Crime and Punishment

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"Who's gonna steal a pair of half-eaten choco-pants?"

Despite its very low population, Free Country, USA has a high rate of petty crime, and few officials to enforce punishment.



Strong Bad

While not a proper villain anymore, Strong Bad has committed more crimes than the rest of the characters put together.

See main article: Crimes committed by Strong Bad

Homestar Runner

"Garbage. Garbage. Rubbish. Umm...Murder weapon?"

Whether due to Strong Bad's influence or his own stupidity, Homestar has had a few brushes with the law.

The Cheat

See main article: Cheating

True to his name, The Cheat has helped Strong Bad and several other characters to cheat at various sports and activities. He has also assisted with various, more heinous crimes.

Assisting Strong Bad

  • Email caper — The Cheat breaks into Homestar's house alongside Strong Bad.
  • The Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon — The Cheat assists Strong Bad in his various crimes througout the toon.
  • Email garage sale — The Cheat robs houses (and inadvertantly kidnaps Homestar) so Strong Bad can sell the spoils at his garage sale.
  • Email portrait — The Cheat vandalises the Deutsch Master painting.


Strong Sad

Usually very passive and accepting of his life; Strong Sad has lashed out on ocassion.

  • Email caffine — While high on caffine Strong Sad repeatedly slaps Coach Z.
  • Email rough copy — Strong Sad "sues" Strong Bad and The Cheat with snowballs he saved in the freezer since he was eight.
  • SBCG4AP Tutorial — Strong Sad steals the Lappy 486.
  • Baddest of the Bands — Strong Sad tases Strong Bad when he tries to get backstage.

Strong Mad

"That's not really the conventional way to roll a house."


"I'm pretty sure there's no cake in here. It's been about three weeks now, and you'd think I would have found it."

Despite being, as Strong Bad puts it, "a dirty hippy, without the dirt", Marzipan has resorted to less-than-peaceful ways of making her opinion heard.

  • Quality Time — Marzipan locks Homestar in her closet for 3 weeks after she told him there was a cake in there.
  • Email bike thief — Marzipan steals Homestar's bike from Strong Bad using the same clipboard method he did.
  • Baddest of the Bands — Marzipan hits Strong Bad with her guitar when he says he doesn't think she's hot.
  • hremail 3184 — Marzipan steals Gardenboy's garden tools to help Strong Bad assault Homestar.


See main article: Bubs's Shady Business Practices

Non-business crimes

Coach Z

The King of Town

  • Email suntan — The King of Town steals Strong Bad's cocoa butter and animal phat.
  • 3 Times Halloween Funjob — The King of Town eats Marzipan's candy corn lights and then denies having done anything wrong when Marzipan tells him to stop doing it.
  • Email original — The King of Town (somehow) eats all the mayonnaise off Original Bubs's egg salad.
  • Homestar Ruiner — The King of Town continually devours the Choc-Opps Strong Bad tries to leave Marzipan.
  • Most in the Graveyard — The King of Town is implied to have stolen Strong Bad's pickled monkey fingers.

Teen Girl Squad


"A Decemberween tradition."


The full extent of the law.
"Hey Rubble D, where my smokes at?"

Due to the lack of authority and law enforcement, most crimes are unprosecuted. There have been a few cases of characters receiving some form of formal punishment.


See Also

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