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Ezekiel 18:20 - The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.
There we have the principle of individual salvation.
And how exactly does that apply to the principle of baptizing children? After all, weren't the Hebrew people expected to circumcise their children (or at least the males), and wasn't this covenant of circumcision a mark of the covenant with God? But how can an 8-day old child enter into a covenant agreement with God through circumcision? Because it's not based on a principle of free choice, but upon the covenant agreement God made with the Hebrew people.
The same is true with baptism for the Christian. The Scriptures clearly teach that we are not saved by our own doing (John 1:13, Ephesians 2:8-9, Romans 8:29-30). It is God’s grace—God’s choosing—that makes us his people (1 Peter 2:9). BTW, when we Christians say we are saved by grace, we are basically stating that it was God’s doing, not ours.
Here is a concept I want to introduce: baptism as a means of grace. What does the term “means of grace” mean? The means of grace includes anything through which God works to bring life, salvation, and faith to individuals. The means of grace include Baptism, Holy Communion, the Word, the community of believers.
Now, as I have shown from the Scriptures, Baptism is most certainly one of the means of grace. Certain modern theologians do not acknowledge this, but instead claim that it is merely a symbolic act of submission or obedience. Now, if this were true (that Baptism is not truly a means of grace), then I could understand why it is withheld from those too young to understand. However, based on the Scriptures, I can only conclude that Baptism is in fact a means of grace, and therefore can and should be administered to children as such.
But then again, if Baptism is only a symbolic act of submission, then it would make no difference whatsoever to whom it was administered or how. One still could administer Baptism to children as a mark of dedication to God. There are, after all, cases of children being so dedicated to God in both the Old and New Testaments. Samuel, for example, Sampson (although he didn’t live up to his end), and John the Baptist come to mind, though these may not be the only examples.
But you are right about Baptism alone not saving. It is, after all, only one means of grace. For one to be secure in one’s Baptism, one must also avail themselves of the other means of grace, particularly the ministry of the Word, the gathering of believers, and Holy Communion. After all, Mark !6:16 clearly states that one must both believe and be baptized.
Here is a question: if you encountered someone (perhaps Lutheran) who was baptized as a child, grew up in the church, and trusted Jesus as their Savior, then how would you respond to them? Would you dare to tell them that their Baptism wasn’t valid because they were too young? Or that their faith in Christ is not valid because they did not independently choose it for themselves?
I would contend that Christian parents have a responsibility to their children to do whatever is within their power to make their children Christian. That includes having them baptized, instructing them in the Christian faith, teaching them the Word, bringing them into the worship of the faith community--in short, availing them of the means of grace.