A Decemberween Mackerel

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 04:22, 15 December 2010

At Decemberween time, it's our duty as people with more than one DVR to help those much, much, much, much, way very, very, very much, really smelly, a lot much less fortunate than us.

Senor Cardgage says he's dying so Marzipan tries to stuff him with Decemberween spirit to save him.'

Cast: Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Coach Z, Senor Cardgage, Strong Sad, Senor Cardgage, Pom Pom, Bubs, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, The Cheat, The Poopsmith, The King of Town, Homsar

Places: The Field, Marzipan's House, Bubs' Concession Stand

Date: December 14, 2010

Running Time: 6:05

Page Title: We Come Down Off Our High Horse!

Transcript

{Music plays. A silhouette of Homestar and Marzipan can be seen through the falling snow. Lines representing the wind curl by.}

{Cut to Marzipan with earmuffs and scarf holding a dish and Homestar in his brown hat walking through The Field through the snow. Homestar looks distressed.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Marzipan! Explain to me why we're slogging through this blizzard again? I don't think I can slog much further!

{Cut to a tighter shot of the two}

MARZIPAN: I told you, at Decemberween time, it's our duty as people with more than one DVR to help those much, much, much, much, way very, very, very much, really smelly, a lot much less fortunate than us.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: And, you think bringing him bean sprouts is, ahem, helping?

{Pull back to a wider shot. Marzipan looks angrily at Homestar.}

MARZIPAN: Be quite and keep slogging. We're almost there.

{A bush comes into view.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ah, man! This guy? {They stop walking} When you said less fortunate, I just assumed you meant Coach Z.

{Coach Z pops up in the foreground from under a snow drift wearing a Blubb-O's box}

COACH Z: Me too!

{Coach Z disappears}

{A doorbell sounds. Senor Cardgage rises into view accompanied by traffic sounds. He's facing away from Marzipan and Homestar.}

SENOR CARDGAGE: Hello, Chi Minh?

MARZIPAN: Hi, Mr. Senor! Happy Decemberween!

{Cut to a tighter shot of the three of them.}

SENOR CARDGAGE: Is this a frank, call?

MARZIPAN: No, no, over here. {Cardgage turns around.} We brought you some food for the holidays.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah. We came down off of our high horse to spread a little Decemberween cheer.

SENOR CARDGAGE: Thank you, Hot Pooey. {Homestar looks mad. Zip pan to a close-up of the bush.} Do you care to coincide?

{Close-up of Homestar and Marzipan}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Marzipan, did that guy just call me "Hot Pooey"? And invite me inside that bush?

MARZIPAN: {embarrassed} Maybe?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's it, I'm going back to your house. Later on, we'll conspire.

{Cut back to a wider shot. Homestar walks off screen left. Cardgage is now shaking.}

MARZIPAN: Oh, you poor wretch. What's the matter?

{Cut to medium shot of Marzipan and Cardgage.}

SENOR CARDGAGE: Oh, not much... I'm just... dying.

MARZIPAN: Gasp!

{A red title card with a holly border slides in from screen right. Words appear as the singers sing them.}

SINGERS: A Decemberween Mackerel. (The name of this cartoon.)

{Crossfade to Homestar wearing a mistletoe sweater and a red bow laying on Marzipan's couch, the camera slowing trucking back to reveal his entire body.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, Marzipan! Is that you? I'm wearing a sweater made out of mistletoe! A what feels like a colony of venomous bugs!

{Cut to a wider shot. Cardgage enters screen right.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ah! You!

SENOR CARDGAGE: {sing-song} Hot pooey.

{Marzipan follows screen right.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Marzipan! What's the big idea of bringing this guy home? {Cut to close-up to Homestar} I was about to give you your December make-out present. {Homestar winks and clicks with his mouth.}

{Cut back to previous shot.}

MARZIPAN: This is serious, Homestar. Senor Cardgage is dying! {Cardgage nods}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, cool. We'll just make out after. What do you give him, five minutes? No minutes? {Homestar steps towards Marzipan.} No minutes?

{Close up of Marzipan. She's angry. }

MARZIPAN: Homestar, I don't have time to trick you into making out with a mop again this year. {Her expression clears} Hmm, if we cram him full of enough holiday cheer, maybe he can squeeze out a Decemberween miracle!

{Cut to medium shot of all three}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, I love cramming holiday cheer. I'll go get my {pulls from off screen} tinsel wrapped cram rod!

{Beat. Homestar glances around once.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay, I'm back.

{Push wipe up red card reading "Holiday Cheer Cramlist" "Caroling"}

{Push wipe up to reveal Homestar, Marzipan and Cardgage outside singing at sunset around a bathtub with chains around it. Homestar is waving his cram rod and Marzipan is holding a candle.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER & MARZIPAN: {singing} Coach Z has been drinking non-specific mouthwash-ween.

{A arm with papers shoots in from screen left.}

MAN: I need you to sign here.

{Homestar pushes the papers away with his cram rod.}

STRONG SAD: {echoey} Oh, thanks guys. That warms my heart.

{Cut to a shot inside of the tub. Strong Sad's face is seen in the bottom right of the frame and a chain around his body. Homestar is looking through the slats above.}

STRONG SAD: Not enough to stave off hypothermia, of course. But a month-long {cut back to outside. Cardgage is groaning and swaying} coma isn't something I haven't dealt with before.

SENOR CARDGAGE: My coma's toast....

MARZIPAN: Time to go!

{The Marzipan and Cardgage dash off screen right, while Homestar follows.}

{Cut to red card as before. Caroling is crossed out and "Greeting Card" is in the center. A musical sting plays.}

{Push wipe down to reveal Pom Pom with a camera on a tripod and lighting umbrellas behind him. He is gesturing with an arm.}

POM POM: {bubbling noises}

{Reverse shot reveals Homestar in his mistletoe sweater, Marzipan with lights in her ponytail and Cardgage wearing a olive green cardigan. Homestar moves slightly to the right in the frame.}

{Reverse shot. Pom Pom gestures his arm up.}

POM POM: {bubbling noises}

{Reverse shot. Marzipan moves up slightly.}

{Reverse shot. Pom Pom gestures to his right.}

POM POM: {bubbling noises}

{Reverse shot. Cardgage moves slightly to the right.}

{Reverse shot. Pom Pom, irritated, gestures his arm and bubbles for a long time.}

POM POM: {bubbling noises}

{Reverse shot. Cardgage continues to move to the right until his is halfway out of the frame.}

{Reverse shot. Pom Pom indicates for Cardgage to stop.}

POM POM: {bubbling noises}

{He picks up Gooblies and squeezes him. There is a white flash and cuts to a card with "Seasoned Greetings", with Homestar and Marzipan, and Cargage halfway out of the frame.}

MARZIPAN: Okay, now we need to make the corresponding {cut to a wider shot, showing the card in the lower left, while Marzipan is wearing half-moon glasses.} newsletter to brag about our family. {Marzipan clicks the pen and takes a deep breath. As she starts to write, the words appear behind her.} This year was so great! Our family is so great! I can't believe Homestar has started fourth grade! How time flies. It's so great! Senor Cardgage won first place in sports and was selected to be terminally ill! I'm in book club and PTA carpool and redoing the backsplash. It's so great! Warm wishes, The Marzipan-Homestar-Cardgages. {Marzipan finishes by writing on the table}

{Cut to Homestar sitting on the arm of the couch with his cram stick. Cardgage is lying on the couch.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Our family is, literately and figuratively, so great! {Cardgage groans}

MARZIPAN: {off-screen} Moving on!

{Push wipe left red title card. Caroling and Greeting Card are now crossed out with "Waiting In Line" in the center.}

{Push wipe left to reveal Bubs' Concession Stand. A silhouette of Bubs can be seen waving his arms. A line of people can be seen, ending with Marzipan and Cardgage. Camera slowly pans and reveal Homestar in the foreground.}

BUBS: {faintly} I've got a deal on everything. I've got all sorts of stuff!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Say, Bubs. {Camera pans to reveal Bubs standing next to Homestar. Homestar pokes him with the cram rod.} What's this line for?

BUBS: The holidays.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Perfect! How long is it?

BUBS: Three miles or eighteen days. {Pull back to reveal Cardgage standing behind them. He begins to groan.} Whichever comes first.

{Cardgage turns around groaning. Bubs looks annoyed.}

{Marzipan sticks her head in screen right.}

MARZIPAN: Okay, that's enough. Let's move Preoow! {She grabs Cardgage and dashes off screen right. Homestar is stunned.}

{Push wipe right red title card as before. Caroling, Greeting Card and Waiting In Line are all crossed off, with "Tree Lighting" now in the center.}

{Push wipe right to Coach Z standing next to Homestar. Homestar is waving his cram rod.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Nothing crams Decemberween cheer like the annual lighting {Cut to wider shot of Coach Z, Homestar, Marzipan and Cardgage standing around the telephone pole. Yellow lights are strung from the pole, and an orange extension cord is in the foreground. Cardgage sways.} the lights attached to a pole in a tree-shaped fashion.

{Cut back to the shot of Coach Z and Homestar. Homestar has picked up the extension cord.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: If this doesn't cure him, nothing will!

COACH Z: Don't I know it! Last year, these lights cured me of chronic athlete's tongue and the year before that, it was rug rush, and then hot pooey—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Excuse me, your disgusting. Barf.

{Homestar throws up and turns away. Coach Z looks disappointed. Homestar than plugs in the extension cord.}

{Cut to a wider shot. The lights turn on.}

COACH Z & MARZIPAN: Oh!

{Cut to medium shot of Marzipan and Cardgage. Cardgage is disheveled and his glasses are falling off.}'

MARZIPAN: Oh wow, if it was pitch black and I squinted and I was a few miles away, {cut to a wide silhouette of all standing around the tree} this would sort of look like a tree almost! {Cut back to previous shot.} Isn't it wonderous, Senor? A real miracle-inducing spectacle, isn't it?

SENOR CARDGAGE: {moans} Oh, my Toyota crashed it all... {Cardgage falls down}

{Cut to wider shot with Cardgage in the snow.}

MARZIPAN: Oh, no!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, yes!

{Strong Bad, Strong Mad and The Cheat come in from the bottom of the frame. Cut to medium shot of Marzipan and Strong Bad, with Strong Mad in a sweater and The Cheat green hat behind him.}

STRONG BAD: What's going on here?

MARZIPAN: Help, quick! I think Senor Cardgage is dying!

STRONG BAD: What makes you think that?

{Cut to close up of Marzipan}

MARZIPAN: He told me so when I brought him a hot covered dish to brighten his dismal life.

{Cut back to the medium shot}

STRONG BAD: He told you. {Close up of Strong Bad} You decided to take at face value something a guy who lives in a bush and talks to melty candy bars said.

{Cut back to medium shot}

MARZIPAN: Maybe?

STRONG BAD: And, not fifteen minutes ago, told me I {cut to the Basement of the Brothers Strong. Strong Bad is standing on the arm of the orange couch and Cardgage is standing next to it. Marzipan's dish is sitting on the couch.} might paste away if I Dinty Moore. {Strong Bad begins to leap on the dish.}

{Cut back to The Field. Cardgage stirs and holds up a can that says "Dented")

SENOR CARDGAGE: You rally might, Pez dispenser. {He collapses}

{Close up of Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: Besides, everyone knows the way to save Senor Cardgage is to cut a bunch of motor sports magazines in half and pour gravy on a defibrillator. A-like so.

{Cut Strong Mad with magazines that read "Modasports. The 20[covered] Tomatocyle!!!! Daaaang!" The Cheat is standing next to a defibrillator and a gravy boat. Strong Mad grunts and pulls the magazines apart. The Cheat then takes the gravy boat and pours the gravy on the defibrillator. Music plays and the silhouette of Cardgage can be seen rising.}

{Cut to a shot of Cardgage with rays behind him, standing tall.}

SENOR CARDGAGE: Oh, my grabness, grabness. It really is—

{Cut to a shot of all standing around the tree. Strong Sad is still in his tub, next to The King of Town and Strong Mad. The Poopsmith is standing behind Bubs screen left.}

ALL: A Decemberween mackerel!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: And nobody's dying.

{Cut to an emaciated Homsar lying in the snow, his hat faintly wiggling as he speaks}

HOMSAR: Help! I'm your guest door neighbor. Puff. Cough. Tough.

{Red card with End appears}

Easter Eggs

• Clicking on the E on "End" at the end of the toon will show a quick scene of Homestar Runner making out with "Marzipan".

(The door of Marzipan's closet is shown, with some mistletoe leaves scattered outside it. Homestar's voice comes from inside the closet)

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh...Oh, I must say...Oh, twice...Marzipan, it's so romantic the way you lured me into this closet! (Marzipan is seen walking by the closet) ...And the way your wet stringy face tastes like seven kitchen floors! (Homestar coughs) ...Cockroach.

• Clicking on the D on "End" at the end of the toon will show a new product from the makers of "Hot Jones".

(A mug of Hot Jones is shown)

ANNOUNCER: From the makers of Hot Jones comes Hot Pooey, our newest holiday sensation! (The mug is replaced by a different mug, the contents of which are censored) Hot Pooey! Oh dear God...what have we done?

Fun Facts

Explanations

• A DVR is a digital video recorder.
• To come down off your high horse is to stop thinking less of other people.

Trivia

• The RSS description for this toon is:

Surprise! Like an errant reindeer that's come loose from the sleigh, hurtling towards the earth at breakneck speed, bursting into flames, and impact cratering the crap out of your front yard...It's a Decemberween cartoon! Marzipan takes it upon herself to try and improve Senor Cardgage's dismal life. Man! Years go by fast, huh?! Cram that holiday cheer! Cram it!

• This is only the second toon of 2010.
• On the homepage, when "new holiday toon!" is moused over, it words change to "for real!"
• This episode is the first to shown in new, higher dimensions.

Remarks

A Decemberween Miracle

Ohh, there's two of them!

• Much like Homestar Presents: Presents, this cartoon appears to be recorded in higher quality sound than usual.
• For four frames, while the title is coming to the foreground, it reads "A Decemberween Miracle".
• During the caroling, the candle Marzipan is holding is the same as in the email love poems.
• Hot Pooey, beneath its censored bar, is identical to Hot Jones.

Goofs

• There's a considerable amount of de-synchronization starting near the middle of this toon and staying at about the same magnitude lasting until the end.

Inside References

• Strong Sad is locked in a bathtub.
• This is another instance of making out, death, and spoken sound effects.
• Homestar says "Oh, Twice" in one of the easter eggs.
• Coach Z pops up wearing a Blubb-O's box.
• The silhouettes of Homeschool Winner, Rafferdy, Preshy, Champeen, The Hurricane and three Unguraits (standing on each others' heads) appear in line for Bubs' Concession Stand.
• The last line of Marzipan and Homestar's carol, "Coach Z's been drinking nonspecific mouthwash," is a reference to the song "O Decemberween" at the end of The Best Decemberween Ever. The original line was "Coach Z's been drinking Listerine."
• Senor Cardgage appears from hammerspace, accompanied by the traffic noise first heard in hremail3184.
• Pom Pom picks up Gooblies when taking the picture.
• Homestar saying "That is literally, and figuratively, so great" is a refrence to Jibblies 2.
• The tomatocycle previously showed up in Where U Goin' 2?
• Homestar pukes when Coach Z tells him about his illnesses.

Real World References

• Homestar's quote, "Later on, we'll conspire," is from the Christmas song "Winter Wonderland".
• Dinty Moore is a brand of canned stew.
• "Hello, Chi Minh" is a play on Ho Chi Minh.
• Cardgage calls Strong Bad "Pez dispenser."

External Links

• watch "A Decemberween Mackerel" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "A Decemberween Mackerel"
• forum thread re: "A Decemberween Mackerel"