Cool Things

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 13:50, 15 August 2005

COOL TAPES!

The Concession Stand is under "old management", Strong Mad and The Cheat form a band with Marzipan, Homestar is still a moron and fifth grade jokes ensue.

Cast (in order of apperance): Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Bubs, Strong Sad, Strong Mad, The Cheat, Strong Bad (Easter egg)

Places: Marzipan's House, Bubs' Concession Stand, The Field, Strong Bad's Basement (Easter egg)

Date: August 15, 2005

Running Time: 4:00

Page Title: Sittin' with a kitty...

Transcript

{COOL THINGS appears on Marzipan's carpet. We pan up to see Homestar and Marzipan sitting on the couch. Marzipan is reading "Peter Threadbare", while Homestar just looks bored.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {yawns} Sitting on the couch is zero amount of fun when there's not a TV or hanglider in front of it.

MARZIPAN: Well, why don't you do something constructive? Like read a book, or write a novella.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Nah, I already did some writing today. And then I read what I wrote.

MARZIPAN: Yay! Good for you. Can I see it?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: It's right over there. Check it out!

{Homestar looks at the left wall. The camera view changes to show that "COOL TAPES" is written on the wall.}

MARZIPAN: {offscreen} Why did you write "COOL TAPES" on my wall?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uh, hello? {Cut back to the couch. Marzipan and Homestar both look annoyed.} Maybe because I like cool tapes?

MARZIPAN: Well, I hope you like "cool" painting, because this has got to go.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Mwa, mwa, mwaaaa!

{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand. Bubs is inside, looking bored. Three cans of "yella paint" are stacked next to him. Homestar walks up to the stand.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Say there, old Bubs! I need three cans of yella paint, and one pair of cool shades.

BUBS: Sorry, customer, I'm closed.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: But you're standing right there. And I see the yella paint right next to you.

BUBS: But I'm closed! Cutbacks, layoffs, downsizing, you know the drill.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {He looks over his shoulder, then looks back at Bubs.} Hey, Bubs, can you steal three cans of yella paint for me?

BUBS: I never pass up a chance to stick it to the man! Here you go! {He gives the cans of paint to Homestar.} I slipped the cool shades in the can number two.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks, Bubs. Power to the people!

BUBS: I heard that!

{Cut to Homestar's silhouette walking away from the stand. We then cut a closeup of Homestar walking in the field.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I think I'm gonna bust out my new cool shades. {He kneels down, opens one of the paint cans, and pulls out a pair of sunglasses that are completely covered in paint. He puts them on.} Cool! Everything's yellow and drippy.

{Strong Sad enters.}

STRONG SAD: Hey, Homestar.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello, Dripping Yellow Madness!

STRONG SAD: What? I'm Strong Sad! Dripping Yellow Madness moved away after fifth grade!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Look, I'd love to stay and argue that you are in fact Dripping Yellow Madness, but this paint and I {He kicks on of the cans of paint} have a date with a wall!

STRONG SAD: I wish I had a date with a wall.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Go for it! Here. {He gives the paint cans to Strong Sad} You'll need these.

STRONG SAD: Oh!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: And, uh, good luck tonight.

{He makes a clicking sound with his mouth, then walks off. He lands in a small hole. There is a sign next to it that says "death hole" in Strong Bad's handwriting. Homestar screams while falling in and continues to scream even when he's landed at the bottom.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {gradually getting quiter} Aaaaaaaaaaah...I'm at the bottom of a giant pit...aaaah...

STRONG SAD: Homestar, take off those stupid cool shades.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, I should probably return these things.

STRONG SAD: {walking offscreen, singing} Oh, getting lucky tonight...

{Paint runs down the screen. When it is gone, we see a closeup of Homestar, still wearing the cool shades.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey friend. Lemme get my money back for these cool shades.

{The camera pulls back to show that Homestar is standing about a metre away from Bubs' Concession Stand. Bubs is inside, and there's a banner on the stand that says "UNDER OLD MANAGEMENT!!"

BUBS: Little bit closer, Homestar.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh. {He walks closer, and walks past Bubs a bit. Bubs moves in front of him.} Lemme get my money back for these cool shades.

BUBS: Sure! You got your receipt?

HOMESTR RUNNER: Uh, no. {He takes off his sunglasses.} The sales representative I dealt with gave them to me...free of charge. I believe...his name was Stan.

BUBS: Stan? I fired that guy after the fifth grade! Without a receipt, I can only exchange them for something of lesser or much lesser value. And the only thing that qualifies is this! {He holds up a bag with four grapes in it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {He takes the bag} These'll do! These'll do juuust fine!

{Cut to Homestar's silhouette walking away from the stand. The sun is lower than before, and the sky is a purplish color. Cut to a view of Homestar walking into Marzipan's house, then cut to Marzipan's living room, where Marzipan, Strong Mad and The Cheat are standing in front of the wall with "Cool Tapes" written on it. Strong Mad has an electric guitar, The Cheat has a drum kit, and Marzipan has Carol.

MARZIPAN: All right, boys. From the top. {Homestar's silhouette appears in the foreground.} One, two-

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What in {Cut to a closeup of Homestar's face. He looks angry.} Pete Sampras is going on here?

{cut to a closeup of Marzipan's face.}

MARZIPAN: Well, you took too long, so Strong Mad, and The Cheat and I formed a band called Cool Tapes. {She smiles sheepishly.}

{Cut back to a still-angry Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, really? What kind of...music do you play?

{Cut to a wide shot of Marzipan, Strong Mad and The Cheat.}

MARZIPAN: Well, here, we'll show you. We only have one song so far, and it's not quite finished, but here goes. Ready boys?

{Strong Mad, The Cheat and Marzipan all play their instruments.}

MARZIPAN: One, two, three four!

Cool tapes are cool, 'cause they're where it is at,

Cool tapes are cool, and we like it like that!

Cool tapes! Cool tapes!

We like to get it down with the cool, cool tapes,

We like to get round with ...um... {the music stops} um...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: A bag of four grapes?

MARZIPAN: {music starts again} A bag of four grapes!

{We hear an audience cheering. Homestar pops up from the bottom of the screen and shakes the bag. A tape appears in the forground that reads "THE END." Homestar peeks through one of the holes in the tape.}

Easter Eggs

• Click on "THE" on the cassette at the end to see a conversation with Strong Bad and The Cheat.

{Strong Bad is lying on the couch in his basement, watching TV.}

TV: ...same truck that tried to kill my Dad!

{The Cheat enters, carrying his drumsticks.}

STRONG BAD: Hey, The Cheat. We catch anything in the Death Hole today?

THE CHEAT: {Squeaks}

STRONG BAD: What? There's no way he could've been in there. He moved away after fifth grade!

• Click on "END" on the cassette at the end to see a T-shirt for "Cool Tapes".

Fun Facts

Remarks

• This is the first instance of moving clouds.
• This is the first time Marzipan grins showing her teeth.
• None of the paint remains on Homestar's face after he removes the cool shades.
• The paint dripping from Homestar's glasses go into his mouth when he speaks.

Inside References

• The show Strong Bad is watching is a reference to the show The Cheat watched in privileges.
• The amps that Marzipan plays through are from different town.
• The bouncing noise Strong Sad makes is from modeling.

Real World References

• Pete Sampras is a retired professional tennis player.
• "Stick it to the Man" and "Power to the People" were common phrases used during the Student Riots in the 1960's and 70's.
• The title phrase "Sittin' with a kitty..." is a lyric from the Sonic Youth song "Kool Thing".

External Links

• watch "Cool Things"
• view the Flash file for "Cool Things"
• forum thread re: "Cool Things"