Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

Goofus burninates the king of Peasantry.

Gallant looks up information about his ancestry...

And I will do a TOTPD.

Heh, that rhymed.

_________________

Goofus assumes that he is and will always be the only member of his family.

Gallant always does a TOTPD.

Goofus cannot see what a TOTPD is, so he just gets a bee to sting Gallant in the knee. Whee!

Gallant takes people to the hospital when they are injured.

_________________

Goofus takes people to a woodshop when they are injured.

Though he doesn't share their viewpoint, Gallant is considerate of the feelings of his vegetarian friends.

_________________

Goofus used to have vegetarian friends, but he lost them when he force-fed them all roast beef.

Gallant knows CPR.

_________________

Goofus is very forceful and adept at the Heimlich Maneuver, and often uses it on infants.

Gallant drinks plenty of water.

_________________

Goofus drinks plenty of alcohol.

Gallant is very frugal.

_________________

Goofus is very destroying Google.

Gallant can structure his sentences properly.

_________________

Goofus hates complete sentences and.

Gallent likes his name, even though it sounds wierd.

_________________

Goofus is very forceful and adept at the Heimlich Maneuver, and often uses it on infants = funniest thing ever.

Goofus cuts his dumb name into people, does naughty things to them, and throws them in rivers, thus prompting a massive onslaught of nerd villians making chain letters about it, thus prompting ANOTHER massive onslaught, this one of the dumbest people in the world, to spread it for fear of having "GOOFUS GOOFUS" cut into them and having dirty things done to them and their mother by the ghost of Summer, the girl without a face, who would hang in their closet for a week before killing, if they don't say their crush's name and hit Alt F4.

Gallant assists old ladies in crossing the street.

Goofus runs over both Gallant and the old lady in an 18-wheeler.

[s]Gallant[/s] Anonymous gives information regarding a crime to the police.

Goofus commited the crime, finds out it was Gallant, and poor Gallant winds up in the Witness Protection Program.

Gallant is completely against animal cruelty and the thought of fur coats.

No, wait, nevermind, I don't want to hear the Goofus for that. Do this one instead:

Gallant has scroll buttons and a Lappy. (No innuendo intended.)

Goofus whip lashes a kitty until it is time to go to school!


Gallant watches age appropriate videos on YouTube

_________________

Goofus watches age inappropriate videos on Newgrounds.

Gallant's saliva is sold as a wonder drug.

_________________

Goofus blatantly searches "Mentos and diet coke, pornography, and Youtube poop" for hours on end


Gallant checks his email regularly

_________________
INSERT MEMORABLE QUOTE HERE.

Hes in, and Im ticked, Im still going to pound him

Goofus checks his spam mail irregularly.

Gallant donates a bunch of money to charity.

_________________

Goofus saves all his money and watches movies all day.

Gallant washes his windows every week.

_________________

Goofus eggs Gallant's clean windows every week.

Gallant grows healthy vegetables in his garden.

_________________

Goofus grows mushrooms in his bedroom.

Gallant volunteers as a firefighter.

Goofus volunteers as a firelighter.

Gallant didn't light it, but tried to fight it.

_________________

Goofus claims that it's been burning since the world's been turning.

Gallant knows how to waltz.

_________________

Goofus knows how to disrupt a dance by throwing smoke bombs inside.

Gallant doesn't put his elbows on the table during dinner.

_________________

Goofus [s]throws up[/s] [s]pees[/s] puts a TV on the table during dinner.

Gallant asks a question when he isn't sure.

_________________

Goofus asks 'Are we there yet' even though the answer is exactly the same as it was the last 67 times he asked in the past hour.

Gallant knows how to properly parallel park.

Goofus knows how to parallel park. He just thinks its more convienant for him to park on top of people instead.

Gallant Is Religious.

_________________
(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Goofus is the one that made those words CAPITALIZED.

Gallant deletes junk mail and spam.

_________________

Goofus writes it, sends it, and makes it give your computer a virus if deleted, and then he kicks Granny in the shin.

Gallant wants to Rock And Roll All Nite and party every day.

Goofus rewired Gallant's brain functions to do such.

Gallant wears polo shirts at work.

Goofus wears sneakers in space.

Gallant has a job.

_________________

Goofus has no job, but makes money, because once he learns that it is time for Gallant or someone else's huge payday, he sneaks into their house the night before they'll get paid, murders them horribly, skins them, learns how to imitate their voice, and gets the money the next day, and after he has about a million dollars from doing so, he starts his own organization which teaches how do to that.

Gallant has read Deathly Hallows, but doesn't tell his friends that (BLANK) killed (BLANK) and (BLANK) died from a (BLANK) or that (BLANK) finally defeats (BLANK) and (BLANK) (BLANKS) (BLANK) and they (BLANK) (BLANK) (BLANK) and (BLANK) and (BLANK) (BLANK) as well, while (BLANK) has the reaction of (BLANK) when learning that (BLANK) killed (BLANK) so they (BLANK) (BLANK) (BLANK) and that (BLANK) was really (BLANK) and they (BLANK) and it's (BLANK) unless they've read as well.