Coach Z

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The Coach with the most

Contents

Biography

Coach Z is the "coach" of Homestar Runner and the gang. He has a strong Upper Midwestern accent which sometimes gets him into trouble. He almost never says anything negative to anyone, and he often offers more encouragement than is needed. When giving advice, he almost always starts with the phrase "You can't just rush into the score zone", which by now has pretty much lost its meaning. He wears a baseball cap and is famous for the large Z emblem around his waist, but nobody knows for sure whether his bright green color is his skin or a body suit.

It has been implied that he has a crush on Marzipan, and he has on several occasions left inappropriate messages on her answering machine, including one occasion where he was drunk. Additionally, he had to apologize to her in the Fall Float Parade for "inapprapriate" comments. He seems to frequently make jokes and references about pants, as seen in super powers, lunch special, secret recipes and A Folky Tale. In addition to his frequent mispronunciations, Coach Z also seems to have mental problems, as evidenced by the time he spent "talking to his parents" on a disconnected telephone. (He also apparently has trouble managing his money, causing his electricity to be shut off each year.) He works with Homestar Runner and Bubs as the apparent local law enforcement in FCUSA.

Coach Z is a fan of hip-hop and rap music, particularly the Wu-Tang Clan. He fancies himself a rapper as well: He released the single "These Peoples Try to Fade Me," which appeared on Strong Bad Sings and Other Type Hits, and his solo album, entitled "The Z Is All Up Ins", features the smash hit "Hip Hop Dance."

Coach Z is now apparently no longer friendly with Bubs, as Fall Float Parade tells us.

Coach Z's emblem

Youthful days

Hatless

Character Video Transcript

{Page Title: Drop Down and Gimme 20!!} {Places: Coach Z's Locker Room}

COACH Z: {not quite looking at the camera lens, more looking at the person who is holding the camera} Is that thing on? {turns to the camera lens} Hey there, ho there! I'm the Coach! The Coach Z, I'd guess you'd call me. Or plain old Coach is fine, seein' as I'm the only one around, so, probably no one else would answer to that. You say "Hey Coach!", and I'd say "Yeah?" or..."That's me!" or..."Hoo-hah!" {waves his arms in the air} Any one of those. There's rumors flyin' around that I sleep in one of these lockers {gestures to the lockers behind him}, but uh, that's just not true. I usually crash on this bench here. {gestures to the bench behind him} My back's not in real good condition. {Rubs Back} And now, I'd like to perform my hip-hop single, "These peoples try to fade me." {holds up a microphone, begins to sing} A one-two, a one-two—!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {interrupting Coach Z} Sorry. We're all out of tape.

Coach Z's Accent

The primary factor in his hilarity, Coach Z's Upper Midwestern accent has made him into a very quotable character.

Phonetic Sounds Affected

The most commonly mispronounced sounds are long /e/ (i.e. The Cheat) and the short /o/ (job), which both come out as an "or" or "aer" ("The Chort", "jaerb").

List of mispronounced words

  • Awful: Orful
  • Bomb: Baermb
  • Chips: Chorps
  • Chocolate: Cherclate
  • Decemberween: Decemberworn
  • DELETED: DELORTED
  • Did: Doird
  • Fhqwhgads: Forhorgalingrads
  • Five: Farve
  • Homestar: Hamstray, Hamster, Stramstar, Stairmaster, Homegrown, Ramrod, Humphel
  • Job: Jorb, Jaerb, Jarb
  • Inappropriate: Inapprapriate
  • Inoculate: Anorculate
  • Jujjyfruits: Jorgyfruits, Jearjyfrorts, Jorjyfrorjy, George Foreman
  • Locker: Laker
  • Mouthwash: Mouthwarsh
  • Party: Pratty
  • Pom Pom balloon: Pam Pam b'lloon
  • Problem: Praeblem
  • Real: Rerl
  • Swedish Fish: Swordish Feirsh
  • The Cheat: The Chort
  • Thumb: Thermb
  • Toilet: Terlet
  • Tomato: Tomater, "I zader matermorts"
  • Treat: Trort
  • Trick: Track

Inconsistencies

Evidence has suggested that Coach Z's accent may be bogus:

  • After saying "trick or trort" in 3 Times Halloween Funjob, Bubs got on his case and he said it correctly. If given "Swedish Fish," said as "Swordish Forsh," Bubs gets on his case again and Coach Z says "It's a crowd-pleaser."
  • Coach says "jorb" in boring (really), despite the fact that he has learned how to say "job".
  • Coach says both "The Cheat" and "The Chort" in the same sentence in mascot.

Furthermore, Marzipan implied in Fall Float Parade that Coach Z's way of speaking may just be a made-up language all in itself ("That's Pom Pom Balloon, for those of you who don't speak Coach Z").

Featured in

Fun Facts

  • Coach Z's accent came from a depressing Midwestern voice that Matt and some friends would do in college.
  • It was revealed in issue #21 of Wonkavision magazine that Coach Z is named for Craig Zobel.

Also known as...

Halloween Costumes

In each Homestar Runner Halloween special, Coach Z has dressed up as a rapper. (The Noid costume was not released.)

See Also

External Links

Main Characters

Homestar Runner | Strong Bad | The Cheat | Strong Mad | Strong Sad | Pom Pom | Marzipan | Coach Z | Bubs | The King of Town | The Poopsmith | Homsar

Retrieved from "http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/Coach_Z"
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