Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

Granted! They turn to gold, but now your eyes are cramped. I mean, the tear gland is pretty much solid gold. The doctors try to take it out, but you go blind. Then Chuck Norris pwns your blind face.

I wish that I could go on the forum whenever I want, and I couldn't be punished by my parents despite any grounding attempts they try.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

granted, but the forums you go to are not these!!

i wish for a fish who cant kill me!

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Granted. He can swallow you alive, however.

I wish I was the ruler of a country.

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Granted, have fun with Morocco!

I wish I could hold my breath forever and not pass out OR die.

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Granted! You are frozen cryogenically in an ice cube. Still alive, yet still really freakin' cold.

I wish that genies existed.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

Here's a genie. But he smells. And he's fat. Have fun.

I wish I were a REAL Blue Man!

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And real blue men are aliens that can't survive on earth!

I wish I had a nice pair of shorts.

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RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPP!

Oops. Looks like they're too small.

I wish Clan were a Mod.

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Granted! Here they are.

I wish that girls didn't dance with each other all the time.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

granted, now they dance with aliens instead. You're even more jealous now.

I wish didn't eat deodorent.

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no longer eats deoderant. And now his breath stinks to high heaven. And he's always coming up to you and going, "DOOH Hoo Hoo Hoo!" right in your face.

I wish the Municipality wasn't so oppressive.

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They now let you drink water on Wednesdays. Hooray.

I wish Clan were a Mod!

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He becomes a good benovlent mod, and since 75% of the forum blindly hates Clan, they all explode.

I wish for a steak!

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granted, but the cow has furious cow disease! you're dead

i wish i was immortal

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Everyone else dies, & you're all alone. How sad.

I wish the present didn't suck.

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The present doesn't suck. In fact, it's the coolest present EVER!! Unfortunately, it's Didymus' birfday, not yours, so he ends up getting it.

I wish for a nice tall cool glass of frothy OJ.

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Mr. White Ford Bronco himself somehow fits into a Pilsner glass. Enjoy.

I wish that robots were good.

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All of the coolest robots are gone. Seriously, you just wished away pretty much everybody except C-3PO. And Somm-1. Those guys suck.

I wish that the world would disappear.

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So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain. Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell?

The world disappears. And the entire rest of the universe is transformed into a bunch of Clan clones. Since the world is gone, you can't dig a hole and hide from them. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

I wish for voltage!

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You fly a kite near power lines and electrocute yourself. Now that's bupkis - I mean voltage!

I wish I could make a number one jam.

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You make a Number One Jam. And Stinko Man eats it. Combolations!

I wish they would make new episodes of Anti-Cartoon'D!

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They do. They're bad, though. So bad you seal your eyes shut with glue.


I wish for a jar of flame-proof monkeys.

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so you want a jar of flame-proof monkeys?
flame inc. sends you a jar, but they reveal proof of all your terrible secrets.

i wish for something absolutely terrible. that's exactly what i want. nothing nice at all.

Well...I'm sorry but you get this!


I wish for a mango.

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yes! i got exactly what i wished for! how do you like them apples!

Actually, he wished for mango, not apples.

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You wish for nothing? Nothing will come of nothing. You do not get a share of my kingdom.

Also, your girlfriend drinks sleeping potion and you think she's dead and kill yourself and then she wakes up and kills herself when she sees you dead.

I wish for handmade, non-computer-generated Sudoku puzzles!

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You get the sudoku puzzles. Unfortunately, Stinkoman breaks down the wall and steals your girlfriend, and runs off with complete disregard for her safety. You accuse him of choking on retard, then try to burn him, repeating for 30 seconds. Finally, Sonic shows up out of nowhere and challenges Stinkoman to a race. Thereupon, he drops your girlfriend. *MAKEOUTAGE!!* Unfortunately, that kind of action causes her to chop off limbs, so now you have no arms or legs. Teh End!

I wish my lips didn't get stuck in my coffee cup holder on my compy.

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granted, but the computer loses its grip on your lip, along with reality
It runs in circles for three seconds then goes off into the distance ranting about the magic fairy pickle.

I wish TV had no lying commercials like the kind that promise it'll work and then you get it and it doesnt work.

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Behold the age of truth in advertising. The commercials now say things like, "Metamucil - because if you don't go the the bathroom, you'll bloat up and die!" and "Buy our new sports car - it's a gas hog, but at least you'll get all the gold-digger chicks." and "Pay more for our product - it's not better, but at least the label's fancy."

I wish I could meet a lady like Rachael Ray (i.e., qute + food).

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