Arrow'd Guy

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Current revision as of 07:35, 8 October 2023

ARROWED!!!

The Arrow'd Guy is a balding middle-aged man known for abrupt — often deadly — appearances in Teen Girl Squad. Although his name does not appear in comic dialogue, he has been identified as the Arrow'd Guy in an interview, on a Store product caption, and a DVD commentary.

Although he is usually seen in a collared shirt and necktie, he has been drawn holding many professions (often changing clothes to match): a truck driver, owner of a Pan-Asian Cuisine stand, a brain mech pilot, ship captain, two judges (at the same time), a play critic, and a witch doctor. He typically looses arrows from his gaping maw, making the same open-mouthed expression even when not firing arrows.

His murderous, but not apparently malicious, agenda consists of appearing from nowhere to commit lethal assault and vanishing again. In each instance, a gruff but disinterested male voice announces the verb by which Arrow'd Guy has attack'd. It is not known whether this announcing voice is that of the Arrow'd Guy in particular, or simply Strong Bad narrating his comic. The Arrow'd Guy has no apparent motivation except, possibly, a loathing of conversational pauses. He is perhaps a brute force of nature in the notebook doodle universe.

[edit] Appearances

• Teen Girl Squad Issue 1: In his first appearance, he ARROWED The Ugly One, right after she admitted to having a crush on every boy.
• Issue 2: He doesn't actually kill one of the members, but runs over So and So's new boyfriend, the No I In Team Boy, with a CHILDREN truck.
• Issue 3: He throws three spring rolls, loaded with MSG, at The Ugly One, damaging her "stomach lining."
• 404 page: He "404s" The Ugly One. It's the same as the Issue #1 attack except The Ugly One says "OW! my browser!", and "ARROWED!!!" is missing.
• Issue 4: After Cheerleader gets denied by Quarterback, who tells her to get some brains, he CEREBELLUMs her with a giant brain mech.
• Issue 5: He helms a sailboat, the S.S. Inevitable, that SAILING MISHAPs Cheerleader in half.
• Issue 6: He doesn't kill anyone, but is two out of three judges when the girls jump into the lion's mouth. The Ugly One is TWO'D and Cheerleader gets '3 noses?'.
• Issue 7: The entire Squad falls into his mouth as they reminisce their pre-K days.
• Issue 8: Although he does not explicitly appear, Mrs. So-and-so-erson (So and So's stepmom), who seems to be the Arrow'd Guy, yells at the girls and pours "Ranch Dress" on The Ugly One (STEP-MOMMED!!!).
• HomestarRunner.com: PAY PLUS!'s Teen Girl Squad Sample, he appeared as a fairy and GOOD DRAWINGED The Wheelchair.
• Issue 9: Throws a spear through So and So, killing her and the animated Port-O-John behind her, as Strong Bad sings "Unfortunately, they didn't / get very good reviews."
• Issue 10: He tries to ARROWED II (he begins to say what sounds like "Electric Boogaloo," a reference to the 1980s film Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo) The Ugly One, but is stopped by Strong Bad, who then redraws the scene.
• Issue 12: Early on, The Ugly One is seen with a voodoo doll resembling him and pushing pins through it. He later retaliates by putting pins through a voodoo doll resembling The Ugly One. He also has a nose ring and top hat in this appearance. (BAD JUJU!!)
• Issue 13: Early on, Tompkins gets BABY SAT by a fat version of him, wearing a diaper and an anchor tattoo.
• Email love poems: Kimberly and Meredith, who are speaking strangely, get SHAKESPEARED by him, while he's dressed as William Shakespeare.
• Homestar Ruiner: He doesn't actually kill the girls; instead, he shoots arrows at a basketball while dressed as a referee, and says "YOU DON'T GOT NEXT!".
• Issue 15: After he tells What's Her Face she does "not belong at the junior prom" but will instead "come into [her] own in college", he admits he lied, and sparrows fly out of his mouth and impale her.

[edit] Trivia

• In a 2003 interview, it was mentioned that Mike Chapman was considering a lookalike contest "where balding businessmen send in pictures of themselves and whoever looks the most like the Arrowed Guy wins and gets some free stuff". This plan did not come to fruition.
• The first issue the Arrow'd guy didn't appear in was Teen Girl Squad Issue 11.
• He is called "Arrow'd Guy" in the advertisement for the Everybody Everybody Poster, even though in Issue 1 it was spelled "ARROWED".

[edit] Arrow'd Guy at Work

ARROWED!!!	CHILDREN!	MSG'D!!	CEREBELLUM'D!!
SAiLiNG MiSHAP!!	TWO'D!!	SWALLOWED!!	STEP-MOMMED!!
NOT VERY GOOD REViEWED!!	404'D!!	GOOD DRAWiNGED!!	ARROWED II!!
BAD JUJU!!	BABY SAT!	SHAKESPEARED!	sparrow'd.

[edit] Filmography

• Debut: Email comic
• Complete Filmography