner's outfit, sitting in a dimly lit cell. The words "Game Over" appear above him in Dangeresque Font. When you click the mouse, however, it cuts to a black screen with either of the phrases that are listed below in Dangeresque Font.}
DANGERESQUE: {In compressed audio} Or did I?
{These are following phrases that will appear in the following order, changing every time you lose.}
Moments Earlier...

Seriously though...

Previously on Dangeresque...

It's almost as if it was a dream...

We all make bad choices...

Okay, trying harder this time...

Reeeeewind-O...
{The game then cuts back to the moment before you committed the action that led to the Game Over.}

Winning

{After completing all three objectives}
DANGERESQUE: Well, that's all the requirements. Let's see if The Chief buys this crap.
{Cut to shot of the door. The silhouettes of the Chief and Dangeresque can be seen through it.}
DANGERESQUE: Here you go, Chiefy! Sorry bout the wait. Someone stuck a barracuda in my desk.
THE CHIEF: I KNEW YOU'D COME THROUGH, DANGERESQUE. YOUR METHODS MAY BE QUESTIONABLE BUT YOU ALWAYS GET RESULTS!
DANGERESQUE: Thanks The Chief. I'll just get going then.
THE CHIEF: WAITAMINUTE?!! THIS ISN'T A PICTURE OF THE VICTIM! WHO'S THE CRAP'S THIS GREYSCALE SCHLUB?
DANGERESQUE: Uh oh.
{Cut back to office. Dangeresque re-enters}
DANGERESQUE: {in compressed audio} Looks like I'm gonna have to juuuuuump...
{Jumps out the Window. Credits sequence.}


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