Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

They're not. But you die somehow. DRIVER'S ED'D DEAD'D!!

I wish Homsar made some freaking sense.

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Granted. All he ever does is swear.

I wish I had chunky black boots. With skulls on 'em.

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Your boots turn into skulls. They laugh and say, "Not So Fast, He-Man! I shall use this girl's boots to conquer Castle Greyskull and take over the universe! HEHEHEHEHE!" Needless to say, the Sorceress isn't very happy with you right now.

I wish Ozzie Osborn bit the heads off rattlesnakes instead of puppies.

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Granted. But since he never bit the heads off puppies in the first place, he doesn't.

I wish I had a prosthetic forehead to wear on my real head.

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*Tinkly Magicky Music!* You get a prosthetic forehead. And it never shuts up. It just keeps talking and talking and talking, and never shutting up, until it just about drives you freaking nuts! And for some reason, you can't take it off either. So it just keeps going on and on and on. And it sounds kind of like that guy on the old Fed Ex commercial, the one who would talk so fast you can barely understand him. You even try to stuff an old smelly swe at sock in its mouth, but somehow it magically appears in your mouth instead. Now, not only do you have that annoying talking prosthetic forehead, but now your mouth tastes like old smelly swe at socks. YUCK!! Anyway, it keeps talking and talking and talking until you just can't take anymore. So you decide to seek out the Marvelous Mystical Magician of Mundalee, but he's not able to help you. You're just plain stuck with that stupid prosthetic forehead that just rambles and rambles and rambles with NO FREAKING END IN SIGHT!! AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGBLBLBLBLBLBL!!

I wish IJ has wolverines down his pants.

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Granted, The wolverines got offended by your wish and attacks you instead

I wish someone turns into a pig, that person is not me. And the pig is harmless.

Your best friend turns into a pig. Then everyone you know turns into a pig. Then the entire population turns into pigs. You are all alone. Tee hee.

I wish I had a shirt from ThinkGeek.com

You got one. It's a few hundered sizes too small, tough.

I wish I got top grades in everthing, even if I didn't do anything.

Ok now your so smart you head explodes.
its a happy ending.
I wish I was more buff.

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You overdose on steroids and die.

I wish I had feelings... so I can find the next poster's pitiful excuse for an attempt to ruin that wish funny.

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You have feelings. You find me pitiful. I get angry at you and you and YOU DIE!

I wish for a time travel machine.

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<(* ) THRUSTER DUCK
( << )<~~~ WANTS
O O YOUR SOUL

JD - I applaud you. You saw through it!

Your wish...

You miscalibrate the molecular transfer accelerator. Your head and arms end up somewhere in the year 20X6, and your posterior and whatevers left end up in The Homestar Runner's dry meal. Those parts go on to be known as Sickly Sam.

I wish to find the purpose of wishing.

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You do. It was 42. Your head asplode.

I wish.

dude... 42 is the meaning of life.

SANTAX ERROR!

I Wish for a Copy of the Evil Dead, 1 and 2

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Granted. Unfortunately, your copy is tainted with anthrax for some reason. YOU DIE!

I wish I had a Chrysler that seated about 20.

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Excuse me, but it stinks so much not even NO TOPPINGS would get in.

I wish for... the ability to be Hilary Duff's bodyguard!

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You are but you do such a poor job that Hilary Duff gets kidnapped.


I wish I lived during Ancient Rome.

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You'd be as dead as Caesar!
OWN ZONE!

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You do, but you NEVER get to see hillary duff because you have to gaur her from the raging fans ( who eventually kill you ).

I wish...I sounded like a dork. SIMULPOST BIGTIME.

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Wish granted!
Unfortuneatly, you wished to sound like a dork and you don't look like a dork so people think you're in a costume and they start ripping off your skin and you can't survive w/ out you're skin! You die.


I wish for macromedia flash.

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Alright! You win, The Noid! No more memes.

You do. You pour your heart and soul into your first creation. BLAMMED!

I wish to get BLAMMED!

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<(* ) THRUSTER DUCK
( << )<~~~ WANTS
O O YOUR SOUL

Very well... you brains thusly add a fresh coat of paint to the far wall, courtesy of a Double Barreled Remington Boom-Stick from S-Mart.

I wish to shop smart... I wish to shop S-MART!

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You shop S-Mart. You get all kinds of money-saving bargains. Meanwhile, over in Taiwan, there are people laboring in sweat shops for 23 hours a day for only 13c an hour trying to make all that money-saving merchandise. You save lots of money, but the products fall apart almost as soon as you try to use them. And you didn't even get double coupons, either!

I wish to get rid of all these annoying aliens.

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Wish granted. You wake up. 4 am on a monday morning.

Ops, forgot to wish:

I wish I hadn't forgotten to wish.

TIME PARADOX'D!! Your Space-Time Continuum A Splode!

I wish I could really make a difference.

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You make a difference. Unfortunately, your "difference" deletes the 4th Quarter figures. Everyone is mad at you, now. Only way to redeem yourself is to recreate the figures, showing profit, even if you didn't make one.

I wish I could just get my freakin' Masters Degree already!!

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You get your Master's. You graduate from CGNU with a degree in Cutting Ones. That'll help you go far in life. (Well, actually, all you have to do is find an Hindu-looking guy who throws forks, a really angry guy with no real powers, and a guy who has a black belt in Shovel-Jitsu, and you could start a superhero team).

I wish I were perfect.

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Granted. but you are so perfect you are on the run. Oh and you are an alien. Oh and they want to kill you.

I wish I was totally invincible from anything. Even bad wishes. only good wishes are not protected.

Turn THAT around

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Granted, you survived the end of the world, so you are alone in the endless and empty universe, everything you wish for explodes, and you cannot wish to die

I wish that Jerry Springer turns into a pig

He does. He is further processed into bacon... which comes to you in your breakfast. Then again... some people who have had to resort to cannibalism have claimed that human meat has a similar flavor to human meat (thus the term "long pork")

Bon Apetit!

I wish for a giant hydraulic spatula to be installed in the front of my car that can be delployed from the bumper underneath a car that is going a significantly slower than the posted speed limit, have a probe that will send a directed magnetic blast to the opposing cars engine (shutting it off) while it is being lifted and then subsequently set off to the side of the road.

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