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10:45 PM: Ned realizes that he has missed almost all of Whose Line is it Anyway? He ruses to the TV, but trips and gets his head embedded into the screen.

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10:55 AM: The cable company comes over to see what's happened to Ned's reception. They call the hospital, and Ned is treated for electric 3rd degree burns. It sucks.

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11:06 AM: Ned arrives at the hospital only to see it is run by ravenous chimps.

11:10 PM: Ned is discharged. But not before the monkeys climb on his head.

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11:12: Ned begins to walk home with chimps crawling on his head. People passing by are in awe.

11:13 AM: One of the monkeys rips off Ned's nose.

11:27: Ned finds a crowbar and rips the monkeys off his head, although he's starting to feel woozy from blood loss.

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11:42 AM: Ned passes out next to his car.

Friday, 11:23 AM: Ned wakes up after almost 24 hours of sleep in his car to find hundreds of cars behind him beeping and yelling at him to move. Ned falls back asleep.

11:25 AM: Ned wakes up to find his car is soaring off a cliff.

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11:28 pm: Ned, after having run around and screamed for 3 minutes, goes back to bed.

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11:29 Ned's car hits the ground but he only gets a scratch.

11:30 Ned says a hearty, "Howdy Diddly Do!" to his obnoxious neighbor.

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11:40 Ned's car is now broke, so ponders if he can run all the way back to his home. In fact, he can do cartwheels all the way home. He does just this.

12:23: Ned arrives home with many cuts on his hands, as the path home from the cliff was a dirt one. He goes upstairsto check his email and trips over the mousetrap again.

12:25 Ned opens a virus e-mail and his computer dies.

Friday 12:26 P.M.
Ned goes back to college. He majors in "learning how to fix your computer in 60 seconds" in 60 seconds.

(Is the date right?)

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Sunday 6:42 AM: Ned finally fixes his computer using the "Fix your computer in 60 seconds" method.

6:45am Ned asks his sons Todd and Rod to pray the demons of stupidity out of his computer. A bright light shines on the computer and it miraculously works, despite not being plugged in. Wait till Rev. Lovejoy diddly hears about this!

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7:00 am - Ned goes for an early morning walk, and finds a lucky penny on the sidewalk.

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7:01 AM: Ned reaches for the penny, only to crack his back. He gets the penny, though.

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7:05 am - Crawling on the ground and moaning, Ned is somehow able to recruit a taxi to take him to the hospital once again. The penny is still in his hand.

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7:07 AM: The penny rolls under the seat.

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7:08 am - Ned says "Curses!"

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7:10 AM: Ned tears the seat to bits to get at the penny. The driver tosses him outta the cab.

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7:11 AM: Ned finds himself in Texas somehow, near a 711. He crawls inside. (With the penny, of course.)

7:12 AM: The 7/11 is having a clearance sale! Everything is one cent!

7:14 Sadly, Ned only has one penny, so he buys a gumball. He crawls out of the store.

7:15 AM: Ned takes the gumball and chomps on it very hard, only to find out that it was a jawbreaker. He breaks a tooth.

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7:20: after running around in pain for five minutes, Ned decides to visit the nearest dentist.

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