Homestar Runner Wiki - User contributions [en]

Where's an Egg?

76.18.71.238 — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 06:45:06 GMT

76.18.71.238: /* Strategy */

{{vgamenav|wheresanegg|50k Racewalker|Duck Guardian One}}

[[Image:wheresanegg.PNG|thumb|A renegade cop with nothing to lose and an egg on his mind.]]
[[Image:Where'sAnEggboxart.png‎|thumb|Where's an Egg? box art.<br /> Где – Яйцо?]]
''"In this hard-bolied  adventure game, you must help the Boise police force find a missing egg. Not in Mancuso's garage? Try Brodermaker's gymbag. Everyone's a suspect when 'Where's an Egg?' is the game that you are playing. And that's this game!!"'' -[[Videlectrix]]

'''Where's an Egg?''' is a game by [[Videlectrix]].

'''Date:''' Monday, July 16, 2007

'''Page Title:''' Where's an Egg?

==Instructions==
The object of the game is to find an egg that one of the suspects is hiding. The task is a variation on the [[Wikipedia:Knights and Knaves|Knights and Knaves]] puzzle, in which suspects either always lie or always tell the truth. After you think you know who or where an egg is, you go to that location and shoot the suspect, who will give up an egg if you have guessed correctly.

After clicking on the title screen, you are presented with several locations in a city. Clicking on the thumbnails will take you to those locations, at which you will encounter a suspect with an item. From the menu at the bottom of the screen, you can choose one of any of the items or suspects you've encountered. When you choose an item, the suspect will tell you the location where that item can be found or the suspect who has it. When you choose a suspect from your menu, the character on the screen will tell you where that suspect can be found or what item they have. Once again, they may or may not be telling the truth.

There are three other notable replies you may receive. If you ask a suspect about himself or about the items he carries, he will respond with a [[Wikipedia:smiley|smiley face]]. If you ask a suspect about anything after shooting him, he will respond with a red cross. Also, if you ask a suspect about an egg and he replies with a question mark, he does not have any information about the location of an egg.

== Strategy ==
Since a given suspect either always lies or always tells the truth, their reply about the location of an egg can be tested by asking them questions to which you know the answer. For example, if they give you information about an egg, you can ask them about an item and verify that the location or suspect with which they reply indeed corresponds to that item. If the answer they give is correct, then the location of an egg that they give is correct as well.

The above method can be modified by first asking about the first person or item you have seen, then if the suspect answers correctly, ask about an egg. Continue asking all the suspects the same question until you find a person who gives a correct answer and knows about an egg. If none are found, revisit your first person and ask about an egg. Then simply find the culprit and shoot him.

In some cases, a lying suspect may reveal themselves as such by giving the same answer for two different questions (e.g., suggesting that two different characters have a potted plant) or, due to a programming error, even answering with their own face when questioned about a different item.

Another strategy is to ask every suspect the location of an egg until you have two replies that agree. In that case, it is likely, though not certain, that the suspect they incriminate indeed has an egg.

In order to keep accurate track of which person matches which object, just quickly visit all of the locations before asking anyone a question. This will cause each person and their object to appear in the same order at the bottom of the screen. Once you have visited all locations, start asking each person where the egg is. Once you find someone who replies, figure out if they are a truth-teller or a liar by seeing if their responses properly match up people to their object. If they are a truth-teller, move on to asking about the egg. If they tell the truth, you know who has the egg.

However, one haphazard strategy is to simply shoot three random people. This gives a 1 in 3 chance of winning, with no real effort.

== Suspects, locations, and items ==
Suspects, locations, and items are randomly assigned for each game.
===Suspects===
<gallery>
Image:Where's an Egg - Suspects - Blonde Woman.png | <center>Blonde woman</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Suspects - Blue Hat.png | <center>Blue hat man</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Suspects - Maid.png | <center>Butcher</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Suspects - Butler.png | <center>Butler</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Suspects - John.png | <center>[[John McEnroe]]</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Suspects - Mechanic.png | <center>Mechanic </center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Suspects - Old Lady.png | <center>Old Woman</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Suspects - Kid Speedy.png | <center>Red-haired boy</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Suspects - Red Hat.png | <center>Red hat man</center>
</gallery>

===Locations===
<gallery>
Image:Where's an Egg - Locations - Aquarium.png | <center>Aquarium</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Locations - Theater.png | <center>Art museum</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Locations - Museum.png | <center>Bank</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Locations - Beach.png | <center>Beach</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Locations - Pier.png | <center> Bridge</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Locations - City.png | <center> City</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Locations - Desert.png | <center> Desert</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Locations - Siberia.png | <center> Icy mountains</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Locations - Forest.png | <center> Park</center>
</gallery>
===Items===
<gallery>
Image:Where's an Egg - Items - Egg.png | <center>An [[egg]]</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Items - Beer.png | <center>[[Alcohol|Beer]]</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Items - Bomb.png | <center>Bomb</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Items - Cat.png | <center>Cat</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Items - Duffel.png | <center>Gym bag</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Items - Pencil.png | <center>Pencil</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Items - Plant.png | <center>Potted plant</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Items - Slingshot.png | <center>Slingshot</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Items - Strawberry.png | <center>Strawberry</center>
Image:Where's an Egg - Items - Wrench.png | <center>Wrench</center>
</gallery>

== Endings ==
[[Image:Where's an egg loose screen.PNG|thumb|Lose screen]]
If you run out of time or shoot three characters who do not have an egg, the game ends. The character who did have an egg is shown running with it through the area they were in, and the main character is shown in the icy mountains wearing prison clothes and a ball-and-chain. He quickly turns into a skeleton.

[[Image:Where's an egg win screen.PNG|thumb|left|Win screen]]
If you successfully shoot the character who has an egg, a uniformed man (probably [[Wikipedia:Joseph Stalin|Stalin]]) awards you with a badge in front of [[Wikipedia:Lenin's Mausoleum|Lenin's Mausoleum]]. The screen pans up to the sky, where fireworks shoot off. If the game was completed with enough time left on the clock, different spaceships fly through the sky:
*901–940 seconds left — one spaceship
*941–970 seconds left — two spaceships
*971 or more seconds left — three spaceships, the last of which is exited by a cosmonaut

{{clear}}

== Fun Facts ==
===Trivia===
*This game was released more than two and a half years after its description was featured on the Videlectrix website. The [[main page message]] announcing its release read: '''new' videlectrix game!''
*The language used in the game is [[wikipedia:Russian language|Russian]], and is understandable to a native speaker, although there are various grammatical and stylistic errors (see [[#Translations|Translation section]]).
*After shooting someone who does not have an egg, you can still question them and they will reply with the symbol for the [[Wikipedia:International Red Cross and Red Crescent Movement|Red Cross]] (indicating they require medical attention). The Red Cross has recently been [http://www.redcross.ca/article.asp?id=016637&tid=001 trying to stop game creators from using their logo this way].
*In every game, there are either three or four suspects who tell the truth, and either three or four suspects who will give an answer when asked about an egg. Three is more common in both cases. 
*Each suspect has a theme song that plays when you visit them.
**If a suspect talks about another person, that person's theme plays in the right speaker.
**If you ask about another person, that person's theme plays in the left speaker.
**If you shoot a suspect, their theme song volume is lowered.
**The victory music is all of the suspects' themes played on top of each other.
*Where's an Egg? is shown on a [[Floppy Disk Container|floppy disk]] in the introductions for [[strongbad_email.exe]] Discs [[strongbad_email.exe Disc Three|Three]] and [[strongbad_email.exe Disc Five|Five]].

===Remarks===
[[Image:Eggpage2.jpg|thumb|Page 13 of the instruction manual]]
*A [[Videlectrix:eggction.html|page of the manual]] was also made available at the same time as the game was released.
*Although the Videlectrix description suggests that an egg may be in "Mancuso's garage", a garage is not one of the locations in the game, although there is a mechanic.

===Goofs===
*For the first second of the game, the timer reads 000, when its true value is 999. One second later, it changes to 998. If you manage to win in that first second, it will read 999 on the victory screen.
*The game has a check to prevent liars from replying with their own picture, item, or location, but a programming error allows them to answer with their own picture when questioned about an item that isn't theirs.

===Glitches===
*If you shoot the last bullet at the wrong person right before time is up, when the clock runs to 000, you will be presented with a win screen with the perpetrator sliding across the screen, plus the lose screen in Siberia, then presented with a medal.

===Inside References===
*This is another mention of [[eggs]] and [[alcohol]].
*The main character wields a [[gun]].
*All of the suspects [[Lack of Visible Arms|lack visible arms]].
*[[Some Type of Online Auction]] was previously used to sell a half-eaten breakfast burrito in [[english paper]].
*The red-haired boy shares several features with both [[Kid Speedy]] and [[Ron Cumberdale]] from [[Peasant's Quest]].

===Real-World References===
*[[Wikipedia:Boise, Idaho|Boise]] is the capital city of the US state [[Wikipedia:Idaho|Idaho]].
*Brodermaker is a reference to video game company [[Wikipedia:Brøderbund|Brøderbund]], makers of the [[Wikipedia:Carmen Sandiego|Carmen Sandiego]] games.
**This game is also very similar, in some aspects, to the early Carmen Sandiego games.
*The music at the beginning of the game accompanying the Videlectrix logo is from the traditional Russian [[Wikipedia:The Volga Boatmen's Song|Song of the Volga Boatmen]].
*The three spacecraft that fly across the screen in the ending sequence are [[Wikipedia:Sputnik 1|Sputnik 1]], [[Wikipedia:Vostok 1|Vostok 1]], and [[Wikipedia:Voskhod 2|Voskhod 2]], commemorating three "firsts" of the Russian space program: the first artificial satellite, the [[Wikipedia:Yuri Gagarin|first man in space]], and the [[Wikipedia:Aleksei Leonov|first spacewalk]], respectively.
**The congratulation scene is reminiscent of the [[Wikipedia:Game_Boy|Game Boy]] and [[Wikipedia:NES|NES]] versions of [[Wikipedia:Tetris|Tetris]] (A game that is famous for having come out of Russia), in which the player was shown rocket and shuttle launches of spacecraft at the end of a game depending on how well the player did.
*Gameplay bears certain superficial similarities to the board game [[Wikipedia:Cluedo|Clue]], being a [[Wikipedia:Whodunit|whodunit]] wherein a specific accusation must be formulated from a set of distinct suspects, items and locations.
*The scene where the main character is stuck in icy mountains with a ball and chain is a reference to the old Russian practice of [[Wikipedia:Gulag|exiling criminals]] to [[Wikipedia:Siberia|Siberia]], which is a cold, mountainous region of Russia.

===Translations===
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=5 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Location !! Message !! Transliteration !! Translation !! Notes
|-
| Loading screen || телевизионный электрический || televizzionniy elektricheskii || Videlectrix || ''Literally:'' "televisual electric"
|-
| Title || Где – Яйцо? || Gde Yaitso? || Where's an egg? || Russian has no article, so it is impossible to make a distinction between "the egg" and "an egg" and the title could refer to either. The dash in the title is incorrect; such a dash is only used to separate a predicate from a noun phrase (an action from an object) instead of the present tense of the verb "to be", which does not exist in Russian.
|-
| Inscription above the columns of the gray building || Берег || Bereg || Bank || The word has the sense of "riverbank", as opposed to a financial service institution, which would be "банк" (Bank). Furthermore, the game mistakenly uses a capital "R" instead of the Cyrillic "г", which resembles a lowercase "r".
|-
| When you discover who had an egg || виновник || vinovnik || criminal ''or'' guilty person ||
|-
| rowspan="2" | When you win the game || поздравление || pozdravlenie || congratulations || Although English speakers often use the noun "Congratulations," a Russian would probably have used a verb: "I congratulate you with your victory." The verb is often dropped entirely from such phrases, leaving only "with your victory."
|-
| ЛЕНИН || LENIN || [[Wikipedia:Vladimir Lenin|Lenin]] || An entrance to [[Wikipedia:Lenin's Mausoleum|Lenin's Mausoleum]]
|-
| rowspan="2" | When you lose || гулаг || gulag || [[Wikipedia:Gulag|Gulag]] || The name given to the Soviet labor camps
|-
| игра законченный || igra zakonchenniy || game over || This phrase is incorrect due to misuse of gender (nouns have genders in Russian). Grammatically correct phrase would read "игра закончена" (igra zakonchena).
|}

==External Links==
*[[Videlectrix:wheresanegg.html|Play Where's an Egg?]]
*[[Videlectrix:egg7.swf|Play Where's an Egg? (Flash file)]]
*[[Videlectrix:eggction.html|View the auction for the instructions]]
*[[Forum:11947|forum thread re: "Where's An Egg?"]]
{{subtitlesLinks|wheresanegg}}
{{VidelectrixGames}}
[[Category:Videlectrix Games]]

Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters

76.18.71.238 — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 05:35:49 GMT

76.18.71.238: /* Issue 5 */

Some characters make a very brief appearance in [[Teen Girl Squad]], often hurting one of the girls. Usually they are never seen again, but in the [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10|10th Issue special]], many of these characters made cameo appearances at [[The Ugly One]]'s Sweet Someteen Birthday Bash.
[[Image:Sweetsometeen.PNG|500px|thumb|right|A party of minor characters]]

__TOC__
{{clear}}
==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 1|Issue 1]]==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Image !! Description
|-
|[[Image:The_Helicopter.PNG|150px|Bang-bang-bang!]] ||
=====A Helicopter=====
This helicopter attacked some [[The Birds|birds]] with a [[Guns|machine gun]]. Surprisingly, this aircraft was the first object to be seen harming living creatures in the entire series, yet its victims did not include one of the girls. [[Strong Bad]] supplied the rapid fire noise of its deadly projectiles.
|-
| [[Image:Dinosaur.PNG|150px|Bend It Like Beckhamasaurus Rex]] ||

=====The Dinosaur=====
The [[dinosaur]] punted [[What's Her Face]] across the cartoon. Just after this, she was heard to remark, "Dag, yo." She is presumed to have died upon landing. The dinosaur also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza, where it was revealed to have bloody teeth.
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 2|Issue 2]]==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Image !! Description
|-
|[[Image:Cloud_Monster.PNG|150px|Bad weather]] ||
=====Cloud Monster=====
As the girls go to look so good, a cloud in the background grows angry eyes and a mouthful of sharp teeth. It then quickly chomps on some [[The Birds|birds]].
|-
|[[Image:paul_no_I_in_team.png|150px|No "I" in dead either]] ||

=====No "i" in team boy=====
He is a boy who goes out with [[So and So]], which causes her friends to get jealous. When So and So mentions that she's totally crushing, the boy gets hit by a delivery truck (driven by [[Arrow'd Guy]]) marked "'''CHILDREN'''". He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza. He appears again, silhouetted, in an Easter egg in the email [[death metal]].
|-
|[[Image:Vulture.png|left|150px|SWOOP'D!!]]<br clear="left">
[[Image:Bat.png|left|150px|GRASP'D!]]
||

=====The Vulture and the Bat=====
The Vulture swooped [[The Ugly One]] when she got jealous of [[So and So]]'s getting the "No 'i' in team boy" to date her. The Bat grasped [[Cheerleader]] for the same reasons as the vulture.
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 3|Issue 3]]==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Image !! Description
|-
| [[Image:Buzzsaw sun.png|150px|Preeow!]] ||
=====Buzzsaw Sun=====
The sun turned into a buzzsaw, and chopped up some [[The Birds|birds]] in this episode.
|-
|[[Image:Thrift_Store_Girl.PNG|150px|Boy or girl?]] ||
=====Thrift Store Person=====
This person is found at the thrift store that [[What's Her Face]] shopped at, where she stays behind a rack of shirts, holding a sign that reads, "1 or 2 cent each item." In the [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 3]] DVD commentary, Strong Bad says that she is a "homeless woman."
|-
|[[Image:Possum_Attack.PNG|150px|"Poooosssssummmmms...!"]] ||

=====Possums=====
A wave of possums, announced by a menacingly voiced "Poooosssssummmmms...!" attacked [[What's Her Face]] as she walked home from the thrift store. They got her dirty and tore her clothing, but didn't kill her. When she met up with the other girls, one possum was seen still attacking her. The possum attack apparently made [[What's Her Face]]'s blood hurt. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza. 
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 4|Issue 4]]==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Image !! Description
|-
| [[Image:Pierced_Heart.PNG|150px|Cupid strikes back]] ||
=====Brett Bretterson=====
Brett is an imaginary person whom So And So made up in first grade. He is mentioned in Teen Girl Squad Issues 4 and 10. Ignoring her friends' denial of Brett's reality, So And So interacts with "Brett" as if she could actually see and hear him. This causes the other girls to be weirded out. Brett and So And So were going to study together when their plans were ended abruptly by falling in the Fighting Growlbacks [[Bottomless Pits|Bottomless Spirit Pit]].

So And So is in love with Brett, and when she thinks of him hearts appear over her head. One of them grew a face just as it was pierced with an arrow.

In the tenth episode, So And So states that she and Brett Brett[[Names Ending in -erson|erson]] are "Splitsville".

Brett may or may not be a real person, too; he is listed in the [[best thing#Credits listed|credits]] for [[Limozeen: "but they're in space!"]] as the "Worst animator". Strong Bad confirms this in the [[best thing#Commentary Transcript|DVD commentary]] for [[best thing]].
|-
| [[Image:quarterback.png|150px|Quarterman]] ||

=====Quarterback=====
The quarterback for the Fighting Growlbacks is a target of the affections of [[Cheerleader]]. He dismisses her with the quip "How's about you get some brains?" This causes Cheerleader to get CEREBELLUM'D by [[Arrow'd Guy]]'s Giant Brain Mech (see below). He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:Cerebellumed_Cheerleader.PNG|150px|Cerebellum'd!]] ||

=====Giant Brain Mech=====
The Giant Brain Mech is a giant brain with lips and an eye patch. It is apparently mechanical, because [[Arrow'd Guy]] can be seen controlling the brain under a glass dome. The brain CEREBELLUM'D! [[Cheerleader]] when the Quarterback suggested that she should go get some brains.
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 5|Issue 5]]==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Image !! Description
|-
|[[Image:perchingbird.png|150px|PERCH!]] ||
=====Fat Bird=====
The fat bird is first seen in Issue 5, perched on the "meanwhile, ON VACATION" sign in the transition scene. Later in the cartoon, when The Ugly One gets nervous and sticks her head in the sand, the fat bird flies down and perches on her side. The bird doesn't seem to do anything after that. It just sits there with its tongue hanging out for the rest of the cartoon.
|-
| [[Image:oldaboys.png|150px|Lying around...]] ||
=====Olda Boys=====
The olda boys are college boys that were at the vacation beach with Cheerleader, So and So, and The Ugly One. One misses video games, but the other misses his mom even more. They combine their sayings into a techno-like jam in an easter-egg. The spiky-haired one earned a [[Quote of the Week#QW-2004-03-08|Quote of the Week]]. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:Famous or Cool Guys.PNG|150px|Cool or famous]] ||

=====[[Wikipedia:Henry Rollins|Henry Rollins]], [[Wikipedia:Abraham Lincoln|Abraham Lincoln]], and [[Wikipedia:George Washington|George Washington]]=====
These are the "cool or famous" people who look at the nervous The Ugly One and then parasail with So and So. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza. There, Henry Rollins was revealed to be an odd red color, a likely reference to [http://21361.com/site_2004/watch_listen.html the music video for "Liar"] (from the album ''Weight''--Henry Rollins Band, Imago Records 1994). Also, Abraham Lincoln seems to [[Lack of visible arms|lack visible arms]].
|}

==[[Decemberween Teen Girl Squad|Issue 6]]==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Image !! Description
|-
|[[Image:giftexchangelion.png|150px|Now with more 3-legged action!]] ||
=====Gift Exchange Lion=====
This [[lion]], who seems to be missing a leg, appears in Decemberween Teen Girl Squad. Cheerleader, So and So, and The Ugly One all dive into its mouth in pursuit of [[Decemberween]] presents, but What's Her Face declines on the grounds that she is vegan. For some reason the [[Teen Girl Squad Locations#Inside the Lion|inside of the lion]] looks like the inside of a whale. He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:smileyfaceman.png|150px|A nose from the happy judge]] ||

=====Smiley Face Man=====
This happy fellow is a judge in the Decemberween Teen Girl Squad. He and the other two judges (who are both [[Arrow'd Guy]]) TWO'D The Ugly One for her cannonball into the Gift Exchange Lion's mouth. He rates Cheerleader's dive into the lion's mouth a "nose" along with the other judges. Noticeable is the fact that he can move his arms along his skinny body. His "shoulder" is not visible until he lifts up the sign. Little else is known about this person, or what the value of a "nose" is in competitive Lion's mouth jumping. He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:hawiianguy.png|150px|Singing about babies]] ||

=====Hawaiian Guy=====
This musician wears a Hawaiian shirt and plays a ukulele. He sang "Wave o' Babies" as a wave of babies appeared. He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
| [[Image:Wave of Babies.PNG|150px|A virtual tsunami of infants.]] ||

=====Wave o' Babies=====
These babies are in a giant wave that crashed into What's Her Face. They are seen caving onto What's Her Face, but the actual crash is not shown. It is possible that the wave just swept past without stopping. This is further supported by the fact that after the crash, only two babies are visible clinging onto What's Her Face, while all the others are gone. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:gazelle_carcass_half-digested.PNG|150px|Bonus: Half-Digested!]] ||
=====Gazelle Carcass=====
This half-digested animal is presented by [[The Ugly One]] at the very end of Decemberween Teen Girl Squad to [[Cheerleader]] to her dismay. All of the other girls seem to be pleased at the sight of the dead animal, despite the negative aspects of decomposing carcasses.
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 7|Issue 7]]==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Image !! Description
|-
|[[Image:squished_fatman.PNG|150px|Squished.]] ||
=====Fat Man=====
He's a fat man who wears a singlet similar to Strong Mad's. He fell down a slide and squished Teeny Tiny Cheerleader while she was throwing a tantrum. He bears a resemblance to pro wrestler [[Wikipedia:King Kong Bundy|King Kong Bundy]] and performs the [[Wikipedia:King Kong Bundy#Finishing and signature moves|Bundy Splash]], one of his signature moves.
|-
| [[Image:billbellamy.png|150px|The bell tolls for thee]] ||

=====Bill Bellamy=====
This is the bell seen in Issue 7 in the Teeny Tiny Girl Squad's [[Teen Girl Squad Locations#Diaper School|preschool]]. His role is similar to that of the Intercom, but specific relationship details are unknown. He bears the same name as actor and comedian [[IMDB:nm0004740|Bill Bellamy]].
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 8|Issue 8]]==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Image !! Description
|-
|[[Image:TGS_Intercom.png|120px|Who's that hiding in the wheel?]] ||
=====Intercom=====
The intercom is a feature of the Teen Girl Squad's school. As it is hanging up high in the girls' classroom, it is responsible for announcing things like the school lunch and commands. Later in the cartoon, the Intercom is seen mounted on a robot body, hosting the Battle of the Bands. It introduced the bands "Fatty's Big Chance" and the Teen Girl Squad "[[Kissyboots]]." It also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party on its stand, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza, nursing a martini.
|-
|[[Image:floortommed.png|150px|Floor Tom, the evil drum]] ||

=====Floor Tom=====
When [[The Ugly One]] does her 16-hour drum solo, she was rudely interrupted by an evil '''[[Wikipedia:Floor tom|floor tom]]''' when it FLOOR TOMMED her by biting her top half off. This was just one of three events that stopped her drum solo, as she was also STEP-MOMMED and [[Pom Pom|POM-POMMED]].
|-
|[[Image:stepmom.jpg|150px|"YOU LITTLE BRATS BEST SHUT YER YAPS!!!"]] ||

=====Mrs. So-and-so-erson=====
Mrs. So-and-so-[[Names ending in -erson|erson]] is [[So and So]]'s "step-mom". "She" resembles [[Arrow'd Guy]] in lipstick and a jogging suit; it's debatable whether she is in fact the same person. As [[Cheerleader]] states, she has questionable taste, which is agreed upon by [[What's Her Face]] after observing the many jogging suits in her [[Mrs. So-and-so-erson's Walk-in Closet|walk-in closet]]. She "STEP-MOMMED" [[The Ugly One]] by pouring ranch dressing on her during her 16-hour drum solo. When she talks, her speech balloon has three tails, with only one coming from her mouth. Apparently, her name is Judith, as seen in [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 11|Issue 11]].
|-
|[[Image:FattysBigChance2.png|150px|Consider it Picked!]] ||

=====Fatty=====
Fatty is the sole member of the one-man saxophone band, "Fatty's Big Chance." He played before Kissyboots in the Battle of The Bands. With his [[Wikipedia:Two Tone|two tone]] suit and rousing chant of "pick it up, pick it up," Fatty is a [[Wikipedia:Ska|ska]] machine. He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:Trollswantautograph.PNG|150px|KRA'AGH!]] ||

=====Trolls=====
The trolls enter So and So's dressing room while [[So and So]] is preparing for the Battle of the Bands. In their native tongue, they ask her for her autograph. Apparently So and So can understand them, and is happy to oblige. But before she could sign, she was TWELVE-SIDED DIED!, inexplicably by a 20-sided die. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza. One of the trolls appears again, silhouetted, in an Easter egg in the email [[death metal]].
|-
|[[Image:whatsherfacesshark.PNG|150px|A seaworthy bass]] ||

=====A Shark=====
At the Battle of the Bands, [[What's Her Face]]'s bass guitar suddenly transforms into a shark, causing her to comment "My bass feels seaworthy". The shark then bites off the upper half of her body. "Ahhh! My most of me!" she laments.

Amazingly, the shark can also play a mean bass even without fingers. Cheerleader keeps him on to play backup and the remaining member(s) of Kissyboots finish the performance respectably. Alas, after the song ends, the shark can be heard snacking on Cheerleader.
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 9|Issue 9]]==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
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|[[Image:TGS_LPGirl.PNG|150px|TEN O' CLOCK AND TWO O' CLOCK!]] ||
=====Learner's Permit Girl=====
This girl first appears in Teen Girl Squad Issue 9. She is not a very good driver, and ends up DRiVER'S ED'ED...DEADing Cheerleader. On the plus side, she gives Strong Bad a ride to Babbage's. She also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:SciFiGreg.png|120px|He knew she'd come back to him]] ||
=====Science Fiction Greg=====
Science Fiction Greg is an old boyfriend of What's Her Face. ''See main article: [[Science Fiction Greg and D N'D Greg]].''
|-
|[[Image:SciFiGregPallies.PNG|152px|Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum]] ||

=====Friends of Science Fiction Greg=====
Putative friends of Science Fiction Greg. They listen patiently as he brags about his relationship with What's Her Face and his experience points. The character on the left bears a resemblance to an overweight character often found in Gary Larson's [[Wikipedia:Far Side|Far Side]] cartoons.
|-
|[[Image:DndGreg.PNG|152px|Doesn't like his style bitten]] ||

=====D N'D Greg=====
An apparent [[Wikipedia:Dungeons and Dragons|Dungeons and Dragons]] expert. ''See main article: [[Science Fiction Greg and D N'D Greg]].''
|-
|[[Image:Vultures.PNG|150px|Vulture'd!]] ||

=====Vultures=====
When [[Mr. Pitters]] tries to join the Teen Girl Squad, these fiendish birds tell him that he "ain't no Teen Girl" before eating him at a fancy dinner. According to the second vulture, Mr. Pitters tastes "quite good, quite good." They may be an evolution of the vulture from Issue 2. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:Port-O-John.png|150px|Starring Johnny Rite There as some sort of king.]] ||
=====Port-O-John=====
Port-O-John is a [[Wikipedia:portable toilet|portable outhouse]] that came to life by growing eyes, a nose, a mustache, a mouth, hands and feet. A sign on his side reads ''Johnny Rite There''. It put on a play with So and So once Cheerleader died in Teen Girl Squad Issue 9. It didn't get very good reviews, however, and he is injured by [[Arrow'd Guy]].
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10|Issue 10]]==
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|[[Image:A_mighty_warrior.png|center|110px|Corn-based products are no place for him]] ||
=====A Mighty Warrior=====
A tiny [[Wikipedia:Samurai|samurai]] armed with a [[Wikipedia:Naginata|naginata]] who bursts twice from corn-based products: "corn and corn alone" and corn chips. Both times he does so because they are "no place for a mighty warrior." After emerging from the corn chips, he lathe'd a spinning What's Her Face in two with his naginata. He also appeared in an Easter egg for [[myths & legends]], fighting the corn army.
|-
|[[Image:Coach and olympic man.png|150px|We're not sure what they're talking about, either]] ||

=====Olympic Man and Coach=====
A lonely pair at the "Olympic Race," Olympic Man and Coach prepare for some type of sporting event after being ditched by Cheerleader. Coach apparently brings this about by telling Cheerleader over the phone that "the olympics are soooo dumb!", though Coach vehemently denies this to his well-muscled companion, who seems to have no hands.

Olympic Man reappears in [[#Issue 13|Issue 13]] as [[#Peacey P|Peacey P]]'s bodyguard, with the text on his shirt blurred out. When The Ugly One asks for Peacey P's autograph, he dangles (and ultimately drops) her from a hotel balcony into a bayonet tailgate party.
|-
|[[Image:TGS_Scotsmen.PNG|150px|ACHGH!]] ||

=====Scotsmen=====
This "uppaclass" trio of burly, bearded, kilted Scots were drinking a frothy brew from a keg marked "XXX" when they were interrupted by Cheerleader's flirtation. Predictably, she was rejected and caber-tossed only 23 metres away for her efforts.
|-
|[[Image:Manolio's.png|150px|p4wned!]] ||

=====Manolios Ugly One=====
The Ugly One's father. Owns [[Minor Companies|Manolios Ugly One's Lectro-pawn]], specializing in used and broken electronic goods. ''See main article: [[Manolios Ugly One]]''
|-
|[[Image:Sir Hotbod Handsomeface.PNG|center|110px|"Oh, why, hello, The Ugly One, you're looking so makey outy tonight."]] ||

=====Sir Hotbod Handsomeface=====
One of [[Strong Bad]]'s many [[secret identity|alter egos]]. He looks like an extremely chiseled construction worker. He makes an appearance when [[The Ugly One]] becomes hot, and Strong Bad imagines meeting her. After Sir Hotbod begins [[Making Out|making out]] with The Ugly One, Strong Bad himself begins to do the same to the piece of loose-leaf they were drawn on, much to the disgust of onlookers [[Strong Mad]], [[Strong Sad]], and [[The Cheat]].
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 11|Issue 11]]==

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|[[Image:Death.png|150px|Forebode!]] ||
=====Grim Reaper=====
The [[Grim Reaper]] appears on the horizon as the girls drive off to summer camp. He forbodes and then bites into a hamburger. The girls do not take notice of him.
|-
|[[Image:StoreManager.png|150px|Manager'd!]] ||
=====Shirt Folding Store Manager=====
The Shirt Folding Store Manager is So and So's manager at Shirt Folding Store. She is rude to So and So, calls her "Mark" and tells her to "get to minimum wagin'". The manager is the only character in episode 11 not drawn in black and white. Her hair and face are constructed from a [[:Image:Mary-Kate.jpg|magazine photo]] of [[Wikipedia:Mary-Kate Olsen|Mary-Kate Olsen]]. Her right arm is also drawn much longer than her left and her hands are drawn crudely.
|-
|[[Image:Astronaut.png|150px|Astronaut'd!]] ||

=====Astronaut=====
The astronaut suddenly appears in Shirt Folding Store and punches out the manager, his justification being that she killed his dog. His voice is distorted by the loudspeaker system built into his suit, and he starts each sentence with "Ckhk". He has a cape and can fly.
|-
|[[Image:RacoonGirl.png|150px|Do YOU love her?]] ||

=====Raccoon Girl=====
Raccoon Girl is What's Her Face's bunkmate at the camp. She is weak and emaciated, feels unloved, and needs heavy medication, lest she "go into a coma."
|-
|[[Image:FatMan.png|150px|Not his wife!]] ||

=====Customer=====
A customer at Shirt Folding Store. He needs a present for his wife for their anniversary. He coughs so much that So and So thinks that the present is for his coughiversary. Eventually he coughs up a baseball stadium complete with spectators and announcer just as a double play occurs. He feels it is necessary to point out that this is not his wife.
|-

|[[Image:Leprechaun_SB.PNG|150px|Shoplifting?]] ||

=====Leprechaun Strong Bad=====
A [[Wikipedia:Leprechaun|leprechaun]] version of [[Strong Bad]] appears over [[So and So]]'s shoulder when she thinks about stealing the "tres cutee" shirt. Leprechaun Strong Bad is apparently So and So's bad conscience.
|-
|<center>[[Image:TentacleCamera.png|OBSERVE'd!]]</center> ||

=====Tentacle Camera=====
This floating camera with tentacles is the security system of Shirt Folding Store. It catches So and So shoplifting.
|-
|[[Image:GotCamp.png|150px|Scha-wing!]] ||

=====Camp Counselor Shortshorts=====
Camp Counselor Shortshorts is trying really hard not to be thought of as a square by What's Her Face and The Ugly One by using random "youthful" quotes. He only succeeds in winning over the girls by singing a song with them. He then meets his end at the hands of Maniac in a Speedo.
|-
|[[Image:Bear.png|150px|He stapled it down!]] ||

=====Chumbly Wumbly Bear=====
The Chumbly Wumbly Bear is the subject of the song that the girls sing with the counselor. According to the song, he "came a tumblin' down", but sold neither beans nor eggs - he couldn't, wouldn't and shouldn't. Instead, he "stapled it down".

|-
|[[Image:ManiacInASpeedo.png|150px|Speedo'd!]] ||

=====Maniac in a Speedo=====
Maniac in a Speedo comes in at the end of the "Chumbly Wumbly Bear" song. As seen, he wears a paper bag to hide his face and uses a chainsaw to do his bidding. He cut The Ugly One and What's Her Face in half and did a number on Camp Counselor Shortshorts as well.

|-
|[[Image:CdoggNaptime.png|150px|Jail'd!]] ||

=====C-dogg and Naptime=====
C-dogg and Naptime share a prison cell with So and So. It's not clear which inmate is which. Rubble D is apparently also in that cell or in a nearby one, but we do not see or hear him.
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 12|Issue 12]]==

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|[[Image:patchbeard.png|150px|Beard'd!]] ||

=====Patchbeard=====
Patchbeard is Cheerleader's first romantic interest on Valentimes Day and is the first one to give Cheerleader a card. Cheerleader also refers to him as Peter Puberty. After receiving the card, Cheerleader knocks him out with a [[Wikipedia:Club (weapon)#Blackjack|blackjack]].
|-
|[[Image:Band name boys.PNG|150px|"Band name. Band name."]] ||

=====Band Name Boys=====
These are the two boys from whom [[What's Her Face]] attempts to acquire a Valentine's Day card. They enjoy talking about band names; What's Her Face observes this and tells them she likes music, as well as cloth. One of the boys is surprised that she likes cloth, but the other thinks "she likes cloth" is a good band name. In an [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 12#Easter Eggs|Easter egg]], a CD cover with the name "she likes cloth" is shown, along with the top of the Band Name Boys' heads.
|-
|[[Image:MrsEmbalmo.png|150px|Dea'd!]] ||

=====Mrs. Embalmo=====
Mrs. Embalmo is the one lunchlady who did not give The Ugly One a card for Valentine's Day. This is probably because there's nothing left of her but a creaking skeleton.
|-
| [[Image:Tines.PNG|150px|TINES!]] ||
=====Tines Racer=====
The Tines Racer is a fork-shaped character who drives a "Tines Racing" car, named after the [[Wikipedia:Tine (structural)|points on his head]]. He has a handlebar [[mustache]] and wears a scarf. He drives over So and So when she gets angry at the other girls' mispronunciation of "Valentine's".
|-
| [[Image:Mindy TGS12 Egg.png|150px|"Gag me with a spoon!"]]||

=====Mindy=====
Mindy was the "chief cheerleader" from 1984 to [[1987]]. Many current cheerleaders, including Cheerleader, appear to look up to her to the point of worship, and they worship her at her own [[Teen Girl Squad Locations#Mindy's Shrine|shrine]].

|-
| [[Image:Robot.PNG|150px|"TECH-NO-LOGiCAL RO-MANCE"]]||

=====Strong Bad Robot=====
It is a robot with Strong Bad's face on it who talks in Strong Bad's voice (with vocoder effects). He approves of "TECH-NO-LOGiCAL RO-MANCE" and sings a song about it twice.
|-

| [[Image:Prez.png|150px|"Whattaya mean I'm less than B?"]]||

=====Class Prez=====
Class Prez has a "technological romance" with Cheerleader by text messaging her from a few feet away, but is dismayed when she tells him he is "less than B". His phone model, "CRKR" (short for "Cracker"), is a play on the Motorola cellular phone KRZR. The name itself is also a play on the recent naming of cell phones after foods like the LG Chocolate and the BlackBerry. This could also explain why the phone has a bite taken out of it. He is skewered by the USB Dongle Goblin.
|-
| [[Image:Full_Bars.png|150px|"Texting from a few feet away? FOR SHAME!"]] ||

=====Wireless Wizard=====
The Wireless Wizard dislikes people misusing wireless technology, such as sending text messages from a few feet away or making unidentifiable [[Wikipedia:Emoticon|emoticons]]. He appears to be attracted to What's Her Face.
|-
| | [[Image:usbdgob.png|150px|Here he comes!]] ||
=====The USB Dongle Goblin=====
The USB Dongle Goblin is a creature with a pointed nose and USB plug shaped body that arrives to skewer Cheerleader and Class Prez after Wireless Wizard mentions him. His shape is based on the emoticon Cheerleader used in her text message to Class Prez: >KO)->
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 13|Issue 13]]==

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|[[Image:Momkins.png|150px|"Awww, shush!"]] ||

=====Momkins=====
Momkins, also called Mrs. Tompkinsrobotmom[[erson]] by So and So, is [[Tompkins]]'s mother. She is a [[robot]] dressed like a prospector with a deep masculine southern accent and stubble on her face. She apparently goes out prospecting to find a new ex-husband. Her character is a play on the term "Gold Digger", who would marry for money, then divorce.
|-

|[[Image:Timkins.png|150px|"Are all goo goos wah wahs?"]] ||

=====Timkins=====
Timkins is apparently Tompkins's baby brother. So and So has to babysit him along with Tompkins.

|-

|[[Image:Tompkins_Virtual_Pet.PNG|175px|"Please stop feeding me!"]] ||

=====Tompkins's Virtual Pet=====
Tompkins has a virtual pet which he overfeeds. Sketches of it appeared in the [[Sketchbook#SK-2007-06-21|Sketchbook]].

|-

|[[Image:Buttcrkplum.png|150px|"And this is for a how many gallon toilet, ma'am?"]] ||

=====Buttcrack Plumber=====
The Buttcrack Plumber works for a company called Buttcrack Plumbing. Cheerleader calls him Randy, but it's questionable that the two were having the same conversation. Assuming that Cheerleader meant to call him, he's on Cheerleader's "B-list" of boys.

|-

|[[Image:Peaceyp.png|150px|Ya'll biscuitheads!]] ||

=====Peacey P=====
Peacey P is a rapper that The Ugly One seems to admire. His speech is very muddled, and some of what he says is unintelligible. He has a symbolized representation of his name ("☮y P") on his shirt, and a very large [[Wikipedia:Afro|afro]]. His name bears a striking resemblance to either [[Wikipedia:Eazy E|Eazy E]] or [[Wikipedia:Percee P|Percee P]], and his voice and singing style are very similar to [[Wikipedia:Snoop Dogg|Snoop Dogg]]. His album "Deliberance" was released on Crample-O Stow Records (that sursdai). His favorite phrase is 'y'all biscuitheads'.

[[Homestar Runner]] wears a Peacey P shirt in [[Main Page 24]].

|-

|[[Image:Police Officers.png|150px|They're not Timkins' real father!]] ||

=====Policemen=====
The police officers arrive at Tompkins's house to watch the Pay-per-view show that The Ugly One ordered. So and So overreacts to their presence, but What's Her Face invites them in. One of them seems to be attracted to Momkins.

|}

== Other ==
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|[[Image:Strong bad email D.PNG|150px|jugga jigga wugga]] ||
=====Brainkrieg=====
Seen in [[death metal]], Brainkrieg is a death metal band in [[Strong Bad]]'s imagination that seems to use all of the wrong "d-e" words in their song (deli-style, dentist). They also frequently use the phrase "Jugga jigga wugga". They have a large, poorly drawn audience watching their performance. Cheerleader seems to be a fan—she comes for the wuggas, but stays for the jiggy juggas. They also received last place in The Battle of the Crappy High School Bands.
|-
|[[Image:Cornarmy.png|150px|No match.]] ||

=====The Corn Army=====
The army debuted in an Easter Egg in [[myths & legends]]. It is apparently led by Cephas Cornwall, but is no match for [[#A Mighty Warrior|A Mighty Warrior]].
|}

==Quotes of the Week==
{{qotwstart}}
*{{qotw|'''Olda Boy''': "I'm gonna miss video games."|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 5]]|Mirror:oldaboy2 missvg.mp3}}
|}

{{Teen Girl Squad}}

[[Category: Teen Girl Squad Characters]]

Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters

76.18.71.238 — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 05:34:31 GMT

76.18.71.238: /* Issue 5 */

Some characters make a very brief appearance in [[Teen Girl Squad]], often hurting one of the girls. Usually they are never seen again, but in the [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10|10th Issue special]], many of these characters made cameo appearances at [[The Ugly One]]'s Sweet Someteen Birthday Bash.
[[Image:Sweetsometeen.PNG|500px|thumb|right|A party of minor characters]]

__TOC__
{{clear}}
==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 1|Issue 1]]==
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|[[Image:The_Helicopter.PNG|150px|Bang-bang-bang!]] ||
=====A Helicopter=====
This helicopter attacked some [[The Birds|birds]] with a [[Guns|machine gun]]. Surprisingly, this aircraft was the first object to be seen harming living creatures in the entire series, yet its victims did not include one of the girls. [[Strong Bad]] supplied the rapid fire noise of its deadly projectiles.
|-
| [[Image:Dinosaur.PNG|150px|Bend It Like Beckhamasaurus Rex]] ||

=====The Dinosaur=====
The [[dinosaur]] punted [[What's Her Face]] across the cartoon. Just after this, she was heard to remark, "Dag, yo." She is presumed to have died upon landing. The dinosaur also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza, where it was revealed to have bloody teeth.
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 2|Issue 2]]==
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|-
|[[Image:Cloud_Monster.PNG|150px|Bad weather]] ||
=====Cloud Monster=====
As the girls go to look so good, a cloud in the background grows angry eyes and a mouthful of sharp teeth. It then quickly chomps on some [[The Birds|birds]].
|-
|[[Image:paul_no_I_in_team.png|150px|No "I" in dead either]] ||

=====No "i" in team boy=====
He is a boy who goes out with [[So and So]], which causes her friends to get jealous. When So and So mentions that she's totally crushing, the boy gets hit by a delivery truck (driven by [[Arrow'd Guy]]) marked "'''CHILDREN'''". He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza. He appears again, silhouetted, in an Easter egg in the email [[death metal]].
|-
|[[Image:Vulture.png|left|150px|SWOOP'D!!]]<br clear="left">
[[Image:Bat.png|left|150px|GRASP'D!]]
||

=====The Vulture and the Bat=====
The Vulture swooped [[The Ugly One]] when she got jealous of [[So and So]]'s getting the "No 'i' in team boy" to date her. The Bat grasped [[Cheerleader]] for the same reasons as the vulture.
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 3|Issue 3]]==
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|-
| [[Image:Buzzsaw sun.png|150px|Preeow!]] ||
=====Buzzsaw Sun=====
The sun turned into a buzzsaw, and chopped up some [[The Birds|birds]] in this episode.
|-
|[[Image:Thrift_Store_Girl.PNG|150px|Boy or girl?]] ||
=====Thrift Store Person=====
This person is found at the thrift store that [[What's Her Face]] shopped at, where she stays behind a rack of shirts, holding a sign that reads, "1 or 2 cent each item." In the [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 3]] DVD commentary, Strong Bad says that she is a "homeless woman."
|-
|[[Image:Possum_Attack.PNG|150px|"Poooosssssummmmms...!"]] ||

=====Possums=====
A wave of possums, announced by a menacingly voiced "Poooosssssummmmms...!" attacked [[What's Her Face]] as she walked home from the thrift store. They got her dirty and tore her clothing, but didn't kill her. When she met up with the other girls, one possum was seen still attacking her. The possum attack apparently made [[What's Her Face]]'s blood hurt. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza. 
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 4|Issue 4]]==
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|-
| [[Image:Pierced_Heart.PNG|150px|Cupid strikes back]] ||
=====Brett Bretterson=====
Brett is an imaginary person whom So And So made up in first grade. He is mentioned in Teen Girl Squad Issues 4 and 10. Ignoring her friends' denial of Brett's reality, So And So interacts with "Brett" as if she could actually see and hear him. This causes the other girls to be weirded out. Brett and So And So were going to study together when their plans were ended abruptly by falling in the Fighting Growlbacks [[Bottomless Pits|Bottomless Spirit Pit]].

So And So is in love with Brett, and when she thinks of him hearts appear over her head. One of them grew a face just as it was pierced with an arrow.

In the tenth episode, So And So states that she and Brett Brett[[Names Ending in -erson|erson]] are "Splitsville".

Brett may or may not be a real person, too; he is listed in the [[best thing#Credits listed|credits]] for [[Limozeen: "but they're in space!"]] as the "Worst animator". Strong Bad confirms this in the [[best thing#Commentary Transcript|DVD commentary]] for [[best thing]].
|-
| [[Image:quarterback.png|150px|Quarterman]] ||

=====Quarterback=====
The quarterback for the Fighting Growlbacks is a target of the affections of [[Cheerleader]]. He dismisses her with the quip "How's about you get some brains?" This causes Cheerleader to get CEREBELLUM'D by [[Arrow'd Guy]]'s Giant Brain Mech (see below). He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:Cerebellumed_Cheerleader.PNG|150px|Cerebellum'd!]] ||

=====Giant Brain Mech=====
The Giant Brain Mech is a giant brain with lips and an eye patch. It is apparently mechanical, because [[Arrow'd Guy]] can be seen controlling the brain under a glass dome. The brain CEREBELLUM'D! [[Cheerleader]] when the Quarterback suggested that she should go get some brains.
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 5|Issue 5]]==
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|[[Image:perchingbird.png|150px|PERCH!]] ||
=====Fat Bird=====
The fat bird is first seen in Issue 5, perched on the "meanwhile, ON VACATION" sign in the transition scene. Later in the cartoon, when The Ugly One gets nervous and sticks her head in the sand, the fat bird flies down and perches on her side. The bird doesn't seem to do anything after that. It just sits there with its tongue hanging out for the rest of the cartoon.
|-
| [[Image:oldaboys.png|150px|Lying around...]] ||
=====Olda Boys=====
The olda boys are college boys that were at the vacation beach with Cheerleader, So and So, and The Ugly One. One misses video games, but the other misses his mom even more. They combine their sayings into a techno-like jam in an easter-egg. The spiky-haired one earned a [[Quote of the Week#QW-2004-03-08|Quote of the Week]]. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:Famous or Cool Guys.PNG|150px|Cool or famous]] ||

=====[[Wikipedia:Henry Rollins|Henry Rollins]], [[Wikipedia:Abraham Lincoln|Abraham Lincoln]], and [[Wikipedia:George Washington|George Washington]]=====
These are the "cool or famous" people who look at the nervous The Ugly One and then parasail with So and So. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza. There, Henry Rollins was revealed to be an odd red color, a likely reference to [http://21361.com/site_2004/watch_listen.html the music video for "Liar"] (from the album ''Weight''--Henry Rollins Band, Imago Records 1994). Also, Abraham Lincoln seems to [[Lack of visible arms|lack visible arms]].

==[[Decemberween Teen Girl Squad|Issue 6]]==
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|[[Image:giftexchangelion.png|150px|Now with more 3-legged action!]] ||
=====Gift Exchange Lion=====
This [[lion]], who seems to be missing a leg, appears in Decemberween Teen Girl Squad. Cheerleader, So and So, and The Ugly One all dive into its mouth in pursuit of [[Decemberween]] presents, but What's Her Face declines on the grounds that she is vegan. For some reason the [[Teen Girl Squad Locations#Inside the Lion|inside of the lion]] looks like the inside of a whale. He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:smileyfaceman.png|150px|A nose from the happy judge]] ||

=====Smiley Face Man=====
This happy fellow is a judge in the Decemberween Teen Girl Squad. He and the other two judges (who are both [[Arrow'd Guy]]) TWO'D The Ugly One for her cannonball into the Gift Exchange Lion's mouth. He rates Cheerleader's dive into the lion's mouth a "nose" along with the other judges. Noticeable is the fact that he can move his arms along his skinny body. His "shoulder" is not visible until he lifts up the sign. Little else is known about this person, or what the value of a "nose" is in competitive Lion's mouth jumping. He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:hawiianguy.png|150px|Singing about babies]] ||

=====Hawaiian Guy=====
This musician wears a Hawaiian shirt and plays a ukulele. He sang "Wave o' Babies" as a wave of babies appeared. He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
| [[Image:Wave of Babies.PNG|150px|A virtual tsunami of infants.]] ||

=====Wave o' Babies=====
These babies are in a giant wave that crashed into What's Her Face. They are seen caving onto What's Her Face, but the actual crash is not shown. It is possible that the wave just swept past without stopping. This is further supported by the fact that after the crash, only two babies are visible clinging onto What's Her Face, while all the others are gone. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:gazelle_carcass_half-digested.PNG|150px|Bonus: Half-Digested!]] ||
=====Gazelle Carcass=====
This half-digested animal is presented by [[The Ugly One]] at the very end of Decemberween Teen Girl Squad to [[Cheerleader]] to her dismay. All of the other girls seem to be pleased at the sight of the dead animal, despite the negative aspects of decomposing carcasses.
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 7|Issue 7]]==
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|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Image !! Description
|-
|[[Image:squished_fatman.PNG|150px|Squished.]] ||
=====Fat Man=====
He's a fat man who wears a singlet similar to Strong Mad's. He fell down a slide and squished Teeny Tiny Cheerleader while she was throwing a tantrum. He bears a resemblance to pro wrestler [[Wikipedia:King Kong Bundy|King Kong Bundy]] and performs the [[Wikipedia:King Kong Bundy#Finishing and signature moves|Bundy Splash]], one of his signature moves.
|-
| [[Image:billbellamy.png|150px|The bell tolls for thee]] ||

=====Bill Bellamy=====
This is the bell seen in Issue 7 in the Teeny Tiny Girl Squad's [[Teen Girl Squad Locations#Diaper School|preschool]]. His role is similar to that of the Intercom, but specific relationship details are unknown. He bears the same name as actor and comedian [[IMDB:nm0004740|Bill Bellamy]].
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 8|Issue 8]]==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Image !! Description
|-
|[[Image:TGS_Intercom.png|120px|Who's that hiding in the wheel?]] ||
=====Intercom=====
The intercom is a feature of the Teen Girl Squad's school. As it is hanging up high in the girls' classroom, it is responsible for announcing things like the school lunch and commands. Later in the cartoon, the Intercom is seen mounted on a robot body, hosting the Battle of the Bands. It introduced the bands "Fatty's Big Chance" and the Teen Girl Squad "[[Kissyboots]]." It also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party on its stand, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza, nursing a martini.
|-
|[[Image:floortommed.png|150px|Floor Tom, the evil drum]] ||

=====Floor Tom=====
When [[The Ugly One]] does her 16-hour drum solo, she was rudely interrupted by an evil '''[[Wikipedia:Floor tom|floor tom]]''' when it FLOOR TOMMED her by biting her top half off. This was just one of three events that stopped her drum solo, as she was also STEP-MOMMED and [[Pom Pom|POM-POMMED]].
|-
|[[Image:stepmom.jpg|150px|"YOU LITTLE BRATS BEST SHUT YER YAPS!!!"]] ||

=====Mrs. So-and-so-erson=====
Mrs. So-and-so-[[Names ending in -erson|erson]] is [[So and So]]'s "step-mom". "She" resembles [[Arrow'd Guy]] in lipstick and a jogging suit; it's debatable whether she is in fact the same person. As [[Cheerleader]] states, she has questionable taste, which is agreed upon by [[What's Her Face]] after observing the many jogging suits in her [[Mrs. So-and-so-erson's Walk-in Closet|walk-in closet]]. She "STEP-MOMMED" [[The Ugly One]] by pouring ranch dressing on her during her 16-hour drum solo. When she talks, her speech balloon has three tails, with only one coming from her mouth. Apparently, her name is Judith, as seen in [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 11|Issue 11]].
|-
|[[Image:FattysBigChance2.png|150px|Consider it Picked!]] ||

=====Fatty=====
Fatty is the sole member of the one-man saxophone band, "Fatty's Big Chance." He played before Kissyboots in the Battle of The Bands. With his [[Wikipedia:Two Tone|two tone]] suit and rousing chant of "pick it up, pick it up," Fatty is a [[Wikipedia:Ska|ska]] machine. He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:Trollswantautograph.PNG|150px|KRA'AGH!]] ||

=====Trolls=====
The trolls enter So and So's dressing room while [[So and So]] is preparing for the Battle of the Bands. In their native tongue, they ask her for her autograph. Apparently So and So can understand them, and is happy to oblige. But before she could sign, she was TWELVE-SIDED DIED!, inexplicably by a 20-sided die. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza. One of the trolls appears again, silhouetted, in an Easter egg in the email [[death metal]].
|-
|[[Image:whatsherfacesshark.PNG|150px|A seaworthy bass]] ||

=====A Shark=====
At the Battle of the Bands, [[What's Her Face]]'s bass guitar suddenly transforms into a shark, causing her to comment "My bass feels seaworthy". The shark then bites off the upper half of her body. "Ahhh! My most of me!" she laments.

Amazingly, the shark can also play a mean bass even without fingers. Cheerleader keeps him on to play backup and the remaining member(s) of Kissyboots finish the performance respectably. Alas, after the song ends, the shark can be heard snacking on Cheerleader.
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 9|Issue 9]]==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Image !! Description
|-
|[[Image:TGS_LPGirl.PNG|150px|TEN O' CLOCK AND TWO O' CLOCK!]] ||
=====Learner's Permit Girl=====
This girl first appears in Teen Girl Squad Issue 9. She is not a very good driver, and ends up DRiVER'S ED'ED...DEADing Cheerleader. On the plus side, she gives Strong Bad a ride to Babbage's. She also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:SciFiGreg.png|120px|He knew she'd come back to him]] ||
=====Science Fiction Greg=====
Science Fiction Greg is an old boyfriend of What's Her Face. ''See main article: [[Science Fiction Greg and D N'D Greg]].''
|-
|[[Image:SciFiGregPallies.PNG|152px|Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum]] ||

=====Friends of Science Fiction Greg=====
Putative friends of Science Fiction Greg. They listen patiently as he brags about his relationship with What's Her Face and his experience points. The character on the left bears a resemblance to an overweight character often found in Gary Larson's [[Wikipedia:Far Side|Far Side]] cartoons.
|-
|[[Image:DndGreg.PNG|152px|Doesn't like his style bitten]] ||

=====D N'D Greg=====
An apparent [[Wikipedia:Dungeons and Dragons|Dungeons and Dragons]] expert. ''See main article: [[Science Fiction Greg and D N'D Greg]].''
|-
|[[Image:Vultures.PNG|150px|Vulture'd!]] ||

=====Vultures=====
When [[Mr. Pitters]] tries to join the Teen Girl Squad, these fiendish birds tell him that he "ain't no Teen Girl" before eating him at a fancy dinner. According to the second vulture, Mr. Pitters tastes "quite good, quite good." They may be an evolution of the vulture from Issue 2. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:Port-O-John.png|150px|Starring Johnny Rite There as some sort of king.]] ||
=====Port-O-John=====
Port-O-John is a [[Wikipedia:portable toilet|portable outhouse]] that came to life by growing eyes, a nose, a mustache, a mouth, hands and feet. A sign on his side reads ''Johnny Rite There''. It put on a play with So and So once Cheerleader died in Teen Girl Squad Issue 9. It didn't get very good reviews, however, and he is injured by [[Arrow'd Guy]].
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10|Issue 10]]==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
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! Image !! Description
|-
|[[Image:A_mighty_warrior.png|center|110px|Corn-based products are no place for him]] ||
=====A Mighty Warrior=====
A tiny [[Wikipedia:Samurai|samurai]] armed with a [[Wikipedia:Naginata|naginata]] who bursts twice from corn-based products: "corn and corn alone" and corn chips. Both times he does so because they are "no place for a mighty warrior." After emerging from the corn chips, he lathe'd a spinning What's Her Face in two with his naginata. He also appeared in an Easter egg for [[myths & legends]], fighting the corn army.
|-
|[[Image:Coach and olympic man.png|150px|We're not sure what they're talking about, either]] ||

=====Olympic Man and Coach=====
A lonely pair at the "Olympic Race," Olympic Man and Coach prepare for some type of sporting event after being ditched by Cheerleader. Coach apparently brings this about by telling Cheerleader over the phone that "the olympics are soooo dumb!", though Coach vehemently denies this to his well-muscled companion, who seems to have no hands.

Olympic Man reappears in [[#Issue 13|Issue 13]] as [[#Peacey P|Peacey P]]'s bodyguard, with the text on his shirt blurred out. When The Ugly One asks for Peacey P's autograph, he dangles (and ultimately drops) her from a hotel balcony into a bayonet tailgate party.
|-
|[[Image:TGS_Scotsmen.PNG|150px|ACHGH!]] ||

=====Scotsmen=====
This "uppaclass" trio of burly, bearded, kilted Scots were drinking a frothy brew from a keg marked "XXX" when they were interrupted by Cheerleader's flirtation. Predictably, she was rejected and caber-tossed only 23 metres away for her efforts.
|-
|[[Image:Manolio's.png|150px|p4wned!]] ||

=====Manolios Ugly One=====
The Ugly One's father. Owns [[Minor Companies|Manolios Ugly One's Lectro-pawn]], specializing in used and broken electronic goods. ''See main article: [[Manolios Ugly One]]''
|-
|[[Image:Sir Hotbod Handsomeface.PNG|center|110px|"Oh, why, hello, The Ugly One, you're looking so makey outy tonight."]] ||

=====Sir Hotbod Handsomeface=====
One of [[Strong Bad]]'s many [[secret identity|alter egos]]. He looks like an extremely chiseled construction worker. He makes an appearance when [[The Ugly One]] becomes hot, and Strong Bad imagines meeting her. After Sir Hotbod begins [[Making Out|making out]] with The Ugly One, Strong Bad himself begins to do the same to the piece of loose-leaf they were drawn on, much to the disgust of onlookers [[Strong Mad]], [[Strong Sad]], and [[The Cheat]].
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 11|Issue 11]]==

{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
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|-
|[[Image:Death.png|150px|Forebode!]] ||
=====Grim Reaper=====
The [[Grim Reaper]] appears on the horizon as the girls drive off to summer camp. He forbodes and then bites into a hamburger. The girls do not take notice of him.
|-
|[[Image:StoreManager.png|150px|Manager'd!]] ||
=====Shirt Folding Store Manager=====
The Shirt Folding Store Manager is So and So's manager at Shirt Folding Store. She is rude to So and So, calls her "Mark" and tells her to "get to minimum wagin'". The manager is the only character in episode 11 not drawn in black and white. Her hair and face are constructed from a [[:Image:Mary-Kate.jpg|magazine photo]] of [[Wikipedia:Mary-Kate Olsen|Mary-Kate Olsen]]. Her right arm is also drawn much longer than her left and her hands are drawn crudely.
|-
|[[Image:Astronaut.png|150px|Astronaut'd!]] ||

=====Astronaut=====
The astronaut suddenly appears in Shirt Folding Store and punches out the manager, his justification being that she killed his dog. His voice is distorted by the loudspeaker system built into his suit, and he starts each sentence with "Ckhk". He has a cape and can fly.
|-
|[[Image:RacoonGirl.png|150px|Do YOU love her?]] ||

=====Raccoon Girl=====
Raccoon Girl is What's Her Face's bunkmate at the camp. She is weak and emaciated, feels unloved, and needs heavy medication, lest she "go into a coma."
|-
|[[Image:FatMan.png|150px|Not his wife!]] ||

=====Customer=====
A customer at Shirt Folding Store. He needs a present for his wife for their anniversary. He coughs so much that So and So thinks that the present is for his coughiversary. Eventually he coughs up a baseball stadium complete with spectators and announcer just as a double play occurs. He feels it is necessary to point out that this is not his wife.
|-

|[[Image:Leprechaun_SB.PNG|150px|Shoplifting?]] ||

=====Leprechaun Strong Bad=====
A [[Wikipedia:Leprechaun|leprechaun]] version of [[Strong Bad]] appears over [[So and So]]'s shoulder when she thinks about stealing the "tres cutee" shirt. Leprechaun Strong Bad is apparently So and So's bad conscience.
|-
|<center>[[Image:TentacleCamera.png|OBSERVE'd!]]</center> ||

=====Tentacle Camera=====
This floating camera with tentacles is the security system of Shirt Folding Store. It catches So and So shoplifting.
|-
|[[Image:GotCamp.png|150px|Scha-wing!]] ||

=====Camp Counselor Shortshorts=====
Camp Counselor Shortshorts is trying really hard not to be thought of as a square by What's Her Face and The Ugly One by using random "youthful" quotes. He only succeeds in winning over the girls by singing a song with them. He then meets his end at the hands of Maniac in a Speedo.
|-
|[[Image:Bear.png|150px|He stapled it down!]] ||

=====Chumbly Wumbly Bear=====
The Chumbly Wumbly Bear is the subject of the song that the girls sing with the counselor. According to the song, he "came a tumblin' down", but sold neither beans nor eggs - he couldn't, wouldn't and shouldn't. Instead, he "stapled it down".

|-
|[[Image:ManiacInASpeedo.png|150px|Speedo'd!]] ||

=====Maniac in a Speedo=====
Maniac in a Speedo comes in at the end of the "Chumbly Wumbly Bear" song. As seen, he wears a paper bag to hide his face and uses a chainsaw to do his bidding. He cut The Ugly One and What's Her Face in half and did a number on Camp Counselor Shortshorts as well.

|-
|[[Image:CdoggNaptime.png|150px|Jail'd!]] ||

=====C-dogg and Naptime=====
C-dogg and Naptime share a prison cell with So and So. It's not clear which inmate is which. Rubble D is apparently also in that cell or in a nearby one, but we do not see or hear him.
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 12|Issue 12]]==

{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
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|[[Image:patchbeard.png|150px|Beard'd!]] ||

=====Patchbeard=====
Patchbeard is Cheerleader's first romantic interest on Valentimes Day and is the first one to give Cheerleader a card. Cheerleader also refers to him as Peter Puberty. After receiving the card, Cheerleader knocks him out with a [[Wikipedia:Club (weapon)#Blackjack|blackjack]].
|-
|[[Image:Band name boys.PNG|150px|"Band name. Band name."]] ||

=====Band Name Boys=====
These are the two boys from whom [[What's Her Face]] attempts to acquire a Valentine's Day card. They enjoy talking about band names; What's Her Face observes this and tells them she likes music, as well as cloth. One of the boys is surprised that she likes cloth, but the other thinks "she likes cloth" is a good band name. In an [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 12#Easter Eggs|Easter egg]], a CD cover with the name "she likes cloth" is shown, along with the top of the Band Name Boys' heads.
|-
|[[Image:MrsEmbalmo.png|150px|Dea'd!]] ||

=====Mrs. Embalmo=====
Mrs. Embalmo is the one lunchlady who did not give The Ugly One a card for Valentine's Day. This is probably because there's nothing left of her but a creaking skeleton.
|-
| [[Image:Tines.PNG|150px|TINES!]] ||
=====Tines Racer=====
The Tines Racer is a fork-shaped character who drives a "Tines Racing" car, named after the [[Wikipedia:Tine (structural)|points on his head]]. He has a handlebar [[mustache]] and wears a scarf. He drives over So and So when she gets angry at the other girls' mispronunciation of "Valentine's".
|-
| [[Image:Mindy TGS12 Egg.png|150px|"Gag me with a spoon!"]]||

=====Mindy=====
Mindy was the "chief cheerleader" from 1984 to [[1987]]. Many current cheerleaders, including Cheerleader, appear to look up to her to the point of worship, and they worship her at her own [[Teen Girl Squad Locations#Mindy's Shrine|shrine]].

|-
| [[Image:Robot.PNG|150px|"TECH-NO-LOGiCAL RO-MANCE"]]||

=====Strong Bad Robot=====
It is a robot with Strong Bad's face on it who talks in Strong Bad's voice (with vocoder effects). He approves of "TECH-NO-LOGiCAL RO-MANCE" and sings a song about it twice.
|-

| [[Image:Prez.png|150px|"Whattaya mean I'm less than B?"]]||

=====Class Prez=====
Class Prez has a "technological romance" with Cheerleader by text messaging her from a few feet away, but is dismayed when she tells him he is "less than B". His phone model, "CRKR" (short for "Cracker"), is a play on the Motorola cellular phone KRZR. The name itself is also a play on the recent naming of cell phones after foods like the LG Chocolate and the BlackBerry. This could also explain why the phone has a bite taken out of it. He is skewered by the USB Dongle Goblin.
|-
| [[Image:Full_Bars.png|150px|"Texting from a few feet away? FOR SHAME!"]] ||

=====Wireless Wizard=====
The Wireless Wizard dislikes people misusing wireless technology, such as sending text messages from a few feet away or making unidentifiable [[Wikipedia:Emoticon|emoticons]]. He appears to be attracted to What's Her Face.
|-
| | [[Image:usbdgob.png|150px|Here he comes!]] ||
=====The USB Dongle Goblin=====
The USB Dongle Goblin is a creature with a pointed nose and USB plug shaped body that arrives to skewer Cheerleader and Class Prez after Wireless Wizard mentions him. His shape is based on the emoticon Cheerleader used in her text message to Class Prez: >KO)->
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 13|Issue 13]]==

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|-

|[[Image:Momkins.png|150px|"Awww, shush!"]] ||

=====Momkins=====
Momkins, also called Mrs. Tompkinsrobotmom[[erson]] by So and So, is [[Tompkins]]'s mother. She is a [[robot]] dressed like a prospector with a deep masculine southern accent and stubble on her face. She apparently goes out prospecting to find a new ex-husband. Her character is a play on the term "Gold Digger", who would marry for money, then divorce.
|-

|[[Image:Timkins.png|150px|"Are all goo goos wah wahs?"]] ||

=====Timkins=====
Timkins is apparently Tompkins's baby brother. So and So has to babysit him along with Tompkins.

|-

|[[Image:Tompkins_Virtual_Pet.PNG|175px|"Please stop feeding me!"]] ||

=====Tompkins's Virtual Pet=====
Tompkins has a virtual pet which he overfeeds. Sketches of it appeared in the [[Sketchbook#SK-2007-06-21|Sketchbook]].

|-

|[[Image:Buttcrkplum.png|150px|"And this is for a how many gallon toilet, ma'am?"]] ||

=====Buttcrack Plumber=====
The Buttcrack Plumber works for a company called Buttcrack Plumbing. Cheerleader calls him Randy, but it's questionable that the two were having the same conversation. Assuming that Cheerleader meant to call him, he's on Cheerleader's "B-list" of boys.

|-

|[[Image:Peaceyp.png|150px|Ya'll biscuitheads!]] ||

=====Peacey P=====
Peacey P is a rapper that The Ugly One seems to admire. His speech is very muddled, and some of what he says is unintelligible. He has a symbolized representation of his name ("☮y P") on his shirt, and a very large [[Wikipedia:Afro|afro]]. His name bears a striking resemblance to either [[Wikipedia:Eazy E|Eazy E]] or [[Wikipedia:Percee P|Percee P]], and his voice and singing style are very similar to [[Wikipedia:Snoop Dogg|Snoop Dogg]]. His album "Deliberance" was released on Crample-O Stow Records (that sursdai). His favorite phrase is 'y'all biscuitheads'.

[[Homestar Runner]] wears a Peacey P shirt in [[Main Page 24]].

|-

|[[Image:Police Officers.png|150px|They're not Timkins' real father!]] ||

=====Policemen=====
The police officers arrive at Tompkins's house to watch the Pay-per-view show that The Ugly One ordered. So and So overreacts to their presence, but What's Her Face invites them in. One of them seems to be attracted to Momkins.

|}

== Other ==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
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! Image !! Description
|-
|[[Image:Strong bad email D.PNG|150px|jugga jigga wugga]] ||
=====Brainkrieg=====
Seen in [[death metal]], Brainkrieg is a death metal band in [[Strong Bad]]'s imagination that seems to use all of the wrong "d-e" words in their song (deli-style, dentist). They also frequently use the phrase "Jugga jigga wugga". They have a large, poorly drawn audience watching their performance. Cheerleader seems to be a fan—she comes for the wuggas, but stays for the jiggy juggas. They also received last place in The Battle of the Crappy High School Bands.
|-
|[[Image:Cornarmy.png|150px|No match.]] ||

=====The Corn Army=====
The army debuted in an Easter Egg in [[myths & legends]]. It is apparently led by Cephas Cornwall, but is no match for [[#A Mighty Warrior|A Mighty Warrior]].
|}

==Quotes of the Week==
{{qotwstart}}
*{{qotw|'''Olda Boy''': "I'm gonna miss video games."|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 5]]|Mirror:oldaboy2 missvg.mp3}}
|}

{{Teen Girl Squad}}

[[Category: Teen Girl Squad Characters]]

Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters

76.18.71.238 — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 05:32:45 GMT

76.18.71.238: /* Issue 5 */

Some characters make a very brief appearance in [[Teen Girl Squad]], often hurting one of the girls. Usually they are never seen again, but in the [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10|10th Issue special]], many of these characters made cameo appearances at [[The Ugly One]]'s Sweet Someteen Birthday Bash.
[[Image:Sweetsometeen.PNG|500px|thumb|right|A party of minor characters]]

__TOC__
{{clear}}
==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 1|Issue 1]]==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Image !! Description
|-
|[[Image:The_Helicopter.PNG|150px|Bang-bang-bang!]] ||
=====A Helicopter=====
This helicopter attacked some [[The Birds|birds]] with a [[Guns|machine gun]]. Surprisingly, this aircraft was the first object to be seen harming living creatures in the entire series, yet its victims did not include one of the girls. [[Strong Bad]] supplied the rapid fire noise of its deadly projectiles.
|-
| [[Image:Dinosaur.PNG|150px|Bend It Like Beckhamasaurus Rex]] ||

=====The Dinosaur=====
The [[dinosaur]] punted [[What's Her Face]] across the cartoon. Just after this, she was heard to remark, "Dag, yo." She is presumed to have died upon landing. The dinosaur also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza, where it was revealed to have bloody teeth.
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 2|Issue 2]]==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
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! Image !! Description
|-
|[[Image:Cloud_Monster.PNG|150px|Bad weather]] ||
=====Cloud Monster=====
As the girls go to look so good, a cloud in the background grows angry eyes and a mouthful of sharp teeth. It then quickly chomps on some [[The Birds|birds]].
|-
|[[Image:paul_no_I_in_team.png|150px|No "I" in dead either]] ||

=====No "i" in team boy=====
He is a boy who goes out with [[So and So]], which causes her friends to get jealous. When So and So mentions that she's totally crushing, the boy gets hit by a delivery truck (driven by [[Arrow'd Guy]]) marked "'''CHILDREN'''". He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza. He appears again, silhouetted, in an Easter egg in the email [[death metal]].
|-
|[[Image:Vulture.png|left|150px|SWOOP'D!!]]<br clear="left">
[[Image:Bat.png|left|150px|GRASP'D!]]
||

=====The Vulture and the Bat=====
The Vulture swooped [[The Ugly One]] when she got jealous of [[So and So]]'s getting the "No 'i' in team boy" to date her. The Bat grasped [[Cheerleader]] for the same reasons as the vulture.
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 3|Issue 3]]==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
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! Image !! Description
|-
| [[Image:Buzzsaw sun.png|150px|Preeow!]] ||
=====Buzzsaw Sun=====
The sun turned into a buzzsaw, and chopped up some [[The Birds|birds]] in this episode.
|-
|[[Image:Thrift_Store_Girl.PNG|150px|Boy or girl?]] ||
=====Thrift Store Person=====
This person is found at the thrift store that [[What's Her Face]] shopped at, where she stays behind a rack of shirts, holding a sign that reads, "1 or 2 cent each item." In the [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 3]] DVD commentary, Strong Bad says that she is a "homeless woman."
|-
|[[Image:Possum_Attack.PNG|150px|"Poooosssssummmmms...!"]] ||

=====Possums=====
A wave of possums, announced by a menacingly voiced "Poooosssssummmmms...!" attacked [[What's Her Face]] as she walked home from the thrift store. They got her dirty and tore her clothing, but didn't kill her. When she met up with the other girls, one possum was seen still attacking her. The possum attack apparently made [[What's Her Face]]'s blood hurt. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza. 
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 4|Issue 4]]==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
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! Image !! Description
|-
| [[Image:Pierced_Heart.PNG|150px|Cupid strikes back]] ||
=====Brett Bretterson=====
Brett is an imaginary person whom So And So made up in first grade. He is mentioned in Teen Girl Squad Issues 4 and 10. Ignoring her friends' denial of Brett's reality, So And So interacts with "Brett" as if she could actually see and hear him. This causes the other girls to be weirded out. Brett and So And So were going to study together when their plans were ended abruptly by falling in the Fighting Growlbacks [[Bottomless Pits|Bottomless Spirit Pit]].

So And So is in love with Brett, and when she thinks of him hearts appear over her head. One of them grew a face just as it was pierced with an arrow.

In the tenth episode, So And So states that she and Brett Brett[[Names Ending in -erson|erson]] are "Splitsville".

Brett may or may not be a real person, too; he is listed in the [[best thing#Credits listed|credits]] for [[Limozeen: "but they're in space!"]] as the "Worst animator". Strong Bad confirms this in the [[best thing#Commentary Transcript|DVD commentary]] for [[best thing]].
|-
| [[Image:quarterback.png|150px|Quarterman]] ||

=====Quarterback=====
The quarterback for the Fighting Growlbacks is a target of the affections of [[Cheerleader]]. He dismisses her with the quip "How's about you get some brains?" This causes Cheerleader to get CEREBELLUM'D by [[Arrow'd Guy]]'s Giant Brain Mech (see below). He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:Cerebellumed_Cheerleader.PNG|150px|Cerebellum'd!]] ||

=====Giant Brain Mech=====
The Giant Brain Mech is a giant brain with lips and an eye patch. It is apparently mechanical, because [[Arrow'd Guy]] can be seen controlling the brain under a glass dome. The brain CEREBELLUM'D! [[Cheerleader]] when the Quarterback suggested that she should go get some brains.
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 5|Issue 5]]==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
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! Image !! Description
|-
|[[Image:perchingbird.png|150px|PERCH!]] ||
=====Fat Bird=====
The fat bird is first seen in Issue 5, perched on the "meanwhile, ON VACATION" sign in the transition scene. Later in the cartoon, when The Ugly One gets nervous and sticks her head in the sand, the fat bird flies down and perches on her side. The bird doesn't seem to do anything after that. It just sits there with its tongue hanging out for the rest of the cartoon.
|-
| [[Image:oldaboys.png|150px|Lying around...]] ||
=====Olda Boys=====
The olda boys are college boys that were at the vacation beach with Cheerleader, So and So, and The Ugly One. One misses video games, but the other misses his mom even more. They combine their sayings into a techno-like jam in an easter-egg. The spiky-haired one earned a [[Quote of the Week#QW-2004-03-08|Quote of the Week]]. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:Famous or Cool Guys.PNG|150px|Cool or famous]] ||

=====[[Wikipedia:Henry Rollins|Henry Rollins]], [[Wikipedia:Abraham Lincoln|Abraham Lincoln]], and [[Wikipedia:George Washington|George Washington]]=====
These are the "cool or famous" people who look at the nervous The Ugly One and then parasail with So and So. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza. There, Henry Rollins was revealed to be an odd red color, a likely reference to [http://21361.com/site_2004/watch_listen.html the music video for "Liar"] (from the album ''Weight''--Henry Rollins Band, Imago Records 1994). Also, Abraham Lincoln seems to [[Lack of visible arms|lack visible arms]].
|-

==[[Decemberween Teen Girl Squad|Issue 6]]==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Image !! Description
|-
|[[Image:giftexchangelion.png|150px|Now with more 3-legged action!]] ||
=====Gift Exchange Lion=====
This [[lion]], who seems to be missing a leg, appears in Decemberween Teen Girl Squad. Cheerleader, So and So, and The Ugly One all dive into its mouth in pursuit of [[Decemberween]] presents, but What's Her Face declines on the grounds that she is vegan. For some reason the [[Teen Girl Squad Locations#Inside the Lion|inside of the lion]] looks like the inside of a whale. He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:smileyfaceman.png|150px|A nose from the happy judge]] ||

=====Smiley Face Man=====
This happy fellow is a judge in the Decemberween Teen Girl Squad. He and the other two judges (who are both [[Arrow'd Guy]]) TWO'D The Ugly One for her cannonball into the Gift Exchange Lion's mouth. He rates Cheerleader's dive into the lion's mouth a "nose" along with the other judges. Noticeable is the fact that he can move his arms along his skinny body. His "shoulder" is not visible until he lifts up the sign. Little else is known about this person, or what the value of a "nose" is in competitive Lion's mouth jumping. He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:hawiianguy.png|150px|Singing about babies]] ||

=====Hawaiian Guy=====
This musician wears a Hawaiian shirt and plays a ukulele. He sang "Wave o' Babies" as a wave of babies appeared. He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
| [[Image:Wave of Babies.PNG|150px|A virtual tsunami of infants.]] ||

=====Wave o' Babies=====
These babies are in a giant wave that crashed into What's Her Face. They are seen caving onto What's Her Face, but the actual crash is not shown. It is possible that the wave just swept past without stopping. This is further supported by the fact that after the crash, only two babies are visible clinging onto What's Her Face, while all the others are gone. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:gazelle_carcass_half-digested.PNG|150px|Bonus: Half-Digested!]] ||
=====Gazelle Carcass=====
This half-digested animal is presented by [[The Ugly One]] at the very end of Decemberween Teen Girl Squad to [[Cheerleader]] to her dismay. All of the other girls seem to be pleased at the sight of the dead animal, despite the negative aspects of decomposing carcasses.
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 7|Issue 7]]==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Image !! Description
|-
|[[Image:squished_fatman.PNG|150px|Squished.]] ||
=====Fat Man=====
He's a fat man who wears a singlet similar to Strong Mad's. He fell down a slide and squished Teeny Tiny Cheerleader while she was throwing a tantrum. He bears a resemblance to pro wrestler [[Wikipedia:King Kong Bundy|King Kong Bundy]] and performs the [[Wikipedia:King Kong Bundy#Finishing and signature moves|Bundy Splash]], one of his signature moves.
|-
| [[Image:billbellamy.png|150px|The bell tolls for thee]] ||

=====Bill Bellamy=====
This is the bell seen in Issue 7 in the Teeny Tiny Girl Squad's [[Teen Girl Squad Locations#Diaper School|preschool]]. His role is similar to that of the Intercom, but specific relationship details are unknown. He bears the same name as actor and comedian [[IMDB:nm0004740|Bill Bellamy]].
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 8|Issue 8]]==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Image !! Description
|-
|[[Image:TGS_Intercom.png|120px|Who's that hiding in the wheel?]] ||
=====Intercom=====
The intercom is a feature of the Teen Girl Squad's school. As it is hanging up high in the girls' classroom, it is responsible for announcing things like the school lunch and commands. Later in the cartoon, the Intercom is seen mounted on a robot body, hosting the Battle of the Bands. It introduced the bands "Fatty's Big Chance" and the Teen Girl Squad "[[Kissyboots]]." It also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party on its stand, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza, nursing a martini.
|-
|[[Image:floortommed.png|150px|Floor Tom, the evil drum]] ||

=====Floor Tom=====
When [[The Ugly One]] does her 16-hour drum solo, she was rudely interrupted by an evil '''[[Wikipedia:Floor tom|floor tom]]''' when it FLOOR TOMMED her by biting her top half off. This was just one of three events that stopped her drum solo, as she was also STEP-MOMMED and [[Pom Pom|POM-POMMED]].
|-
|[[Image:stepmom.jpg|150px|"YOU LITTLE BRATS BEST SHUT YER YAPS!!!"]] ||

=====Mrs. So-and-so-erson=====
Mrs. So-and-so-[[Names ending in -erson|erson]] is [[So and So]]'s "step-mom". "She" resembles [[Arrow'd Guy]] in lipstick and a jogging suit; it's debatable whether she is in fact the same person. As [[Cheerleader]] states, she has questionable taste, which is agreed upon by [[What's Her Face]] after observing the many jogging suits in her [[Mrs. So-and-so-erson's Walk-in Closet|walk-in closet]]. She "STEP-MOMMED" [[The Ugly One]] by pouring ranch dressing on her during her 16-hour drum solo. When she talks, her speech balloon has three tails, with only one coming from her mouth. Apparently, her name is Judith, as seen in [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 11|Issue 11]].
|-
|[[Image:FattysBigChance2.png|150px|Consider it Picked!]] ||

=====Fatty=====
Fatty is the sole member of the one-man saxophone band, "Fatty's Big Chance." He played before Kissyboots in the Battle of The Bands. With his [[Wikipedia:Two Tone|two tone]] suit and rousing chant of "pick it up, pick it up," Fatty is a [[Wikipedia:Ska|ska]] machine. He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:Trollswantautograph.PNG|150px|KRA'AGH!]] ||

=====Trolls=====
The trolls enter So and So's dressing room while [[So and So]] is preparing for the Battle of the Bands. In their native tongue, they ask her for her autograph. Apparently So and So can understand them, and is happy to oblige. But before she could sign, she was TWELVE-SIDED DIED!, inexplicably by a 20-sided die. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza. One of the trolls appears again, silhouetted, in an Easter egg in the email [[death metal]].
|-
|[[Image:whatsherfacesshark.PNG|150px|A seaworthy bass]] ||

=====A Shark=====
At the Battle of the Bands, [[What's Her Face]]'s bass guitar suddenly transforms into a shark, causing her to comment "My bass feels seaworthy". The shark then bites off the upper half of her body. "Ahhh! My most of me!" she laments.

Amazingly, the shark can also play a mean bass even without fingers. Cheerleader keeps him on to play backup and the remaining member(s) of Kissyboots finish the performance respectably. Alas, after the song ends, the shark can be heard snacking on Cheerleader.
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 9|Issue 9]]==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Image !! Description
|-
|[[Image:TGS_LPGirl.PNG|150px|TEN O' CLOCK AND TWO O' CLOCK!]] ||
=====Learner's Permit Girl=====
This girl first appears in Teen Girl Squad Issue 9. She is not a very good driver, and ends up DRiVER'S ED'ED...DEADing Cheerleader. On the plus side, she gives Strong Bad a ride to Babbage's. She also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:SciFiGreg.png|120px|He knew she'd come back to him]] ||
=====Science Fiction Greg=====
Science Fiction Greg is an old boyfriend of What's Her Face. ''See main article: [[Science Fiction Greg and D N'D Greg]].''
|-
|[[Image:SciFiGregPallies.PNG|152px|Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum]] ||

=====Friends of Science Fiction Greg=====
Putative friends of Science Fiction Greg. They listen patiently as he brags about his relationship with What's Her Face and his experience points. The character on the left bears a resemblance to an overweight character often found in Gary Larson's [[Wikipedia:Far Side|Far Side]] cartoons.
|-
|[[Image:DndGreg.PNG|152px|Doesn't like his style bitten]] ||

=====D N'D Greg=====
An apparent [[Wikipedia:Dungeons and Dragons|Dungeons and Dragons]] expert. ''See main article: [[Science Fiction Greg and D N'D Greg]].''
|-
|[[Image:Vultures.PNG|150px|Vulture'd!]] ||

=====Vultures=====
When [[Mr. Pitters]] tries to join the Teen Girl Squad, these fiendish birds tell him that he "ain't no Teen Girl" before eating him at a fancy dinner. According to the second vulture, Mr. Pitters tastes "quite good, quite good." They may be an evolution of the vulture from Issue 2. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.
|-
|[[Image:Port-O-John.png|150px|Starring Johnny Rite There as some sort of king.]] ||
=====Port-O-John=====
Port-O-John is a [[Wikipedia:portable toilet|portable outhouse]] that came to life by growing eyes, a nose, a mustache, a mouth, hands and feet. A sign on his side reads ''Johnny Rite There''. It put on a play with So and So once Cheerleader died in Teen Girl Squad Issue 9. It didn't get very good reviews, however, and he is injured by [[Arrow'd Guy]].
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10|Issue 10]]==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Image !! Description
|-
|[[Image:A_mighty_warrior.png|center|110px|Corn-based products are no place for him]] ||
=====A Mighty Warrior=====
A tiny [[Wikipedia:Samurai|samurai]] armed with a [[Wikipedia:Naginata|naginata]] who bursts twice from corn-based products: "corn and corn alone" and corn chips. Both times he does so because they are "no place for a mighty warrior." After emerging from the corn chips, he lathe'd a spinning What's Her Face in two with his naginata. He also appeared in an Easter egg for [[myths & legends]], fighting the corn army.
|-
|[[Image:Coach and olympic man.png|150px|We're not sure what they're talking about, either]] ||

=====Olympic Man and Coach=====
A lonely pair at the "Olympic Race," Olympic Man and Coach prepare for some type of sporting event after being ditched by Cheerleader. Coach apparently brings this about by telling Cheerleader over the phone that "the olympics are soooo dumb!", though Coach vehemently denies this to his well-muscled companion, who seems to have no hands.

Olympic Man reappears in [[#Issue 13|Issue 13]] as [[#Peacey P|Peacey P]]'s bodyguard, with the text on his shirt blurred out. When The Ugly One asks for Peacey P's autograph, he dangles (and ultimately drops) her from a hotel balcony into a bayonet tailgate party.
|-
|[[Image:TGS_Scotsmen.PNG|150px|ACHGH!]] ||

=====Scotsmen=====
This "uppaclass" trio of burly, bearded, kilted Scots were drinking a frothy brew from a keg marked "XXX" when they were interrupted by Cheerleader's flirtation. Predictably, she was rejected and caber-tossed only 23 metres away for her efforts.
|-
|[[Image:Manolio's.png|150px|p4wned!]] ||

=====Manolios Ugly One=====
The Ugly One's father. Owns [[Minor Companies|Manolios Ugly One's Lectro-pawn]], specializing in used and broken electronic goods. ''See main article: [[Manolios Ugly One]]''
|-
|[[Image:Sir Hotbod Handsomeface.PNG|center|110px|"Oh, why, hello, The Ugly One, you're looking so makey outy tonight."]] ||

=====Sir Hotbod Handsomeface=====
One of [[Strong Bad]]'s many [[secret identity|alter egos]]. He looks like an extremely chiseled construction worker. He makes an appearance when [[The Ugly One]] becomes hot, and Strong Bad imagines meeting her. After Sir Hotbod begins [[Making Out|making out]] with The Ugly One, Strong Bad himself begins to do the same to the piece of loose-leaf they were drawn on, much to the disgust of onlookers [[Strong Mad]], [[Strong Sad]], and [[The Cheat]].
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 11|Issue 11]]==

{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Image !! Description
|-
|[[Image:Death.png|150px|Forebode!]] ||
=====Grim Reaper=====
The [[Grim Reaper]] appears on the horizon as the girls drive off to summer camp. He forbodes and then bites into a hamburger. The girls do not take notice of him.
|-
|[[Image:StoreManager.png|150px|Manager'd!]] ||
=====Shirt Folding Store Manager=====
The Shirt Folding Store Manager is So and So's manager at Shirt Folding Store. She is rude to So and So, calls her "Mark" and tells her to "get to minimum wagin'". The manager is the only character in episode 11 not drawn in black and white. Her hair and face are constructed from a [[:Image:Mary-Kate.jpg|magazine photo]] of [[Wikipedia:Mary-Kate Olsen|Mary-Kate Olsen]]. Her right arm is also drawn much longer than her left and her hands are drawn crudely.
|-
|[[Image:Astronaut.png|150px|Astronaut'd!]] ||

=====Astronaut=====
The astronaut suddenly appears in Shirt Folding Store and punches out the manager, his justification being that she killed his dog. His voice is distorted by the loudspeaker system built into his suit, and he starts each sentence with "Ckhk". He has a cape and can fly.
|-
|[[Image:RacoonGirl.png|150px|Do YOU love her?]] ||

=====Raccoon Girl=====
Raccoon Girl is What's Her Face's bunkmate at the camp. She is weak and emaciated, feels unloved, and needs heavy medication, lest she "go into a coma."
|-
|[[Image:FatMan.png|150px|Not his wife!]] ||

=====Customer=====
A customer at Shirt Folding Store. He needs a present for his wife for their anniversary. He coughs so much that So and So thinks that the present is for his coughiversary. Eventually he coughs up a baseball stadium complete with spectators and announcer just as a double play occurs. He feels it is necessary to point out that this is not his wife.
|-

|[[Image:Leprechaun_SB.PNG|150px|Shoplifting?]] ||

=====Leprechaun Strong Bad=====
A [[Wikipedia:Leprechaun|leprechaun]] version of [[Strong Bad]] appears over [[So and So]]'s shoulder when she thinks about stealing the "tres cutee" shirt. Leprechaun Strong Bad is apparently So and So's bad conscience.
|-
|<center>[[Image:TentacleCamera.png|OBSERVE'd!]]</center> ||

=====Tentacle Camera=====
This floating camera with tentacles is the security system of Shirt Folding Store. It catches So and So shoplifting.
|-
|[[Image:GotCamp.png|150px|Scha-wing!]] ||

=====Camp Counselor Shortshorts=====
Camp Counselor Shortshorts is trying really hard not to be thought of as a square by What's Her Face and The Ugly One by using random "youthful" quotes. He only succeeds in winning over the girls by singing a song with them. He then meets his end at the hands of Maniac in a Speedo.
|-
|[[Image:Bear.png|150px|He stapled it down!]] ||

=====Chumbly Wumbly Bear=====
The Chumbly Wumbly Bear is the subject of the song that the girls sing with the counselor. According to the song, he "came a tumblin' down", but sold neither beans nor eggs - he couldn't, wouldn't and shouldn't. Instead, he "stapled it down".

|-
|[[Image:ManiacInASpeedo.png|150px|Speedo'd!]] ||

=====Maniac in a Speedo=====
Maniac in a Speedo comes in at the end of the "Chumbly Wumbly Bear" song. As seen, he wears a paper bag to hide his face and uses a chainsaw to do his bidding. He cut The Ugly One and What's Her Face in half and did a number on Camp Counselor Shortshorts as well.

|-
|[[Image:CdoggNaptime.png|150px|Jail'd!]] ||

=====C-dogg and Naptime=====
C-dogg and Naptime share a prison cell with So and So. It's not clear which inmate is which. Rubble D is apparently also in that cell or in a nearby one, but we do not see or hear him.
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 12|Issue 12]]==

{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Image !! Description
|-

|[[Image:patchbeard.png|150px|Beard'd!]] ||

=====Patchbeard=====
Patchbeard is Cheerleader's first romantic interest on Valentimes Day and is the first one to give Cheerleader a card. Cheerleader also refers to him as Peter Puberty. After receiving the card, Cheerleader knocks him out with a [[Wikipedia:Club (weapon)#Blackjack|blackjack]].
|-
|[[Image:Band name boys.PNG|150px|"Band name. Band name."]] ||

=====Band Name Boys=====
These are the two boys from whom [[What's Her Face]] attempts to acquire a Valentine's Day card. They enjoy talking about band names; What's Her Face observes this and tells them she likes music, as well as cloth. One of the boys is surprised that she likes cloth, but the other thinks "she likes cloth" is a good band name. In an [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 12#Easter Eggs|Easter egg]], a CD cover with the name "she likes cloth" is shown, along with the top of the Band Name Boys' heads.
|-
|[[Image:MrsEmbalmo.png|150px|Dea'd!]] ||

=====Mrs. Embalmo=====
Mrs. Embalmo is the one lunchlady who did not give The Ugly One a card for Valentine's Day. This is probably because there's nothing left of her but a creaking skeleton.
|-
| [[Image:Tines.PNG|150px|TINES!]] ||
=====Tines Racer=====
The Tines Racer is a fork-shaped character who drives a "Tines Racing" car, named after the [[Wikipedia:Tine (structural)|points on his head]]. He has a handlebar [[mustache]] and wears a scarf. He drives over So and So when she gets angry at the other girls' mispronunciation of "Valentine's".
|-
| [[Image:Mindy TGS12 Egg.png|150px|"Gag me with a spoon!"]]||

=====Mindy=====
Mindy was the "chief cheerleader" from 1984 to [[1987]]. Many current cheerleaders, including Cheerleader, appear to look up to her to the point of worship, and they worship her at her own [[Teen Girl Squad Locations#Mindy's Shrine|shrine]].

|-
| [[Image:Robot.PNG|150px|"TECH-NO-LOGiCAL RO-MANCE"]]||

=====Strong Bad Robot=====
It is a robot with Strong Bad's face on it who talks in Strong Bad's voice (with vocoder effects). He approves of "TECH-NO-LOGiCAL RO-MANCE" and sings a song about it twice.
|-

| [[Image:Prez.png|150px|"Whattaya mean I'm less than B?"]]||

=====Class Prez=====
Class Prez has a "technological romance" with Cheerleader by text messaging her from a few feet away, but is dismayed when she tells him he is "less than B". His phone model, "CRKR" (short for "Cracker"), is a play on the Motorola cellular phone KRZR. The name itself is also a play on the recent naming of cell phones after foods like the LG Chocolate and the BlackBerry. This could also explain why the phone has a bite taken out of it. He is skewered by the USB Dongle Goblin.
|-
| [[Image:Full_Bars.png|150px|"Texting from a few feet away? FOR SHAME!"]] ||

=====Wireless Wizard=====
The Wireless Wizard dislikes people misusing wireless technology, such as sending text messages from a few feet away or making unidentifiable [[Wikipedia:Emoticon|emoticons]]. He appears to be attracted to What's Her Face.
|-
| | [[Image:usbdgob.png|150px|Here he comes!]] ||
=====The USB Dongle Goblin=====
The USB Dongle Goblin is a creature with a pointed nose and USB plug shaped body that arrives to skewer Cheerleader and Class Prez after Wireless Wizard mentions him. His shape is based on the emoticon Cheerleader used in her text message to Class Prez: >KO)->
|}

==[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 13|Issue 13]]==

{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Image !! Description
|-

|[[Image:Momkins.png|150px|"Awww, shush!"]] ||

=====Momkins=====
Momkins, also called Mrs. Tompkinsrobotmom[[erson]] by So and So, is [[Tompkins]]'s mother. She is a [[robot]] dressed like a prospector with a deep masculine southern accent and stubble on her face. She apparently goes out prospecting to find a new ex-husband. Her character is a play on the term "Gold Digger", who would marry for money, then divorce.
|-

|[[Image:Timkins.png|150px|"Are all goo goos wah wahs?"]] ||

=====Timkins=====
Timkins is apparently Tompkins's baby brother. So and So has to babysit him along with Tompkins.

|-

|[[Image:Tompkins_Virtual_Pet.PNG|175px|"Please stop feeding me!"]] ||

=====Tompkins's Virtual Pet=====
Tompkins has a virtual pet which he overfeeds. Sketches of it appeared in the [[Sketchbook#SK-2007-06-21|Sketchbook]].

|-

|[[Image:Buttcrkplum.png|150px|"And this is for a how many gallon toilet, ma'am?"]] ||

=====Buttcrack Plumber=====
The Buttcrack Plumber works for a company called Buttcrack Plumbing. Cheerleader calls him Randy, but it's questionable that the two were having the same conversation. Assuming that Cheerleader meant to call him, he's on Cheerleader's "B-list" of boys.

|-

|[[Image:Peaceyp.png|150px|Ya'll biscuitheads!]] ||

=====Peacey P=====
Peacey P is a rapper that The Ugly One seems to admire. His speech is very muddled, and some of what he says is unintelligible. He has a symbolized representation of his name ("☮y P") on his shirt, and a very large [[Wikipedia:Afro|afro]]. His name bears a striking resemblance to either [[Wikipedia:Eazy E|Eazy E]] or [[Wikipedia:Percee P|Percee P]], and his voice and singing style are very similar to [[Wikipedia:Snoop Dogg|Snoop Dogg]]. His album "Deliberance" was released on Crample-O Stow Records (that sursdai). His favorite phrase is 'y'all biscuitheads'.

[[Homestar Runner]] wears a Peacey P shirt in [[Main Page 24]].

|-

|[[Image:Police Officers.png|150px|They're not Timkins' real father!]] ||

=====Policemen=====
The police officers arrive at Tompkins's house to watch the Pay-per-view show that The Ugly One ordered. So and So overreacts to their presence, but What's Her Face invites them in. One of them seems to be attracted to Momkins.

|}

== Other ==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Image !! Description
|-
|[[Image:Strong bad email D.PNG|150px|jugga jigga wugga]] ||
=====Brainkrieg=====
Seen in [[death metal]], Brainkrieg is a death metal band in [[Strong Bad]]'s imagination that seems to use all of the wrong "d-e" words in their song (deli-style, dentist). They also frequently use the phrase "Jugga jigga wugga". They have a large, poorly drawn audience watching their performance. Cheerleader seems to be a fan—she comes for the wuggas, but stays for the jiggy juggas. They also received last place in The Battle of the Crappy High School Bands.
|-
|[[Image:Cornarmy.png|150px|No match.]] ||

=====The Corn Army=====
The army debuted in an Easter Egg in [[myths & legends]]. It is apparently led by Cephas Cornwall, but is no match for [[#A Mighty Warrior|A Mighty Warrior]].
|}

==Quotes of the Week==
{{qotwstart}}
*{{qotw|'''Olda Boy''': "I'm gonna miss video games."|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 5]]|Mirror:oldaboy2 missvg.mp3}}
|}

{{Teen Girl Squad}}

[[Category: Teen Girl Squad Characters]]

more armies

76.18.71.238 — Sun, 27 May 2007 08:07:04 GMT

76.18.71.238: /* Explanations */

{{sbenav|172}}
[[Image:Homestar Frank Bennedetto more armies.png|thumb|"The Homestarmy has a career for you in the no-armed forces!"]]

Strong Bad gives us a tour of his Vaguely Military Career Fair.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{film|Strong Bad}}, {{film|The Cheat}}/[[Tito]], {{film|Strong Mad|}}, {{film|Strong Sad}}, {{film|Coach Z}}, {{film|The King of Town}}, {{film|The Poopsmith}}, {{film|Homestar Runner}}, {{film|Firebert}} (Easter egg)

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[Strong Bad's Basement]], [[Gymnasium]], [[Strong Badia]], [[The King of Town's Castle]]

{{Comp|Lappy 486}}

'''Date:''' Monday, May 21, 2007

'''Running Time:''' 3:40

'''Page Title:''' Lappy 486

==Transcript==
'''STRONG BAD:''' Bring to me a suitable email, that I may check it down.

<blockquote class="lappy email"><div>
subject: Strong Badia's Army</div>
Mr Strong Bad<br>
I have three sons that wish to join the Strongbadia army.<br>
Do you have any pamphlets, brochures, video information<br>
that could assist.<br>
Yours, <br>
Paul, Perth <br>
Western Australia
</blockquote>
''{He says "Mr" as "Mere" and says "Hey, I am no mere Strong Bad, okay?!" after reading "Mr Strong Bad". He also reads "Paul, Perth" as one name.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{clears screen, typing}'' Look Perthy Paul, I've been over this already: Strong Badia doesn't have/need''{pronounces have-slash-need}'' an army. When we need muscle, we farm it out to our favorite band of shady missionaries, er I mean mercenaries, MERCENARIES! In fact, if your sons are so bonzer to enlist, they can ''{doesn't type}'' just ''{typing}'' swing by their booth at our Vaguely Military Career Fair, which just happens to be starting right now!

''{Cut to a wide shot of The Cheat next to Strong Bad. Strong Bad turns around to face him.}''

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, it's not for three weeks. Okay.

''{Cut to a black screen reading "2 weeks later...". Cut to Strong Bad in his basement.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Introducing...

''{Cut to The Cheat on the couch, with a cane, a bowtie, and a top hat reading "Tito". He turns left and right and waves.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ...Tito the Tophaticent! And his beautiful assistant,

''{Cut to a wide shot of the basement, revealing Strong Mad standing behind the couch with two basketballs in his singlet. He waves. Silhouettes of Strong Bad and Strong Sad are visible.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Mad with two basketballs shoved down his singlet!

'''STRONG SAD:''' Yaaaay!! ''{claps}''

''{Cut to a black screen reading "1 week later...". Cut to Strong Bad sitting at a booth in the gymnasium, wearing an eyepatch and a taped-on mustache. On the booth is a muffler, a stack of brochures, and a pipe. Coach Z walks by.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Excuse me, Ganglo-Saxon. You look like the type of kid that gets his lunch handed to him daily. Well, if you'd like to be the lunch-handerer ''{raises his glove, revealing a robotic claw taped to it}'' for a change, then boy, do the On Point Kings have a brochure for you!

''{Strong Bad puts the brochure on the table. It has the On Point Kings logo on top of a camouflage-style background.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' It's a Roman trifold ''{opens brochure}'' printed on 65-pound cardstock.

''{The camera zooms in on the various features of the brochure.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' 14-point Helvetica, laid out using QuarkXpress! A ''pirated version'' of QuarkXpress!

''{Flips open to another side of the brochure, which shows photos of the On Point Kings in action.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' We specialize in black ops, brown ops, and the occasional beige op.

''{Cut to footage of Strong Badia, where a hopscotch grid has been drawn on the dirt. Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and The Cheat are there, all wearing fake mustaches. "CLASSIFIED" has been stamped on the screen. The Cheat starts hopping along the squares.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Come on, The Cheat! Go for sixies! ''Sixies!''

''{Cut back to Strong Bad at the booth.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' How do you ever expect to get an ''{shows off his features as he says them}'' eye patch, mustache, or robotic arm like this— clank, clank— unless you join up with a shady band of missionaries? Oh, crap, I did it again! ''{camera moves away}'' Mercenaries, I meant mercenaries! ''{screen pans right and fades out}'' We do bad stuff!

''{Cut to The King of Town at his booth. He is asleep and snoring while he is fed Giblet Gravy through a mask and tube. There is a TV on his table, as well as a sign reading, "Out to lunch Watch video" and an arrow pointing to the TV. Two posters are on the wall. Cut to the video, which shows a silhouetted The Poopsmith slowly climbing up the King's castle.}''

'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{voiceover}'' The drive... the power... the skills... the motivation... the power again...

''{The Poopsmith has reached the top of the castle. He grabs his shovel.}''

'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{voiceover}'' The fortitude...

''{The Poopsmith holds the shovel by his side.}''

'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{voiceover}'' The strive...

''{The Poopsmith holds the shovel up to the dark, cloudy sky as lightning flashes.}''

'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{voiceover}'' The ideals...

''{Lightning strikes the shovel, which gives The Poopsmith dark gloves, a gas mask, a club, and a shield.}''

'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{voiceover}'' The list of attributes...

''{Zoom out on The Poopsmith, revealing a black and white poster with five Poopsmiths with the same gear. A King of Town logo is in the center and the words "The Municipality" are at the top.}''

'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{voiceover}'' The Municipality. ''{words appear as the King says them}'' Honor. Valor. Buttor.

''{Cut to Homestar Runner's booth. Homestar is wearing an orange bowl on his head and is wielding an orange spoon. The table has the popcorn machine, Frank Bennedetto, behind a sign reading "Not free popcorn, memorial statue". There are two posters on the wall, one depicting Homestar wearing the same outfit, with the caption "Do You Has?", and another depicting the orange bowl and spoon, with the caption "Boond You Like?"}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Say, young man! Say, young man, young man, young man, young man, young man, young man, young man! ''{points at viewer}'' You look like you come from a long line of five bucks-havers. Well, the Homestarmy has a career for ''you'' ''{points}'' in the no-armed forces!

''{Cut to closeup of Homestar.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Say, you good at video games? I'm not good at video games. ''{chuckles}'' The last time I fired up one of my old Sega tapes, it made me a waffle. ''{zoom in}'' Say, you like pamphlets? ''{holds up a book of "Game Program Instructions" by Videlectrix}'' Here's a pamphlet! ''{tears book in half}'' Here's two pamphlets!

''{Cut to the original wide shot.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Say, you got a girlfriend? Well, what if your girlfriend was a ''{holds up spoon}'' wooden spoon and an ''{bowl flies off his head}'' orange plastic bowl? ''{lowers eyelids}'' That'd be really weird, man. What kind of screwed-up kid are you? ''{angry}'' We don't recruit your kind! ''{waves spoon}'' Get out of here!

''{Cut back to Strong Bad at the Lappy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' So that's fair, right Dinkum? You send your coolest son off to join the On Point Kings. He'll have to be jumped in. You send your fat son off to join The Municipality. He'll have to be ''{short pause}'' pooped in. And then you send your step-headed red-child off to certain doom in the Homestarmy. He's gonna wanna be jumped out. Well, I gotta go find the bicycle pump. Tito the Tophaticent's beautiful assistant's looking a little...lopsided.

''{Strong Bad gets up and leaves. [[The Paper]] comes down with an odd, sick-sounding noise; it is crumpled and torn. Strong Bad peeks in from the right side of the screen.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh. That's a bad sign.

''{Strong Bad leaves again.}''

==Easter Eggs==
[[Image:Shady missionaries.png|thumb|Fairly Religious Overtones!]]
*Click on "Shady Missionaries" to see a [[Taranchula]] album of the same name.
* When Homestar says "The last time I fired up one of my old [[Sega tapes]], it made me a waffle", click anywhere on the screen to bring up a picture of a [[wikipedia:waffle iron|waffle iron]] with a [[Wikipedia:Sega Genesis|Genesis]]-like controller and cartridge attached to it.
*At the end, click on "Tito the Tophaticent's" to see a video clip:
:''{The Cheat, in his Firebert outfit, is standing in front of a sign that bears the Cheat Commandos logo and reads "Meet TV's Firebert!" After a long pause with cricket sounds, he takes out a fine tip red permanent marker and angrily replaces "Firebert" with "Trogdor." He smiles and sighs happily as a large crowd of people gathers around and mumbles to each other. The only discernible phrases are "Oh, Trogdor, man, it's Trogdor" and "He looks taller."}''

==Fun Facts==
{{checkstuffpage}}

===Explanations===
*[[wikipedia:Mercenary|Mercenaries]] are hired soldiers not currently a member of any national armed forces organization, while [[Wikipedia:Missionaries|missionaries]] preach religious teachings.
*Strong Bad uses stereotypical examples of [[wikipedia:Australian English|Australian English]] in his reply, "bonzer" (meaning excellent) and "fair dinkum" (meaning true or genuine).
*[[wikipedia:Black ops|Black ops]] are covert operations which involve activities of a legally or ethically questionable nature.
*Giblet gravy is [[Wikipedia:gravy|gravy]] with the [[Wikipedia:giblets|giblets]], or internal organs, of turkey or chicken. It is usually served with the type of poultry from which the giblets came.
*"Jumping in" is a typical gang initiation ritual where new members are attacked by several gang members at once. The new member must fight back to prove himself before being accepted.
*"Step-headed red-child" is a [[Wikipedia:Spoonerism|spoonerism]] of [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=red-headed+stepchild "redheaded stepchild"], an expression used to refer to a social outcast.
*"Ganglo-Saxon" is a [[portmanteau]] of "gangly" and "[[Wikipedia:Anglo-Saxon|Anglo-Saxon]]".
*The brochure for the On Point Kings states that the version of QuarkXPress is registered to "B4KDØR H4XXØR" on the third inside page. This is a reference to [[wikipedia:Hacker|computer hackers]] who use "[[wikipedia:Backdoor|backdoors]]" to crack software copy-protection.

===Trivia===
[[Image:On Point Kings brochure.png|thumb|"Bro, sure!"]]
*The label on the [[Floppy Disk Container]] reads "[[Floppy Disk Container#dark seed|dark seed]]".
*This email contains another instance of [[Strong Mad smiling]].
*Apparently, The Cheat himself voices Firebert on the [[Cheat Commandos]] cartoon (Which is no surprise, as Firebert appears to be the only Cheat Commando incapable of speech).

===Remarks===
*The [[font]] [[wikipedia:Helvetica|Helvetica]] is not present anywhere on the On Point Kings' brochure. Part of it is actually set in Coolvetica, a knockoff version.

===Goofs===
*Coach Z's emblem is backwards.
*At the end, after Strong Bad goes away, the right edge of the table disappears.

===Inside References===
*This email makes several references to [[army]]. These include:
**Strong Bad's claim that he already said Strong Badia has/needs no army.
**The memorial to [[Frank Bennedetto]], the only casualty of [[The Battle of Strong Badia]].
**The Cheat does not receive any visitors until he replaces "[[Firebert]]" with "[[Trogdor]]". In [[army]], Strong Bad had commented that Firebert was not a good [[Cheat Commandos|commando]] name.
**A poster at Homestar's booth is captioned with "Do you has?" In [[army]], Homestar asks Strong Bad, "Do you has what it takes to join the Homestarmy?" This poster is also available as a [[Downloads|downloadable]] [[wallpaper]].
**In [[army]], Homestar tells his troops to give five bucks to the Homestarmy. Here, he states, "You look like you come from a long line of five-bucks-havers."
*The Cheat's [[Tito]] costume is from [[part-time job]].
*The music during the Tito scene is from [[Strongest Man in the World]].
*[[The Municipality]] was previously mentioned in [[disconnected]].
*The Paper's poor condition is a reference to [[montage]], where it's stated that "The Paper stuck around until email #173, at which time Strong Bad upgraded to an inkjet printer" (this email is #172).
**The sound it makes is an extended version of the one from [[Sick Day]].
* The [[On Point Kings]] were first referenced in [[origins]].
*[[The smashed muffler]] and a pipe are sitting on Strong Bad's recruiting stand.
* In his "[[Homestarmy]]" monologue, Homestar mentions [[Sega tapes]].
*The time displayed on the scoreboard is [[Pi|3:14]].
*Homestar's line about pursuing a career in the "no-armed forces" references Homestar's [[Lack of Visible Arms|lack of visible arms]].
*Strong Bad's costume, from when he is running the On Point Kings booth, features a [[mustache]].
*The sound The Cheat makes in the beginning of the Firebert Easter Egg is similar to the one he made in [[mile]] after Strong Bad left.
*The skeleton costume visible on the hands of the "shady missionary" on the cover of Taranchula's album was also worn by the guitarist in their [[Moving Very Slowly (video)|Moving Very Slowly music video]].

===Real-World References===
*The Municipality video closely resembles a commercial for the [[wikipedia:United States Marine Corps|US Marines.]]
**Similarly, the Poopsmith's shield has "Pooper Fi" written on it, a parody of "[[wikipedia:Semper fidelis#The United States Marine Corps|Semper Fi]]" a motto of the US Marines.
*[[wikipedia:Joe Piscopo|Joe Piscopo]] is an American comedian known for his work in ''[[wikipedia:Saturday Night Live|Saturday Night Live]]''.
*[[wikipedia:QuarkXPress|QuarkXPress]] is a page layout application for Mac and Windows.
*The pamphlet for the Homestarmy features the cover art for the [[Atari 2600]] version of ''[[wikipedia:Space Invaders|Space Invaders]]''.
*Strong Bad's mercenary costume closely resemblances that of [[wikipedia:Major_Bludd|Major Bludd]], a mercenary from the [[Wikipedia:G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero (TV series)|G.I. Joe]] cartoon series.

==External Links==
{{sbemailextlinks|172|{{{2|11481}}}}}

{{Strong Bad Email}}

more armies

76.18.71.238 — Sun, 27 May 2007 08:05:38 GMT

76.18.71.238: /* Explanations */

{{sbenav|172}}
[[Image:Homestar Frank Bennedetto more armies.png|thumb|"The Homestarmy has a career for you in the no-armed forces!"]]

Strong Bad gives us a tour of his Vaguely Military Career Fair.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{film|Strong Bad}}, {{film|The Cheat}}/[[Tito]], {{film|Strong Mad|}}, {{film|Strong Sad}}, {{film|Coach Z}}, {{film|The King of Town}}, {{film|The Poopsmith}}, {{film|Homestar Runner}}, {{film|Firebert}} (Easter egg)

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[Strong Bad's Basement]], [[Gymnasium]], [[Strong Badia]], [[The King of Town's Castle]]

{{Comp|Lappy 486}}

'''Date:''' Monday, May 21, 2007

'''Running Time:''' 3:40

'''Page Title:''' Lappy 486

==Transcript==
'''STRONG BAD:''' Bring to me a suitable email, that I may check it down.

<blockquote class="lappy email"><div>
subject: Strong Badia's Army</div>
Mr Strong Bad<br>
I have three sons that wish to join the Strongbadia army.<br>
Do you have any pamphlets, brochures, video information<br>
that could assist.<br>
Yours, <br>
Paul, Perth <br>
Western Australia
</blockquote>
''{He says "Mr" as "Mere" and says "Hey, I am no mere Strong Bad, okay?!" after reading "Mr Strong Bad". He also reads "Paul, Perth" as one name.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{clears screen, typing}'' Look Perthy Paul, I've been over this already: Strong Badia doesn't have/need''{pronounces have-slash-need}'' an army. When we need muscle, we farm it out to our favorite band of shady missionaries, er I mean mercenaries, MERCENARIES! In fact, if your sons are so bonzer to enlist, they can ''{doesn't type}'' just ''{typing}'' swing by their booth at our Vaguely Military Career Fair, which just happens to be starting right now!

''{Cut to a wide shot of The Cheat next to Strong Bad. Strong Bad turns around to face him.}''

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, it's not for three weeks. Okay.

''{Cut to a black screen reading "2 weeks later...". Cut to Strong Bad in his basement.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Introducing...

''{Cut to The Cheat on the couch, with a cane, a bowtie, and a top hat reading "Tito". He turns left and right and waves.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ...Tito the Tophaticent! And his beautiful assistant,

''{Cut to a wide shot of the basement, revealing Strong Mad standing behind the couch with two basketballs in his singlet. He waves. Silhouettes of Strong Bad and Strong Sad are visible.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Mad with two basketballs shoved down his singlet!

'''STRONG SAD:''' Yaaaay!! ''{claps}''

''{Cut to a black screen reading "1 week later...". Cut to Strong Bad sitting at a booth in the gymnasium, wearing an eyepatch and a taped-on mustache. On the booth is a muffler, a stack of brochures, and a pipe. Coach Z walks by.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Excuse me, Ganglo-Saxon. You look like the type of kid that gets his lunch handed to him daily. Well, if you'd like to be the lunch-handerer ''{raises his glove, revealing a robotic claw taped to it}'' for a change, then boy, do the On Point Kings have a brochure for you!

''{Strong Bad puts the brochure on the table. It has the On Point Kings logo on top of a camouflage-style background.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' It's a Roman trifold ''{opens brochure}'' printed on 65-pound cardstock.

''{The camera zooms in on the various features of the brochure.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' 14-point Helvetica, laid out using QuarkXpress! A ''pirated version'' of QuarkXpress!

''{Flips open to another side of the brochure, which shows photos of the On Point Kings in action.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' We specialize in black ops, brown ops, and the occasional beige op.

''{Cut to footage of Strong Badia, where a hopscotch grid has been drawn on the dirt. Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and The Cheat are there, all wearing fake mustaches. "CLASSIFIED" has been stamped on the screen. The Cheat starts hopping along the squares.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Come on, The Cheat! Go for sixies! ''Sixies!''

''{Cut back to Strong Bad at the booth.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' How do you ever expect to get an ''{shows off his features as he says them}'' eye patch, mustache, or robotic arm like this— clank, clank— unless you join up with a shady band of missionaries? Oh, crap, I did it again! ''{camera moves away}'' Mercenaries, I meant mercenaries! ''{screen pans right and fades out}'' We do bad stuff!

''{Cut to The King of Town at his booth. He is asleep and snoring while he is fed Giblet Gravy through a mask and tube. There is a TV on his table, as well as a sign reading, "Out to lunch Watch video" and an arrow pointing to the TV. Two posters are on the wall. Cut to the video, which shows a silhouetted The Poopsmith slowly climbing up the King's castle.}''

'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{voiceover}'' The drive... the power... the skills... the motivation... the power again...

''{The Poopsmith has reached the top of the castle. He grabs his shovel.}''

'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{voiceover}'' The fortitude...

''{The Poopsmith holds the shovel by his side.}''

'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{voiceover}'' The strive...

''{The Poopsmith holds the shovel up to the dark, cloudy sky as lightning flashes.}''

'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{voiceover}'' The ideals...

''{Lightning strikes the shovel, which gives The Poopsmith dark gloves, a gas mask, a club, and a shield.}''

'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{voiceover}'' The list of attributes...

''{Zoom out on The Poopsmith, revealing a black and white poster with five Poopsmiths with the same gear. A King of Town logo is in the center and the words "The Municipality" are at the top.}''

'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{voiceover}'' The Municipality. ''{words appear as the King says them}'' Honor. Valor. Buttor.

''{Cut to Homestar Runner's booth. Homestar is wearing an orange bowl on his head and is wielding an orange spoon. The table has the popcorn machine, Frank Bennedetto, behind a sign reading "Not free popcorn, memorial statue". There are two posters on the wall, one depicting Homestar wearing the same outfit, with the caption "Do You Has?", and another depicting the orange bowl and spoon, with the caption "Boond You Like?"}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Say, young man! Say, young man, young man, young man, young man, young man, young man, young man! ''{points at viewer}'' You look like you come from a long line of five bucks-havers. Well, the Homestarmy has a career for ''you'' ''{points}'' in the no-armed forces!

''{Cut to closeup of Homestar.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Say, you good at video games? I'm not good at video games. ''{chuckles}'' The last time I fired up one of my old Sega tapes, it made me a waffle. ''{zoom in}'' Say, you like pamphlets? ''{holds up a book of "Game Program Instructions" by Videlectrix}'' Here's a pamphlet! ''{tears book in half}'' Here's two pamphlets!

''{Cut to the original wide shot.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Say, you got a girlfriend? Well, what if your girlfriend was a ''{holds up spoon}'' wooden spoon and an ''{bowl flies off his head}'' orange plastic bowl? ''{lowers eyelids}'' That'd be really weird, man. What kind of screwed-up kid are you? ''{angry}'' We don't recruit your kind! ''{waves spoon}'' Get out of here!

''{Cut back to Strong Bad at the Lappy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' So that's fair, right Dinkum? You send your coolest son off to join the On Point Kings. He'll have to be jumped in. You send your fat son off to join The Municipality. He'll have to be ''{short pause}'' pooped in. And then you send your step-headed red-child off to certain doom in the Homestarmy. He's gonna wanna be jumped out. Well, I gotta go find the bicycle pump. Tito the Tophaticent's beautiful assistant's looking a little...lopsided.

''{Strong Bad gets up and leaves. [[The Paper]] comes down with an odd, sick-sounding noise; it is crumpled and torn. Strong Bad peeks in from the right side of the screen.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh. That's a bad sign.

''{Strong Bad leaves again.}''

==Easter Eggs==
[[Image:Shady missionaries.png|thumb|Fairly Religious Overtones!]]
*Click on "Shady Missionaries" to see a [[Taranchula]] album of the same name.
* When Homestar says "The last time I fired up one of my old [[Sega tapes]], it made me a waffle", click anywhere on the screen to bring up a picture of a [[wikipedia:waffle iron|waffle iron]] with a [[Wikipedia:Sega Genesis|Genesis]]-like controller and cartridge attached to it.
*At the end, click on "Tito the Tophaticent's" to see a video clip:
:''{The Cheat, in his Firebert outfit, is standing in front of a sign that bears the Cheat Commandos logo and reads "Meet TV's Firebert!" After a long pause with cricket sounds, he takes out a fine tip red permanent marker and angrily replaces "Firebert" with "Trogdor." He smiles and sighs happily as a large crowd of people gathers around and mumbles to each other. The only discernible phrases are "Oh, Trogdor, man, it's Trogdor" and "He looks taller."}''

==Fun Facts==
{{checkstuffpage}}

===Explanations===
*[[wikipedia:Mercenary|Mercenaries]] are hired soldiers not currently a member of any national armed forces organization, while [[Wikipedia:Missionaries|missionaries]] preach religious teachings.
*Strong Bad uses stereotypical examples of [[wikipedia:Australian English|Australian English]] in his reply, "bonzer" (meaning excellent) and "fair dinkum" (meaning true or genuine).
*[[wikipedia:Black ops|Black ops]] are covert operations which involve activities of a legally or ethically questionable nature.
*Giblet gravy is [[Wikipedia:gravy|gravy]] with the [[Wikipedia:giblets|giblets]], or internal organs, of turkey or chicken. It is usually served with the type of poultry from which the giblets came.
*"Jumping in" is a typical gang initiation ritual where new members are attacked by several gang members at once. The new member must fight back to prove himself before being accepted.
*"Step-headed red-child" is a [[Wikipedia:Spoonerism|spoonerism]] of [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=red-headed+stepchild "redheaded stepchild"], an expression used to refer to a social outcast.
*"Ganglo-Saxon" is a [[portmanteau]] of "gangly" and "[[Wikipedia:Anglo-Saxon|Anglo-Saxon]]".
*The brochure for the On Point Kings states that the version of QuarkXPress is registered to "B4KDØR H4XXØR" on the third inside page. This is a reference to [[wikipedia:Hacker|computer hackers]] who use "[[wikipedia:Backdoor|backdoors]]" to crack software copy-protection.
The fact that the printer printed out a poor quality document is most likely because, in another email, it was said that strongbad upgraded to a laser printer in around email 173, and "more armies" is email 172.

===Trivia===
[[Image:On Point Kings brochure.png|thumb|"Bro, sure!"]]
*The label on the [[Floppy Disk Container]] reads "[[Floppy Disk Container#dark seed|dark seed]]".
*This email contains another instance of [[Strong Mad smiling]].
*Apparently, The Cheat himself voices Firebert on the [[Cheat Commandos]] cartoon (Which is no surprise, as Firebert appears to be the only Cheat Commando incapable of speech).

===Remarks===
*The [[font]] [[wikipedia:Helvetica|Helvetica]] is not present anywhere on the On Point Kings' brochure. Part of it is actually set in Coolvetica, a knockoff version.

===Goofs===
*Coach Z's emblem is backwards.
*At the end, after Strong Bad goes away, the right edge of the table disappears.

===Inside References===
*This email makes several references to [[army]]. These include:
**Strong Bad's claim that he already said Strong Badia has/needs no army.
**The memorial to [[Frank Bennedetto]], the only casualty of [[The Battle of Strong Badia]].
**The Cheat does not receive any visitors until he replaces "[[Firebert]]" with "[[Trogdor]]". In [[army]], Strong Bad had commented that Firebert was not a good [[Cheat Commandos|commando]] name.
**A poster at Homestar's booth is captioned with "Do you has?" In [[army]], Homestar asks Strong Bad, "Do you has what it takes to join the Homestarmy?" This poster is also available as a [[Downloads|downloadable]] [[wallpaper]].
**In [[army]], Homestar tells his troops to give five bucks to the Homestarmy. Here, he states, "You look like you come from a long line of five-bucks-havers."
*The Cheat's [[Tito]] costume is from [[part-time job]].
*The music during the Tito scene is from [[Strongest Man in the World]].
*[[The Municipality]] was previously mentioned in [[disconnected]].
*The Paper's poor condition is a reference to [[montage]], where it's stated that "The Paper stuck around until email #173, at which time Strong Bad upgraded to an inkjet printer" (this email is #172).
**The sound it makes is an extended version of the one from [[Sick Day]].
* The [[On Point Kings]] were first referenced in [[origins]].
*[[The smashed muffler]] and a pipe are sitting on Strong Bad's recruiting stand.
* In his "[[Homestarmy]]" monologue, Homestar mentions [[Sega tapes]].
*The time displayed on the scoreboard is [[Pi|3:14]].
*Homestar's line about pursuing a career in the "no-armed forces" references Homestar's [[Lack of Visible Arms|lack of visible arms]].
*Strong Bad's costume, from when he is running the On Point Kings booth, features a [[mustache]].
*The sound The Cheat makes in the beginning of the Firebert Easter Egg is similar to the one he made in [[mile]] after Strong Bad left.
*The skeleton costume visible on the hands of the "shady missionary" on the cover of Taranchula's album was also worn by the guitarist in their [[Moving Very Slowly (video)|Moving Very Slowly music video]].

===Real-World References===
*The Municipality video closely resembles a commercial for the [[wikipedia:United States Marine Corps|US Marines.]]
**Similarly, the Poopsmith's shield has "Pooper Fi" written on it, a parody of "[[wikipedia:Semper fidelis#The United States Marine Corps|Semper Fi]]" a motto of the US Marines.
*[[wikipedia:Joe Piscopo|Joe Piscopo]] is an American comedian known for his work in ''[[wikipedia:Saturday Night Live|Saturday Night Live]]''.
*[[wikipedia:QuarkXPress|QuarkXPress]] is a page layout application for Mac and Windows.
*The pamphlet for the Homestarmy features the cover art for the [[Atari 2600]] version of ''[[wikipedia:Space Invaders|Space Invaders]]''.
*Strong Bad's mercenary costume closely resemblances that of [[wikipedia:Major_Bludd|Major Bludd]], a mercenary from the [[Wikipedia:G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero (TV series)|G.I. Joe]] cartoon series.

==External Links==
{{sbemailextlinks|172|{{{2|11481}}}}}

{{Strong Bad Email}}