Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

You give Pizza Trophy a trophy.
She gives you a blank stare, and replies; "okaaay".

Command: Punch a man so hard he's somehow ends up in Zimbabwe.

You go to Mozambique, VERY western Mozambique. You find a guy. You punch him. He falls backwards across the border into Zimbabwe. Now, how you gonna get home?

Command: Hold bundle o' bottle rockets.

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Ya light 'em, you end up blowing off your left hand.
Nice going Smart one!


Command: Create a UFO, using only duct-tape and cardboard.

Dude, don't be dumb, cardboard won't hold up to the rigors of space flight. Make the whole thing out of duct tape, and you'll have a world class space vehicle, world class enough to make the guys here in Huntsville jealous.


Command: Eat cheeseburger of doom.

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You quickly shove the burger into your pie-hole.
After a half hour or so, you feel a strong pain in your lower abdomen. You fall to the floor gasping for air, till evenually, you black-out and die.
The Cheeseburger contained Ricin.

Command: Play live action Dig-Dug in your backyard.

You dig around and set off some explosives, uncovering some Aztec gold. Unfortunately your yard is not zoned for Aztec gold and you are heavily fined.

>get distracted and wander over there

_________________

You wander... directly into the path of an oncoming firetruck. JASON LEE IN ENEMY OF THE STATE'D!

Command: explode hammer

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

And thus you now have two small holes in your forehead.

Command: .

_________________
You better believe it.

Reply - ,

Command - Get a bottle of mineral water

_________________

*Drum roll*

EVIAN!

Command: Take a nurse to the linen closet for a few minutes of heavy breathing.

_________________

She straps you into an iron lung and shoves oxygen tubes up your nose. HEAVY BREATHING'D!!

Type: Cook Robot.

_________________

Ye tries to cook yon robot. Ye shoves it on ye fire, but ye forgets to drain the oil. Yon fire and yon oil make a bad combination. Ye goes boom.

Command: Laugh out soft.

_________________

You LOS, unfortunately for you, people think it means Lick On Sewage. Everyone thinks you're gross. They're right, you sewage licker, you.

Command: Go all in, pre-flop, with an off-suited 4 and 8.

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Um... That was foolish of ye. How does ye expect to win with ye off-suited 4 and 8? Ye is simply stupid! Oh, ye flop may show 9, 10, and Jack of ye same suit as ye 8, and ye turn may show a queen of the same suit as ye 8, and the other players may not have any card of ye 8's suit but... Well, ye wins. Ye now has enough money to last ye for a good 5 years!

Command: Push it to the limit!

_________________

Safety isn't guarunteed though. In fact when you do it, safety is impended upon. Oi the carnage!

>Put on top coat, top hat, black shades, and white gloves.

_________________
No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

You put on the coat, hat, shades and gloves. Everyone points and laughs at you than starts throuwing rocks.

Eat self.

_________________

Some guy watches you do it. He says "Now, I've seen everything." When a strange guy in a limo asks hims "Have you ever seen a man eat his own head?", he can say "yes."
Limo Guy's head a'splodes.

Command: Pillow fight!

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Very well. Ye fights A pillow. It is level 32. Ye whacks A pillow with a cane. A pillow's leg comes off. A pillow screams as it catches its entrails in its hands. A pillow utters a last gasp before it collapses.

A pillow is dead! Ye gains 500 experience points.
Ye removes 50 gold from the corpse of A pillow.
Ye gets a feather from the corpse of A pillow.

[Classic online text-based RPG's. Sometimes they make no sense at all.]

Command: Use feather

_________________

Wow, you're either really lazy or you totally suck. You didn't say how to use the feather or what to use it with. That means you don't know and aren't even able to come up with a possible way to use it. I bet you're one of those people that makes a thread each time you have a question that would easily be answered with a google search.

Command: Take self way too seriously.

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Randal Graves gives you a severe talking to, before he realizes you're the wrong Dante. He flees back over to RST, ya little devil.

(Name both Dantes and get forty points!)

Put prunes in dryer.

_________________
You better believe it.

You've got dried prunes.. Wait. That doesn't make sense at all...

Command: Invite Dante Hicks and the "Divine Comedy" Dante over for brews and barbecue.

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You invite them over. Then Dante from Devil May Cry comes, and then Dante Alighieri, and then an army of other people named Dante rush into your cottage, cramming it full to the point where it explodes.

DANTE'D!

!sdrawkcab siht rewsnA

_________________
You better believe it.

!K

>Die of awesomeness.

_________________
No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

You are so awesome that the council of awesome lifts this death. Just this once though!

Command: Look at

_________________

You don't need to look at that. Yes, it's not a him but a that.

>Ponder about life and where we're all going.

All points lead to death.


Command: Streak through the Oval Office.

_________________

George Bush takes some pics and puts it on his blog.

Command: Watch the second Pee-Wee Herman movie

_________________

NO... I've seen the first one...

Command: Sell car for gas money.

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Ok, ye sells ye car for gas money. Now ye has no car! What wouldst ye use the gas in? Perhaps ye shouldst sell it, so ye can buy ye another car.

Command: Sell gas for car money.

_________________

Ye selleth gas at a substantial profit. Ye buyeth a solar car. Granted, thou will never get chicks again, but at least thou can get around the kingdom faster.

Command: Throw shoes.

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.