Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

Be near garlic!
Carry a wooden stake!
And for gosh sake, don't look at Michael Jackson and give me another false alarm like that!

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If I had posted during the time of COVID, COLA woulda called me worse than the virus.

Always have an angel protecting you!

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Well, I have the first two steps now:

1. Obtain a wooden stake. In the event that you cannot find a wooden stake, a sharpened cross (or, if you’re Catholic, a crucifix), a clove of garlic, or a flashlight might suffice; however, a wooden stake is the only item that is guaranteed to work. It is unknown whether other religious items, such as Stars of David or burkas, will work, but it’s always worth a try.
2. Approach the vampire as stealthily as you can. Please note, however, that vampires have excellent eyesight and may well notice you, even if it’s night and you’re dressed as a ninja. Therefore, it is recommended that you dress up as something like a tree or a lightpost.

Thoughts?

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Good thinking STu!
Vampires hate the tongue smiley

There, that should keep the forum safe for a 'couple hours.

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If I had posted during the time of COVID, COLA woulda called me worse than the virus.

Mandy, bushes are teh way to go.

buhubs, right on! More protection!!

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Be warned however, some disguises like a lightpost or tree might not always be proven to be comfortbale, for example, if you dress up as a hydrant, beware of the dogs.

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If I had posted during the time of COVID, COLA woulda called me worse than the virus.

HOW TO KILL A VAMPIRE

1. Obtain a wooden stake. In the event that you cannot find a wooden stake, a sharpened cross (or, if you’re Catholic, a crucifix), a clove of garlic, or a flashlight might suffice; however, a wooden stake is the only item that is guaranteed to work. It is unknown whether other religious items, such as Stars of David or burkas, will work, but it’s always worth a try. If all else fails, kill someone that annoys you, such as an annoying neighbor or the president, and offer their corpse to the vampire.
2. Approach the vampire as stealthily as you can. Please note, however, that vampires have excellent eyesight and may well notice you, even if it’s night and you’re dressed as a ninja. Therefore, it is recommended that you dress up as something like a tree, a bush, or a lightpost.
3. Upon approaching the vampire, pull out your stake (or cross/crucifix/flashlight/garlic/Star of David/burka/dead body). Stab the vampire right through the chest. This should kill it, assuming you are using the stake; other methods are far less reliable, but can be used if you have nothing else to kill the vampire with.
4. If you kill the vampire, you should probably run; other vampires may try to attack you.
5. If you fail to kill the vampire, try again. If you get bitten, you will either die horribly or become a vampire yourself, so I suggest that you try your very best to kill it. If you can’t, run as fast as you can,
6. Upon returning home, be sure to make a blog post about the incident. People will love you for it.
7. ???
8. PROFIT!

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Where's the part where you run off and write a best-selling novel about the incident?

Even though it could just be a crazy, crazy acid trip.

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If I had posted during the time of COVID, COLA woulda called me worse than the virus.

By the way, contrary to popular belief, direct sunlight does not always kill a bampire. In fact, Count Dracula is known to have walked around in broad daylight. However, sunlight does weaken all bampires, so you might still be able to use daylight to your advantage.

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So following your logic and the previous procedures, it'd be best to dress up as a lamp post, and instal one of those - simulated daylight bulbs in it, only expect have about a million of them?

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You forgot to say that you should probably talk to the vampire a la Sims 2 if your items suck and can't run very well. Eventually, the talk will go on for so long that the sun will come up and the vampire will die.

Meh, worth a try.

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A hug.

Put four tables around them if worse comes to worse.

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Um...

I don't know what that means.


And you smell like pea soup!

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Anything regarding Bibles. I hear that a papercut from the Gospel of John is particularly deadly.

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Umm....I see some interesting things there, but what exactly are we looking for?

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Super Mario World. Particulary a power up.

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It's a trap!




Someone give me a facepalm. I'm prepared.

The giant coin or the raccoon leaf?

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You know you've broken physics again when your final answer for a stone's velocity dropped from a 50m cliff is negative.

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Raccoon leaf. And practically everything else SMW-related on there. Seriously. This is awesome. Now, if someone could find beta images of SMB1-3.



OH POO-

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I HIT MY HEAD ON THE TABLE

MY BRAIN HURTS

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It's surprisingly difficult to intentionally inflict a papercut.

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Bible Paper Airplanes?

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Well, St. Paul does say that the Word of God is a sharp two-edged Sword of Truth.

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Nah, you just defined "positive" velocity wrong.
I think.
Either that, or you've got a superstone on your hands.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

A piece YOU wrote?

Nachos for everyone!

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I dunno. Nachos are pretty much accepted by most people. Those that don't can have the option of their chip flavor of choice.

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You mean like potato?!?

YAYZ!

I'm so happy right now!

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If I had posted during the time of COVID, COLA woulda called me worse than the virus.

Some friends and I are going to go see Dragon Wars (possibly tommorrow) just for kicks and giggles.

What fun we'll have.