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"Those nasty beasts have no right to be alive!" said West in an angry rage. He huffed and picked up a rock with his hand and threw it at an orc. He picked up his sword then went to attacking the orcs.

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The Orcs were fighting well, but they were no match for the party.

The Ogre Mage started casting a spell.

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Tem got up woozily"pie..oh, wait, there's a battle. Right." he said. He noticed the mage readying the spell. If he could break its concentration... "100 bottles of ale on the wall, one hundred bottles of ale..." he sang. In his mind he also telepathied the mage, Hey, watcha doin', huhuhuhuh?Eskimos don't have a word for 'hello.' Man, it's so cold up here! Do you think this rock looks like a hot dog?Did you know that ostriches have no brains? Wait, that's starfish. I like the beach!Hey! Hey, this one time... hey! This one time, this one time this one time we... um... do you have a watch?I'm gonna count the stuff on the ground! 1... 2... Have you ever been to Canadia?Did you know bugbears hate humans? I don't get it. I like humans. Humans have souls. Hey, are those new shoes?

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I lost the state spelling bee in FIFTH PLACE!!

Before Micheal could stop him, the Ogre Mage cast his spell, and suddenly there were sixty identical copies of himself standing there. These were not mirror images, for they moved independently. One of them said: "So, what have we here?" Another said: "Humans and Elves and Dwarves and Lizzardmen." And another: "Here to stop our fun, are they? Grrrr... grind their bones, my brothers."

Micheal was confounded. To do what this Ogre Mage had just done required arcane skills beyond that which a mere Ogre Mage should be capable of obtaining. And yet, here he was, face to face with 59 simicalariums (he though that's what that spell must have been... Simicalarium... could be wrong, but it seems likely that that's what it was.) His only hope now was to find the real Ogre Mage and take him out... if the spellcaster falls, so do his Similacalariums. He could gaze into Astral Space, and see it.... yes that would work... the spell caster would be at the center of a web of manaflow arcing out to his Simiaclariums, and that should be visible in the Astral Plane... but he'd be terribly vulnerable while in Astral Space. This Ogre Mage would be able to see him, and he might not make it back from Astral Space if the Ogre Mage caught him in an Astral Combat. What to do?

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"Michael! You can produce water out of nowhere, right?" Taryn asked suddenly. Her highly destructive mind saw only one solution to defeating the Ogre Mage and his 59 copies, and that solution was high explosives. In her several centuries of spare time, you see, she had developed a rudimentary grenade that was part chemical and part magical. But, as she had stated before, the forest was a tinderbox and a simple spark could set a large area ablaze within the span of about ten minutes. "I've got an idea."

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get LOST

Tem "heard" michael. I'll distract him with more chatter, and maybe give some physical damage.

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I lost the state spelling bee in FIFTH PLACE!!

A gnome came hopping through the forest carrying a bag of nuts. What he saw dumbfounded him.
"Uhh, West? You there buddy? I got the nuts for our food. What the he-" th gnome was surprised as hands wrapped around his face.
"Malt, be very quiet. None o' that chitter chatter yo always do, 'kay?" said West in a quiet voice. Malt the gnome just nodded his head. "Now buddy these guys are powerful. I want you to use some o' that mushroom magic your momma taught you that you're always talkin' 'bout."
The gnome let out a few words and suddenly huge mushrooms sprouted out of the ground.
"IS THAT YOUR MAGIC?" yelled West in a disappointed rage.
"*Gulp* Yes." said Malt timidly.
"Now you've done it. A forest filled with mushrooms and trees, but maybe we can use this to our advantage." West pondered it and then cut one of the soft mushrooms down and yelled "Timber! This is sure to squish some of those monsters!" To his disappointment (and surprise) it let off a chain reaction knocking all the mushrooms down. Not only did it not kill a soul, but it also left a slimy mess of mushroom innards up to a human's knees. All he did was make the fight worse for everybody.

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<GM's note: This scenario will be a tough fight, especially if you guys don't use your heads. This Ogre-Mage is very powerfull and he has a lot more tricks up his sleeve.>

Micheal said "A firebomb, eh? If any time called for mass-destruction, this is one of those times. I think those are simicalariums. They're just like of the Ogre Mage, and they're not illusionary. They can do everything he can, except cast spells. But, just like the real Ogre-Mage, they can be killed! Only, we have to make sure we take out the real Ogre-Mage or he'll just make more of them. Still, a bit of fire should distract him long enough that I can Astrally 'Mark' the real one if this doesn't wipe out all the Simicalariums."

Captain Sealem said, grimly, as the army of Ogre-Mage copies advanced upon them: "A bold plan, Sir Mage. Marcus, Get the Dwarf and his Gnome friend to safety, NOW! Everyone, fall back and take cover! FIRE IN THE HOLE!! FIRE IN THE HOLE!!" and then he hit the deck.

<That's your cue, Taryn>
<On a side, note, I hope your characters all like Giant Barbecued Mushrooms>

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Tem thought he could see the real Mage. He delivered a crotchkick at a whopping 2 miles per hour to one hypothesized was the real one.

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I lost the state spelling bee in FIFTH PLACE!!

{ awesome }

"Oh, goody," Taryn said with a sadistic grin. Without looking she reached into her little pouch and drew out a black sphere roughly the size of a young apple. Muttering something or other, she flung the ball with a practiced flick of the wrist and then stood by for impact...which was in roughly, oh, four seconds or so.

As soon as the black sphere hit something, probably a tree, it exploded into a truly massive ball of deep, glowing red hellfire, far larger than seemed appropriate for such a petite weapon. Part of the spell involved in the making of these 'grenades' was a sort of homing spell, which caused the blast to go in every direction except toward the person who had thrown the sphere in the first place. Just to cause more mayhem, Taryn considered adding a bit of Greek fire to the equation, though decided against it. This blast would go on and continue to intensify for another thirty seconds or so; then, it would probably take another minute for the smoke to clear at least. If there was anything still alive after that, then she and the rest of the party could go in and finish the job.

The sound of the blast was nearly deafening. However, if one had sharp enough ears, one could hear the soft and frankly disturbing sound of Taryn humming a happy little song to herself, amidst all of this horrible flaming destruction.

And if Tem cared to know what was going through her head at this moment, all he would find was a single sentence:

This is the best day ever.

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get LOST

"H-how did you do that?" said West the dwarf in a dumbfounded voice. All Malt the gnome could do was stand.

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"Magic" was all a very horizontal Micheal said. And then he zoned out into an Astral Perception trance.

As soon as he did, two things happened. Micheal's body went rigid and spasmed, and a big glowing neon arrow labeled "He's Right Here" appeared among the smoke and carnage that Taryn's Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch had wrought. Micheal was fighting for his life on the Astral Plane.

"Look" said Maxwell. "Micheal must be marking the real Ogre Mage out for us. Come on quick, let's get him!"

<.Book of Armaments (Chapter 2, verses 9-21)
..And Saint Taryn raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." And the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu..... And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." Amen.>

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As Prosper stabbed orcs and ogres lying on the ground in the aftermath of the hurricane that was Marcus, things happened very fast. First, several ogres appeared from nowhere, next, a giant mushroom forest grew and was leveled. Third, Prosper saw something fly from Taryns hand and then he was knocked flat on his back by a wave of heat and fire.
Never let a pyromaniacal supernatural fire being who's race-we-do-not-know set off explosives. Thought Prosper as he lay on the ground. He had burns in a few places, and his left arm (the injured one) throbbed painfully. Nevertheless, he forced himself up and followed Maxwell to the arrow.
But halfway there, his path was blocked by a Ogre Mage Copy, who lifted a staff to bring down upon his head. Prosper thrust his spear in his belly, and hurried past him, only to find another. Prosper continued fighting, and he should've been winning, but when one fell, another one poped up. The battle was not in his favor, and his attacks wern't doing much.

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(THE ABOVE USER HAS BEEN BANNED)

Prosper found his was to what must have been the place where Taryn's not-so-little bomb had gone off. There, dead, lay an Ogre-Mage copy, his head blown clear off his shoulders. "At least I know they can be killed" came a voice. It was Farnham, with Maxwell and the rest of the party coming up behind him. Captain Sealem said: "Taryn's bomb was a double blessing. It gave Micheal the chance he needed to find the real- Ogre-Mage, and it made a lot of smoke. Since Mages must be able to see something to do Magic to it, it means we're safe from the Ogre-Mage's spellcasting for the moment. In short we know where he is, but he can't target us. We must press the advantage, for we shall not get a second chance."

Meanwhile, Horin Hamerhand was bending over Micheal and casting spells of healing he never knew he had.

<Horin has just leveled-up and acquired two new spells: Cure Moderate Wounds, and Sanctuary

Cure Moderate Wounds (Conjuration (Healing)) This spell functions exactly like Cure Light Wounds, except that it can heal more per casting than Cure Light Wounds can.

Sanctuary(Warding/Abjuration, Neutrality): Any opponent attempting to strike or otherwise directly attack the targeted (warded) creature, even with a targeted spell, can’t follow through with the attack, that part of its action is undone, and it can’t directly attack the warded creature for the duration of the spell. Those not attempting to attack the subject remain unaffected. This spell does not prevent the warded creature from being attacked or affected by area-effect spells or spell-like abilities that do not involve a direct attack. The warded subject cannot attack without breaking the spell but may use non-attack spells or otherwise act and/or move about normally. To sustain this spell, the caster must continue to recite the appropriate holy words, therefore this is an exclusive-action spell. Once the spell is cast on the chosen target, the caster need not maintain line of sight with his warded subject, even if he intends to keep sustaining it. The caster may freely use his hands while sustaining this spell as the spell does not have a gesture or signing component to it's sustainment. Therefore, the cleric who is sustaining this spell may melee with other targets and not break the spell so long as he was not warding himself by means of this spell. A Planar Disjunction can effectively break this spell if cast on the warded target.


Also, Horin's knowledge of non-magical healing has improved to the point that he can now set broken bones and make splints.>

Feeling the power of his deity surge inside him, Horin cast Sanctuary on Micheal, effectively preventing Micheal from being engaged in Astral Combat with the Ogre Mage anymore. "Micheal" he said, hopeful that Micheal could hear him: "Just keep the Ogre-Mage busy with taunts and insults, but don't attack him. I've wared you so that so long as you don't attack him, he can't attack you." And then Horin prayed that the Ogre-Mage wasn't in possession of a strong sense of willpower, or Micheal was gonna get creamed.

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<OOC>If it was the work of Taryn, Holy is probably the last thing it could possibly be.
If anything, it was the Unhollowed Hand Grenade of the Apocalypse.</OOC>[/b]

Eruantian, having put on his ring at the begining of the fight, was with the others in their attempt to charge the real Ogre Mage. But there were still simicalariums about, and Eruantian found himself looking up at a very big ugly. Eruantian bobbed left and right, using Frankie's sword to wound the copy every chance he got. However, it did not seem as though he was doing much damage.

In an attempt to end the fight sooner, Eruantian did something he would in his right mind consider an act of extreme desperation. He began to continuesly blast the ogre with as cold a wind as he could evoke. When it seemed as though the Ogre was suffiently stunned, Eruantian dropped his sword and pounced on the back of its shoulders, grabbing the monster's head with both hands. The simicalarium shreaked as its head began to be both chared and frostbiten at the same time. No matter what it did to shake Eruantian off, he held on.

When the beast finally fell on its back, Eruantian jumped off before he was crushed under the Ogre's massive weight. His eyes were glowing much like they did when he touched the Dire Wolf. He felt somehow... different... But he did not put much thought into this; he had a job to do, so he picked up the sword and rejoined the party.

Because the smoke obscured his vision, and he wouldn't be much use firing blindly, Drek decided to put away his bow in favor of his dagger.

He crept along the ground, looking for a target, when he heard something to his left. He dodged just in time to avoid the greatsword that was swung at him. As the ogre-mage copy swung again, Drek dove towards him, past the reach of his sword, and slashed with his dagger. As the copy grunted with pain, Drek swung his dagger up and slashed him in the face, then delivered a quick kick and escaped.

This isn't working he thought. I can't face these things in close combat. Finding the nearest tree, Drek pulled himself onto the branches and surveyed the battlefield. He couldn't make out much, But he could see Michael's arrow above the real ogre-mage. He pulled out his bow and fired an arrow at the spot it indicated The elf grinned as he heard the arrow hit, and fired another.

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Tem was also doing a bit of work. Now that his powers had fully recovered, he tried getting up by sending a bit of juice to his spine. It worked. Excellent. He got up, and created a sword. <so... there's about 58 mages now, give or take?> He swung a one, hearing a delightful *splurch* noise. <57> He jumped on another and had a snack, killing it. <56>

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I lost the state spelling bee in FIFTH PLACE!!

<No, no that's not what happened. These Ogres are a lot tougher than that. All you've done with that sword of yours is annoyed them a bit.>

The Ogres that Tem thought he had killed got up and said: "Come back here, litt'e squid-faced man." "Me crush you... crush you to GOOO!" One of them ripped up a tree up out of the ground and hurled it at Tem, while the other lunged at him with his huge hands cured into fists. Tem realized he had miscalculated somehow...

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Tem caught the tree telekinetically, and hurled it at the other one. He then feinted fainting.

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I lost the state spelling bee in FIFTH PLACE!!

{ I'm pretty sure Sarge just won the Internet back there.

And yeah, Somm-1, you don't find the word "holy" used in conjunction with anything Taryn does very much anymore, except when used as an expletive.

And very clever use of words, ten. XD }

Taryn was giggling madly. She had procured a sword, probably from a corpse, and was gleefully engaging a pair of the ogre-mage copies, using her own inherent agility to make them crash into each other and other such mean things. The low-visibility smoke just made it that much more fun!

Meanwhile, Acedia had dived for cover as soon as her sharp wolf's hearing caught the word "explosives." Rather than be suffocated by the smoke rolling into the little hole she'd curled up in, she crawled out, shifted out of her wolf form and then quickly made her way up a tree, where the air was clearer.

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get LOST

The Ogre was caught by surprise and took his own tree in the face, knocking him to the ground. The other Ogre, however, caught Tem with his fists, slamming Tem in the head. Tem's head spun.

However, Captain Sealem, Prosper, Farnham, Maxwell, and Taryn were having better luck. They found their way to the real Ogre-Mage in short order, poking and slashing past a dozen Ogre-copies until they got to the real thing. There he stood, a big glowing Neon arrow over his head and a cracking orb of power in his hands. Apparently he was preparing another spell.
He said: "I don't know how you made it past my Simicalariums, but now you die, surface dwellers!"

And with that the Simicalariums varnished as the Ogre-Mage stopped sustaining that spell and unleashed a new one.

<I'll give you a a moment to react before I describe exactly what this new spell is and what it does. Oh and by the way, big plot device coming up right away, so stay tuned.>

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Tem got up and ran up to the mage. He wanted to kick the Mage, but his legs were caught by Dramatic-effect wraiths.

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I lost the state spelling bee in FIFTH PLACE!!

<Um... his legs are caught in what??>

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<Dramatic-effect wraiths. They're invisible wraiths that keep people that would otherwise ruin Dramatic efffect>

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I lost the state spelling bee in FIFTH PLACE!!

<Isn't your head supposed to be spinning? >
Prosper didn't know how he got past all of the Ogre-Mage copies (most likely with a lot of hit and run) but somehow he did, along with most of the group. Prosper looked around as he charged with the rest, noticing a Simicalarium with two arrows sticking out of his body lying very near to the Ogre Mage. He thought nothing of it untill, as he was halfway to the Ogre, it vanished.
<I hope I'm ok in filling that little plot hole with Drek's arrows.>

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(THE ABOVE USER HAS BEEN BANNED)

Taryn muttered something that was more than likely a swear, looking up (albeit slightly) at the ogre-mage.

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get LOST

West kept on fighting gallantly with his friend Malt who was throwing mushrooms (explosive ones) at the monsters. He wasn't doing too bad, but not too good either.

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{ You realize the monstars are *gone* and we're all in kind of suspended animation until Sarge gets on with it, right? }

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get LOST

<True, but West is simply describing what his character(s) were doing when the monsters dissapered and the new spell was unleashed.>

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<What netzen said!>

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