Cold One

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(Types of Ones: unrelated to the gag)
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[[Image:sbemail39.PNG|thumb|The Cold One motto]]
[[Image:sbemail39.PNG|thumb|The Cold One motto]]
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'''Cold One''' is the most popular brand of [[Wikipedia:beer|beer]] in [[Free Country, USA]]. They are shipped in brown, nondescript bottles. The Cold One motto is "A One that isn't cold, is scarcely a One at all." Although there has been some debate as to whether they are actually [[alcohol]]ic or not, it is shown in [[Peasant's Quest]] that the [[Kerrek]] rejects Cold Ones because he is a [[Wikipedia:Teetotalism|teetotaler]]. Also, since the [[Strong Bad]] [[Homestar Runner and Strong Bad Screensaver|screensaver]] displays "Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones", and that Room Temp-A-Ture Ones are "brewed in Foreign Lands", the conclusion must be that a Cold One is a refreshing type of beer. In addition, "Room Temp-A-Ture Ones" could possibly be referring to the stereotype that the English prefer drinking their beer at near room temperature.
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'''Cold One''' is the most popular brand of [[Wikipedia:beer|beer]] in [[Free Country, USA]]. They are shipped in brown, nondescript bottles. The Cold One motto is "A One that isn't cold, is scarcely a One at all." Although there has been some debate as to whether they are actually [[alcohol]]ic or not, it is shown in [[Peasant's Quest]] that the [[Kerrek]] rejects Cold Ones because he is a [[Wikipedia:Teetotalism|teetotaler]]. Also, since the [[Strong Bad]] [[Homestar Runner and Strong Bad Screensaver|screensaver]] displays "Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones", and that Room Temp-A-Ture Ones are "brewed in Foreign Lands", the conclusion must be that a Cold One is a refreshing type of beer. In addition, "Room Temp-A-Ture Ones" could possibly be referring to the stereotype that the British prefer drinking their beer at near room temperature.
It is revealed in the email "[[super powers]]" that Strong Bad can use the diamond-shaped icon on his head to open a Cold One.
It is revealed in the email "[[super powers]]" that Strong Bad can use the diamond-shaped icon on his head to open a Cold One.
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 +
[[Matt Chapman]] revealed in [[The Jeff Rubin Jeff Rubin Show Interview - 7 July 2014]] that [[Nickelodeon]] and [[Disney]] told him that he would have to cease all references to Cold Ones if the series were to be broadcast on their television networks.
== The Property of Ones ==
== The Property of Ones ==
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|- id="co"
|- id="co"
| <center>Cold Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:Cold One.PNG|45px]]</center> || Preferred by [[Strong Bad]]. ||  
| <center>Cold Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:Cold One.PNG|45px]]</center> || Preferred by [[Strong Bad]]. ||  
-
*Seen: [[Where My Hat Is At?]]; [[Theme Song Video]]; [[super powers]]; [[flag day]]; [[Strong Bad's Website]]; [[video games]]; [[Population: Tire]]; [[garage sale]]; [[Senorial Day]]; [[Strong Bad is a Bad Guy]]; [[pop-up]]; [[unnatural]] (Easter Egg)
+
*Seen: [[Where My Hat Is At?]]; [[Theme Song Video]]; [[super powers]]; [[flag day]]; [[Strong Bad's Website]]; [[video games]]; [[Population: Tire]]; [[garage sale]]; [[Senorial Day]]; [[Strong Bad is a Bad Guy]]; [[pop-up]]; [[unnatural]] (Easter egg)
*Mentioned or implied: [[property of ones]]; [[theme party]]; [[suntan]]; [[Peasant's Quest]]; [[for kids]]; [[Commandos in the Classroom]]; [[strongbad_email.exe]]; [[strongbad_email.exe Disc Three]]; [[coloring]]
*Mentioned or implied: [[property of ones]]; [[theme party]]; [[suntan]]; [[Peasant's Quest]]; [[for kids]]; [[Commandos in the Classroom]]; [[strongbad_email.exe]]; [[strongbad_email.exe Disc Three]]; [[coloring]]
|- id="coolones"
|- id="coolones"
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*[[property of ones]] (mentioned)
*[[property of ones]] (mentioned)
|- id="notsocoldones"
|- id="notsocoldones"
-
| <center>Not So Cold Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:notsocold.PNG|45px]]</center> || Enjoyed by [[Coach Z]] and [[Bubs]]. ||  
+
| <center>Not So Cold Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:notsocold.PNG|45px]]</center> || Tempature is 90 degrees or higher, as said on the bottle. Enjoyed by [[Coach Z]] and [[Bubs]]. ||  
*[[property of ones]]
*[[property of ones]]
*[[impression]]
*[[impression]]
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*[[property of ones]] (mentioned)
*[[property of ones]] (mentioned)
|- id="onenotcold"
|- id="onenotcold"
-
| <center>One That Is Not Cold</center> || <center>''not seen''</center> || The sender of [[property of ones]] almost drank this brand. Scarcely a One at all. ||  
+
| <center>One That Is Not Cold</center> || <center>''not seen''</center> || What the sender of [[property of ones]], Dan Waters, claims to have almost drank. Scarcely a One at all. ||  
*[[property of ones]] (mentioned)
*[[property of ones]] (mentioned)
|- id="xtracold"
|- id="xtracold"
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*[[hiding]]
*[[hiding]]
|- id="sbpaco"
|- id="sbpaco"
-
| <center>Strong Beer Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:Cold_One_Premium_Alcoholic_Screen_Saver.png|180px]]</center> || From the [[Homestar Runner and Strong Bad Screensaver|screensaver]]. ||  
+
| <center>Strong Beer Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:Cold One Premium Alcoholic Screen Saver.png|180px]]</center> || From the [[Homestar Runner and Strong Bad Screensaver|screensaver]]. ||  
*[[Homestar Runner and Strong Bad Screensaver|Strong Bad Screensaver]]
*[[Homestar Runner and Strong Bad Screensaver|Strong Bad Screensaver]]
|- id="colight"
|- id="colight"
| <center>Cold Ones Light</center> || <center>[[Image:Cold Ones Light.PNG|97px]]</center> || A [[Wikipedia:Light beer|light]] variation of a Cold One. The logo closely resembles the [[Wikipedia:Pabst Brewing Company#Old Style|Old Style]] beer logo ([[:Image:Cold Ones Light Old Style.png|see comparison]]). ||  
| <center>Cold Ones Light</center> || <center>[[Image:Cold Ones Light.PNG|97px]]</center> || A [[Wikipedia:Light beer|light]] variation of a Cold One. The logo closely resembles the [[Wikipedia:Pabst Brewing Company#Old Style|Old Style]] beer logo ([[:Image:Cold Ones Light Old Style.png|see comparison]]). ||  
*[[Ever and More!]]
*[[Ever and More!]]
 +
*[[Strong Badia the Free]]
 +
*[[Baddest of the Bands]]
*[[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]]
*[[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]]
|- id="expenseones"
|- id="expenseones"
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*[[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]]
*[[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]]
|- id="coldsonlite"
|- id="coldsonlite"
-
| <center>Coldson Lite</center> || <center>[[Image:coldsonlite02.PNG]]</center> || A Cold One-style beverage enjoyed by Coach Z and [[The Cheat]]. It may be a reference to [[Wikipedia:Molson|Molson]], a Canadian beer. It looks suspiciously like a can of [[Wikipedia:Coors Light|Coors Light]] &mdash; a strange coincidence as Molson and Coors announced they were merging in 2004. ||  
+
| <center>Coldson Lite</center> || <center>[[Image:coldsonlite02.PNG|45px]]</center> || A Cold One-style beverage enjoyed by Coach Z and [[The Cheat]]. It may be a reference to [[Wikipedia:Molson|Molson]], a Canadian beer. It looks suspiciously like a can of [[Wikipedia:Coors Light|Coors Light]] &mdash; a strange coincidence as Molson and Coors announced they were merging in 2004. ||  
*[[labor day]]
*[[labor day]]
*[[lunch special]]
*[[lunch special]]
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*[[hremail3184]]
*[[hremail3184]]
|- id="coesb"
|- id="coesb"
-
| <center>Cold Ones Extra Stout Black</center> || <center>[[Image:Cold_Ones_Extra_Stout_Black.PNG|180px]]</center> || "So rich, thick, and dark, you can't believe it's a liquid." Seems to refer to [[Wikipedia:Guinness|Guinness]]. ||  
+
| <center>Cold Ones Extra Stout Black</center> || <center>[[Image:Cold Ones Extra Stout Black.PNG|180px]]</center> || "So rich, thick, and dark, you can't believe it's a liquid." Seems to refer to [[Wikipedia:Guinness|Guinness]]. ||  
*[[Strong Badia The Free]]
*[[Strong Badia The Free]]
|- id="coldenone"
|- id="coldenone"
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| <center>PONK!</center> || <center>[[File:Cold Ones Ponk.PNG]]</center> || Enjoyed by Bubs. ||  
| <center>PONK!</center> || <center>[[File:Cold Ones Ponk.PNG]]</center> || Enjoyed by Bubs. ||  
*[[hremail3184]]
*[[hremail3184]]
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|- id="icecream"
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| <center>Hops and Icy Cold One flavored ice cream</center> || <center>[[File:ColdOneIceCream.png]]</center> ||  ||
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*[[8-Bit Is Enough]]
|}
|}

Revision as of 23:45, 5 October 2017

The Cold One motto

Cold One is the most popular brand of beer in Free Country, USA. They are shipped in brown, nondescript bottles. The Cold One motto is "A One that isn't cold, is scarcely a One at all." Although there has been some debate as to whether they are actually alcoholic or not, it is shown in Peasant's Quest that the Kerrek rejects Cold Ones because he is a teetotaler. Also, since the Strong Bad screensaver displays "Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones", and that Room Temp-A-Ture Ones are "brewed in Foreign Lands", the conclusion must be that a Cold One is a refreshing type of beer. In addition, "Room Temp-A-Ture Ones" could possibly be referring to the stereotype that the British prefer drinking their beer at near room temperature.

It is revealed in the email "super powers" that Strong Bad can use the diamond-shaped icon on his head to open a Cold One.

Matt Chapman revealed in The Jeff Rubin Jeff Rubin Show Interview - 7 July 2014 that Nickelodeon and Disney told him that he would have to cease all references to Cold Ones if the series were to be broadcast on their television networks.

The Property of Ones

See main article: Bogus Mathematical Theorems

According to Strong Bad, Cold Ones obey the following Property of Ones:

The Oneitude is directly proportional to the Colditude of the One.

Or in other words:

The colder it is, the more of a one it is.

Types of Ones

Type Picture About Appearances
Cold Ones
Preferred by Strong Bad.
Cool Ones
not seen
A nice alternative on spring nights.
Not So Cold Ones
Tempature is 90 degrees or higher, as said on the bottle. Enjoyed by Coach Z and Bubs.
Room Temp-A-Ture Ones
A foreign brand brewed in Foreign Lands.
Wärm Önes
Foreign brand straight from the oven.
Cold None
not seen
Not to be wished on anyone
One That Is Not Cold
not seen
What the sender of property of ones, Dan Waters, claims to have almost drank. Scarcely a One at all.
Xtra Cold Ones
A step up from Cold Ones.
Cold One Ice
Thrown at a moose lamp.
'old One
Enjoyed by Pom Pom, Homestar Runner, and Strong Bad.
Strong Beer Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones
From the screensaver.
Cold Ones Light
A light variation of a Cold One. The logo closely resembles the Old Style beer logo (see comparison).
Expen$e Account Ones
Enjoyed while on a business trip.
Cold Ones Dry
A dry variation of a Cold One, official beverage of Taranchula.
Coldson Lite
A Cold One-style beverage enjoyed by Coach Z and The Cheat. It may be a reference to Molson, a Canadian beer. It looks suspiciously like a can of Coors Light — a strange coincidence as Molson and Coors announced they were merging in 2004.
Cold Ones Extra Stout Black
"So rich, thick, and dark, you can't believe it's a liquid." Seems to refer to Guinness.
Colden Ones
A variation of the Cold One. Enjoyed by Homestar Runner before the Big Game. May be a reference to "Molson Golden".
PONK!
File:Cold Ones Ponk.PNG
Enjoyed by Bubs.
Hops and Icy Cold One flavored ice cream
File:ColdOneIceCream.png

See Also

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