An Important Rap Song

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Toon Category: Shorts
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"Don't play with too many knives!"

Crack Stuntman has an important message.

Cast (in order of appearance): Gunhaver, Fightgar, Firebert, Blue Laser Commander,Blue Laser Minion, Silent Rip, Crackotage, Flashfight, Reynold, Ripberger, Crack Stuntman, Reynold's Brother, Foxface

Places: Cheat Commandos HQ, Blue Laser Cottage, Beach

Date: Monday, March 26, 2007

Running Time: 2:01

Page Title: We now return to the REAL Cheat Commandos!

Contents

Transcript

{Scene opens to a VCR-like opening screen with static at the top and "PLAY" and a timer going up from "0:20:14"}

GUNHAVER: {standing next to Fightgar and Firebert} —pants back on, Blue Laser!

{Cut to Blue Laser putting his pants on}

BLUE LASER: How could you possibly refer to these as pants?

{cut back to Commandos}

GUNHAVER: Ahhahaha! {turns to other Commandos} Cheat Commandos...riggidy-roll!

{The other Commandos look confused and surprised...cuts to Silent Rip}

SILENT RIP: Uh...that's not what we usually say!

{Cut back to Gunhaver}

GUNHAVER: Whatever, it's riggidy-roll from now on.

{Cut to usual end screen, "Buy All Our Playsets and Toys!!" appears on the screen and is sung to music. The text "created by A. Chimendez" appears at the bottom. "Riggidy Roll" is carved into the rock that Gunhaver stands on instead of "Rock Rock On" as usual, and the characters at the bottom seem confused.}

{Cut to pink screen with a guy with a green shirt with "CRACK" on his shirt pocket}

CRACK STUNTMAN: Hi kids. {plunges at screen} BLAAAAH—I'm Crack Stuntman. {places hand on chest.} I'm the voice of the {removes hand from chest} gun-shaver on Cheat Commandos! Here with an important rap song about safety {holds up 1 finger} and spring break. {holds up another finger} {points offscreen} Bust it! {music starts playing, Crack's head bobs to the beat}

CRACK STUNTMAN:Well you're a rich kid, living in the suburbs and there's not a whole lot to do.

{shows Reynold's brother walking near a counter}

CRACK STUNTMAN:You're strolling to the kitchen and what do you find? A bunch of knives

{3 knives fall from the top of the frame, each increasing in absurdity in shape.}

CRACK STUNTMAN: —cold staring at you. So,

{cuts to a white background and as the words are said, the words appear}

CRACK STUNTMAN:Kids {spelled as "KIDZ" on screen} don't play with {spelled as "wit'"} too {spelled as "2"} many knives.

CRACK STUNTMAN: C'mon, c'mon. {The words "C'mon C'mon" appear at the top in red, and two while silhouettes of Crack raise their arms on each "C'mon" spoken at the bottom.}

CRACK STUNTMAN: {A small are with Crack singing behind a pink background enlargen to fill the screen.} ,Crack Stuntman, gonna' save some lives. Awwww {The text "AWWW" runs across the screen in white.}

CRACK STUNTMAN:{Cut to a beach. Crack is wearing gold necklaces, and a Pistols For Pandas visor. His arms are crossed, and his index fingers are pointed.}...it's spring break. {The camera zooms in to a larger view of Crack, as he waves his fingers towards the screen.} Girlies running wild

CRACK STUNTMAN:{Tank tops stack on top of each other, all saying 'Fresh!'}Chests to the beach wearin' the freshest styles. {cuts to blue background, Alabama's background is outlined, then Gunhaver's face, hat and arms fill it} Meet a bunch of kids from Alabama!

CRACK STUNTMAN: {cuts to Commandos playing volleyball on the beach against Blue Laser...Silent Rip spikes the ball on Blue Laser's head} Beach volleyball slammajamma!

CRACK STUNTMAN:{cuts to a parking lot where two golf clubs aappear, and two of Cracks heads nod at the bottom corners.} putt-putt, go carts {A steering wheel appears over the clubs.}, bunjee-jumpin'!

CRACK STUNTMAN: {cuts to Crack Stuntman nodding in front of a wall that reads "LOUD BASS" in gray} Crack stuntman keeps the base bumpin'!

CRACK STUNTMAN: {cuts to him in gold necklaces and visor front of a colorful, abstract picture.} Poo-ha-huh-ha-huh, {cuts to two of him in front of the words "SPRING BREAK" in white on an orange background.} poo-ha-huh-ha-huh. {cuts to five of him in a row on a blue and white tiled background, with three of him on toip, upside down, and two of him on bottom, right side up.} Poo-ha-huh-ha-huh, {cuts to pink background where each word of "Poo ha huh ha huh" appears on the screen on its own, appearing when said in the song.} poo-ha-huh-ha-huh. {"Poo ha hoo ha hoo" go across the screen, masking Stuntman singing} Poo-ha-huh-ha-huh. {his arm is scratching a disk to the beat} Poo-poo-ha-ha-ha-huh-haha-huh.

CRACK STUNTMAN: {A stylized dollar bill goes on the screen reading at the top "Holler for a Dollar", and with Crack singing in the space where a president usually is. As Crack sings, unknown singers chime in.} Holler for a dollar! Shout for some clout! {Zoom in on the Crack dollar bill.} Somebody say holler for a dollar, {Cut to many Crack dollar bills piled on top of each other, with Crack singing.} let's turn this party out!

CRACK STUNTMAN: {cuts to commandos and Blue Laser on the beach at night dancing near a bonfire, Foxface walks by} Bon-fire on the beach and people start to dance! Find a fly girlie for some beach romance! {The screen flips on the verical axis. Foxface walks by the bon-fire seen again.} But then a fresh honey comes walkin' by!

CRACK STUNTMAN: {cut to A close up on Crack. He's on the beach in gold necklaces and visor.} How can a man choose between {Cut to Crack in same outfit on beach holding out his right arm. The word "FRESH" falls into his open right hand.} fresh and {The word "FLY" falls into his open left hand.} fly? {Cut to close-up of Crack on the beach at night wearing gold necklaces and visor. The bon-fire burns to the right. He waves his pointer fingers as he sings.} And believe me, there is a difference!

CRACK STUNTMAN: {Cut to beach, where Silent Rip, Blue Laser Minion Firebert, and Blue Laser Commander are gathered around Foxface. All except Foxface wave their hands in the air; Foxface waves hers up and down.} Throw your hands in the air for some high-fives and {Cut to Crack in plain green shirt in front of pink background.} kids don't play with too many knives. {lifts head towards top left} And I am {plunges towards screen.} out!

{Cut to a gray background where the words "Download All Our Number One Jams!!" appear in white on a gray background. The Cheat Commandos theme music plays.}

SINGERS: Download all our number one jams!

Fun Facts

Explanations

  • This toon is a parody of various public service announcements in which prominent media figures (celebrities, politicians, etc.) attempt to give advice to children in the form of catchy songs, rap, etc. Common examples include campaigns against smoking and drug use.

Trivia

  • This is the first toon in which Foxface has been animated. As of this toon, all of the known Cheat Commandos have now been animated at least once.
  • This is the first appearance of Crack Stuntman, previously only featured as an audio recording.

Remarks

  • The golf clubs displayed are not putters.
  • The sound in this toon is considerably higher quality than usual. This was also done in Homestar Presents: Presents.
  • The rap song's overall rhythm and repetition of "come on, come on" is similar to Strong Bad's little rap in the easter egg at the end of Senior Prom.

Goofs

  • This toon's entry in the Toons Menu incorrectly shows a running time of 2:19 in the "Shorts" section. The time is shown correctly in the "What's New" section.
  • By zooming in on Crack Stuntman's second "Pistols for Pandas" visor, it can be seen that the "PFP" on the logo is mirrored. This is possibly because the first visor was mirrored to create the second visor.

Inside References

Real-World References

  • In the page title, "the REAL Cheat Commandos" is a reference to the Ghostbusters cartoon The Real Ghostbusters.

External Links

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